The Hole In Her Heart
by akaMick
Summary: As doctors race to fix the hole in her daughter's heart, can Edward fix the hole in Bella's?
1. Chapter 1

**The Hole In Her Heart by Mick**

Well, Lola and I are back. This is going to be another sweet little story. It'll be a little sad, but not for long. Lots of happy times are included too and there's nothing too angsty, more like intense drama. Oh, and there is a happily ever after. A few things before we begin...

Stephenie Meyer owns all these wonderful characters. I promise she will get them all back, slightly worse for wear, at the end of my story.

Thanks to Lola for not only being a good beta, but a good friend - she's my kind of people.

Okay, usually I like Jacob, and I didn't intentionally kill him off in 'Life, Liberty, and a Second Pursuit Of Happiness'. To make up for it, I am letting him live in this fic and I might even have him see the error of his ways at the end.

Chapter 1 – Who's Hormonal?

* * *

"Come on Bella, hurry up." Alice whined trying to keep the exasperation out of her voice but was failing at it miserably. "Please try waddling quicker. You know how much I hate being late to anything." Alice tried in vain to hurry Bella along. "All the good tables will be taken and I swear, if you make me late to this shindig, I'll just never forgive you! It took you forever to get dressed today." She spoke the last words with an accusatory tone and a smile.

Bella looked over at her best friend and laughed so hard at the expression on her face that she had to stop walking to catch herself from becoming winded. "I'm sorry Alice. It comes with the territory." Bella reached down patting her very pregnant belly. "You do realize that if you hadn't shown up when you did, I'd still be back home trying to zip myself into this outfit, and might I remind you that you are the one who picked this out for me?"

"I know!" Alice's voice was laced with just a trace of annoyance but then softened. "Sorry Bella. I just can't believe that you of all people were so concerned about your appearance that you almost made us late. That's my role." Alice slowed her steps to match Bella's turtle-like pace. "If you are walking this slow in those shoes I can't imagine what you would have been like in the heels. You're just lucky ballet flats came back in style." She gave an impatient glance at her watch, which Bella caught out of the corner of her eye.

"Relax Alice. I promise we'll be right on time." Bella tried to change the subject on her friend to take her mind off their lateness. "I just can't believe its Labor Day already. Where did our summer go?" Bella asked but didn't really expect an answer. She kept going, trying to distract Alice. "It was sure nice of Victoria to let us bring families to this year's party. Which reminds me, thanks for picking me up. Jacob is working late but he said he will meet us here." Bella looked over gratefully at her best friend.

"No problem whatsoever. I wish I had a family to bring." Alice gave her a nonchalant shrug as if it really didn't bother her that her whole family consisted of the one friend walking at her side. "By the way, you look amazing. And happy." Alice added the happiness part as an afterthought and sighed. "Pregnancy really does agree with you Bella."

Bella ignored Alice's attempt at changing the subject and went back a sentence on her friend. "Hey, what am I? Chopped liver? You are my family Alice. Well, you and Jacob. And if the way I feel today is any indication, our family will be growing very soon." Bella patted her round tummy affectionately, trying to calm the baby inside as she walked. "I hope Jacob's not too tired to meet us here." Bella said worriedly.

"Bella! Could you stop rubbing it in that you have Jacob and I have no one? If he said he'll be here, then he'll be here. Stop worrying so much or you'll get gray hair to go with those new crow's feet around your eyes." Alice was only half-joking. She loved Bella like the sister she never had but always felt her patience slip away where Bella's love for Jacob was concerned. She never completely understood Bella's attraction to him, and she always felt that Bella was too good for him. But she was her best friend and she supported her decision to marry Jacob, even going as far as to keep her lowly opinions of him to herself.

"I'm not meaning to rub it in Alice, you know that. I'm just so happy at this point in my life. Things just can't get any better. I get worried because they say when you get to the top, be careful because the only way to go is down? Well, I'm just afraid that I may be setting myself up for a fall. I just get nervous sometimes wondering if this is all really true." Bella made her way slowly into the hotel lobby to the office party. She saw her husband standing off to the side waiting for her and Alice and waved to him.

"Well, you look beautiful. That deep blue color really does something for your coloring. Don't worry, Jacob will love how you look in that dress. Sleeveless is in after all, just look around you." Alice's arms made a sweeping gesture around the lobby. Bella had to admit that her friend was right. She felt beautiful in the lightweight cotton dress. It draped her pregnant figure perfectly and she loved the deep blue colors mixed with the ivory edges and the lightweight material helped with the pregnancy induced hot flashes she happily endured. She stopped walking as Jacob came up to them and greeted them both lovingly.

"Hi beautiful, and even more beautiful." Jacob said leaning in to kiss Alice's cheek before turning to kiss Bella on the lips as he greeted her.

"Oh Jake. You shouldn't say such nice things to me. Especially in front of your wife." Alice said as she slapped his back playfully, but with a scowl on her face. 'Do it for Bella' Alice thought to herself.

"Thanks for bringing her with you Alice. If I would have gone all the way back to the house and come back again it would have taken a lot longer." Jacob took Bella's arm gently, effectively moving Alice out of his way.

"Oh, it was no problem Jacob. I can always make the time for Bella – she's very important to me." Alice looked over at Bella lovingly and couldn't control the barb that she aimed directly toward Jacob.

"Alice, believe me, you have no idea how much I appreciate you." Bella said, stopping midstride to catch her breath. "Especially all the help you've been lately with me being pregnant."

"Oh Bella, you mean more to me than anything. You are the only family I have ever really had." Alice broke Bella away from Jacob's arm drawing her into a hug, her small arms not quite reaching around her friend's waist.

Bella drew Alice as close as she could. "You know you're my family too right? You mean a lot to me, you know you are definitely part of my real family."

"What do you mean by, 'real family'? What do you call my family Bells? You know everyone in the tribe accepts you as my wife." Jacob's defense went up immediately, as if he was searching for a reason to fight with his wife.

"I know that Jacob. I just mean that they are _your_ family. My family consists of Alice, you and baby Black in here." She rubbed her stomach gently, lovingly. "It will be nice to have my own family around me in my own home. That's all. Please don't argue about this now." Bella stopped Jacob turning to face him, her eyes pleading with him as Alice looked on glaring at them. "Please?" She begged.

Alice walked off in a huff. Why Bella would think its okay for her to have to beg her husband was beyond her comprehension. She walked past a well-dressed waiter carrying a tray of drinks reaching for one as she made her way to the center of the room, lost in her own thoughts. When I fall in love, she thought to herself, I'm not going to settle for anything less than someone who completely worships and adores me. With that, Alice found a half empty table near the middle of the room and went to save seats for Bella and her husband, Jake the dog.

As Bella smoothed Jacob's bruised ego, he took her arm in his. They made their way into the room specifically reserved for Intrigue Interiors. Bella spotted Alice immediately and motioned to Jacob so they could head that way so that she could finally rest her feet. But she wasn't so lucky because as they were walking to the table, they were stopped by Bella's boss Victoria.

"You know Isabella, I don't think you've ever brought your husband to anything before. Why don't you introduce us?" The older woman practically sneered the words to her.

Swallowing her immediate retort of 'you never allowed us to include family before', Bella settled on a more subtle response for her boss. "Oh, my fault Victoria. Victoria Ingram, this is my husband, Jacob Black. Jacob, this is my boss, Victoria Ingram." In her thoughts, Bella added a few choice adjectives that she would have used to describe the woman who signed her paycheck. At the top of the list were conniving and ruthless, plus a couple of four lettered ones that made Bella blush even thinking about them.

"Well, Jacob, or may I call you Jake?" Victoria leaned into him.

"Of course, either name works for me. Just use whichever one comes naturally to you." Jacob almost turned away from his wife completely as Victoria latched on.

Bella sighed and shifted her weight. She was so uncomfortable from the walk that she glanced around toward the table. Deciding that her husband and boss wouldn't miss her, she made her way to where Alice was now talking to one of the freelance designers. She sat down slowly and gently.

"Isabella! You are positively glowing! I'll bet you are almost ready to be done with pregnancy and give motherhood a try." Esme Cullen stood and walked over to where Bella now sat catching her breath and shifting to get comfortable. She smiled as she reached down to hug Bella warmly.

"It's so nice to see you again Esme. I haven't seen you since we finished up the Katrin Conservatory earlier this year. Just a couple of more weeks and I'll be a mom. I'm feeling great but so beyond exhaustion these days. Other than that, I guess I've been lucky that this pregnancy has been very easy for me. I've heard some horror stories that have made my toes curl." Bella laughed as she shifted in her seat gently next to Alice.

"Oh Bella, you are going to be a wonderful mother. Are you feeling nervous about the birth at all?" Esme asked with interest.

"No, I think I have everything pretty well figured out. I know Jacob and Alice will both be there and I am going to try for a natural birth but I want the option for painkillers just in case. I'll be fine." Bella nodded her head and focused on her stomach, her prize. "We'll be fine." She smiled then looked over at Alice who was smiling back at her.

"How do your parents feel about becoming grandparents?" Esme sat next to Bella crossing her legs as she leaned in to talk. She clearly wanted to continue talking about babies.

"Oh, I don't…um, my father has passed away but my mother is okay with it I suppose. She's accepting it, I guess I should say. She still acts like a child herself so I am not sure how far to push the whole grandparent thing with her. What about you Esme? Are you looking forward to grandparenthood in the future?" Bella sipped at a glass of ice water Alice had poured for her from a pitcher on their table. "Wasn't one of your sons married?"

"Well, as a matter of fact, my youngest son Emmett and his wife Rosalie are expecting in January and they just found out they are having twins." Esme's voice was full of excitement as she continued. "Rose has no family to help out in Arizona so they are moving back to Illinois where we can help and pitch in. I am looking so forward to it.

Once she is settled in, I would like to have a get together so I can introduce her to some people; I think you three would really get along. Rosalie is a wonderful person and I'm grateful that she was able to tame Emmett a bit. He was my wild child, you know the one I worried about most. I guess now my worry should be about my other son, Edward." Esme's face clouded with concern.

"Wow, how many children do you have Esme?" With her voice so full of emotion, Alice had to include herself in the conversation.

"Three. All boys I'm afraid and none of them children any longer even though they act like it when they are all together. Jasper is my oldest. Then two years later we welcomed the twins Edward and Emmett. So I know exactly what Rose is going to go through. Edward is milling around here somewhere with my husband Carlisle." Esme quickly scanned the crowded room but her eyes came up empty.

"Would you like to sit with us during dinner Esme?" Bella asked politely, glancing around at the still empty table they occupied.

"Oh thank you dear, but Victoria mentioned she saved a spot for me at the head table. I told her that it should have gone to someone on her staff and not a freelancer, but she insisted." Esme looked both irritated and embarrassed. "I'll have to find Carlisle and Edward and bring them over later to introduce you. Don't leave before I find you again okay? I better go sit down now. You two enjoy yourselves this evening. I'll see you later." Esme stood leaning down to give each of them a hug before she walked gracefully away.

"She's so nice. How do you think she ever got hooked into working so closely with a shark like Victoria?" Alice practically spat the words out.

Neither Alice nor Bella could stand Victoria but since she was their boss and she did have connections, neither one could really say anything bad about her either, out loud that is. Both were grateful that they had jobs at one of the best interior design companies in Chicagoland.

"I don't know. She has such a great sense of style, it's no wonder Victoria latched on to her. I wish you would have worked on the conservatory project with us. She's just a dream to work with Alice. It's no wonder why she can pick and choose her projects." Bella stopped talking as Jacob walked up to the table.

"Well, Bells, thanks for deserting me out there. That woman is something else." Jacob sat down immediately placing his napkin in his lap, eager to get the night over with.

"Sorry Jacob, but I really needed to just sit down. I'm just tired." Bella casually slid her shoes off under the table and flexed her toes and ankles. "Besides, Victoria looked like she wanted your undivided attention." Bella tried to keep her voice even but couldn't quite keep the jealousy from showing through.

"Well, you shouldn't just introduce someone and then leave. That was rude. No wonder she treats you two like that if that's how you behave around her." Jacob gave both Bella and Alice a glare, daring them to protest all the talking they did about Victoria behind her back.

Bella sighed as she sipped her water. "You're right Jacob, I'm sorry. I was just being selfish and wanted to sit down. Thank you for coming with me tonight." Bella was being sincere and it was driving Alice nuts.

"So, Bella, have you been practicing your breathing and stretching?" Alice was desperate to change the topic and nothing made Jacob stop talking faster than baby talk.

Alice slyly kept the conversation on the topic of the baby. Jacob huffed every so often looking completely bored. All throughout dinner he made snide little comments to Bella and Alice, completely ignoring the fact that there were now other people around the table with them. Every time either Alice or another co-worker would ask Bella a question, Jacob would make a remark that would draw stares from everyone seated at their table. Bella would smile apologetically. She hated being caught between her best friend and her husband. As Alice started up an argument with Jacob about the benefits of breastfeeding, Bella became lost in her own thoughts. She was still daydreaming of feeding her own child when Esme tapped her on the shoulder.

By now, dinner was over and people were circulating freely around the room making conversation. She looked up at Esme dreamily before she snapped out of her reverie.

"Isabella dear, I'd like to introduce you to my husband Dr. Carlisle Cullen and my son Edward Cullen." Bella leaned over a bit and awkwardly tried to get up but Carlisle stopped her with a gentle laugh.

"Please, don't get up on our account. It's very nice to meet you Isabella. Esme's told us wonderful things about your work." Carlisle extended his hand. Edward followed his father's example then the three of them sat down in recently vacated seats around the table as the rest of the introductions were made.

For the next half hour, talk centered mainly on babies, babies, and more babies. Jake looked visibly upset as everyone centered the talk around Isabella and the upcoming birth. Edward looked visibly upset that Jacob didn't seem to care or join into the conversation involving his own family.

First he had to deal with his own twin Emmett's news that he was getting married and shortly after that he found out that Emmett and Rose were expecting. Yup, his younger brother had everything he wanted. Not that Edward would ever hold it against Emmett, he was happy for him. Rosalie wasn't the type of girl he would ever be interested in anyway.

But Isabella, Edward found himself more than once staring at her. He thought of the way she lovingly rubbed her swollen stomach during the conversation. He remembered the dreamy look on her face when they first walked up to her. But her husband!

Edward was surprised by just how much he wanted to punch this stranger in the face. What a jerk, Edward thought. Here this guy had a beautiful wife, ready to burst with happiness over the impending birth of her, no…_their_ child, and the chump didn't seem interested at all. Edward inwardly seethed. After making polite excuses about having to answer a call from work, he stood up leaving the group talking at the table. He stood off to the side of the room, near the bar, and tried not to think about the beautiful woman that captured everyone's attention. He could still see her flushed pink cheeks. Every so often, she would pull her hair around her face, as if to hide. It would only be a matter of minutes before her husband would reach over and brush it back. The fact that this man had free reign and could touch her at all made Edward jealous. He instantly disliked Jacob Black and knew from his attention to his wife, or lack thereof, that she was nothing more than eye candy for him.

In the amount of time that Edward was at the table with them, he had pretty much insulted his wife about her dress, the color of it, and the fact that she was showing off too much skin of her upper arm. That last remark made Isabella scramble for her sweater and put it on even though she had commented Esme about having to endure hot flashes only moments before.

As a waiter casually offered him a tray of drinks, Edward grabbed one downing it quickly. He pulled out his phone and checked messages. With any luck there would be a message from work with an emergency on one of his construction sites and he could leave. He shut his phone as he realized that it was the weekend and none of his crews would be out working.

Dialing his twin brother Emmett's number he spoke briefly with him about life in general including his impending move back home. He loved both of his brothers and they were his best friends but lately all Emmett could do was talk about his wife Rose. More specifically Rose and their babies. Or Rose and their move back to Illinois to be closer to his family. As long as the topic included Rose, Emmett was all in.

He knew it was driving a wedge between them, however unintentional it might be. Edward was all kinds of happy for Emmett, but he himself was tired of playing around. His last girlfriend had almost succeeded in driving a permanent wedge between him and his family. She wanted nothing to do with her own family and resented the fact that Edward was so close to his. He hoped that no one else took note of his jealously.

As he watched the small group at the table with fascination he observed as the small pixie girl reached over and rubbed Isabella's stomach lovingly, it didn't escape him that Jacob Black was growing more and more irritated. In fact, it looked to Edward like every movement that the black haired woman made was done with the sole intention of purposefully agitating Jacob. Edward almost smiled at the boldness of the woman's actions. What a freaky little monster, Edward thought as he smiled. He was inwardly cheering for the woman to upset Jacob Black enough that he would leave. For a brief moment, Edward wondered what it would be like to be part of that group. Would her friend accept him if it was he who was sitting in that chair or would she treat him the same as she was treating her friend's husband. That in her eyes, no one would be good enough for her friend Isabella Black.

The thought of friends took Edward's mind to places he didn't like it to wander. They centered on Tanya. She never mentioned children to him, and she never wanted Edward to go out with her and her friends. Did she even have any friends? She never introduced Edward to any of them if she did. When they went out, it was always just the two of them. On occasion, she would be game for going out with his family or some of his co-workers, but overall, she kept him on a short leash. Edward was just grateful she showed her true colors before he could propose. Edward made brief eye contact with his father. He watched as Carlisle excused himself and stood up from the group. As he approached, he casually took two drinks from a tray and walk over to Edward.

"Is everything okay, Edward?" He offered his son one of the drinks.

"Sure Dad, why wouldn't it be?" Edward smiled and gamely took the drink to sip at it. Swirling the red liquid around, he made eye contact with his father, knowing he wasn't fooling anyone.

"Oh I don't know. Someone seems to have caught your eye at that table. A certain someone who has everyone at that table eating out of her hand? I just thought it was strange that you didn't want to enjoy her company as well, even if we do have to put up with her jerk of a husband." Carlisle hid his smirk behind his wineglass.

Edward couldn't believe he actually heard his father right. In all his years growing up, he never heard his father insult anyone. Granted, being called a jerk was on the mild side of the spectrum of words that Edward would have used, but still, for Carlisle to use any sort of insult on anyone was surprising.

"It makes you wonder how people can be so blind. And no, before you even ask, I am not specifically talking about Isabella Black. Tanya had me so wrapped around her finger that I never saw what she was doing to my family. It seems that she's in the same boat. Can she not see how he is treating her? It's sickening that he has a wife, a family on the way, and _that's_ how he treats her? I guess when people say love is blind that this is what they are talking about." Edward finished his drink placing it on a nearby table.

"She may be blind to it now, but I think she's more aware of it than she's letting on. She's due in a couple of weeks and is probably focusing on that. Her friend there seems to be taking every opportunity to upset her husband. I am sure that she's not going to let Isabella forget that her husband's not a very nice man. They seem very protective of each other." Carlisle nudged Edward's arm and nodded toward the table.

Edward caught Carlisle's gaze quickly looking back at the table. He saw the black haired girl staring daggers at Jacob as he moved to fix his wife's hair, yet again.

Something was very not right with that trio. Edward sighed. He could make things right. Her friend seemed very friendly and outgoing. He could get to like her. And Isabella! He could look at her for the rest of his life. He could grow old looking at her face every day.

He thought about how her face would look staring at a handful of children. Children that they had made together out of their love. Get a grip Edward. He chastised himself as he shook his head from his fantasy world. It would never be his; he would never find what he was looking for because as his oldest brother Jasper had pointed out, it just didn't exist.


	2. Chapter 2 Where's My Sunshine?

**The Hole In Her Heart by Mick**

Well, Lola and I are back. This is going to be another sweet little story. It'll be a little sad, but not for long. Lots of happy times are included too and there's nothing too angsty, more like intense drama. Oh, and there is a happily ever after. A few things before we begin...

Stephenie Meyer owns all these wonderful characters. I promise she will get them all back, slightly worse for wear, at the end of my story.

Just a little bit of drama at the beginning, nothing too scary this chapter. A little bit of background and a little bit of good times..Oh, and we get to meet more Cullens.

Chapter 2 – Where's My Sunshine?

* * *

Bella was in a trance. All she could do was stand by the window and stare out. Occasionally she shifted position, rocking slowly back and forth, to try to comfort herself. As she continually stared through the glass, she irrationally hoped to get a glimpse of an answer to her nagging question of 'where did I go wrong'.

She stood with her arms folded in front of her, missing the rounded belly that used to be beneath; the very one that had once held her daughter while protecting her. She gazed out at the snow covered window ledge and sighed deeply, trying to gather more strength from somewhere but not really so sure she had any more left. She felt physically incapable of giving anything else. Mentally, she was no better. Her mind wasn't on the beautiful Chicago skyline with the huge flakes drifting in the orange glow of the streetlights outside. Her mind was with her daughter. Here, in this hospital, where she could very well lose her forever, again.

She couldn't stop the fleeting thoughts of the possibility of having to say goodbye, again. Of never having her beautiful daughter with her or ever seeing her grow up. Never being able to sing to her or feel her squirm in her arms. She glanced toward the cold steel crib placed in the center of the room blinking away the tears as she switched points of view.

She thought of her daughter Tansy, and how must she be feeling. Could the infant even feel yet? Judging from how loud her screams were when they poked at her, Bella knew she could feel pain. But she had to wonder if her daughter ever felt the love that she tried to pour into her on a daily basis through her thoughts, her touches, her songs, even her sweet murmurings and her breast milk. Bella did it all with love, and she did it happily.

She wondered if her daughter knew and understood just how much she truly loved her. At three months old, she didn't yet realize what it was like to have the sun on her face, all warm and golden. Of soft rain drops lightly dancing on her skin. Of huge Chicago size snowflakes melting on the tip of her warm tongue. Would she ever get a real chance at life? To really live? To know a world even existed beyond hospitals, tubes and pain – so much pain. In her short life, that was all Bella was really sure Tansy ever knew. Of course, Bella hoped that Tansy knew how much she loved her. But was that love enough?

She had to love Tansy enough for two people now, since Jacob left her. Them. He had left _them_. Her only consolation was that he had left their daughter with her. He left her feeling emptier than she had ever felt before but it didn't compare to how he had left Tansy. Bella didn't care that Jacob forgot their wedding vows. For better, for worse, in sickness and in health, obviously those words meant nothing to him.

Bella could recall every detail of their wedding and subsequent vows; she went over them frequently in her mind. She didn't remember saying for better or until-we-have-a-sick-child-and-then-you-can-leave. She took her mind off herself and thought of Jacob, and about how he had left his daughter. She herself couldn't imagine what it would be like. To walk away from this little girl they had created together. Sure, she and Charlie weren't so close, but he always let her know in little ways that he loved her. No more so than when he willed her his little house in the suburbs.

All while growing up she had envisioned what it would be like for her if Charlie and Renee had stayed married. She would come running home from school and they would both be there waiting for her. Loving and encouraging her. Instead, she had to deal with Renee, her constant badmouthing of Charlie and keeping Bella away from him as much as possible.

She had always dreamed of more for her own daughter. Even early on in her pregnancy, she had wanted the king and queen raising a princess theme for Tansy's life. She had her king and they were expecting their princess. Now, the irony wasn't lost on Bella that she had lost her king and her princess was sick. She had cried when she explained this to Alice and then laughed while Alice explained that Charlie's house would be their castle.

Alice's support aside, Bella still couldn't fathom walking away from her daughter. How could anyone leave their child? Especially a sick child? But leave he did and Bella could only wonder if he ever looked back at the wife and child he had deserted. He hadn't answered any of her calls. Not even to find out how Tansy was doing. Did he even care, really? Once they found out how sick she was, that was the end of his perfect little dream. No white picket fence with the two point five kids out in front.

Bella blinked, pulling her sweater closer around her to fight off the chill from being so close to the window. She knew she was going to be here all night but she didn't know any other way to get through. This was her life now, for better, or worse. She turned from the window and walked toward the phone that was positioned on the table out of the way. There was only one person left to call.

"It's Bella." She breathed heavily into the phone. As she took a steadying breath, her next words came out in a rush but she knew that she wouldn't need to explain to the person at the other end of the line. "I'm at the hospital again. Can you come?"

"I'm there." Alice said simply, and Bella heard the click immediately afterward. Bella never knew that she was not the only individual in Chicagoland that was crying over her current situation.

While she was lovingly patting her daughter's soft wisps of hair and comforted her as much as she could, she was clueless that across town on the city's far north side, Esme Cullen sat in her perfectly arranged parlor crying in her husband's arms as she told him of Isabella Black's fight.

"Carlisle, it's just horrific. The way she treated Isabella Black! I'm so disappointed in Victoria that I told her I will no longer be doing anymore collaborative work with her and that I would never recommend her shop to anyone else." Esme cried into her husband's shoulder.

"Esme." Carlisle chided his wife gently as he wrapped her in his arms. "You were always so sensitive. What happened today? Wait; is this the same Isabella that I met at the Labor Day party?" Carlisle briefly looked down at his wife's tear stained face as he remembered Esme telling him a few months ago about a co-worker who had recently gave birth.

"Yes." Esme nodded her head then reached for another tissue from the box on the end table. "It turns out that her daughter is very ill. Bella's had to take so much time off, more than her maternity leave allows, I'm afraid. I've talked to her friend Alice, the woman with black hair that you met that day?" At Carlisle's affirmation that he did indeed remember Alice, Esme continued.

"She still works at the shop but she confided in me that she's leaving. She's recently moved in with Isabella to help her out. Neither one has any family. With all the sick time that Isabella has had to use, Victoria has given her no choice but to leave. She'll at least have some compensation, but it's nowhere near enough. According to Alice, Isabella's daughter needs to be on medication because she can't survive the surgery yet. She was very careful about what she said to me, she doesn't want Victoria to know yet but she's leaving the shop to follow Isabella into freelancing and that way she can help her out more." Esme leaned further into Carlisle for more comfort.

"What about her husband, the baby's father? Grandparents maybe? Surely there is someone." Carlisle rubbed his wife's back gently.

"No, I don't think so. Her father passed away and she's not very close with her mother. When I talked to her at the Labor Day party, she mentioned that her mother is less than thrilled about being a grandmother. And from what the rumor mill is saying at work her husband left her once he found out the baby was sick – actually that's not a rumor, Alice confirmed it for me." Esme shuddered and cried softly in her husband's arms.

"Sweetheart, I can feel those gears turning in your mind. What is it you want to do? You know you will have your hands full once Emmett and Rose arrive with the twins." Carlisle pulled his wife away to hold her within arms so he could stare at her beautiful face.

"I know Carlisle. I need to take care of my own family first. Once Emmett and Rose are settled with Ethan and Emily I am going to start looking into having Isabella re-do one of the bedrooms upstairs into a children's room. She can do amazing things with paint. I just need your support in this. It's something I do feel strongly about Carlisle. You'll help?" Esme posed it as more of a plea, but she knew her husband well enough that she wasn't afraid he would turn her down. She knew she would have his full support.

"Esme, just don't ask for something I am not capable of giving you, and you will have everything you ever wanted." He kissed his wife deeply as they snuggled before the fire.

By the time April rolled around, Bella had her crazy days scheduled down to a science. Alice was a trooper, chipping in at all the right times. She had no problem moving in with Bella and taking over the small house that her father had left her and Jacob. Alice immediately assumed the role of guard dog and more than once Bella had told her to calm down. Alice would just remind her that she was doing nothing less than her husband would do. This stunning revelation came with fits of laughter as the women compared Bella's absentee husband to a dog.

For all the things that had gone horribly wrong for Bella during the past year, there were a few bright spots and she had to remind herself of them daily. Her daughter's birth was first and foremost in her mind.

It didn't matter that she had so many health problems. Bella loved her daughter unconditionally. The magnitude of the situation she was in aside, the miracle of Tansy's birth and those first blissful moments afterward still had Bella counting her blessing that she was a mom, a mother. She was someone's mommy! Someone depended on her to kiss away the owies and wipe up the tears. Bella also knew that even with Jacob abandoning her, a small part of her would be forever grateful to him for giving her this beautiful creature.

A much larger part of Bella would eternally be grateful for Alice. Her little friend had stuck by her side while she dated and married Jacob. Giving her honest opinion of him only once when they first started dating, and then realizing that Bella was in love she held her tongue and supported her. All negative thoughts Alice had about Jacob remained trapped inside her own head as she watched Bella's relationship with Jacob progress and grow. She stuck by her friend's side through it all. Even after Jacob left his wife and child, Alice was right there helping Bella pick up the pieces not only of her own shattered life, but that of her daughter's as well.

Support and helping hands had also come from unlikely sources as well. Charlie's neighbor's embraced Bella and her frail daughter. They chipped in to help fix up the house, take care of the lawn and snow when necessary. Every so often, Bella would open the door to find someone there with a container filled with food for her and Alice along with a small gift for the baby.

Bella always invited them inside and more often than not they would come in and visit. They would start out talking about Tansy and how she was doing, eventually the conversation would turn to more ordinary things such as the weather, and if Bella felt like she could manage to take on a small side job painting something nearby. She recognized these small friendships and their value as she became well known on her own, without Victoria's help. These little jobs allowed her to create her own work schedule while still allowing her care for her daughter.

Even Jacob's friends helped out. They never talked about Jacob, if they had seen him or not Bella didn't know. She knew someone had to be in contact with them in order for them to even know of Tansy's medical predicament. It was mostly Quil and Embry who had stepped up to offer help.

They brought small gifts for the baby and did odd jobs around the house, basically chipping in where ever needed. Bella could never bring herself to ask about Jake, and they never offered her the information. They just always seemed to know when the gate was ready to fall from its hinges, when the lattice on the porch needed to be replaced, or if the gutters were clogged. She was grateful for their support and while it was no substitute for having her husband by her side, it did free up her time and subsequently left her with a little more money in her pocket.

When Tansy was just shy of six months old, Bella received a call from Esme Cullen. She was shocked at first to hear from her. She hadn't realized that Esme knew of her predicament or that she had even left Victoria's company. Alice had let it slip awhile back that she spoke to Esme, letting her know that Tansy was sick, but didn't launch into much detail.

She enjoyed catching up with her on the phone, learning that she had finally become a grandmother. Her grandchildren, Ethan and Emily, at three months old, kept her busy and filled her house with noise and laughter. The only thing missing from her house now was a nursery for them and she insisted that Bella be the one to paint it. Bella knew there was no way she would tell the woman no. A couple of days later, having found a trusted neighbor to watch her own daughter, Bella was driving with Alice to Esme Cullen's house see if the project was something that she could take on.

"Bella, relax, Tansy will be fine with Christine and Diana. It's only a lunch date. What's the worst that could happen?" Alice chirped as she continued to drive toward the Cullen's house.

"You really don't want me to answer that do you?" Bella didn't need to say the word, she and Alice both knew the worst was death. What she finally realized was that her daughter's death could come whether she was there or not. Death was not choosy about time and always picked the worst possible moment. As if there was ever a good time to die. "I know Alice. But if, there's always the 'if' factor that won't let me relax completely. We're only staying a couple of hours. Lunch, and then home, you promised." Bella's voice sounded almost panicked as she looked out the window.

She desperately wanted to bring her daughter with, but needed to limit her exposure to outside germs and try to keep her as healthy as possible, per doctor's orders. There were also very few people that she could depend on to babysit, as Tansy needed special attention that not just any high school kid could provide. As much as she was looking forward to seeing Esme Cullen and possibly working with her again, she was too keyed up about her daughter to enjoy the small window of free time.

"Have you heard from Jacob yet?" Alice seemed apprehensive to bring up the subject of Bella's husband to her but needed to take Bella's mind off her daughter.

"Not yet, but I am still hopeful that he'll come to his senses. I know he doesn't love me anymore. Honestly, at this point, the feeling is mutual. But he needs to take some responsibility for Tansy if he wants any part in her life at all. The longer he waits, the harder it's going to be for both of them." Bella rubbed her forehead, a sign that she was getting stressed.

"Well, it's his loss if he doesn't. And I'll be there for you Bella. I'll help with Tansy. Plus we have Diana and Christine, you know they adore her. Your work schedule is a lot smoother now too, you can make and choose your own projects and work them around Tansy's care. Aside from that, we have your ancestral home, so there's a roof over our heads. We have everything we need to give Tansy the life we never had." Alice looked pleased with herself after her little speech, Bella could tell how desperately her friend loved her daughter. She smiled thinking of just how much of good a friend Alice was to her.

"Okay, calling Charlie's old house my 'ancestral home' is a joke. I spent like four summers there tops and as many weekends as Renee and his schedules allowed. I loved him and I know he loved me. I don't blame him for letting Renee leave. I wouldn't wish her on anyone. Of course, I didn't think we were a package deal and that I would be cut out of his life along with her. I just want something better for Tansy. If I had any clue what Jacob was really like, this would have never happened. I can't believe I fell for him and all his lies. For better or worse my ass! I'm thinking of getting that tattooed on my backside." Bella joked vehemently.

"Now _that_ I'd like to see. I'm sorry Bella. I shouldn't have brought up the subject. Let's talk about something else. Have you seen some of the new fabrics that are out for this summer?" Alice and Bella fell into a comfortable discussion about recent trends in decorating and fashion for the rest of the trip to Cullen House.

At the last turn, Bella sat up straighter and pointed. "Alice, turn right at the next break in the trees. Be careful. She said if you blink you'll miss it." Bella said quickly.

"Bella, aren't you excited at all?" Alice took in her friend's casual tone as she slowed her car's speed down to almost a crawl, ignoring the honking behind her. "I mean, this is Esme Cullen's house, _the_ interior designer. And she wants you to design something in it! I know you've worked with her in the past, but this is her personal home. I can't wait to see it." Alice was practically bouncing in the driver's seat as she signaled to turn.

"Actually, I've worked with her enough to know that there is nothing behind the hype. Esme is as genuine as they come. Her husband is a dream, well, you saw him last year at the party. She just gushes over her family. I think she's looking forward to this as much as we are. She mentioned her daughter-in-law Rose before. I guess one of her sons just moved his family back here and her daughter-in-law doesn't know anyone. Who knows Alice; this may be the beginning of a beautiful friendship." Bella sat back with a sigh as she continued to watch for a break in the trees.

Just then, Bella received a text from Esme flipping her phone open to answer. "Hang on Alice; this is a text from Esme. She said to 'turn right at the teddy bear'? Teddy Bear?" Bella looked up from her phone and threw Alice a questioning glance. "That can't be right. Do you think she's been drinking?" Bella's voice was full of concern and she frowned as she looked back down to re-read her phone.

Alice laughed loudly. "No Bella, take a look up ahead."

"Holy crow!" Bella shouted as she squinted up ahead seeing a giant of a man step into the road. "Alice, stop!"

As Alice slowed her Porsche to the side of the road, she let out a small squeak. "Do you think it's even _human_?"

Bella looked at the man standing on the side of the road with his hands on his hips. He was smiling, all dimples and boyish. He was huge! She glanced back at Alice nervously, afraid to take her eyes off the giant that had stepped from the trees. The man was now making a circular motion with his hands as he stepped up to the car.

"I think he wants us to unroll the window. Do you think it's safe?" Bella asked apprehensively.

"Text Esme back and ask her if there is a hospital of some sort nearby. Maybe he's escaped from somewhere. Although I don't know of any hospitals like that in this area of Chicago." Alice said, trying not to make eye contact with the thing standing just outside her window. "Bella? I am starting to get really nervous. I need to go to the bathroom."

"Hold on Alice." Bella snapped a quick picture on her cellular phone. "I'm going to text Esme back."

"_Esme, does this belong to you_?" Bella fired off the text as quickly as her shaking fingers would allow.

"Just sit tight Alice. Cross your legs or something." A moment later Bella received a text back.

"_LMAO, this is Rose, the owner of that thing outside your window. U 2 R 2 fun. He's harmless._" Bella read the text out loud to Alice.

Alice and Bella watched the man pull out a cellular phone from the pocket of his track suit. Alice cracked her window so they could hear what he was saying.

"But mom, I swear I didn't do anything. I am just standing out here. I haven't even talked to them yet. Because they won't unroll the window!" Alice and Bella started to snicker as they realized that it must be Esme on the phone with the man. Alice opened her window the rest of the way as he sighed and hung up. He glanced at them again with his hands on his hips and his head tilted to the same side as his baseball hat.

"Right. I am very sorry to have scared you ladies. I'm Emmett Cullen. I am Carlisle and Esme Cullen's youngest son. I was sent to guide you to the house. Esme was afraid you might miss the turnoff." The man sighed before continuing. "Look, I'm sorry, but I didn't think you would scare so easily otherwise I would have sent my brother or my father. Just follow me up the drive alright?" He broke into a jog before either Bella or Alice could reply.

"I guess it's safe to follow him. At least we know Esme's family has a sense of humor." Bella sighed as she put her cellular phone back into her pocket.

"A very twisted sense of humor. I can't believe Esme Cullen gave birth to _that_!" Alice snarled just loud enough for Bella to hear.

Bella looked over at her friend. Alice could usually take a joke better than this. She must really have to use the bathroom, Bella thought as she stared out the window at the beautiful scenery leading up to Cullen House, as it was known in Chicago's society.

"Okay, this was totally worth the drive up here and being scared fuckless by this guy." Alice said as she looked up at the house that loomed above them. She pulled into a spot on the circular drive behind a huge red Jeep. "There's Esme!" Alice shouted the words as she undid her seatbelt grabbing for the door handle.

Sure enough, when Bella looked away from the greenery, she could see Esme Cullen standing on the massive front porch with her hands on her hips looking very stern. Her son was starting to approach her looking appropriately ashamed. As Bella opened her door, she could hear Esme giving her son a talking to.

"What were you thinking? I said to be careful and guide them in, not scare the bejesus out of them so that they never want to come here again. You better hope that they want to stay now. I swear Emmett; I don't know how Rose puts up with you sometimes!"

"Aww, Ma, my Rosie loves me just the way I am. She wouldn't change a thing about me." Emmett was all dimples and boyish again as he stood before his mother with his hands on his hips. "I apologized. I had no idea they were skittish or else I would have sent Jazz or dad."

"Skittish!" Alice yelled launching at Emmett. "I'll give you skittish Emmett Cullen!" Alice rushed up to the man and just because she came up to his elbows she didn't back down. "Do you _know_ what it is like to drive all the way up here just two women and come across someone like yourself in the middle of the woods? I agree with your mother, what were you thinking Emmett?" Alice made herself so familiar that everyone was taken aback. Emmett took a cautious step back away from the pixie.

"Wow, you're um, yeah, um, you're uh, _right_. Yeah, that's it, you're right." Emmett said as he rubbed the back of his neck while stepping even farther away from Alice.

"Who's afraid now Em?" A tall blonde woman stepped carefully onto the porch holding a squirming infant up against her chest under a blanket in one arm and a cell phone in the other as she bumped the front door open with her hip. "I was feeding Ethan when I heard the yelling start. I just had to come out and see who was giving you a talking to. You must be Alice and Bella. Which is which?" Rose looked from one to the other.

Alice stepped forward, glaring at Emmett out of the corner of her eye. Emmett took another step back. "I'm Alice. I'm sorry for scaring your husband, but he scared Bella." Alice casually waved her hand at Bella, causing her to snap her head up and pay attention at the sound of her name.

Bella snapped her head up. "Scared _me_? You were the one not making eye contact with him Alice. Esme, I'm so sorry. This has started out on such a wrong foot." Bella tried to explain as Esme held a hand up to rub her forehead. Just then two more figures stepped around from the side of the house. One was holding another infant.

"Someone scaring you big guy?" The taller, younger blond stepped up and whacked Emmett on the shoulder.

"Knock it off Jazz." Emmett shrugged away his brother's arm in irritation.

"Girls this isn't starting out right at all. I wanted to introduce you properly but Emmett took care of that. Alice, Bella, you remember my husband Dr. Carlisle Cullen, you met him at last year's Labor Day party? And these are our children Jasper and Emmett. This is Emmett's wife Rosalie and their children Ethan and Emily. Everyone, this is Isabella Black and Alice Brandon. They are going to hopefully help me out with redecorating some of Cullen House. Although after meeting you all like this, they may very well turn it down."

Carlisle leaned forward, holding out the hand not cradling the infant. "Ladies it's nice to see you again. Sorry about all the confusion. Um, Rosalie, I think we may need to swap out babies. Emily is getting mighty fussy." He started handing over the baby to Rosalie who sighed.

"Emmett, Ethan isn't done yet, I better go hide. This could get messy. Sorry girls, normally I don't mind feeding them in public, but if I have to do both at the same time, it's not a pretty sight and definitely not meant for public exhibition." Rosalie turned to go back into the house. "Emmett, bring your daughter upstairs. Mom, please don't start lunch without me. I'm really looking forward to some company."

Carlisle handed Emmett the fussy infant. "C'mere princess, let's go get some lunch." Emmett said eagerly, too eagerly. After earning a scowl from his wife Emmett quickly corrected himself. "I mean lunch for her, not me. Aww Rosie, you know it is a pretty sight and the public would just love it if you would…" His voice trailed off as he followed after her like a puppy.

Carlisle gestured to the swing for Esme to sit down. She gratefully accepted. Alice and Bella followed suit, settling on the wicker couch. Jasper sat on the hammock sideways. His legs were too long to let it swing freely so he rocked it from side to side.

"Never a dull moment with those four around." Jasper gave Alice a small smile; she returned it with a huge grin. Alice never went for subtle, ever.

"Well, at least I apologized to him for scaring him. I really am sorry Esme. Did you see the picture Bella took? Wouldn't you have been scared too?" Alice managed to sound indignant as she looked over at Carlisle and Esme in the swing.

"It's quite alright Alice; they get it from Carlisle's side of the family." Esme patted her husband's knee.

"Guilty I'm afraid. Emmett takes after my father completely. Now, Jasper and Edward may be tall, but at least they aren't built like Emmett. Still, at least we got in there somewhere, Jasper has my hair and Edward has yours." He looked lovingly at his wife.

"True, too bad we have no idea where those green eyes of Edward's came from, or those dimples of Emmett's." Esme looked over at Jasper. "Well, Carlisle, at least we know right where we stand with our Jasper."

"Come on Ma, you're going to make me blush!" Jasper rolled his eyes.

"Don't worry about it Jazz, is it okay to call you that? At least you know where your genes are from. I was adopted, so I have no idea where my shortness comes from." Alice's attempt to comfort Jasper didn't go unnoticed by Bella.

"I think the proper term nowadays is 'vertically challenged'" Bella said.

"Vertically challenged?" Alice snorted. "Whoever came up with that obviously wasn't _short_. I have been called short by someone every day of my life, including twice this morning when I put gas in my car." She sniffed.

"But you're not short Alice, you're just p..." Jasper didn't even get the word out.

"Say the words 'pixie, pint sized or puny' Jasper and I swear I'll break _both_ your kneecaps." Alice looked at him through narrowed slits.

"I was going to say portable." Jasper blushed as he looked at Alice and smiled when Bella mumbled 'good save' to him. "So, Alice, you mentioned that Bella took a picture with her phone? I'd love to see it." Jasper leaned forward in the hammock.

Alice stuck her hand out to Bella. "Give it Black." As Bella handed her cellular phone over to Alice, she stood up and walked over to where Jasper sat on the hammock. He stopped moving it long enough for her to hop into it. She almost made it too, at the last second Jasper stuck his arms out to catch her and pull her back farther into the hammock so she didn't land on the porch.

"Thank you. Just for that, I shall show you all that is your brother Emmett. Now, I have to ask you, would you make eye contact with this?" Alice held out Bella's phone to show him.

"Oh wow! No way, he's totally escaped from a hospital in this picture. I wouldn't have even slowed the car." Jasper laughed.

"I know right? That's exactly what I said. I told you Black." Alice and Jasper started laughing like they had know each other forever as Bella talked to Carlisle and Esme.

"Give it here for a second. Whatever the charges are for texting, I'll pay them for you. Edward has got to see his twin looking like this." Jasper took Bella's phone and punched in his middle brother's number. He added a quick line to it before pressing send. He then handed it back to Bella.

After a few more minutes of small talk, Bella's phone started to ring out Clair de Lune, she scrambled to answer it worried that it might be something to do with her daughter. "Um, you've got Clair de Lune as a ring tone?" Jasper directed the question at Bella. Carlisle and Esme glanced quickly at each other as Bella turned beet red.

"Yes, so?" Bella replied waspishly. "I happen to like my music off the pop charts thank you very much. Sorry Esme, this won't take long. Oh, wait, I think it's for you two. Who exactly are you two calling with my phone?" Bella asked as she handed it back to Jasper.

"Sorry, I had to send my brother Edward that picture of Emmett. It's priceless. I'll let him know it was me and I'll ring him back after I get my phone from the patio."

"_Who are you and what are you doing with my brother_?" The text read.

"_Chill bro, it's Jazz. Mom's lunch date is here, where u at? U r missin everything_." Jasper showed Alice the text as he pressed send. Bella shrugged and went back to her conversation with Carlisle and Esme.

"Sorry about that, but I never leave Tansy alone with a sitter and I'm pretty nervous. I will keep calls down to a minimum while we work though Esme, I promise." Bella said by way of explanation.

"Of course! How is she dear?" Esme asked with genuine concern.

"She's fine right now. I like her new cardiologist. Dr. Smith is so easygoing and very easy to talk to. I hated switching doctors but with insurance what else can you do? I was lucky enough to find someone who is so good with her." Bella felt relief even saying it.

"Bella, Esme told me about your daughter, not the specifics, she wouldn't betray your trust like that. But if you feel the need for someone to talk to, please don't hesitate to come to me for guidance. I'd be more than happy to help. If you are talking about Dr. Garrett Smith, you are very fortunate. He is good, although I don't know him personally; I have heard nothing but good things about him." Dr. Cullen looked fascinated as the medical talk ensued.

"That's a very kind offer. Thank you, Esme, for not making a big deal of it. Dr. Cullen, I may take you up on that. I'm sure I'll probably run into you at the hospital. Right now, I need to concentrate on some work." Bella said, hoping that she could steer the conversation away from herself and her daughter before the tears started to fall. She glanced over at Alice, whose face was full of concern, and nodded almost imperceptibly to let her friend know that she was ok.

"Maybe now would be a good time to call everyone to lunch? I'll go check on Rose. Carlisle, would you please show the girls to the patio?" Esme stood to go inside. "Bella? After lunch I'll give you the tour and show you what I had in mind." Carlisle opened the front door for his wife. "Jasper, I'm counting on you to make the girls feel welcome."

"Sure Mom, I'm on it." Jasper said without looking up from Bella's phone as he and Alice kept texting Edward and laughing.

"So, Bella, how would you like to join me on the patio?" Carlisle held out his arm for Bella to hold, realizing that Jasper and Alice were ignoring him.

"I'd love to. You and Esme have a beautiful home here. I hope someday you will come visit Alice and I at our place in the suburbs." Bella stepped forward to take Carlisle's arm as he led her to the patio alone while Jasper and Alice continued to entertain themselves on the front porch with Bella's phone.


	3. Chapter 3 Let's Do Lunch

**The Hole In Her Heart by Mick**

Well, Lola and I are back. This is going to be another sweet little story. It'll be a little sad, but not for long. Lots of happy times are included too and there's nothing too angsty, more like intense drama. Oh, and there is a happily ever after. A few things before we begin...

Stephenie Meyer owns all these wonderful characters. I promise she will get them all back, slightly worse for wear, at the end of my story.

Chapter 3 – Let's Do Lunch

* * *

"Bella, while this is not going to be an extensive all over remodel, I do want you to make it a priority right now. You know my work, and I know yours. You of all people should know how difficult it is to find someone you can work with, tolerate and not be completely annoyed by." Esme took a dainty sip from her glass of lemonade.

"Esme? From what I have seen of your house so far, there's not a thread out of place. What could you possibly need me to do?" Bella asked, sipping from her own glass. Briefly looking over to where Alice sat engrossed in a discussion with Jasper, she wondered what was going on between the two of them.

"Actually one of the rooms upstairs needs to be redone into a nursery. The boys have kept their old bedrooms, but I am afraid that the old college dorm days are behind them. If they are going to be bringing wives and children back, then it's time to update. Poor Rosalie is stuck sleeping in a room covered with sports memorabilia and I really don't like to think of my grandbabies being in there." Esme sighed as she looked dreamily over where Carlisle and Emmett were sitting, each holding a baby.

"Mom?" Rose addressed her mother-in-law with the single syllable word, causing Esme to smile at her warmly. "It's honestly not that big of a deal. We'll be finding our own place soon. Please don't feel like you need to do this on our account. We've looked at a few places, and I hate to tell you this, but I think we are looking to move out of the city." Rose looked over at her husband, her expression unreadable as she addressed her mother-in-law.

"Rose! I wish you would reconsider that. The boys all went to school in the city and they all turned out fine, for the most part." The three women laughed as they looked over at Emmett right when he sniffed the baby's butt to see if he needed to be changed. From the face he was making it clearly did.

"Watch him try to pawn this off on me." Rose said snickering and leaning over to Bella. Bella laughed in return almost choking on her drink. The afternoon had been too much fun, getting to know some of Esme's family.

"Uh, Rose? I think Ethan is hungry again." Emmett tried to appear casual walking over to where the women were sitting and starting to hand over his son to her.

"Emmett Cullen! He just ate! Now don't you dare try to get out of changing that boys diaper! It's your fault we had twins, they run on your side, not mine. Now, you go change that dirty diaper, which we can all smell from here and then I will consider taking Ethan from you." Rose's voice was stern and playful at the same time. "And don't you dare make a mess on that changing table." She added as a parting shot while he went indoors.

"Sorry ladies, but my pager just went off. Of all the days to be on call. Bella? Alice? This was lovely. I hate to leave, but I'm sure I'll be running into you again soon." Carlisle looked over at Alice and Jasper who were lost in their own little world. The two of them barely spoke to anyone else all afternoon. "Rose, do you want me to put Emily inside?" He asked as Esme stood to walk him out.

"No, give her here, she's the mellow one. Thanks Dad." Rose clearly adored her in-laws as much as they liked her.

"Esme, I'll try not to be too late. I'll call you if it's going to interfere with dinner. What time is Edward coming now?" Carlisle looked at his watch.

"He should have already been here; he was supposed to join us for lunch. I guess there was another problem at the site. Bella, I'll just walk Carlisle out and join you again shortly, please make yourself at home." Esme said patting Bella on her shoulder.

Bella leaned forward in her chair, peeking at the baby now cradled in Rose's arms.

"Rose, you have a beautiful daughter. May I?" Bella asked with her voice full of trepidation as her arms ached to hold her own daughter.

"Please do!" Rose said handing Emily over. "I love being a mom, but I didn't realize that there'd be two! Oh, I knew Emmett was a twin but I never thought it would happen to me. I don't mind sharing at all. I only have two arms and two bottles. I unashamedly take all the help I can get." Rose laughed as she handed her daughter over.

Bella inhaled the sweet baby smell. "Her name is Emily? She's so precious. I have a daughter at home. Her name is Tansy." She said rocking the baby softly.

Rose smiled and nodded. "Esme mentioned it. It'll be nice to have someone my age around that has a baby. Then you know what it's like to go through all this. I hope you don't mind if I call you sometime for help. Twins can be so, tiring! She's the quiet one though. It's funny, between Emmett and his brother, Edward, Em's the wild rambunctious one and Edward's the quiet sensitive one. Between Ethan and Emily, well, you can tell which is which. So, anyway, what exactly are you doing for Esme?" Rose asked as she stretched.

"Well, she's mentioned redecorating and lately I've been specializing in murals. Especially children's. I can sew well, but for some of the work Esme wants done, it's going to require fancier details than what I am good at. Alice is a demon with materials and designs. How old are the twins?" Bella asked still holding Emily close even though she was starting to fuss.

"Almost three months. I was hoping to get a break between feedings but it seems all I do is feed them. That's another reason I am always so ready to take the help. I am the only one who can feed them right now. Let me just go get a blanket to cover up with. Are you okay holding her?" Rose looked back at Bella as she stood up.

"No, I don't mind holding her at all." Bella shifted the baby over to the other arm as Rose left to find a blanket. It was different, to hold an infant that needed no special attention, no special help. Bella's thoughts were elsewhere, thinking about another baby. Was it possible that Emily who was three months younger than Tansy, weighed just the same? Of course, Tansy had a lot of setbacks. Esme had said that she should bring her with, but with Dr. Smith's advice ringing in her ears, Bella decided it would be in her daughter's best interest to remain home. If not for needing the money, Bella knew she would have stayed home as well.

Bella didn't even mind the squirming as Emily clearly started to work herself up for a battle. She thought about standing up to walk with the baby but decided against it because of her extreme clumsiness. She didn't really walk around with Tansy all that much for fear that she might trip. It was a good thing Carlisle walked her back to the patio because they didn't realize that there was a huge chunk of air laying on the lawn and she would have gone down if not for Carlisle's steadying hand. She started to hum to the baby, and then realizing that Alice and Jasper were ignoring her and she was alone, she started to sing.

"Bella, that is so pretty. You have an amazing voice." Rose complimented, closing the patio door behind her. She had a small baby blanket draped over a shoulder but flung it over an empty chair when she saw how calm her daughter was in Bella's arms.

"Bella's always singing to Tansy. And she just loves karaoke." Alice turned toward Rose and Bella to make one statement and then turned back to Jasper.

"Al, I do not! I love singing, I hate karaoke. I'm horrible at it. I do sometimes play the guitar at this little dive of a bar in our neighborhood, but that's strictly for venting purposes. Our friends own it and sometimes we help out there." Bella looked over at Rose to explain herself.

"I thought that was the idea of karaoke – to see who sucks the most?" Rose laughed as she told them about one of Emmett's many excursions to a karaoke bar.

"So, did you two always live in Chicago?" Rose sat back down pouring herself another glass of lemonade.

"Alice grew up in Chicago. I was always moving around the city and suburbs with my mom, being shuffled between two houses. Alice and I actually live in the house my father left me. Of course, it still needs some work done on it and it's definitely not paid for yet. But our neighborhood is awesome. People always watch out for each other. We've got some awesome neighbors huh Al?" Bella looked back over at Alice and Jasper trying to get her attention.

"Totally. It backs up to the woods and it's so cool. Bella had to be talked into it of course, but once I helped her see the potential she was totally on board with it." Alice looked back at Jasper, her face became all happy again as they started back into their own little conversation.

"Well, I was never really close to my father. When I found out he left me the house I was shocked. I mean, I loved him but only saw him as much as my mom would let me and he had a crazy schedule. I mostly kept in touch with him through phone calls. The neighbors seemed to think the world of him though." Bella shrugged her shoulders dismissively.

Esme joined them again on the patio and suggested they now tour the entire house.

"Oh, Bella? Maybe you should give Emily back to Rose? We don't want any, mishaps." Esme leaned toward Bella's ear so no one else would hear her remind Bella of her little 'trip' into the yard. "I spoke with Carlisle dear." Alice caught on anyway and laughed as Bella didn't know which way to turn.

"Here Bella. I'll take her and swap with Emmett. He's always better with the kids when they're asleep." Rose reached gently for her daughter.

After an hour of touring the entire house, Bella had to admit that Esme had some really good ideas and they all made sense, but she was getting antsy to get home to her daughter. She would have to ask Esme for the specifics of what she wanted done and talk it over with Alice later that night. There had to be a way to snag this deal.

"Esme, what time frame were you thinking?" Bella asked her as they walked slowly toward the living room. Rose and Emmett were close behind holding a baby monitor while Alice, perched on Jasper's back followed farther behind.

"Well for starters I definitely want the nursery done for the twins first Christmas." At Rose's interruption that they might not be living with them at Christmastime Esme held up her hand to stop her protests. "Please Rose, don't argue with me on this. Bella, when do you think you can start?" Esme looked worriedly over at her.

"Oh, start? Esme, I still need to draw up some sketches and then go over the fabrics with Alice. And we still need to find a company to do the bigger construction work. There are still a lot of details to…" Bella stopped as Esme cut her off.

"Oh Bella, I apologize. Maybe I didn't make myself clear. The job is yours if you can do it. As for a construction company, I only use one construction company on this house and that's my son Edward's. Have you ever heard of Phoenix Construction? I was hoping that he would come and have lunch but he was held up at another job site. You'll have to meet him again another time. I doubt you remember him from the party last year. At any rate, there shouldn't be a lot of construction, mostly it will be redecorating." Esme turned to hug Bella. "Please call me a soon as you straighten out all the crazy details."

"Actually Esme, if you really want to see some of Bella's work, you should come out to our house and see Tansy's bedroom. Bella has it painted to look like the woods outside her window. It's brilliant and will give you an idea of her more recent work." Alice practically chirped the words as she climbed down from Jaspers back as they continued talking between themselves again.

"You're right Alice. That would be a good idea. Rose, what do you say we go visit Bella and Alice? Say, next Saturday?" Esme looked over at Bella, who nodded her confused approval.

"I'll call you to make definite plans, as well as give you directions. Actually, I'll probably have to meet you at the edge of town and guide you in because it's so easy to get lost. Most GPS systems don't yet recognize our neighborhood and if you follow Google Maps, you will be driving straight into the wall that separates our neighborhood from the State Route 64." Bella promised Esme she'd call her later in the week.

"It was so nice to see you again Esme. You have a beautiful home." Alice finally moved herself away from Jasper for the first time that afternoon and reached to hug Esme.

"Thank you Alice, and if your outfit is anything to go by, I think your designs will definitely fit in at Cullen House." Esme returned Alice's hug warmly and smiled as they walked to the front door.

"Bella? I'll wait to hear from you. I'm hoping to have you meet with Edward by then also. His schedule is so crazy these days. Please feel free to go ahead and get started and we can fill him in next Saturday. I hope Carlisle can take the day off." Esme looked at Bella and smiled.

It was only then that Bella realized that Esme meant to have everyone over at their house and that she would be playing hostess to the entire Cullen clan. She hid her surprise and silently prayed for a non-threatening emergency at the hospital that would be sure to keep at least one Cullen out of the suburbs that day. Times were still tough for her and Alice and she was careful to watch everything that she spent. There was room for precious little 'extras' such as entertaining.

"Of course Esme, my studio is in the basement, so I can get to work as soon as I get home. Which brings me to one minor detail." Esme looked perplexed as Bella held out her hand to Alice. "Alice, if you are just going to stand there and stare at Jasper all day, can I at least have the keys so that I can drive myself home?"

"Coming Bells!" Alice replied as she finally broke eye contact with Jasper and reached for Bella's hand as they made their way to the car. As they pulled away from the house, Bella gave Alice a stern look.

"I could have used a little help in there from you. You were totally making fuck-me faces at Jasper and ignoring Rose and Esme. And then you offer to host a party? What was up with all of that?" Alice knew Bella was mad.

"Oh don't worry Bella, you've got the job. No, we've got the job. I've got a date with Jasper. Rose and Emmett are going to move out near us. The only piece I can't pinpoint is elusive Edward." Alice expertly steered her car through the woods and back on the expressway to go home.

To Bella's dismay, Esme Cullen called a few days later and accepted the invitation for all Cullen members. On Saturday, Bella and Alice would have a house full of people. Still, over the phone, she managed to fake her enthusiasm while throwing daggers at Alice as she played on the floor with Tansy. Even after disconnecting the phone with Esme, Bella held out a shred of hope that one or more of the Cullen cars would develop some kind of trouble that would stop them from being driven. It was all for nothing when the following Saturday, Bella worked up her courage and greeted Emmett and his family as they pulled up to her little house.

"Hi." She called from the bottom step of the wooden front stairs.

"Wow, this is something else Bella." Rose called to her as she exited Emmett's truck. "I love this neighborhood. It's so peaceful. And there are so many trees!" Rose gushed as Bella started walking toward them greeting her with a friendly hug.

"Thanks. We love it here too. Come on in, I have someone I can't wait for you all to meet." Bella couldn't deny it. For how anxious she was, she was looking forward to introducing her daughter to someone that wasn't wearing hospital scrubs. Sure, they had neighbors. But there was something so ordinary in the way Emmett and Rose were visiting that it made the whole event _extra_ordinary for her. Bella craved the norm and what most people took for granted, such as friends visiting with their children, Bella learned to be truly thankful for. Anxiousness aside, she vowed to truly enjoy herself today.

"Jasper and Edward will be along soon. He got directions from Alice so they shouldn't have any trouble. With two car seats, no one really wants to sit in the back seat anymore. Wow, Bells. Are those the woods you were talking about? That's really something. Can we go there?" Rose asked looking past Emmett as he held out a baby to her.

"Sure, I only have one stroller though. Did you bring yours? The woods have a small paved trail through it, and it's only about a forty five minute walk. Maybe after lunch we can all go. It's still cool for April, so bugs shouldn't be a problem." Bella took a diaper bag and slung it over her shoulder as she reached to take Ethan from Emmett.

"Dammit, we bring everything except what we really need. Oh well, there's always next time." Rose took another diaper bag and Emily from Emmett as he stood there with nothing left to carry. He shrugged following Rose and Bella onto the front porch.

Bella put the sleeping Ethan in the playpen on the porch and took Emily from Rose to put her into the bear-shaped baby swing that hung from the porch's rafters. "I had a friend install this swing out here for Tansy. I guess our kids will just have to learn to share at a young age." Bella said laughing.

"I know they are going to be great friends. I can't wait for the twins to meet your Tansy. Right Em?" Emmett was still staring around at the porch and the woods just past the house.

"Bella?" He said, ignoring his wife's comment. "Where did you find this place?" Emmett didn't try to take the awe out of his voice as he took in his surroundings.

"My father's old house." Bella said by way of explaining. "When he passed away he left it to me. Jacob and I lived here briefly and we started remodeling it, but then after he…well, after he left, Alice moved in. It was never my intention to stay here, but now I can't think of leaving. Helps me feel closer to my dad too I guess. I feel safe here. Like he may be watching over us, or protecting us. He was a police officer you know." Bella sighed as they continued to talk about the neighborhood.

"Would you two excuse me for one second?" Bella jumped up as she suddenly remembered something. She left the porch and jogged down two houses to a neighbor's house. After talking for a few minutes, she went into their garage and came back pushing an empty jogging stroller.

"Seek and ye shall find. Mr. and Mrs. Frank have this stroller for their daughter to use when she comes to visit. After lunch we can all go on a walk." Bella sat again on the porch swing folding her legs up under her while they talked enthusiastically about their walk later. Just then, Alice came stepping out onto the porch holding Tansy carefully out in front of her so that the little girl could see where they were headed.

"Bella, I can't find her purple MaryJanes. Did you do something with them?" Alice pouted as she held a sock-footed baby out to Bella.

"Rose, Emmett, I'd like you to meet my daughter, Tansy." Bella reached out to take her from Alice. "Alice, I think they are in the kitchen, I may have dripped pudding on them yesterday and I needed to wash them." Bella looked embarrassed as Alice narrowed her eyes at her.

"What _kind_ of pudding?" Alice asked quietly.

"Um, well, you know how much she hates vanilla, and there was no more tapioca. I kind of had to give her chocolate." Bella looked at Tansy, avoiding Alice's glare.

"I swear Isabella, one day I am going to just pack up, and me and Tansy are going to be divas in LA without you. Did you at least wipe them off? Please tell me you didn't put them in the wash machine!" Alice groaned.

"NO! I learned my lesson after the last pair. They should be just about dry. They're mostly for show anyway, she doesn't actually walk yet. Cop a squat Alice, you're making me nervous. We were just talking about going for a walk in the woods after lunch. Are you game?" Bella smiled and turned Tansy toward where Emily was swinging in her swing. Tansy just barely managed a wobbly headed smile and clapped her tiny hands lightly. Clearly she was entertained by another little person, even one that didn't really respond yet.

"Oh Bella, Tansy's so pretty. Look at that hair." Rose reached over and gently patted the soft, black swirls.

"She's a beauty. Good thing she looks like her mama. Now Ethan will have a wife just as hot as her mama when he grows up." Bella blushed as Emmett ducked from Rose's swat as he laughed. "What? You're the one that said they would all grow up being best friends. Seriously though Bella, how sick is she? I mean, except for that thing taped to her cheek, she looks fine."

"Right now she _is_ fine Emmett. But look at her size compared to Emily's. Do you notice a difference?" Bella leaned forward and handed Tansy over to Rose.

"Nuh uh. They're almost the same size." Emmett shrugged, clearly not catching on as he kept a careful watch over Emily's swinging.

"Exactly. Tansy is three months _older_ than the twins. She should be much bigger and stronger. Her heart is working twice as hard as a healthy one. The nasogastric tube in her nose is because she doesn't always keep her food down, so sometimes, when she's getting hungry and fussy, I feed her supplements through that. I need her to keep her food down and start gaining weight so that she is strong enough to have the surgery that she should have had already." Bella tried to dumb things down for Emmett as best as she could.

"So, uh, she's gonna be okay though right?" Emmett looked over at Rose who was cradling the baby in her arms and his big teddy bear heart melted for the little girl.

"Well, she was dealt two bad hands. Her stomach surgery for the vomiting can't be done until after her heart is stronger. And her heart surgery can't be done until she gains more weight and keeps her food down. Right now, she's on medication to keep her heart rhythm regulated and her blood pressure down. Unfortunately it also makes her tired a lot. I'm glad you guys were able to make it here today though. Today seems like it's going to be a good day for her." And for me, Bella added silently as she leaned over and knocked on the wooden rail of the porch so she didn't jinx herself.

"Hells yeah we're here. Gotta introduce Ethan to his future wife soon!" Emmett laughed and launched himself off the porch before any one of the females could smack him.

"I hope mom and dad didn't get lost. I don't know where everyone else turned off." Rose said a few minutes later as she started to pace with Emily, voluntarily giving Tansy a turn in her own swing. The rhythm of the swing was calming Tansy into a nap and Rose's rhythmic pacing was doing the same to Emily. Alice moved slowly to the playpen where Ethan slept soundly all by himself.

"Oh, Bella, put Tansy into the playpen next to Ethan. Rose, put Emily in there too." Alice ran back inside the house returning with a camera. After obeying Alice's order, Rose and Bella both looked at each other and smiled as their arms came around each other in a sisterly hug.

When all three babies were nestled to her liking in the playpen, Alice started snapping away at the sleeping angels. It was too precious a moment and all three girls started to tear up. Rose leaned back into Bella and Alice and the three of them turned into a heap of female goo. Just then Carlise's Mercedes pulled into the driveway and both he and Esme got out. Esme made it up to the steps first as Carlisle lagged behind, his cell phone pressed to his ear.

"Sorry girls, I don't know where Edward and Jasper have gotten to. They were following right behind us. Bella you weren't kidding when you said out of the way. It's so quiet here. I'm surprised Carlisle gets phone reception." Esme looked around and then noticed that the girls were wiping their eyes. "Oh my. Oh my goodness! Carlisle? You have to see this!" Reaching over to Alice for support, Esme's own eyes began to tear.

"I just left a message for Jasper. They must have not made that last turn…Oh wow, now that's a picture. May I?" Carlisle took his cellular phone out to snap a photo.

"What's all the cryin' for? I thought this was a party?" Emmett's voice boomed close by as everyone hushed him. The babies stirred but didn't wake as he pounded up the steps. "Awww, I'm such a sap. Ethan's future wife is going to be Emily's BFF." Emmett reached around and hugged his wife from behind as they peered into the playpen again. Rose was so overcome with emotion that she didn't even smack her husband for his remark about Tansy becoming their son's wife.

Suddenly Alice's cellular phone started playing 'You Are' by Jimmy Wayne. She left the porch immediately but not before the country twang of the voice startled all three babies and they immediately woke up crying. Esme, Bella and Carlisle all reached in and picked a baby.

"May I Bella?" Esme reached for Tansy just as Bella picked her up out of natural instinct.

Startled by the request Bella stared at Esme for a moment before surrendering her daughter. No one ever purposefully reached for Tansy. Every time Bella thought of this, her mind went back to the clumsy little third grader she use to be when everyone else was picked and she was the only one left, the last one picked for every sports team. She usually picked up Tansy first, determined that her daughter would never know the hurt of being picked last. Now, she smiled as she took in Esme's request.

"Of course Esme. Here you go munchkin." Bella smiled, handing a sobbing Tansy over to Esme. She turned back to the playpen to pick up another baby, but Emmett had already beaten her to Emily as Carlisle was already sitting down with Ethan on his lap.

"Well, I guess now would be a good time to go check on lunch. If you're sure you are okay Esme?" Bella looked over at her for approval and Esme threw her a knowing glare.

"Don't forget Bella, Carlisle's a doctor. If anything should happen in the next ten minutes, I imagine he can handle it." Everyone left on the porch laughed. Bella turned and asked Rose for her help in the kitchen since Alice was busy on her phone call. Just as they were headed inside the little house, Alice came back up the stairs in a huff.

"Bella, you have _got_ to control that pack of dogs! That was Jasper. They'll be here in about fifteen minutes. They got lost and while driving aimlessly through town they were apparently stopped by Seth on his bike. He's leading them over here. I am sure they were just given the third degree, and guess what? It's your turn to do damage control." Alice smiled sweetly as she stormed into the house.

Bella started to explain as she turned to the puzzled expressions on the porch.

"The dogs are actually a small group of friends. Actually they were Jacob's friends. They happen to own the local bar we sometimes, well, that we _use_ to go to. They've sort of adopted Alice and I after Jacob left. They've taken an um, liking I guess to Tansy. They're pretty overprotective but definitely harmless. They just don't like the thought of two helpless females out here with an infant. Seth is one of the less fierce ones though so I am sure that Edward and Jasper are fine." Bella ducked into the house pulling on Rose to join her.

"Alice?" Bella called.

"In the bathroom Bells." Alice answered. That's exactly where Rose and Bella found her primping before Jasper was to arrive.

"Well, at least Jasper gave you fair warning to primp before he gets here. Spill it, 'You are' by Jimmy Wayne? What's up with that? I sang that at the bar once and you gave me hell for singing such a sappy song. I can't believe you'd use that as a ringtone." Bella rolled her eyes as Rose snickered.

"Well, he um, set the ring tone himself." Alice blushed. "Bella, are you kidding me? He's perfect! He called me portable, and he loves to give me piggyback rides. He's so romantic and thoughtful."

"Face it Alice. Any man would love a girl's crotch rubbing on his back, even if it is through layers of clothing." They all laughed at Rose's words, but knew Alice's talk had a deeper meaning. She was truly falling for Jasper Cullen.

After trading a few more laughs in the bathroom, the girls went into the kitchen to have everything ready for lunch. Alice's head looked up. Bella stopped setting the table and looked at her.

"What's up Alice?" Bella looked worried.

"They're here; they're just turning at the fork now. Bella, you should go out there. Seth's with them." Alice nodded her head and went to the sink to fill a pitcher of water.

Bella pulled on Rose's arm and drew her out of the kitchen.

"What the fuck was that?" Rose looked at Bella as they moved to the front door.

"Alice sometimes senses things, it's best just to go with it – she's rarely wrong." Bella explained nervously.

"O-KAY then." Rose exaggerated.

"Come on, I hear Seth's bike now. This is going to take some finesse." Bella pep-talked herself as she stepped onto the front porch with Rose in tow.

Rose walked over to where Emmett was sitting with Emily in his arms. She reached over to the diaper bag and grabbed a blanket before she sat next to him.

"Hand her over Em. The girls are getting sore." She said loud enough for only her husband to hear. "I'm such a cow." Rose sighed through the initial little tug of pain as Emily latched on.

"Baby, watching you feed the twins is just the sweetest and sexiest thing I can imagine." Emmett leaned in to kiss his wife.

Bella reached over for Tansy and Esme reluctantly handed her over but then claimed Ethan from Carlisle. Bella went over to sit on the bottom step while cradling Tansy in her arms as she waited for Seth to stop the bike and get off it.

"Bells, you didn't send me an invitation to the party? I'm crushed!" Seth said, hopping off the bike as he removed his helmet. Walking over to where Bella sat on the steps he reached down taking Tansy from her. He gave Bella a quick kiss on the cheek before turning his attention to baby in his arms.

"Hey Seth. You know no invitation is needed; you guys just drop by whenever you want anyway." Bella stood. "But since you are here, I'd like to introduce you to some friends of mine. These are the Cullen's. Cullen's, I'd like you to meet Seth Black, he's one of the owner's of the local bar. He's also a cousin of Jacob." Bella explained before adding, "So, what are you doing here now Seth?"

"A distant cousin by the way." Seth said smiling as he nodded at everyone. "I came to make a delivery of sorts, I guess." He rubbed his free hand along the back of his neck and then gestured toward Jasper and Edward. "I get nervous when strange people start poking around in my hometown. I stopped them to ask who they needed to find. I was pretty surprised to hear that two men were looking for your house. You know Jacob wouldn't approve." Seth's eyes flashed toward Jasper and Edward. It was Alice who spoke next.

"Just so you know Seth, Jacob has no say in what happens in this house. He has no claim to the house or the people in it. ANY of the people in it." Alice's tone left room for no exceptions. She walked up to Jasper who kissed her before he place his arm gently around her shoulder. "Now, if you want to stay, that's fine. But just so you know, the Cullen's are our friends and if you want to stay in our good graces, you'll accept them. Don't you dare make us choose between them and you – it wouldn't work out well for anyone." Alice leaned her head into Jasper's chest.

Seth sighed, reluctantly putting his free hand out first to Jasper and then Edward. "Hi, I'm Seth. It's nice to meet you. Sorry for being such a prick back there. It's just that we tend to look out for everyone around here." At the men's insistence that everything was cool, Alice beamed and relaxed visibly.

"Seth, you're welcome to join us for lunch if you'd like." She said smiling, clearly pleased now that Seth had done damage control.

"Nah, I better go get the bar ready for tonight. Do you think you guys will make it?" Seth's scowl brightened considerably as he looked from Alice to Bella.

"Not tonight Seth." Bella said reaching to take her daughter from him.

"Alice, what about you and Jasper?" Seth cast a glanced over to where Alice remained joined to Jasper's hip and looked at her hopefully.

Alice looked over to Bella, who shrugged as she took her daughter from Seth.

"We'll see Seth, maybe we'll stop over for one drink." Alice leaned again into Jasper's chest and he nodded his approval. Neither Jasper nor Alice felt the need to speak their conversations out loud.

Bella looked over at Jasper and Alice. Next to them, standing awkwardly to the side, was Edward Cullen. Bella felt like she was punched in the gut as memories of meeting him on Labor Day flooded into her mind. He looked exactly the same as she remembered him and she stared as her daughter squirmed in her arms. He met her gaze and Bella found that she couldn't take her eyes from him. She carefully closed the distance between them as Seth got on his bike and took his leave.

"Hi, you must be Edward. I'm Bella. We met last year but you probably don't remember." She stuck her free hand out to shake his, which were jammed into his jeans pockets.

"No, I do remember actually. I just remember that she was inside you." Edward's words fell from his lips before he could stop them and only realized how inappropriate he sounded after he heard Jasper snickering. He reached his hand out to try to recover. "It's a pleasure to meet you again. Esme's said nothing but nice things about you. So, this must be the famous Tansy I keep hearing so much about." Edward reached toward Tansy to pat her soft curls, causing Tansy to turn a wobbly head in his direction.

The flush of Edward's words was just leaving Bella's cheeks as she lifted Tansy to get a better view of Edward.

"This is my daughter, Tansy." Bella said with pride as she awkwardly stared at Edward. Immediately her defenses responded to Edward's comment about Tansy being inside her. While there was no real ignorance over Tansy's condition, Bella's defenses still surfaced. She was use to public opinion of her daughter, but to hear it voiced on her own property was entirely different.

She smiled at him, trying not to let her anger take over control of her body as she realized that this was Esme's son. Esme, her possible employer. They stared each other down, Edward gazing at the tiny infant she held in her arms and Bella throwing daggers at him while he did. They found no more words to say between them and it wasn't until someone on the porch cleared their throat that Bella snapped out of it.

"Well, I hope everyone is hungry because Alice and I spent most of the morning cooking." Bella turned on her heels and made her way up the stairs and into the house as the long procession of people followed.

"Smooth Edward. Very smooth." Jasper said, his voice laced with sarcasm as he shook his head at his younger brother. Edward stood silently, staring at Bella's retreating form. "She was inside of you? Really? That's your opening line?"

"Shut up Jazz." Edward was clearly annoyed by his own lack of propriety and stared. He winced as the front door slammed behind Bella and then reopened again as his family walked through, each one casting him a glance that let him know his response was not too bright.

Before Edward knew what was happening, he was left standing alone on Bella's front lawn. He shook his head as he made his way slowly up the stairs and into the house, wondering just what it was about Bella that had him so off his game.


	4. Chapter 4 Words Of Admission

**The Hole In Her Heart by Mick**

Well, Lola and I are back. This is going to be another sweet little story. It'll be a little sad, but not for long. Lots of happy times are included too and there's nothing too angsty, more like intense drama. Oh, and there is a happily ever after. A few things before we begin...

Stephenie Meyer owns all these wonderful characters. I promise she will get them all back, slightly worse for wear, at the end of my story.

Chapter 4 – Words Of Admission

* * *

"Wow, now this is a lunch." Emmett loudly laughed as he took in all the food that the girls were still carrying in from the kitchen.

Alice had pulled a few of Charlie's old chairs from the basement in order to accommodate everyone. The little dining room was cramped at best and Bella was grateful that no one seemed to mind. She also silently thanked Alice for deciding on Mexican food. It was excellent and fell into all three of Bella's categories; quick, easy and cheap. All three were essential requirements in her mind for entertaining on the fly.

She loved to cook, but these days her main focus had to be her daughter, so finding time to participate in her hobbies was no longer an option. Bella looked amused when all the food was finally laid out on the table. There was barely enough room for everyone's own plate, and she had no idea how the table remained standing; especially once Emmett propped his huge arms on it then quickly removed them as he noticed it tilt his way.

As everyone else sat down, the adults took turns passing the children around the table so that everyone had a chance to eat. Without missing a beat, Rose handed Ethan off to Edward. Not being accustomed to handling children, Edward didn't know which way to turn. Even at three months, his nephew was fidgety and he was grateful to his twin brother when Emmett reached over, taking his son back. His lack of comfort hadn't escaped Bella's notice though and she turned away before he could see her staring at him but not before she caught Alice's knowing glance.

She was almost grateful for his unease at holding Ethan as it helped her to realize that Edward was uncomfortable around all children and not just hers. She smiled to herself as she ate, noticing that once again when Edward was handed Emily, he squirmed almost as much as the baby.

It wasn't long before Alice declared herself stuffed and reached over to take Tansy from Bella.

"Give her here Bella. You should really finish eating before everything gets cold." Alice held the baby close as Jasper watched, unable to tear his eyes away from the sight of Alice holding the tiny infant. It wasn't long before Jasper reached over to take her from Alice. He looked over at Bella for approval; she nodded, unable to hide her surprise.

If Jasper wanted to hold Tansy, and Tansy was willing, who was she to argue. Not ten minutes later though, Jasper stood up with an excuse to refill the water pitcher handing Tansy right off to Edward who had already handed Emily off to Esme. Bella glared at Alice who showed a sudden interest in the avocado halves that were once filled with guacamole. Alice glared right back, unaffected by Bella's show of emotions.

Bella's thoughts were murderous as she came to the realization that Alice and Jasper planned all along to hand her daughter off to Edward. She was tempted to say something out loud but when she noticed that Tansy accepted Edward's embrace so easily she stopped. She didn't fidget as his niece and nephew had, she simply lay there only occasionally batting at his chest as he cradled her in his arm. Bella caught him glance down every few seconds at the infant in his arms as if he couldn't believe that he was able to hold her. It seemed as if he was expecting her to do something, such as cry, but that never happened. Bella's heart melted as she glanced over at him but the softness didn't stay long, it rarely did.

Her heart ached when she realized that it should have been Jacob sitting there across the table from her, holding their daughter. She snapped herself out of the daydream with a quiet snort. Her life was rooted in reality now. Fantasies and childhood dreams held no part in it. As Edward reached with his free hand to pick up his glass of water, Tansy let out a huge sigh, causing both Alice and Bella to instantly center their attention on her.

Noticing where their gazes went, Jasper followed suit as he sat back down and stared at Edward as if waiting for something to happen. Edward quietly drank down his water, unaware that he was being watched. It didn't take long for the others, everyone except Emmett, to stop eating and stare at Edward as he sat holding the baby. He eventually felt everyone's eyes on him and stopped mid-sip to look around the table.

"What? Do I have something on my shirt?" He said as he held the water glass right over Tansy. He glanced down at his shirt and caught the adoring gaze of Tansy Black staring back at him. Bella caught it too but it was Alice that spoke first.

"No Edward, it's just that usually Tansy is much more lethargic. She's not usually this awake and especially not with strangers." Alice tilted her head regarding him with awe.

Edward glanced down nervously slowly putting the water glass back on the table. "Am I doing something wrong?"

"No, nothing wrong at all!" Bella answered as she cocked her head to the side to take him in. What did her daughter see in Edward that she herself had missed?

The moment was short lived though as Tansy's next move was a grasp to her face and a swift yank on her tube. Knocking over her chair Bella was on her feet as the tube came sliding out among a series of coughs and gags from the baby. Alice groaned and put her head in her hands as Bella swiftly made her way around the table grabbing Tansy from Edward before heading toward the bedroom with her.

"What a little minx she is." Alice said tossing her napkin down on the table and crossing her arms as she fell back into her chair. "Just when her mama is starting to enjoy herself and feel normal, she goes and dislodges her feeding tube." Alice shook her head sadly sighing as Jasper reached over to give her a hug.

"Was I holding her wrong?" Edward's voice sounded worried as he looked around the table. He wasn't sure who to look to for answers. His first glance was at Rose, cradling her own daughter close to her. His sister-in-law shook her head sadly and threw Alice a questioning look.

"No Edward. It's not the first time she's pulled it out, and it certainly won't be the last. It's just that Bella forgets that I am here, and that she has friends as well as other people that she can depend on. Jacob really did a number on her when he walked out." Alice said bitterly as she reached for the water Jasper placed in front of her. She swished it around, wishing it were something stronger.

"Should I go offer assistance?" Carlisle was wiping his mouth with his napkin and was just about standing before Alice could get the words out.

"There's no need Dr. Cullen. Bella's a pro at putting it back in. Thanks for the offer though." Alice smiled warmly at Jasper's father.

"Carlisle. Alice, please just call me Carlisle." Carlisle replied to her as he folded his hands in front of him. He smiled over at his son, clearly approving of his girlfriend. Esme looked at her husband then around the table, clearly the fixer of everything that was broken, she tried to heal everyone's unease.

"I have an idea, why don't Carlisle and I stay behind, watch the babies while you all go have fun with Bella and Alice's friends tonight at the bar?" Esme said as she took in her son Edward's guilty look.

"Not gonna happen Esme." Alice shook her head sadly. "Bella definitely won't be leaving Tansy's side anytime soon after this little stunt. Don't worry Edward, you did nothing wrong. But Tansy has to have that tube in so Bella can supplement her diet." She pushed food around on her plate absently but never took in another bite. Casual talk continued around the table before Bella returned carrying her daughter offering a string of apologies for leaving so abruptly.

"She sure knew what she was doing. I couldn't get it back in so she's going to have to wait until tomorrow when we see Dr. Smith." Bella held Tansy up toward the ceiling and shook her gently from side to side. "Enjoy your one night of freedom from the tube young lady. We'll just have to tape it down better in the future." As she lowered her from the ceiling, Bella blew raspberries on her daughter's stomach and was rewarded with a string of tired sounding laughs from her.

Bella glanced around the table and smiled to everyone, still offering silent apologies with her expression. As she looked at each one, her eyes settled on Edward's. His expression back to her told her that she didn't need to offer any apology at all and she smiled slowly, softly, and sadly.

"Bella, can we see Tansy's room now?" Esme asked as she stood from the table. Esme's voice broke Edward and Bella's eye contact when Bella turned slightly to address Esme directly.

"Of course, the light is perfect in there right now. Um, Rose, you may want to come too; but don't forget this is just an idea. We can still go with whatever scenery or backdrop you prefer. That is if you really want to do it at all. Esme, please don't feel like you have to do this." Bella was careful to make sure she left them the option of not engaging her work at all.

"Oh, I can't wait to see it." Rose scooted around a few chairs as Alice reached for Ethan. The girls all walked down the short hallway towards the bedrooms leaving the Cullen men staring at each other blankly. Carlisle and his sons looked around at each other, shrugged, then silently went back to their plates continued eating as if nothing happened.

"Bella! My word, did you and Alice do all this?" Rose was stunned beyond words. She spun around the room with Emily in her arms as she took in the woodland scene throughout the entire room. She looked over at the window which faced the woods.

In a blink of the eyes, you could not make out the difference between the two. The room simply continued the picture of the woods outside the window. Bella blushed as she took in Rose's praise while waiting for Esme's assessment.

"Guilty. We actually started with just one picture. According to Alice, Tansy just had to have a Prince Charming on his horse. Then of course we had to add his princess." Bella gestured toward the wall where a young princess with Tansy's features was painted. Alice smirked as Bella explained the various pictures to Rose and a still silent Esme.

"It just snowballed from there. I still add little touches from time to time, or as the ideas hit me. Oh, and the birds with the banner was also one of the first things painted." Bella pointed to where two realistic looking birds flew with a banner between them that read 'Tansy Elizabeth Black' in bold letters. Esme's silence had Bella on edge and she tried to explain further, her words now coming out in a rush.

"Something like this might look too dramatic in your house Esme. I was trying to think of a way to have a bigger window in the room you want to use as a nursery to let more natural light. Babies love natural light. Of course, I don't want to ruin the look of the outside of your house by having just one window bigger on it. Do you have any ideas?" Bella looked over as Esme stared at the bright blue ceiling covered with fat, puffy clouds that looked like they were floating in air. She didn't need to wait long for Esme's reply.

"Bella, this room is magical. I don't care what the outside of the house looks like. You are going to design and decorate the nursery for us. I'll be right back; I'm going to get the boys. They have to see this. Edward will have to be involved in the discussion of the window anyway; if anyone would know of a way, it's him." Esme left the room quickly and returned with the men following her.

Bella placed Tansy in her crib tucking a soft blanket around her little form. She reached to wind up the mobile that hung overhead and just as it started to softly play, she turned to address Edward.

"Edward, I was just talking to your mother about possibly putting a bigger window in the room that she wants to use as the nursery. But, I don't want to ruin the outside look of the house or affect anything structural. The window in here used to be much smaller, but we enlarged the length so that it still lines up with the other windows from the outside and lets in much more natural sunlight. Any ideas?" Bella put her hands on her hips as she started to talk shop with the adults.

"Honestly, using one of the spare bedrooms limits you because they all face the same direction. It would be easier to use the corner den on the second floor as a nursery. Then there'd be no problem adding another window on the western-facing wall. Which room were you thinking of using?" Edward walked over to the wall that held the window peering outside before turning to face his mother and Bella with his hands on his hips. Bella automatically turned away from his gaze to face Esme.

"Well, I was thinking of yours or Jasper's old bedroom actually. But it makes sense to use the den now that I think of it. It'll be much larger and all the future grandbabies can use it as well then." Esme glanced around, not so subtly, at her two unmarried sons. Carlisle, saying nothing just stood behind his wife with his hands on her shoulders, staring at Edward and Jasper.

Edward looked sharply back at his parents with a warning glare while Jasper, refusing to look uncomfortable simply smiled, encircling Alice's waist as she held a content Ethan. Alice leaned back into his arms, not caring about the awkward angle his body was in since she was so short. To them, it just felt right.

"Well, I wouldn't feel right about putting a forest in the middle of your home. Here it just blended into the surroundings outside. It was almost by accident that it happened that way, adding items piece by piece. Have you thought about a scene or background you'd like?" Bella tried to get ideas out of Esme.

"No, I hadn't thought that far ahead. And, to be frank, I really didn't think anything like this was even possible. How about if I have Edward start with the window and clearing out the room? Once it is ready to be worked on, you will have to come back over and then we can have a brainstorming session in the room itself?" Esme walked over toward the window to stare out with Edward. "How long do you think it would take you Edward?"

"I can have my men start on it next week. I'll do the measuring and of course I'll be there to supervise them. Once the order is placed for the window, it'll probably be done in a few days." Edward now looked over at Bella and smiled. "Would that work okay for you?"

"Perfect, now, who's up for a walk in the real woods?" Bella asked as she pulled her now fussing daughter from her crib.

"The logistics of this shouldn't be that hard." Emmett said, shaking his head as he tried to make sense of the chaos before them.

"Oh come on, there's three of them and what, two, four, six, eight of us. How hard can this be?" Carlisle looked at Esme.

"Well, clearly Tansy should go into the backpack, she's the littlest." Edward threw his two cents in like it was the obvious answer.

"Uh uh Edward, she's the littlest with the least muscle tone. She can't hold her head up enough in the backpack, that's why we never use it." Alice cradled Tansy protectively in her arms as she looked at Edward like he should have known that already.

"Well, how about if the girls use the strollers and Ethan goes into the carrier?" Esme said with her hands on her hips.

"Come here Emmett." The tone of Bella's voice left no room for negotiation. She was tired of trying to figure it out and just wanting to get into the woods left her feeling edgy. Deciding she didn't care who watched which baby, she roughly adjusted the carrier around Emmett and made it as snug as possible over his broad chest. "There you go big guy." She said, giving his now fabric covered chest a light punch.

"It's perfect Bella." Rose said as she plopped Ethan down in Emmett's pouch. Ethan kicked his pudgy legs squealing as Rose straightened out his pants that had bunched up when she slid him in.

"Cool, I got a built-in mini-me." Emmett started off on the trail with his brother's walking after him laughing at his silliness.

Carlisle and Esme looked at each other dreamily as they joined hands and started after their sons and grandson.

"Come here Beautiful." Bella said, reaching to take Tansy from Alice.

"Bella, I'll take care of Tansy. Go ahead and babysit the boys on the trail so they don't stomp into the native vegetation or something." Strolls in the woods were so not Alice's thing but she gamely endured them for the sake of Bella's sanity. She set Tansy into the neighbor's stroller, giving Tansy's own stroller to Rose to use for Emily.

"Thanks Alice. I would like to talk to Esme a bit more. Rose, if you have any trouble with it, Alice is a pro with all those buckles." Bella said as she lightly jogged ahead of them to catch up with Carlisle and Esme.

Stopping just even with the older couple had Bella rethinking her need to speak with Esme. They were so wrapped up in each other, neither one acknowledged Bella's appearance as they held hands talking softly to each other. Bella quickly realized that she was intruding on their conversation; their _very private_ conversation at that. Blushing, she made her way just ahead of them to a large rock and sat down quickly to untie her shoe. As they approached her, Bella began making a show of saying there was something in it while pretending to shake it out. Assuring them she was fine, she waved them on ahead of her.

Bella sat on the rock waiting for Alice and Rose to catch up to her. Seeing them at the entrance of the woods she realized that she had a few moments alone so she quickly took in the quietness. She focused her eyes on Carlisle and Esme's retreating backs and closed off her peripheral vision to concentrate on just them.

The woods around her continued to breathe, birds flying, insects buzzing, chipmunks and squirrels everywhere. But Bella paid no attention to any of it. She smiled sadly at their backs, realizing that she had that kind of love once, but was unlikely to find it again.

Then she formed her next thought. She realized that she never really had that kind of love with Jacob. The kind of intimacy that had people wanting to be in her presence, as she wanted to be in Esme's. The woman's very nature gave off calming waves of confidence and warmth, it was no wonder Carlisle fell head over heels for her and never let her go. The brief moment of intimacy that Bella had witnessed when she intruded on them helped her to realize that the kind of love she and Jacob had shared was on the opposite end of the spectrum from the kind Dr. and Mrs. Carlisle Cullen shared. She blushed rethinking of the conversation that she overheard and looked back down at the shoe in her hand to take her mind off them.

Shaking off her daydream of the perfect couple, Bella laughed when Alice and Rose finally made it to her. She quickly tied her shoe and stood up, joining them as they continued to crawl at a snail's pace, the babies completely content in the strollers, just taking in the surroundings.

"Bella, what were you thinking about just now? We're in the woods for crying out loud, how could you possibly become that flushed out here?" Alice's voice seeped with curiosity.

"I bet I know what it was. You overheard them talking didn't you?" As Bella's skin continued to redden, Rose laughed. "I knew it! Those two are so lovey dovey it's ridiculous. Even after all these years, it's like they live in their own private bubble or something."

"It's just so sweet that after all these years they can still be that much in love. I didn't even last two years and I still don't know what I did wrong." Bella drew her legs up onto the boulder resting her chin on her knees. She turned her head sideways to take in Alice and Rosalie. "It's just that when I think of my future of being alone? I can deal with it. But Tansy deserves so much more than me. I feel like a big, fat, failure and she's the one that has to suffer with me as a single parent. Why couldn't Jacob love me enough to stay?" Bella's voice sounded so pitiful that Alice set the brake on the stroller and leaned against the rock to hold her.

"Aww, Sweetie. I will never tell you 'I told you so' about Jake. It's his loss, but I will tell you what went wrong. You are so loving and giving; you gave him one hundred percent and that should have been enough. But then you two created that magnificent creature over there." Both Alice and Bella looked over to where Rose was squatted down by the stroller playing with Tansy. "It's not your fault that she just needs a little extra attention right now. And you give her that, one hundred and ten percent, because she needs you to survive Bella. Jacob needed you only to stroke his own ego but when you started putting your daughter first, that's when he started to pull away. Don't you see? You were so giving and loving to him that you didn't see how selfish he was to you."

Alice reached up to brush Bella's hair softly away from her face. Bella sat, still smiling sadly as she looked at her daughter. She finally turned her face back to face her friend and took a deep breath to compose herself. Straightening up, she leaped down from the rock.

"What kind of a man gets jealous over his own child? Who leaves their daughter just when she needs her daddy the most?" Bella bitterly spoke the words, causing Rose and Alice to both stare at her in awe. "Seriously? Rose, I bet Emmett would never leave you or the twins if they got sick." Bella wasn't exactly sure where she was going with the analogy but she stood there with her hands on her hips as if expecting her to really answer.

"Bella, it's not fair for me to say anything. I didn't know Jacob. But to be honest, hearing what I have about him, I'm not sure I ever really want to meet him. And it's probably best if he never meets Emmett, he's still riding high on the whole 'daddy' thing. I'm not so sure he would be able to restrain himself from teaching your husband a thing or two." Rose's temper was almost visible on her face as her eyes flashed at the mere thought of being in Bella's position; left to care for her children alone because Emmett would decide she wasn't devoted enough to his needs.

"But _how_? You said he's high from being a daddy." Bella squinted at Rose saying the words in an accusing manner before softening her voice. She looked around the space at the three of them, making sure no one else could hear. As she continued to speak, she jabbed herself in the chest. "I want to know how it's possible that someone can just leave. If I could understand it then maybe I could accept it, but I can't. How come you get it and I don't? How come Emmett can accept that you split your time between two children and that he now comes in third in your life? How is it fair that I couldn't even manage to have Jacob accept being second in my life? It's not like it was another man, it was his daughter, his very own flesh and blood for crying out loud!"

At Bella's stifled groan Alice stepped toward her slowly. She was being careful, letting Bella vent her anger out before she spoke to her friend. Looking up the path she saw that the others were stopping further in near the outhouses and that they were waiting for them. She glanced carefully at Rose noticing the frown on her beautiful face and knew she had to do something to make this whole situation right, at least for one day.

"Bella, you know, this is not the end for you and Tansy. You can't compare yourself and Tansy to Rose and Emily, or any others for that matter." Her eyes now shined with humor as she bit her lip, waiting for one of them to ask the obvious question. Her face brightened as she answered Bella's question of 'why not'. "Because men don't leave, they stick by you no matter what. You know what kind of animal leaves? Cowardly dogs, that's the kind."

The shocked look on Bella's face as she took in Alice calling her husband a dog made her blink several times quickly as she processed the statement. She glanced at Alice who stood straight and as tall as possible with her hands on her hips, daring Bella to say otherwise. She could only smile at her little friend as they stood in the middle of the woods, Alice looking like she belonged on a Paris runway and Bella feeling like she was standing in a fighting ring. It wasn't until she heard Rose's snort of laughter that she joined in, causing Alice to giggle and close the gap between them as she drew her in for a hug.

"Thanks you two, I needed that." Bella said from the muffle of their huddle before breaking away then returning to her daughter's stroller to continue their walk.

"So Edward? Want to tell me what made you jam your foot so far into your mouth back there?" Jasper stuffed his hands into his jeans pockets making a mental note of how empty his arms felt when he couldn't be holding or touching Alice. Looking back at the three women as they made their way toward them, he smiled in her direction, even knowing that she would never see from that distance.

"Dunno what you're talking about Jasper." Edward played stupid as he looked at his brother, clearly uncomfortable with being questioned.

"Don't give me that. You've never been awkward in front of a girl before, _ever_." Jasper enunciated the last word as he leaned closer to Edward to emphasize it. "You want to let us in on it?"

"Let you in on what, exactly?" Edward's annoyed voice was just loud enough that his parents and Emmett now joined in.

"We all heard you. I mean, come on…you actually commented on the kid being inside her?" Emmett's voice made the innocent comment sound like a sexual innuendo.

"Your brothers are right Edward." Esme walked up to hug her son. "What happened to that smooth, suave bit of 'Cullen confidence' that your father so wisely taught you to use? Did you not learn anything?"

"You know, you all could be a bit more supportive instead of ganging up on me." Edward managed to look hurt as he glanced at them all before he finally let his gaze fall onto his father.

"Son, you know we've been supportive of every decision you have ever made in your life. Every girlfriend you brought home we approved of even when we knew better. When you decided you didn't want to be a doctor anymore and left medical school, we supported that. We fought against it, but still in the end we supported the fact that it was ultimately your own decision." Carlisle stared at Edward, his face growing more stern. "I remember having a little talk with you last year, around Labor Day if you recall."

"Yeah, I remember Dad. Your point is?" Edward put his hands in his pockets rocking slightly on his feet, clearly uncomfortable with his father remembering the comments he made upon first meeting Isabella Black.

"I remember then that you were quite taken with a certain brunette. Clearly the months that have passed have not lessened that any. All I am saying is to be careful, Isabella does not need any more emotional baggage right now. She is still married, like it or not, to Jacob Black and through her daughter, she will always have that tie to him." Carlisle stepped forward and embraced his son. "Edward, son, we love you. We will support you no matter what, we always have. All we are asking is that you tread very carefully here. That's all."

Esme reached her hand out allowing her husband to step into her embrace. As she placed her arm around his waist, she looked back at their son and smiled. "Just do the right thing Edward. You always do."

As the women approached with the strollers, the group fell into different configurations while they finished the path. At one point, Bella found herself walking with Esme as she pushed Tansy's stroller. She wasn't sure when it exactly happened but suddenly Edward was on her other side, almost brushing against her on the narrow trail. He made no sound whatsoever, but just walked silently next to her as she conversed with Esme about the upcoming project.

He didn't feel the need to direct the conversation around himself, to make others feel like he was so important. He allowed Bella and Esme talk about their plans for the room; he just listened to them, only jumping in with an occasional thought or idea when appropriate. Even Bella had to admit that his ideas were good. Edward never once made any disparaging remark to Bella about the project or changed her ideas commenting that his way would be better. She was prepared for it, but it never happened. Edward stayed silent, even after Esme left them and Bella was left walking alone with him and her daughter. She found it oddly comforting.

When he finally did speak to her, he said words she never thought she would hear a man say.

"Bella, I want to apologize for the remark I made when we met earlier at your house." Edward turned to slightly face her while they walked.

"It's alright Edward. It was no big deal really; I just got a little too defensive. I tend to do that where she is concerned." Bella nodded her head toward the stroller in front of her. "You see, I'm use to people making their remarks about her. The general public seems to think it's socially acceptable to comment on her condition."

"Well, I don't know enough about it to comment on it. But I do think, in fact I know, it wasn't that little girl that had me tongue tied back there." Edward stopped and looked around them to make sure no one else was near.

"Well, hearing it in public is one thing but hearing it on my own front lawn was…wait. Edward, what do you mean by it wasn't her? Most people flip when they see how small she is and see the tube in her nose." Bella's eyes furrowed in confusion but Edward couldn't tell if she was deliberately making him say they words to make him suffer or if she truly didn't understand the power she held over him.

"No, it definitely wasn't the nasogastric tube." Edward decided he would tell her at a later date about his ambitions to be a doctor. Instead, he let his words sit in the air around them so she would know he could speak her language even if it was laced with big words. "People's general acceptance of others with disabilities is ignorant at best, and that goes for any disability. She doesn't make me uncomfortable at all."

"Okay, then what was that comment you made all about? You know, the one where you could remember her being inside me?" Bella laughed before she realized that Edward's own awkwardness was on par with a disability and she had just committed the exact same crime that she accused other people of.

"This isn't coming out right at all. It's not your daughter that has me tongue tied Bella. It's you." Edward pointed at Bella but just as he said the words, they heard a collective gasp around them.

Had they not been so wrapped up in each other's presence and their own conversation, Edward and Bella would have been more aware of their surroundings. Neither one realized when they had stopped walking and were blocking the entire path from the others. They now found themselves surrounded by Edward's family and Bella's friend, all of who heard Edward's admission that it was she that made him nervous.

Bella took in the smiles of the people surrounding them. Her eyes immediately found Alice who was planted directly in front of Jasper. She practically hopped as she stood there; clapping her hands excitedly in front of her while Jasper rested his hands on her shoulders. Bella's mouth fell open as she took in the gravity of Edward's words and all their reactions. She then looked over at Edward who stood opposite from her on the path. He had one hand on his hip and the other was rubbing the back of his neck, looking every bit as embarrassed as Bella.


	5. Chapter 5 Words Of Omission

**The Hole In Her Heart by Mick**

Well, Lola and I are back. This is going to be another sweet little story. It'll be a little sad, but not for long. Lots of happy times are included too and there's nothing too angsty, more like intense drama. Oh, and there is a happily ever after. A few things before we begin...

Stephenie Meyer owns all these wonderful characters. I promise she will get them all back, slightly worse for wear, at the end of my story.

Chapter 5 – Words Of Omission

I'm not sure how to go about answering all the reviews...My responses aren't recorded anywhere so I have to wonder if anyone cares if I respond or not? I respond to all my reviews on Twilighted, but everyone is able to see those reviews. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. For the record, I LOVE them, and I wouldn't mind answering them, if you guys want, I mean, I don't have to. I just don't know if you guys want me to respond? For what it is worth, I appreciate all the reviews and they make me smile. Thank you very much for each and every one of them.

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"Bella, how is Tansy doing today?" Carlisle asked the question as he took the infant car seat from her hands, placing it safely on the living room floor before embracing Bella in a hug.

Bella sighed, grateful to finally be at their destination. After hugging Carlisle she turned around to take a couple of bags from Edward as they entered the Cullen house.

"She's fussy today that's for sure." Edward's voice had a light laugh to it but Bella still elbowed him playfully as Carlisle asked him 'Bella or Tansy'?

"Play nice or I'll put you in a corner!" She replied to Edward, giving him what she hoped was a stern look before turning her body to face Carlisle. "_She_ is fussy today. She cried the entire way here and only just settled down in the driveway when she saw Edward's face." Bella managed to avoid looking at Edward's smirk as she admitted to the words he had spoken.

Over the past few weeks, Edward had taken his family's warning to heart, treading slowly and carefully where Bella was concerned. He never intruded fully into her life, preferring instead to hang out in the background, and just being there for her when needed. It seemed to be working as he anticipated when she might need help, knowing that Bella would never come right out and ask for it.

He had spoken more to Alice and Jasper, convinced that if he asked Bella directly he would receive the standard 'I'm fine' from her. He could depend on Alice and Jasper more for the honest details, which was how he found out that Bella would be arriving at his parent's house today to start drawing in the room and decided to be there by coincidence to help.

"She has another appointment in two more weeks. If she remains healthy between now and then, it's possible they could do the heart surgery as early as June. It would be so much easier if she would just keep food down and her weight up." Glancing at her now quiet daughter, Bella walked silently into the kitchen to get herself a glass of water and calm down before settling in.

Alice jumped up from the stool she was sitting on next to Jasper. "Bella's finally here!"

Bella opened her arms to her friend and was rewarded with a warm embrace. As she took in the scene before her she couldn't help but comment on it.

"Wow, full house huh?" Looking around at the table loaded with food she took note of everyone's presence. She noticed that Rose and Emmett were still even in their pajamas, casually eating and talking.

"Help yourself Bella." Esme stood making her way to a cabinet before pulling out a plate and handing it to Bella.

"Thanks Esme, but I really should go get…" Bella's words fell silent as she looked at Edward walking into the kitchen carrying her daughter; her heart melted. She had seen Edward hold Tansy before, but it never ceased to amaze her how comfortable he was doing it, and moreover, her daughter's seemingly easy acceptance of Edward's arms. She smiled as he moved the baby up to his shoulder before sitting down in a chair Emmett had pulled up next to the table.

"Problem solved. Now eat will you? We made plenty." Esme handed her a cup of coffee and nodded toward an empty seat at the table. Obliging her, Bella quickly found herself hungry for more than just the quick granola bar she eaten when she had left her house.

Talk centered on the work that Esme wanted done in the new nursery. Bella was pleased to hear that the window went in without complications and that she could start her work.

She was grateful too, for everyone's input as they spoke about the room. She nodded and smiled at their suggestions but silently she hoped that no one would be upset if she didn't use their ideas.

She knew that she was becoming close with Esme's family but she also knew how much it would hurt if they were to pull away from her, which she fully expected them to do. As she crunched into a slice of bacon she retreated into her own little world. After what she guessed was a few minutes, she looked up and saw everyone staring at her, as if waiting for a response to a question she didn't hear.

"Sorry. What was the question?" Bella took a minute to hide her face behind a coffee cup, glancing around to see who would ask it again.

"You really are in your own world aren't you?" Rose reached over patting her gently on the shoulder while glancing at her sympathetically.

That was when Bella noticed that the room had cleared some. While Jasper remained at the table, she noticed that Alice was gone, and that Edward's arms were now empty, leaving her to figure out that Alice must be changing her somewhere in another room. Bella tried to blink away the confusion while trying to think of the last topic.

"There was no question. We were just mentioning that since the weather is so warm, we might just skip out of the workday and go play at the zoo." Esme smiled brightly at her.

"Oh. Well, I guess I could put off the sketches and start maybe tomorrow instead if that will be better for you?" Bella tried not to let her disappointment show through, but realizing that she had made the trip all the way into the city for nothing left her slightly miffed. Why couldn't they have told her that before she packed up her stuff and hauled Tansy all the way out here?

"If it's okay with you, I'd like to just leave my supplies here in the room. There's really no point to hauling them back home. Will you be there all day? I can come back and work on it later if you'd like."

"What do you mean dear?" Esme's brow furrowed in confusion. "We will be there all day. It's a beautiful day Bella, we shouldn't waste it indoors. And by 'we' I am including you and Tansy. Believe me, I am as anxious as you are to start this project, but it's a rare treat when we are all able to take time off together. Jasper can work from anywhere and Edward just needs to call Ben. Even Carlisle is able to take a break today."

"The zoo? Today?" Bella repeated Esme's words while trying to let them sink in. "Tansy's been really fussy this morning. I'm not sure that she'll tolerate another car trip right now." Bella's nerves frayed just thinking of the screaming infant inside a confined space.

"Bella, Alice just went to go feed her for you so she should be able to take a nap on the way there. Plus, we're going to the one in the suburbs so it will be closer for you to go home afterward. If you want, Tansy can ride with us, no big deal." Jasper's smooth explanation left Bella looking for another loop hole.

Glancing around, she noticed the remaining Cullen's staring at her as if daring her to come up with another excuse so they could shoot it down.

"You guys do realize that none of the babies will actually get anything out of this right? I mean, they might when they're older but right now it'll just be us walking around a park filled with animals." Bella was on the verge of caving and began wondering if she was trying to convince them or herself.

"I know! It'll be so nice. We had such a good time at your house just going for a walk. Let's face it, I love the city, but we never really did that when our kids were growing up. I never knew that a walk could be so calming." Esme's face became a soft expression of contentment complete with a beautiful smile. "Besides, Carlisle and I just bought a membership there so we want to break it in."

"I guess we can go. I just need to make sure I have everything I need in the diaper bag. Can you excuse me for a moment?" Bella scooted off the chair and went in search of Alice, who she found in the family room repacking the diaper bag.

"Bella, it'll be so fun! I am so happy you caved. Why don't you and Tansy ride with Jasper and I? That way neither of us has to pay for parking." Alice's words came out in their usual bubbly effervescence and Bella could only smile at her friend as she watched her take care of her daughter like she was her very own.

"That's fine Alice. Hey, thanks for watching her. I was in my own little world back there. I never even heard her fussing." Bella crossed her arms, trying to stop the need to go take her daughter in her arms. Realizing that she needed a break was the hardest thing for her to admit. It felt wrong to her, as if she was pushing her responsibilities off on someone else. Deeper down, Bella knew the real reason. It made her feel like Jacob; like she was putting her own needs above that of her daughter. Even though it was only Alice, Bella still had a hard time letting go.

"Oh, she wasn't fussing. Edward suggested that if we were going to try for a fieldtrip that we should maybe feed her and she would fall asleep in the car. I figured even if she spits up a little, at least she had something in her." Alice said the last sentence with a smile and in a cutesy voice as she stared at Tansy in front of her on the floor. Bella couldn't help but laugh as her daughter smiled making a grab for her Auntie Alice's short, spiky hair, always out of reach of her tiny hands; where when Bella did that, her long hair was easily within reach and would always occupy her daughter.

"That's a smart idea actually. Did I pack enough for today do you think?" Bella crossed the room to peek into the diaper bag.

"You packed plenty. Besides, Rose and Emmett will have plenty of baby stuff, we'll be fine. Her sling is in there too so you won't have to hold her the entire time." Alice stood and picked up the baby. "Just grab the bag Bella, I've got her." Alice said, leaving the room and a confused Bella behind her.

Walking back into the kitchen, Bella noticed a flurry of activity going on around her. Esme was loading up the dishwasher as Rose finished up feeding one of the twins. Emmett came hopping in on one foot as he pulled his jeans up over his boxers, laughing a quick apology when he saw Bella blush and turn away quickly. Bella left and in the dining room came across Alice who was playing an intense game of peekaboo with Tansy as Jasper stood nearby. He held a phone between his shoulder and ear as he skillfully balanced a laptop with one hand while typing on it with the other. Bella caught on that this was indeed a last minute trip as everyone tied up loose ends of work before beginning what was to be a day of fun.

Bella made her way to the front door, feeling prickly and closed in with all the people around. Needing the calm that the outdoors always offered her, she broke away from all the commotion, deciding instead to wait on the front porch for the others. She went to her car and grabbed a few toys from the back seat for Tansy to play with in whichever car they would be going in, straightening up as she heard a voice in the driveway behind her.

She hadn't notice Edward at first. He was walking around silently through all the cars in the driveway with his phone to his ear. When Bella did notice him, he was nodding and weaving his way around all the cars with no particular pattern that she could pick out. She laughed as she saw him stop beside one immaculate pick-up truck and using the edge of his t-shirt swipe at it to remove some invisible stain.

Bella began walking toward the porch again as Jasper and Alice emerged from the house. Noticing that Alice was carrying the diaper bag and Jasper carried the car seat holding her daughter did nothing to ease Bella's guilt. She felt guiltier now that she realized she was foisting off her parenting duties on someone else besides Alice. She made a reach for the car seat with the hand not holding toys, but Jasper just smiled, lifting it easily above his head and out of her reach. Panicking, Bella looked at him, her eyes wide before realizing that he held it securely with both hands out of her reach and that her daughter was never in any danger. She relaxed allowing Alice to pull her away slightly as Jasper kept walking toward his car.

"What Alice?" Bella asked, preparing to fall into step with Jasper as he lowered her daughter and held the carrier with one hand as he dug into his pocket for his keys with the other. She immediately stopped walking, standing next to Alice as they watched Jasper continue toward his car.

"Meow! What I wouldn't give to be those keys and be in that pocket!" Alice's voice at Bella's side made her jump. When she finally deciphered Alice's words, she looked incredulous at her friend.

"Oh my gosh Alice! Tell me you didn't just say that out loud?" Groaning, Bella began to walk before Alice reached out again and stopped her.

"Well, look at him Bella. Doesn't he make your toes curl?" Alice's eyes became bright as she was sucked into an intent stare at Jasper's butt as he was leaning into the backseat to buckle Tansy in.

"Um, no! Get a grip Alice. Have things between you two gotten that serious?" Bella felt bad for not taking more time to talk to Alice about their friendship and having everything center around Tansy. She never thought, before this moment, to question Alice how things were going with Jasper.

"Yeah, but it's so fast. We both realize that though. We are trying to be careful and not rush into things, but geez Bella, I think about him all the time! Even when I am with Tansy." Alice pulled desperately onto Bella's shirt. "Sometimes I have her with us and I imagine that she's our child, I mean, these are _serious_ daydreams Bells." Her voice almost seemed panicked.

"Wow. Well, he is really good with his niece and nephew. Tansy seems to tolerate him too. I mean, I don't know him all that well yet, but he seems like a decent person. I doubt Esme would raise a slacker."

"No, he's a consultant for an architecture company and does really well from what I can see, but it isn't about money. You know the only reason he is still living here with his parents is because Edward and Emmett were both gone. You see how Esme is when she has her family around her. Jasper would do anything for his parents." Alice stepped slowly toward the car keeping her voice quiet, not wanting Edward or Jasper to hear them talking.

"That's obvious Alice. He seems really sweet. Are you sure though? I mean, short and spastic teaming up with tall and tranquil?" Bella regretted the words as she said them and covered her mouth, mumbling a pathetic apology.

"No, you're absolutely right Bells. It makes no sense at all. But then again, neither did you and Jacob right? But at least I kept my true feelings about him away from you. I want your honest opinion of him Bella. I only kept my mouth shut about what an ass Jake was because you were so smitten. I am not like you though. I couldn't make you see the truth about Jake but I do need you to tell me the truth about Jasper." Alice's eyes shined with unshed tears as she fumbled in her purse for her sunglasses.

"Alice, I am so sorry." Bella's apology became more sincere as she began realizing once again how much Alice meant to her and how much Jasper obviously meant to Alice. "Jasper is really perfect. He balances you out completely and you two complement each other really well. Just promise me you will take things slow. I mean, I think two of us walking around with broken hearts is plenty, don't you?" Bella tried to make a joke and Alice caught on.

"Aww, honey." Alice began hugging Bella enthusiastically, obviously moving on from the topic of Jasper. "That's the thing about broken hearts. They can always be fixed. After we get Tansy's fixed, then we'll get to work on yours okay?" Linking her arm through Bella's she pulled her toward the car where Jasper stood with his hands on his hips.

"I give up. I put it in there okay but I'm not sure what to do next? What did people do before car seats?" Jasper shook his head, not really expecting an answer.

"Here Jasper, I got it." Bella said, handing him the toys she still held in her hands. She crouched down and bent forward into the back seat of his car to show him how. "First you need to face them backward. Then the buckle goes around the whole seat like this. I swear she has radar and knows when we are going in a car." Bella fixed the seat and adjusted it properly, murmuring to Tansy the entire time to try to quiet her small whimpers that were just starting.

As Bella stood herself upright, she reached for the toys, taking them from Jasper's hands and quickly reaching back in the car to hand one to Tansy. The baby took it halfheartedly, not sure whether she wanted to play, or just throw down and have a full-on cry about being buckled into a car. To Bella's torment, she opted for the full-on cry. Looking apologetically at Jasper and Alice, Bella closed the car door, effectively muffling the cries.

"Lovely." She said sarcastically. "Sorry you two. Are you sure you're up for this?" Bella asked, eyeing them doubtfully.

"We're fine Bella, just get in." Jasper replied, reopening the door and laughing as the sound of Tansy's cries increased exponentially.

As they sat in the driveway waiting for Esme's SUV to fill up with the rest of the family Bella leaned toward her daughter, trying to quiet her. She jumped as she noticed Edward tapping on Jasper's window, not having seen him even walk up to the car.

"Got room for a stowaway? There's six of them and the baby gear takes up the extra seat." Edward looked for sympathy at Bella as she snorted from the back seat of the car.

"If you don't mind the noise level, sure." Jasper said, clicking the lock to allow Edward to get in.

Over the cries, Bella heard Edward's 'excellent' as Jasper began rolling up his window. She watched as Edward walked around to get in the car, sitting behind Alice.

"Sorry Edward. I didn't plan on any of this today." Bella almost had to yell the words to be heard. She had no idea what she was apologizing for or why. None of this was her fault, and yet her desire to please shined through as she thought again, of everyone except herself.

"Silly girl." Edward said just as loudly, reaching over to yank on a chunk of Bella's hair playfully. "It's my family's doing, why should you apologize? It was my mother who decided at the last minute to have everyone go out. We never used to be like this. We haven't really gone out like this in years. Only since Emmett came back with the twins did she really start wanting to do this whole family field-trip thing again."

"Well, there's that and the fact that Mother's Day is coming up too. None of us ever tell her no as it is, but it gets much worse around Mother's Day." Jasper all but yelled the words as he turned the key in the ignition to start the car.

As they began driving, Bella became more aware of Edward sitting in the backseat with her. His tall frame was folded neatly next to the car seat and although he gave no indication that he was squished, Bella scooted closer to her door tugging slightly on the seat to give him more room. Looking over at her, he smirked.

"I promise I won't bite her Bella. I swear it." Edward tugged back on the seat, pulling it closer to him. The movement caused Tansy to halt her cries for a moment and open her eyes. She let out a whimper that ended as a hiccup as she stared at Edward.

"I was just trying to give you more room." Bella said as she turned quickly from his face and busied herself with the glare that Alice threw her from the front seat.

"See? She likes me." With that Edward began talking absolute nonsense to the baby between them. Soon enough the cries subsided completely and were turned into soft laughs and giggles as the rich sound of Edward's voice caused Tansy, and in turn, Bella, to relax. She felt so much better that as Tansy gripped her finger tightly; she turned her head to lean it on the cool glass and closed her eyes.

She wasn't sure when exactly she fell asleep, she remembered Jasper signaling a turn and she briefly remembered entering the expressway but all she could clearly recall was Edward's soft voice and her daughter's even softer laugh. The next thing she knew she was being jarred awake as Edward shook her gently. Bella looked around, panicking as she noticed the empty car seat and still out of it from her nap.

"She's already with Alice. Come on sleepyhead, we let you sleep as long as possible." Edward said, answering her unspoken question as he reached over to unbuckle her seatbelt.

"Wow." Bella looked around at everyone as she stepped from the car. "Sorry for keeping everyone. I'm tempted to tell you all to go on ahead and I'll pay Jasper to drive me around like that. Best nap I've had in years!" Bella joined in as everyone shared a laugh.

"Okay, everyone have their buddy? I want us to stay together as much as possible but always keep at least your buddy with you." Esme's voice surprised Bella but she just smiled at the woman's words and then snickered with everyone else as Edward commented on her maternal voice.

"What are we five?" Edward asked as he and Emmett leaned toward each other snickering. He then followed with a quick 'owww' as Esme pinched his ear and replied that he was never too old to be put in a time out.

Glancing around, Bella saw that everyone had a 'buddy' except her…and Edward. Emmett and Rose hovered over the twins in the stroller. Alice leaned toward Jasper, with Tansy snug in her sling around her. Carlisle and Esme couldn't stand any closer together without being on top one another.

"Sorry Edward, looks like you drew the short straw. You're stuck with me like it or not." Bella, knowing that she made Edward nervous, and yet not knowing exactly why, tried to make a joke of it. As everyone began walking forward, she fell into an easy step behind their large group.

Once again, Bella was amazed at how comfortable she felt among the Cullens. Their easy acceptance of her and her little family had her questioning all she had known growing up with Renee. She found herself wondering what it would have been like growing up with Esme as a mother instead of Renee. She was pretty sure Esme had never burned a meal and then insisted that the burnt parts were more nutritious and that they would be burning more things in the future on purpose just so they could get healthier.

She would bet money on the fact that Jasper, Edward and Emmett never went to school with a paper unsigned or not having money for a fieldtrip because Esme thought it wasn't 'educational' enough. Bella thought back to her elementary school days and remembered that it took her until 6th grade to realize that she was better off just signing things herself, with Renee's name of course. She saw no point in bothering Renee with little details that were sure to be scorned at, depending on her mother's mood. Instead of getting herself upset, as she normally would at her childhood memories, she strengthened her inner resolve to give Tansy a better upbringing. More like Esme and less like Renee.

As they walked, Bella became lost in her little make believe world. She was aware of people talking and assumed that if anyone asked her a question she answered it appropriately. She realized that she shouldn't have chastised Alice for her little daydreams about Jasper when she was just as guilty of duplicating those same daydreams. Sure, it was a different Cullen, but it was the same daydream. She felt hideous for her earlier treatment of Alice and made a mental note to talk to her one on one later that night about her relationship.

It took Alice hopping up and down, handing off Tansy to her and bolting for the bathroom that Bella snapped out of her trance. She looked around and realized that they had walked half the zoo yet she hadn't seen a single animal. Now, holding her daughter awkwardly and blinking away her daydream haze, she spoke to their group.

"All she had to do was say so." Bella turned away, searching for an animal or something nearby to look at, coming up empty. She saw a restaurant with a pretty fountain and beyond that a huge open space that was at the center of the zoo. The building had no animals in front of it, so Bella didn't know where to turn.

"She did say so actually. About ten minutes ago. You are really in your own world Bella. Anything you want to talk about?" Edward came up behind her, having taken the sling and diaper bag from Jasper.

"I apologize. I keep losing myself in my thoughts. Edward, would you mind holding her while I put the sling on?" Bella took the sling from Edward as he carefully took the baby from her. She soon adjusted it to her own small height, not much different from Alice's and Edward opened the pouch and easily slid Tansy into the material.

"And you stay there until we say it's time to come out young lady." Edward said the words in a mocking voice while shaking his finger, causing Tansy and Bella both to laugh at him.

"Not a very effective punishment if they're laughing at you Edward." Emmett came up behind his twin and rubbed his head playfully.

"Not a punishment at all if I get to carry my daughter. I don't think anyone could consider carrying a baby as punishment." Bella thought on her own words before she realized that she could easily come up with two people. "Well, almost anyone."

Edward gave her a quizzical look as he stared at her. Shaking her head, she indicated toward Alice, now walking toward them and mouthed the words 'later' to him.

"Alice, I'm sorry. I was spacing out." Bella said as her friend joined the group again.

"That's alright Bella, we all get lost in our own little dreams now and then don't we?" She said the words sweetly, reminding Bella of her comments that morning in the driveway.

"We do. Point taken." Bella turned noticing that the Cullen's were making their way into the building and questioned Edward, having no idea what was going on anymore.

"Dolphin show. All you have to do is sit and watch. You really are in your own world. Bella, come on, what's wrong?" Edward brushed a stray hair from Bella's face and looked her straight in the eye.

She would have loved to pull him aside and tell him all the wonderful things that she thought he was. How good-looking, how everyone stared at them together. She wanted to tell him, but she scarcely admitted it to herself, so she knew there was no way to tell him, that she loved how he could easily calm Tansy down and make her laugh. She loved that he looked out for her and took his time with her, just staying in the wings and being her friend above everything else. Never putting any pressure on her and just supporting her. Instead, she chickened out…and lied.

"I'm just worried about how things will go with Tansy in the future. I keep looking ahead to years from now and then realize that I have to get her through these next few months first. I've just got a lot on my mind." Bella climbed the bleacher seats carefully as she spoke, reaching out to take Edward's arm when she needed to hop over a seat. She sat down directly behind Esme and Carlisle sandwiching herself in between Jasper and Edward, who was still carrying the diaper bag and stashed it by their feet.

"Bella, did Dr. Smith give you any idea of what the surgery will involve?" Esme turned and asked her gently, fanning herself with a map of the zoo in the warm climate. It seemed to Bella that everyone gathered closer, not crowding, but close enough that they would all overhear.

"Oh sure, it's easy. All they have to do is stop her heartbeat and place a patch on the hole, then restart her heart and voila, it'll be good as new." Bella's casual assessment fooled no one, least of all herself.

"But it's not really that easy is it?" Jasper reached over to put his arm around Alice's shoulder to draw her in closer as she started to tremble. There was no doubt in Bella's mind that Alice filled Jasper in on everything.

"No, of course it's not. But I'm trying to convince myself it is. She's already had a few episodes of heart failure. Each time she does, some of the heart muscles become damaged. Of course, no one can predict how much more damage it can take before it gives out completely. But the medications she is on help. They make her pretty sleepy, not to mention that they cost an arm and a leg even with the crappy insurance." Bella took a deep breath needing to calm herself down, not wanting to break out into an all-out tirade. "No Jasper. It's not going to be easy. But hey, she's got me, and Alice. And our neighbors, and Seth and the other guys at the bar. We may not have any family left, but we make up for it with friends in spades." Smiling, she reached over and accepted Alice's hug as she switched seats with Jasper to sit closer to Bella. It was awkward in the narrow rows of seats, and even more awkward as Bella was holding Tansy in front of her in the sling.

"Well, if you need any medical advice, you know where to find me. And if you can't find me, you can probably throw some ideas around Edward. I'm sure he's remembered a bit of his training." Carlisle put his arm around his wife's shoulder turning to face forward as the show began to start.

Giving Edward a puzzling look, she smirked as he threw her own words back at her. "Later." He mouthed as he began clapping in rhythm with everyone else, indicating that the show was starting.

After the show, the group began walking again. Alice was perched on Jasper's back as they walked beside Bella.

"What time is your appointment on Monday?" Alice asked as she lay her head down on Jasper's shoulder and looked sideways at Bella. Of course, with Jasper being so tall, Bella now had to look up at Alice to talk to her.

"Tansy's appointment is at nine o'clock." Bella blinked several times as she looked at Alice and pretended the sun was in her eyes. Looking away, she hoped her friend wouldn't call her on it. She did.

"I thought you said it was eleven o'clock, I was sure that's what was written on the calendar at home." Alice's voice was accusing.

"No. It's nine o'clock. I'm sure of it." Bella pretended to be interested in a sign for the pinniped exhibit and strolled over to read it.

"Liar!" Alice's voice hissed in Bella's ear, causing the tears in Bella's eyes to fall. They glanced around; making sure no one was around them.

"What would you have me do then Alice? Beg? Rob a bank? Sell the house and live in a rat infested apartment? It's the only way." Bella blinked, still trying to pretend it was the sun in her eyes.

"I just think you're rushing into it. Ask Esme for an advance on the nursery job. I've got some savings. As long as you have the insurance for six more months, please don't do this Bella." Alice pleaded with her friend as she peeked into the sling in front of her. "Do this for her Bella. Do you really want to put her on public assistance?"

"Do I really have a choice? Listen, the caseworker I spoke with said I should just apply for assistance. There's no guarantee I'll actually get help but I at least need to try. Alice, the co-pays for all the medication alone are just too high." Bella's arms were intertwined underneath the cloth of the carrier as she held her daughter and moved her hand under the baby's head, stroking it softly.

"And you really aren't going to ask Jake? I mean, for anything? I'm all for kicking him in the balls the next time I see him, but this is his responsibility too." Alice looped her arm through the crook of Bella's tugging at her lightly to pull her away from the sign.

"No! I can't. Look, even if I could find him, he's made it clear enough that he wants nothing to do with me. That part is fine. I've accepted knowing that I wasn't really good enough for him. The part that hurts is that Tansy isn't good enough for him either.

Look, Charlie did the best he could. He was a great father, as much as he could be for what Renee gave him to work with. I only hope that when Tansy gets to be my age, she realizes that Jake may not be much of a father, but he is her biological father and he dealt with her situation the only way he knew how." Bella slowed her steps as Alice began waving the rest to the group on ahead toward the path of the big cat exhibit.

"By leaving you both? That's how he dealt with it Bella. He left you. He's not dealing with it, he's running from it." Alice shook her head, disbelieving the fact that Bella held no hatred for Jacob, but just accepted it for what she thought it was.

Where Alice clearly thought Jake should be beaten for his desertion of his wife and sick child, she knew Bella thought of it simply as they weren't good enough for him.

"We all deal with things in our own way. I've broken down to you plenty of times Al. If this is how he's able to handle it, I can't make him see he's wrong. Given the same luxury, I might make the same choice." Bella stopped and pulled Alice to face her. "Alice, if right now, you were to say you would take Tansy for the next few months, get her through surgery and once she is healthy I'd be back to pick her up, I'm not so sure I would refuse that offer."

"The difference is you would come back for her Bella. Jacob. Is. _Not_. Coming. Back. Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?" Alice did her best to soften the blow of her words.

"Not for me, no. I know that Alice and I am okay with that, seriously. But he will come back for Tansy. How could he not? He can't leave her forever. No one can do that." Bella smiled slightly, trying to get herself to believe her own words.

"You're wrong Bella. That's exactly what my parents did. They left and never looked back." Alice's words hit Bella like a bucket of cold water and as she watched the tears fall down her friend's cheeks, she felt like she was punched in the stomach.

In the years that she had known Alice Brandon she had always made it seem as though it didn't matter, thereby giving Bella carte blanche to think it right along with her. After Bella had Tansy, she had no reason to believe that Alice would change her mind. She had no idea that her best friend identified so closely with her daughter. The idea that she never considered Alice's true feelings sickened her. And watching the tears fall down her face, knowing she made her best friend cry with her own ignorance, made the tears fall down her own face as well.

"Alice, I'm so sorry I never made that connection before. I mean, I didn't realize it before. No wonder you are so good with her. I'm so sorry Alice." Bella's own tears dripped freely down her cheeks as the two of them stood there embracing in the middle of the woodchip covered path until Jasper and Edward pulled the gently apart.

"Come on Alice. Let's go look at the minx's." Jasper's arm around Alice's shoulder left her with no room for negotiation as the women separated and now each clung to someone else.

"Bella? Want to talk about it?" Edward, mindful of Tansy's position in front of Bella held her gently and rubbed her shoulders softly.

"No." Bella answered his question with both spoken words and a definitive shake of her head before continuing on. "I feel sick. I never realized just how much Alice identifies with Tansy. I always knew she saw a little of herself in Tansy, but I never realized how much she identified with the position that Tansy is in." Bella began to tremble and Edward pulled her toward a bench, sitting down on it before pulling her and Tansy onto his lap.

"That's got to be rough. Poor Alice must be feeling pretty bad right now. She never knew her parents?" Edward rubbed Bella's back as they spoke.

"No. Or, if she did, she never mentioned them to me. I'm a horrible friend Edward. Everything and everyone I touch turns South. I'm so tired of all this emotional baggage. At what point do people finally break? Snap? Give In? Surrender? At what point do you say, I've had it and I don't want to do this anymore?" Bella wasn't really expecting an answer but Edward gave her one anyway.

"You don't get that choice when you have children Bella. You have to be there for them, not yourself." Edward chuckled at Bella's expression. "Keep in mind, I am only going by talks I've had with Emmett, I have no actual basis for comparison. But he's talked to me quite a bit about it. It's not just you, as a parent of a sick child. Just so you know, you're nothing special when it comes to feeling tired and drained. My brother has felt that, and both his kids are healthy. You don't get sole ownership over those feelings.

"_All_ parents feel an overwhelming need to protect and keep watch over their children all day, every day. He's admitted that he's tired and can be a grouch. I've seen him and Rose both snap at each other and I've seen my parents retreat when it gets really bad. But you never give up that feeling of need to protect them from everything and everyone. My own parents still protect us from things they think we can't handle. From what I understand, that feeling doesn't go away, no matter how healthy or sick your children are."

Bella had no words of retaliation. She sat quietly in Edward's arms while he comforted her and she in turn comforted her daughter. There was no need for words as she let his hand wander in slow circles on her back. She smiled, staring at the magnificent creature she held and when she was done with the emotional breakdown she looked up to see Alice and Jasper standing in front of them again, with the rest of the family no too far off.

"We good here?" Alice seemed to have completely recovered from her little show of emotion and stood, hands on hips waiting for Bella to finish hers.

"We're good." Bella blinked a few times to let Alice's words sink in. Laughing she stood and flung her arms around her. If Alice was done with their argument, Bella wasn't about to upset her again. They continued walking side by side for a bit, neither one saying but both of them wondering. Bella had a notion that if she were to ask, Alice herself couldn't even identify the trigger that set both of them off and caused their fight.

"So Bella, maybe Tuesday then you can come and start on the room then?" Reaching around Bella's shoulder to pull her into a hug, Esme Cullen pulled Bella away from Edward and Alice.

"Tuesday sounds good Esme, I'll be there." Bella's reply came with a shy glance at Edward and she inwardly wondered why she felt it necessary to say the words so loudly when Esme was now right next to her.


	6. Chapter 6 Bella Comes Clean

I own nothing...Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just read a few reviews and I have to say a special thank you to kavelf for all the reviews and one in particular. Thanks so much!

Chapter 06 – Bella Comes Clean

Monday evening, Bella indulged in the rare treat of a single bottle of beer as she sat on the front porch with Edward, Jasper, and Alice. The baby monitor rested quietly on the small overturned flower pot near Alice's feet, assuring them all that Tansy was down for the night. Setting her drink down on the small table in front of her, she pulled the blanket closer around her shoulder and laughed at Edward's response to her actions.

"Do you want some help warming up? You could always sit closer." Edward already had his arm around the back of the swing smiling as he offered the invitation.

"No promises, remember?" Bella teased lightly, keeping to herself the fact that Edward had no idea just how much she wanted to snuggle into his arms. She was enjoying the adult only time among the four of them more than she thought she would. "Well, I know Alice is itching to hear all about my day and I know she already told Jasper so let's get this part over with and then we won't speak of it again."

Bella proceeded to tell them, in detail, about her day. She began at the welfare office talking right on through to her tub time with Tansy.

Her visit to the welfare office had left her in shock and her nerves still felt frazzled even after she had come home. Her mind raced as she recalled the lines she had to stand in and the forms that at times seemed to stretch out longer than the lines.

She saw women in various states of helplessness and men that were obviously there as a last resort. There were people of every ethnicity and all the languages spoken had Bella's head buzzing. She looked around the waiting room in awe as she realized that she could pick out at least a few words in each language.

There were people with their heads bent low and wearing hats, afraid of being recognized, and there were people there with all their children, clearly feeling as if they were owed some kind of prize for producing so many offspring. She took in all these people and stood silently, clutching Tansy close to her chest as if wanting to protect her from the onslaught of emotions. In a moment of clarity she realized that this was definitely her last resort.

Glancing around herself sympathetically she took a deep breath and called herself seven different kinds of stupid as she realized she was wasting her time. She could do this on her own...she _would_ do this on her own. She had friends she could rely on and a little bit of savings. She spent all her money carefully and they at least had a roof over their heads.

Still shaking her head she gathered her wits about her and jammed the filled out forms into the diaper bag, resolving to burn them when she got home. Then, walking out of the public aid office into the bright sunshine, she realized that it would be the second thing she would do when she got home. The first thing she was going to do was take a bath to wash off the filthy feeling that so many bodies crammed into one space had left her feeling.

From the welfare office she made her way to the doctor's office and was rewarded with the good news that Tansy was in perfect health and the even better news that her medications needed to be adjusted only slightly. Given that she stayed healthy, the doctor told Bella that he was scheduling surgery for the first week of June and that she should plan on being admitted a few days beforehand to get the necessary tests out of the way. Bella wrote notes furiously. June sixth the doctor had said.

Bella laughed at the irony of Tansy's surgery being scheduled on D-Day. When she had voiced this finding to Dr. Smith he looked less than amused staring at her incredulously as if she had lost her mind to make a joke at a time like this. After a lengthy discussion on what was to be expected, and an exam that left Tansy howling in pain, Bella left the doctor's office feeling exactly the same as the welfare office. First things first, she decided on a bath.

This is where Alice found her later that day. She was surrounded by bubbles, lounging against the back of the tub. She rocked back and forth gently in the water enjoying the skin on skin contact, cradling her daughter against her. She barely looked up as Alice appeared in the doorway smiling at her and holding Bella's robe.

"I'm tempted to join you two. What gives?" Alice asked as she lowered the toilet seat to sit down.

"Just deep in thought and since we both needed a bath I decided to kill two birds with one stone." Bella's words were said with a comfortable smile. Though she was easily embarrassed around other people, she and Alice had always enjoyed a comfortable feeling around each other and with as many shopping trips as Bella was dragged on, she had long gotten over any hang ups in front of Alice.

"How did things go today?" Alice crossed her legs and sat in a lotus position as she balanced herself on the toilet seat. She laid the robe across her legs and pretended to study her nails, trying to sound uninterested.

"Alright, alright. I'll say it. Ready? You were right Alice. Are you happy now?" Bella sighed as Tansy shifted position tucking her head in the crook of Bella's neck. Clearly the baby was enjoying the skin to skin contact just as much as Bella and she had only moved her head to the other side so she could stare at Alice while Bella held her close.

"Happy that we are going to be broke? No. I'm ecstatic that we are going to do this with little to no help from anyone though." Alice lifted one finger and waved it at the baby, earning her a soft giggle. "Do you want me to take her?"

Bella lightly splashed water on her daughter's back to rinse the soapy suds away and nodded. The lavender scented baby soap had worked its magic on both her and Tansy, lulling them almost to sleep.

"Would you mind?" Bella handed her slippery bundle carefully to Alice who immediately wrapped Tansy in a towel and started to pat her dry while Bella pulled the plug out of the drain before reaching for her robe. "On a more positive note, Dr. Smith scheduled her surgery for June sixth." Bella busied herself so that Alice would not catch the sting of the tears as she realized fully what it meant.

"The sixth? Of June? Oh Bella, that's just about a month away. That doesn't leave us much time to get her ready." Alice's voice was soft but still, Bella heard it wavering slightly.

"I know Al. After carrying her around all day I knew she gained some weight. She's weighs thirteen pounds!" Bella said the words with such optimism that Alice could help but comment.

"Yeah, she's practically chubby now." As Bella looked over at the baby in Alice's arms, they both laughed, knowing full well that she had no cute little rolls of baby fat.

"I know right? It's strange to see her near Emily and Ethan. They all weigh about the same but Tansy is what? Three months older than they are?" Bella's question caused Alice's brow to furrow in concentration as she tried to remember how old the twins were. She nodded in confirmation as Bella sighed. "Hopefully, once her heart is patched, she'll be able to catch up and get back on track. It seems like every step she takes forward she takes one or two back."

Bella tightened her robe around her and stepped into the living room before gasping. There on the couch flipping channels was Jasper, his long legs stretched out in front of him as he waited.

"Um, Hi?" Bella said awkwardly as she pulled the robe tighter still.

"Heya Bella." Jasper said nonchalantly as he went back to flipping.

Alice stepped around Bella walking unconcerned into Tansy's bedroom with the baby. Bella looked back at Jasper as she followed Alice.

"You didn't tell me he was here." Bella growled as she pulled open a drawer and took out a soft fleece sleeper. Slamming it closed, she tossed the pajamas to Alice by the changing table, careful not to toss them directly on her daughter.

"Who? Jazz or Edward?" Alice still looked unconcerned.

"Edward is here Alice? Are you kidding me?" Bella's words were practically a scream and she moved to close the bedroom door.

"What? They just came over for a little while to hang out. He's probably in the kitchen getting a drink. What's the big deal?" Alice's voice let Bella know that she was overreacting.

"Alice, you spent fifteen minutes with me in the bathroom. Don't you think you should have let me know that someone else was in the house? I mean, what if one of them had to use the bathroom?" Bella stood with her hands on her hips now.

"I would have directed them to a tree in the yard, it's not a big deal. Jasper drove me to pick up some supplies and when I mentioned going home Jasper asked Edward to tag along so he wouldn't fall asleep driving home later. Go get dressed Bella, seriously it's not a big deal, so stop making it one." Alice kept herself busy getting Tansy ready for bed tossing her a quick look before leaving her alone in the bedroom.

Bella crept quietly through the hallway, hoping no one would hear her and turn their heads. She made her way to her own room where she pulled on a pair of flannel pajama pants and a long sleeve t-shirt. When Bella returned she found everyone gathered in the living room.

To her surprise, Edward was sitting on the arm of the couch, his feet resting on a cushion as he made faces at Tansy while Alice held her. The feeling between the four adults was such an easygoing one that Bella didn't realize just how much she had missed 'just hanging out' as Alice had put it. She crossed the living room greeting Edward with a hug and a kiss on the cheek before sitting down on the only available cushion, right on his socked feet and then laughed as he pretended to be in pain.

"Maybe if your feet were on the floor where they belong you wouldn't have gotten them sat on." Bella reached for Tansy to draw her in close, inhaling the sweet smell from their bath.

"Bella, why don't you go give her some medicine and then we can hang out for a bit?" Alice curled up close to Jasper, leaving Bella with no real option.

"Sure. It's about past her bedtime anyway." Bella stood and began to make her way into the kitchen, surprising even herself when she motioned for Edward to follow her.

"Edward, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were coming over. If I would have known, I wouldn't have taken so long in the bathroom." Bella stopped her explanation short, not wanting to explain anything having to do with her and being naked. She took a towel from a small closet and laid it on the dining room table as she gathered the supplies she would need.

"No apology needed Bella. Seriously, it was a very last minute decision. I don't think Jasper wants to make the trip home that late by himself." Edward drew her into his arms to comfort her in a friendly hug, inhaling the sweet smelling soap she used. As Bella pulled away she smiled, knowing that he wouldn't push her any further.

"Could you please hold her until I get everything ready? If I put her down now, she's going to know exactly what's happening and she'll start to fuss."

Bella methodically gathered up everything she would need in the towel. As Edward watched, she took a bottle of pink liquid from the refrigerator and started to shake it. She then reached for a syringe from a box on the counter, uncapping it by using her teeth. He watched as she furrowed her brow in concentration to get the exact amount and then recapped it. She put the bottle back in the refrigerator and turned toward Edward as she laid the syringe on the towel.

"I appreciate your help. If this is going to make you uncomfortable, you can go and ask Alice to come help. I'm not sure how squeamish you'll get." Bella looked embarrassed, as she shuffled around.

"No, I think I'll stay if you need help. But, remember the other day at the zoo when my dad said I should remember." Edward waited for Bella to react before he continued to explain. "Well, I was in medical school before but I dropped out." He continued watching her move around the room.

"You dropped out? Of medical school?" Bella stopped her movements briefly. "That's insane Edward, no one drops out of medical school do they? All that work!" Bella reached for a pudding cup and a small tongue dispenser. She placed both on the towel. After a minute she snapped her fingers and added a few paper towels to the growing pile. As she reached for another bottle of pills, Edward decided he had to ask.

"That's exactly why I dropped out. All that work for something I didn't think was that fun. I'm not like my father; he's got an amazing amount of patience and confidence. What is all this for?" Edward stopped explaining himself as he looked at the pile of supplies with amazement.

"This is her ritual, welcome to our world Edward." Bella took one pill crushing it in a bowl with a mortar and pestle. She took a packet from another box and emptied the powder in the bowl and mixed the medicines together. Bella gathered up all her supplies in the towel then nodded for Edward to follow her as she carried them all to the changing table in Tansy's room. She took everything off the towel putting it in easy reach on the dresser.

"You can put her on the towel. I'll take it from there." Bella sighed as she put her hands on her hips. Edward thought she looked as if she were preparing for battle.

Bella started to undress Tansy and Edward gasped. He held the girl while dressed and now that she was in just her diaper it truly hit him. Although he rarely held them, he was used to seeing his niece and nephew. Chubby, healthy children.

He wasn't prepared for what lay before him on the table. The frail little girl started to suck on a toy Bella gave her for distraction. Edward saw no baby fat on this baby, no chubby little rolls, no pudginess. What he did see was skin and bone. Tansy's heart beat fast and Edward swore he could probably count the beats through her chest. He saw every rib almost protruding through against her pale skin.

"It's shocking isn't it? She weighs a whole thirteen pounds. I'm so proud of you baby!" Bella made a silly face at Tansy and was rewarded with a smack in the face with the toy she had given her. She rubbed her face gently and laughed when she saw Edward's smirk. "I asked for that, I know. If you aren't able to handle this it's really okay. You don't have to stay if it makes you uncomfortable." Bella looked at his face as he stared at Tansy lying helplessly on the changing table.

"I'm okay, it's, ah, it's just a shock at first." Edward said, clearly embarrassed at his reaction to Tansy.

"Okay, I usually undress her, because if she's going to spit up, I don't want to have to wash everything. I try to keep it all in the towel, but she spits up rather forcefully. And the medicine doesn't taste so hot either so she really squirms. Usually I'd just put it in her tube with a nutrition shake so she won't taste it. But for nighttime I don't want to feed her this late. For this time, I have to give it to her in her mouth, so I am going to hide it in a few spoonfuls of pudding." Bella took the pink syringe and started to make faces at Tansy to get her to laugh. "Edward, would you mind holding her head? Just like this?" If I aim it at the back of her throat chances are less that she'll taste it."

Bella reached for the tongue depressor and once she was satisfied blew a gentle breath in Tansy's face to get her to breathe in. Once her mouth was open Bella put the tongue depressor on her tongue and squirted the pink liquid in the back of her mouth. Tansy started to squirm so Bella started to sing to her. After a minute of two, when she was satisfied that it was going to stay down Bella stopped singing and looked over at Edward.

"That was almost too easy. Usually she squirms and fidgets so much that it immediately comes back up. That will keep her heart rhythm regular. These next two are to keep her blood pressure down and one is a steroid to try to help her get stronger. Are you ready? She needs to sit up for this and she doesn't hold her head up by herself yet." Bella explained.

"Can I hold her then? Would that be easier?" Edward asked clearly confused.

"Easier, yes. But also messier for you. Here, hold her like this. I'll have the towel ready just in case she spits up. Ready?" Bella asked calmly.

"Okay, I'm ready." Edward looked at Bella as she worked on getting Tansy to eat the pudding laced with medicine. The first few bites went down fine. Bella looked over at Edward and smiled.

"Thanks for doing this. You know, your whole family has been really great." Bella gave Tansy a break between spoonfuls so she could talk to Edward. Tansy, hearing Edward's voice again tried to turn herself around to see his face. "I didn't think she would get so use to your voice. Most infants have a fear of strangers, but Tansy has been around so many people in and out of the hospital, she trusts pretty much everyone." Bella gave her another spoonful of the pudding smiling lovingly at her daughter as she sucked it back.

"Can I ask you about your family Bella?" Edward's eyes were on Bella as he held her daughter. He spoke in a soft, low voice. "How did you end up all alone?"

"Well, my parents divorced when I was very young. My mother and father were married young and then quickly had me. Neither was ready for parenthood though. Only in hindsight did they ever realize that it was an impulse thing. My mother was quite scatterbrained. She wouldn't allow my father to have much of influence over me; I didn't get spend hardly any time with him when I was growing up.

By the time I could decide on my own to visit, he was so set in his ways that it was just uncomfortable being with him. He wasn't much of a talker; I don't think he ever really got over Renee leaving him and taking me away.

I lived with Renee all over the Western suburbs and Chicago while growing up. I knew who my father was, but yet I really didn't know him. And believe me, no one was more shocked than me when I found out he left me this house after he died." Bella looked around Tansy's room giving her another spoonful of pudding. "I miss him."

Edward just nodded, understanding but not really knowing. He couldn't even think about the time when his own parents were no longer around. "What about your mother?" Edward asked. "It's hard for me to imagine ever being alone. Being a twin makes it even more so, I mean even before I was born I had to share a room with Emmett for nine months, and he's a pretty big guy." He was relieved to see that his comment made Bella laugh, his intended goal was to see a lot more of that laugh.

"Count your blessings Edward. You don't know how lucky you are to have a family like yours. I have Tansy, and believe me, there are days when I feel like I don't deserve even having her in my life. She deserves so much more than I can ever give her. I am going on the basis that everyone is always saying that babies only need love. That's about all I can give her. For however long I have her." Bella's face suddenly took on a desolate look.

"But what about your relationship with your mother? What about Tansy's father? I'd like to know Bella." Edward looked over to see Bella still concentrating on feeding Tansy. Edward was trying to figure out if she was deliberately evading his questions or ignoring them altogether.

"Well, what can I say? Once I, or we, found out about Tansy's heart condition, Jacob started distancing himself. I thought it was because I focused on her so much, but I needed to, because he didn't. He wouldn't hold her, and watching him try to interact with her was almost painful. He didn't stick around long. I can't even tell you when he actually left, I didn't recognize it. Suddenly he was just gone.

Alice moved in to help me out, both with the bills and Tansy. I guess I just thought, maybe still think, that Jacob will come back. I don't know – I haven't heard from him in months. Seth is a cousin of his, somehow, second or third removed or something crazy shit like that. I know that they talk, but he hasn't tried to contact me personally." Bella shook her head obviously not caring to go on further.

"And your mother?" Edward pressed on, clearly not understanding that Bella didn't want to talk about her family, but he felt he needed answers. He didn't want to walk into a relationship with hidden minefields all over it; he wanted, no he needed, to know up front what he was dealing with.

"Renee is a whack job Edward." Bella replied quickly. "I have nothing to do with her anymore. She lives in Florida now with her current meal ticket and has absolutely nothing to do with us at all. She's pretty disappointed that I 'chased' Jacob away.

She visited us once, when Tansy was a month old it was then that I asked her then not to visit us ever again." Bella's face clouded as she finished up with Tansy and cleaned up the mess. Edward held tight to the baby, going to sit in the rocker with her, still wrapped in the towel.

"Can you talk about it?" Edward asked her softly.

Bella sat down on the floor next to the rocker. She reached up and lightly fingered Tansy's curls. "When Renee came into town, Jacob was very distant and barely around. I let him know that my mom was coming, because she always made him uncomfortable. Renee likes her men young and handsome. She tends to look at men like objects, or rather things, rather than people. One night the three of us were sitting together in the living room, Renee decided that would be a perfect time to smoke. She just lit it up and thought nothing of it. Keep in mind that I've mentioned that she's a whack job. Under normal circumstances, you shouldn't smoke around a baby, but Tansy was still pretty weak from an episode of heart failure the previous week. At one point while arguing with us, she actually blew smoke right into Tansy's face.

That was the only time that Jacob ever defended Tansy. She was fine for a few hours but, during the night, she went back into heart failure. I'm sure it wasn't the smoke itself, but she was still very sick and weak from the previous episode."

"And then…what happened during the night Bella?" Edward looked down at the baby he held, nearly asleep in his arms.

"We rushed her to the hospital and man, you should have heard the doctor lay into me. It was my fault you see, Renee smoking in my home and all. Anyway, I took it, I was still new to the whole 'sick child's mom' thing and didn't realize that I needed to stand up for Tansy and myself." Bella shook her head to clear it and then continued. "Jacob and I never discussed how far to let the doctors go with Tansy. I just assumed do everything you can – she's my daughter for Christ's sake."

"Of course." Edward's voice rasped out the words, letting Bella know that she did the right thing and leaving it up to her to decide if she wanted to continue talking about it.

"After she had an attack, they coded her. You've been to medical school so you know what that means right?" Bella looked at Edward as he held Tansy tighter and nodded. "Well, that night, they coded her three separate times; after the third one Renee came walking into the ICU.

"There was a resident at Tansy's bedside with us and we were discussing a DNR order, you know what that is, right?" She looked again as he nodded with a grim look on his face. "Well, I never had any intention of signing one; however Jacob sure did though. As Renee listened in, she saw it as her chance to yet again come between me and him. She quickly jumped in on his side saying it would be much better for _everyone_ involved if we just let her go." Bella kneeled positioning herself between Edward's legs as she stared at her daughter.

"Your mother sounds like a real piece of… work." Edward barely attempted to hide the resentment in his voice.

"I could never let that happen. And after what she did with the smoking, I felt it was her fault. I realize now that I just needed someone to blame besides myself for Tansy being sick." Bella sighed as she felt a weight lifting off her shoulders.

"Wow, what happened then? I mean obviously Tansy got better." Edward lifted the bundle in his arms slightly as proof.

"She sure did." Bella gave him one of her huge smiles. "She coded once more during the night and well, have you ever seen anyone code?" Edward shook his head. "It's so awful. It's happening to her, but I swear, with each jolt of the paddles I felt it inside _me_. It was pretty frightening. I stayed with her and Jacob, well he left.

"Between Tansy, Renee and myself, I guess he decided he had enough of crazy Swan women. That is when Renee felt the need to tell me how disappointed she was that I stupidly chose my daughter over my husband. I've never regretted that decision, not even for a single minute. I don't think she even realized that she told me to do the exact opposite of what she did, she chose me over her husband, and she was telling me to choose Jacob over my daughter. The irony wasn't lost on me." Bella laughed sarcastically.

"You did the right thing Bella." Edward shifted Tansy slightly so Bella could lay her hear against his knee. "So, at the zoo the other day, when you were talking about people considering carrying a baby as punishment, I gather you were speaking of Renee?"

"She definitely makes the top two, that's for sure. The thing is, she chose me over my father and then proceeded to make my life miserable. I told her she wasn't welcome into my life anymore and not to make contact with me again ever. So now it's just me and her." Bella laughed then winced as Tansy grabbed a fistful of hair.

"And Alice." Edward added helpfully as Bella nodded.

"And Alice." Bella agreed, untangling her hair from Tansy's grip.

"And Esme." Edward said, lifting Tansy up higher to try to help untangle the snare.

"And Esme. Oww." Bella said the words somewhere between a laugh and a cry as she tried to untangle the mess.

"And Rose, Emmett, Jasper…" Edward started rambling off names and laughing as he dangled Tansy in midair above Bella.

"Oww, I got it, I got it. Yes, your whole family is there to help me. I could sure use some of that help right now." Bella said the words sarcastically as she kneeled, trying to bring her hair up to Tansy height to stop the pull.

"Okay, okay." Edward pulled the baby back down to his lap again, releasing some of the tension on Bella's long hair. "You know Bella, I'd like to be there for you too." Edward's face grew solemn as he easily untangled the hair in Tansy's grasp.

"Thank you." Bella said, not sure if she meant for the save or the offer of help. "I know you all want to help. I'm just still so unsure about everything. And she has to be my priority; she has no one else."

"That's not true. She has Alice, Esme, Rose…" Edward started rattling off his family members again, trying to get Bella to see his point.

Bella could only laugh at his silliness jabbing at his leg playfully.

"I get it, I get it, your whole family. Thank you." Still laughing, Bella tried to smooth out her still damp hair.

"You need to smile more often." Edward said, joining her as they laughed at the silliness the baby had caused.

"I need a reason to smile more often first." Bella said, the laughing slowly dying away as sadness crept back into her voice.

"Well, what would you say if I told you I plan on giving you more reasons to smile like that?" Edward said rocking forward, closer to Bella and handing her daughter over to her to put to sleep.

"I would say that right now, I'm not making any plans for my future; it's just too uncertain. It's too shaky for me to go beyond Tansy's day to day needs. What we just went through, this little ritual of medicines? This is my life Edward. This happens three times a day. It's exhausting, it's uncertain, and there are no guarantees that I'll have anything to show for it in the end. I can't ask anyone else to sign up for this. Alice does, she's my best friend." Bella smiled at her own words, knowing that Alice was, and would be there for her no matter what. "I really don't know what I would have done if Alice hadn't been there for me. But asking anyone else to give up their life and take all this on? I just can't do it." Bella shook her head as if not even willing to consider the option. Stepping away from Edward with her daughter in her arms she crossed to the crib and lay her down as she reached for the previously discarded pajamas.

"But you aren't asking me Bella, I'm volunteering. There's a big difference." Edward's voice came up right behind her, causing her movement to become shaky as she felt his warm breath on the back of her neck. Gathering her composure, she swallowed and then started to speak while she changed her daughter, dressing her back in her pajamas.

"And until I know what I will be facing in the future, I can't ask that of anyone. I'm sorry, but I can't afford to be distracted. My one goal right now is her health; it's the reason I only take specific painting jobs now too. I have to be able to work my own hours, thankfully Esme understands that. Tansy comes first, always. Trust me when I say that I really would like to be able to offer you more, but right now, I am technically still married to Jacob. He is Tansy's father. I don't like that I am left in limbo while he decides to do whatever it is he is doing. But I don't know what will happen in the future for her should he decide to come back."

"What about the future for you? If he decides to come back?" Edward quickly added the second half of his question.

"I've mentioned this to Alice before, but it's worth repeating. I'm done with him. As soon as I can hire a lawyer I am asking for a divorce. But for her, I want him to be there for her, to walk her down the aisle someday, to catch her whenever she falls. The longer he waits, the harder it will be for the two of them to get to know each other. I just wish I knew what was on his agenda. I'm sorry Edward, but until Tansy is better and until Jacob decides what he will be doing, I just can't handle another emotional tie." Bella looked truly upset by her own words even though she knew she was being honest.

"Well then, how about if I just agree to hang out in the background? As a friend? We will be working together at my parent's house so it's not like we won't see each other there and at other events relating to them. Let's agree to disagree. I won't make promises I can't keep and we will just be friends who can lean on each other once in a while. Deal?" Edward took a step back and waited for Bella to turn and face him.

Sighing, Bella pulled a blanket up to her daughter's chin and wound up the mobile hanging over her head. Turning slowly to face Edward she crossed her arms in front of her. "No promises?" At Edward's nod and smile she melted. "Deal."

As Edward drew her into a hug, he pulled her gently toward the door. Noticing that she was reluctant to leave her daughter, he reached for something similar to what he knew Rose had. At Bella's smile and surprised look, he knew he was right in grabbing the baby monitor for her. Smiling at him she took it and turned to set it up. Edward waited patiently by the door for her. With one hand on the light switch and the other on the door handle, he knew that this would be just the beginning of his waiting for her. And he knew in his heart that she would be worth the wait.

"What took so long Bella?" Alice asked as she lounged on a chair she had pulled up right next to Jasper's.

"Bella was just giving me a rundown of all things Tansy. That's an interesting name by the way, what does it mean?" Edward diffused the conversation, not wanting Bella to have to explain their conversation from Tansy's bedroom. He sat down on the swing and accepted the beer bottle from his brother.

"Well, Tansy is an herb." Bella began explaining, accepting the beer offered to her by Jasper before sitting next to Edward on the swing. "Jacob is Native American, so, we were trying to find a name that sounded American enough to make it sound right and Native American enough to tie her to her heritage. If I would have known then what I know now about how things turned out I would have insisted on Daisy or Holly." To Bella's great relief everyone laughed.

"Do you know what it means though?" Jasper asked absently.

"Well, its Native American meaning is something like plant or flower, but it's actually an herb. It's also got origins in Greece and means eternal life or immortal."

"Kinda freaky considering how many times she's been brought back huh?" Alice poked at Jasper playfully. "It's like a self-fulfilling prophecy kinda thing." She ended her jibe by humming the theme from _Twilight Zone_.

"No shit right? All kidding aside though Bella, it sounds like you had one hell of a day. For the sake of keeping peace, I suggest you don't tell my mother about your little trip to the Public Aid office today." Jasper glanced over at Edward to see him nodding in agreement.

"What? Why would I tell her? More importantly, why would she care?" Bella looked from Edward to Jasper.

"Uh, in case you didn't notice, she pretty much considers you her daughter. She really likes you Bella, and hearing that you went to a stranger for help before you even considered asking her would really upset her. I just don't want to see my mom get hurt." Jasper's words warmed Bella's heart.

"I would never do anything to intentionally hurt your family. Anyone in your family." Bella immediately felt bad for not disclosing her plans for today when they were all together at the zoo.

"We know that Bella. It's just that Esme cares a lot about you and Tansy both; she really wants to help everyone. To her, there's nothing that can't be fixed or made better. And yes, she will use that 'nurturing mother will fix everything' card against you when you least expect it." Edward smiled at Bella ruffling her hair as she dropped her forehead against her drawn up knees. "Don't worry, if she gets too out of hand, we can rein her in."

"Well, we can try to rein her in; I'm not making any promises though. When my mother gets an idea into her head, she runs with it." Jasper looked over at Bella who now stared at him incredulously. "You think I'm joking? I'm not."

"Alright, alright, quit scaring her Jasper. We should really let them get some sleep if they plan on being at the house to work tomorrow." Edward stood and stretched, unknowingly bared his well toned stomach muscles to Bella as his shirt rode up his body.

Alice stood up and began collecting their bottles before nodding toward Jasper to follow her inside.

"Will I see you tomorrow at your parent's house then?" Bella tried to be nonchalant as she posed the question to Edward. She still sat, knees still drawn up to her chin and her arms still wrapped securely around her legs.

"I definitely have to go into work for a while, but I do plan on stopping by there at some point. Do me a favor and don't leave before I get there. I want to go over a few things with you." Edward briefly sat back down on the swing but stayed near the edge rather than make himself comfortable. He rested his elbows on his knees and intertwined his hands together before looking over at Bella.

"Oh, is it about the room?" Bella tried to keep her voice sounding casual but she had the feeling that it betrayed her and she worried for a moment that she might be sounding desperate.

"No, it's about you even thinking that you need to go on public assistance at all. Bella, I know we haven't known each other that long, or even that well yet. But I want you to know, I am going to be there for you and Tansy. I'm not going away and I want to help." At the start of Bella's protest Edward moved to place one hand over her mouth, stopping her from speaking. "Just listen. I know you don't want to take it, so if you ever need it, we'll call it a loan and you can come up with your own repayment plan. But please, at least consider my family before you do something as drastic as you did today. Promise?"

Edward moved his hand away from Bella's mouth and laughed as she breathed in deeply.

"I wasn't even holding it that tight; you could still breathe through your nose." Edward laughed at Bella's expression.

Bella smirked back at him, not daring to tell him that the reason she inhaled was to get a last whiff of his soapy clean scent.

"Edward, that's a very nice offer, but I can't accept it. We'll be fine. Alice and I can do this. It's important that we do this on our own." Bella's head gave one affirmative nod as if she needed to convince herself as well. "Thank you, but I can't accept any money from you Edward."

"See, I knew you would say that, its alright. There are other ways to help. Since you decline my outright offer to help, I am just going to have to be a little more devious." Edward looked over at her face, laughing when her jaw dropped open. As she clamped her lips back down he leaned over and gave her a quick kiss on the lips, causing Bella to jerk her head back in surprise and then smile at the bold, playfulness of his action. As his brother opened the door and stepped onto the porch Edward stood up to go, leaving Bella bewildered and still smiling. "See you tomorrow Bella."

"Goodnight Edward." Bella managed to get the words out but it was too late so she ended up saying the words to Alice as they watched the Cullens pull out of their driveway.

"I'm Alice remember? Short and spastic?" Alice threw her hip into Bella's as she teased her about the name calling. "Edward is the hunk that you just let leave without saying goodbye to."

Alice's words drew Bella out of her daydream. "Right. I knew that. I'm just tired." Bella smiled down at her friend but Alice wasn't convinced, the bright light in Bella's eyes giving away her quiet happiness.

"Okay, time to get serious. Let's go nail down some specifics." Alice turned to return back into the house, all business now, and Bella knew exactly where she would find her.

As she entered the kitchen, Bella went over logistics with Alice about the job at Esme's house, Tansy's surgery and exactly what their days would look like for the next few months. They came up with different scenarios and with alternate plans just in case there were details that were being overlooked. They moved their brainstorming session to the old couch, taking their midnight snack with them.

"I mentioned babysitting to Esme and she said just bring Tansy to work with me there so that won't be a problem." Bella nibbled on a cookie while she and Alice hung out on the sofa.

"Of course she won't mind. Bella, that family is crazy about you. And in case you didn't notice, one family member in particular." Alice looked over her glass of milk at Bella and raised her eyebrows, daring her to deny it.

"I can't deny it Alice. He told me as much when he helped with Tansy tonight. He said he wants to try to be there for us both." Bella sighed as she reached for another cookie.

"What did you say Bells? I want details!" Alice squealed, her eyes were bright with excitement.

"Alice, I told him I wasn't able to make any promises right now." Bella started to drown her cookie in the milk but noticed that Alice's eyes had clouded over and she was just staring at her.

"Bella, why on Earth would you do that to him? Why would you do that to her?" Alice indicated Tansy by pointing to her bedroom. "And why on Earth would you do that to yourself?" Alice looked completely shocked as Bella began defending her actions.

"Come on Alice, you saw for yourself how Jacob treated us once Tansy was diagnosed. Even her own father wanted nothing to do with her. Do you really think that Edward would want to be involved once he really figures out all that this life entails? What he got tonight was just a small dose of what my reality is like. I'm not sure that I can handle it most days, and until I know for sure that she will be fine, I can't ask anyone else, Edward included, to sign up for this. It's bad enough I sucked you into it." Bella bit hard on the cookie, polishing off her milk as she got up from her seat and began clearing away the fallen crumbs and glasses.

"You know what I _think_ Bella? I _think_ maybe Jacob did break you too far, perhaps there is no hope for you at all." Without another word, Alice stomped into her room, leaving Bella to clean the mess all alone.


	7. Chapter 7 What Are We Doing?

Chapter 07 – What Are We Doing

Stephenie Meyer own everything Twilight.

Thanks for all the great reviews everyone! A few brought tears to my eyes and I've had so many generous offers for help it's a bit stunning. I feel like I must reiterate that there will be lots of drama, both with Bella's daughter and between Bella and Edward, but there is a happily ever after and everyone does live. I realize that this is not always the case in real life and I am deeply moved by how many of us have been affected by a child's death in our lives. My heart aches for us all and I hope that this story might in some tiny way be of some comfort to you. Thank you all so much.

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Bella was in her element. She glanced around the room and couldn't help but smile. She felt like a child again, like she had just woken up on Christmas morning and the biggest present under the tree was hers and hers alone. She glanced in the corner of the room where she laid out several blankets to form a pad for Tansy to lay in and had placed a trapeze that Rose had let her borrow to play with.

As her phone started beeping she glanced at it, noticing that it was time for her daughter's medicine, again. Sighing, she put down her sketch pad and pencil. She glanced one more time around the empty room feeling a brief moment of regret that she was being interrupted, again. Walking over to her daughter and seeing her grin made all those thoughts disappear as she picked her up and started for the kitchen. It was Emmett's voice that greeted her first.

"So, how's your hangover Bells?" Emmett was eating as usual, but still managed to get the words out clearly and with a grin.

"Hi Emmett. Sorry, no hangover for me. It was only one beer and lots of talking. That's it, really." Bella looked around seeing a smirk on Rosalie's face. "Are Edward and Jasper okay?" Bella asked as she began her routine of gathering up all she would need. It was Esme that answered this time.

"They're fine. Emmett just likes to tease. I'm so happy that you were able to enjoy yourself a little Bella." Esme stood to assist her as she struggled with holding both her daughter and the diaper bag. "It's actually another reason I want to talk to you. Mother's Day is coming up and I want you and Alice to stay for the long weekend. You can come up on Friday and work as usual and leave on Monday." She held the bag open for Bella as she started to dig around in it.

Bella, clumsy on a good day and caught even more off guard at Esme's invitation, reached and pulled out a cloth from the bottom of the diaper bag, dragging several items with it as they dropped to the floor.

She stared in horror as she realized what it was. The white papers she had meant to shred were floating silently to the ground among bibs and a few toys. Esme kneeled down to pick up the items but before Bella could reach for them the older woman turned away, papers in hand. Bella looked away, avoiding Rose and Emmett's questioning stare. Turning back to Bella, she caught the shining, unshed tears in Esme's eyes.

"Do you want to explain this to me Bella?" Esme held the papers out to her and placed the diaper bag on the table. She reached for the back of Rosalie's chair supporting her body against it.

Bella had no words, instead she simply stared at Esme, hoping her expression did the talking for her. There were no words she could use right now that would make things better. She recalled Edward and Jasper's words from the previous night and stiffened as she realized how much she had hurt Esme. Before she could start talking, she heard Esme's voice, quiet and broken, and in complete mother-mode.

"Take care of your daughter Bella. I'll meet you in Carlisle's study after lunch. Rose and Emmett can watch over her for you for a few minutes while we talk." Esme let go of her grip from the chair and left the room with her composure and dignity intact. She hadn't wanted to let anyone see her tears as she fled to her husband's office down the hall, wishing desperately that he was there with her and not at work. After closing the door she settled into his chair, dabbed at her eyes with a tissue before calling him at work, hoping he wasn't too busy and that he could talk to her and calm her down.

As Bella set up her daughter's routine, she filled Emmett and Rose in on what happened the previous day, ending the story before she got to the part of Alice finding her in the tub.

"That sucks Bella. Why didn't you just ask her? She wants to help you, or didn't she make that clear enough yet?" Emmett had a hard time keeping the acid out of his words as he tried to be sympathetic toward Bella while understanding his mother's need to help.

"Leave her alone Em. Bella is trying to do this on her own and besides, she didn't actually go through with it." Rose was on her feet now, having placed her daughter in a high chair next to her son.

"I didn't, but I feel awful. The guys said this would happen last night. I meant to shred those papers so no one would know except them. They're going to be so mad at me." Bella went through Tansy's whole routine in a fog. As she propped the baby up in her car seat she asked Rose if she would mind watching her as she talked to Esme.

Bella took the offending papers from the table and made her way down the hall, knocking briefly before opening the door. She heard Esme say a soft 'I love you too' then saw her replace the receiver before she sat down across from her. She waited, hoping the woman would initiate the conversation.

"Bella, I have to say, I don't care that you went to that awful place. What you do is your own business. But for the life of me, I can't figure out why you did it. Why did you feel like you couldn't come to me and Carlisle?" Esme reached for another tissue and made a show of dabbing at her eyes. Bella managed to squeak out a pathetic 'I am sorry' before her own eyes started to fill.

"I just want you to know that when I hired you for this job and when I said I want you to feel free to ask us for anything, I meant it. I hate that you didn't take me at my word and I guess that's what upsets me the most. Did you think I don't care?" Esme tilted her head looking directly into Bella's eyes.

"I know you do Esme, and I am so sorry that I didn't. It was just a fleeting thought and I meant to shred those papers because I can't go through with it. I guess the reason I didn't ask you is the same reason I didn't turn in those forms. It's more a matter of my own pride than anything." Bella chewed her lip as she waited for Esme's response. She didn't have long to wait.

"Well, I've talked it over with Carlisle and he said it's ultimately your decision. I don't agree with him at all, but I can't force you to accept my help. So I suppose I will do the only thing I can help you with." Esme reached her hand out and took the papers before spinning around in Carlisle's leather office chair. Bella heard the whirr of a machine as Esme placed the documents in the shredder. She spun back around to face Bella. "There. Now, we can forget all about those ugly papers. Next topic. What are you doing for Mother's Day weekend?"

"Nothing I can think of. I should check with Alice but we don't usually do anything special. I'll probably just call my mother, I think she's still in Florida." As an afterthought Bella realized that this would be her first Mother's Day that she would spend as a mother. She couldn't help but smile at the thought.

"Alright, good. Next weekend you are coming over and spending it with us, I insist. You will come over on Saturday and stay through until Monday evening. May as well let you stay Sunday night as well so you can work on Monday without all this driving back and forth nonsense." Esme stood, walked around the large oak desk to hug Bella before quickly walking out of the office, leaving her no chance to argue.

It took Bella a few minutes to gather her wits and as she replayed the entire event in her mind. She gasped as she realized that even with Edward and Jasper's warning, she had fallen victim to Esme Cullen's well-crafted plan. Laughing at herself as she made her way back into the dining room, she caught Rose's eyes and all the tension finally slumped from her body. As Rose started to snicker, Bella couldn't help but join in.

"Well, there's one good thing to come from all of this, we'll see you next weekend." Rose began cleaning up the table as she laughed.

"She told you already? How does she do it? I really thought she was angry at me for those papers." Bella started to help but stopped to look at Emmett as she asked the question.

"Oh, I have no doubt she was genuinely upset over the papers. But that doesn't mean she wouldn't use it against you to get what she wants." Rose smirked at Bella. "She was talking about getting you to come over for Mother's Day before you even came over today. You gave her just the right dose of blackmail she needed to make it easier for her though."

"Right. And you couldn't warn me of what I was walking into?" Even though she was trying to sound hurt, Rose and Emmett could see the smile peeking through on Bella's lips and the laughter in her voice.

After sharing the laugh with Emmett and Rose, Bella collected her daughter and trudged up the stairs. Placing her back on the pallet of blankets in the corner she got back to work, and couldn't help but smile to herself as she did.

It wasn't long before she heard Alice's voice realizing then that several hours had passed while she worked. Smiling she noticed that she got the rough drawings done on her sketch pad and turned a page to add a few little notes before Alice could see what she had completed. Best friend or not, Alice could still be critical of her work and Bella didn't always recognize it as being in her own best interest to correct something.

"Bella, are you still up here?" Alice's pixie voice chimed through the air, causing Tansy's head to immediately start searching for the course of Alice's voice. Bella laughed as she watched her little head wobble around.

"I'm in here Alice, and Tansy heard you too. You better show yourself before she gives herself whiplash trying to see where you are." Bella stopped drawing flipping the sketch pad closed. She gently tossed it into a corner before greeting Alice warmly as she walked into the room with Jasper close behind.

"Heya Bella." Jasper embraced Bella as soon as Alice let go. Even with the short amount of time they had been together, Bella and Jasper acknowledged each other with a warm hug, understanding that they had a shared interest in Alice's happiness. "So, we heard about Mom having you over next weekend for Mother's Day; I warned you." Jasper's finger wagged in front of Bella's face as if he were chastising a child.

Bella couldn't help but laugh. "You did. How does she do it? I still can't believe I fell for it. She's good!" Bella's tone let them both know she was impressed with Esme's ability to talk people into things. Looking over at Alice, now occupied with playing on the floor with Tansy, Bella continued talking to Jasper as if the two weren't there. She looked over at Jasper and made eyes toward the door, indicating that he should follow her.

"Alice, I'm just going to grab something to drink, can you watch her for a few minutes?" Bella asked innocently as she stretched.

"Sure Bella, Oh, Jazz, while you are downstairs talking with Bella, would you mind bringing me back a Pepsi?" Alice looked up at the both of them and smirked. "We psy-_chics_ see all don't we Tan?"

Bella and Jasper rolled their eyes at Alice as they stepped into the hallway. "It's creepy sometimes how she does that you know Jazz?" Bella tried to lighten the mood.

"Yeah, but she's so damn lovable. I just want to hide away with her so nothing can hurt her ever. She hates being taken care of when it's done obviously, but if I can do it without her knowing – she loves it." Jasper sighed as he glanced back at the doorway.

"Oh, you do have it bad don't you? Poor Jasper." Bella smiled up at him and the sappy look on his face. "Well, let's go get a few drinks. I really do need to talk to you. Can we go outside for a minute?" Bella waved her hand toward the front door as they stepped down the last few steps.

"Sure Bella what's on your mind?" Jasper led Bella to the now empty kitchen grabbing a few drinks before setting them on the table then leading Bella to the front porch.

"I'm not sure how to say this; I love Alice dearly. I don't know what I would have done without her. I don't even want to think about it. I need to ask you though, just to make sure. I mean, I am not trying to push you two together or anything, or try to sound like an overprotective parent to her. But I uhh, I have Alice down to be Tansy's legal guardian if something should happen to me. I just want to be sure that would be alright. I mean, would you be okay with it? I know it's a lot, and I know we haven't known each other that long. I'm not even saying this right." Bella shook her head as she turned to face Jasper.

Jasper took Bella's face in his hands to try to calm her down. "Bella, are you asking me if I am serious about Alice because of Tansy? Do you think that Alice would seriously turn her away because of me?"

Taking her silence as an affirmation of his own words, Jasper released Bella's face and stepped back briefly before drawing her into a hug.

"Trust me Bella, Alice is so head over heels for that beautiful girl. She has already made it clear to me that she plans on stepping in for you if God forbid something should happen. I think she's one step ahead of you already. She has told me, more than once, that Tansy is ours if anything should happen to you."

Bella's shoulders shaking against his chest caused Jasper to soften his words. "SShhh, Bella. You know, she never _asked_ me either. She _told_ me. I trust Alice. I know how much she means to you. You mean a lot to her and so does Tansy. You two are her only family you know. If there should ever come a time, I'd be honored to consider Tansy as my own. Is that what you are asking me for Bella?"

Jasper felt Bella's head nod before she pulled away from him. "It's just that I know you two are still just dating and it's so sudden and all."

Jasper shook his head to quiet Bella's rambling and placing his thumb against her cheek he brushed away her tears. "It is soon, and fast; but I am completely taken with Alice. She is my life and if the three of you come as a package deal, then sign me up." Again Jasper reached out to Bella, this time he could tell the tears streaming on her face were from happiness and not uncertainty.

"Thank you Jasper. You have no idea how much that means to me to hear it." Bella sniffled into his shirt.

"I'd like to know how much it means to you." Bella jumped as she heard Edward's voice from behind them.

"Geez, Ed, quit walking up on people like that." Jasper made eye contact with his brother to try to get his attention away from Bella.

"Edward, you scared me." Smiling despite her tears, Bella wiped her face clumsily with the back of her hand as she turned to face him.

"Yeah, I'm scary like that." Edward's words came out in a sneer causing Bella to automatically step back, falling right against Jasper's chest.

"Brother, before you say something that you will regret, you need to know what this is about; it isn't what you think it is." Jasper wrapped his arm protectively around Bella's shoulder moving her gently to the side before taking a step toward his brother with his other hand outstretched pushing Edward back lightly.

What Jasper had intended was his light push to calm Edward before he could reach Bella and unleash his anger. He only partially succeeded as Edward raised his arm and shoved Jasper's arm away from him before he said anything.

"Fine Jazz." Edward's eyes never left Bella's frightened face as he spoke to his brother. "Could you give us a minute please?"

Edward's voice was too calm and Jasper felt Bella shiver slightly in his one armed embrace. Jasper hugged Bella tightly against him one last time before stepping around his brother. He cast one last look at them before speaking.

"Bella, don't you take any of his shit for this. You make him see exactly what the plan is okay? If he can't, or won't accept it, then he really isn't the man you think he is." Jasper slammed the door on his way in, causing Bella to jump yet again.

"Edward." Bella was still sniffling as she wiped her nose on her sleeve childishly before looking in his eyes. "It really isn't what you are thinking. I asked Alice to stay with Tansy upstairs because I needed to talk to Jasper. You see…let's sit down okay?" Walking past Edward, Bella sat down gratefully on the front porch swing, her legs feeling like they would no longer hold her upright. Indicating that he should sit next to her, she took a few cleansing, shuddering breaths.

"Bella, what the fuck were you and Jasper doing out there?" Sitting down next to Bella, Edward said the words as he gestured toward the other side of the porch. Bella was so stunned by the jealousy dripping from Edward's words that her own words came out in a rush and rather than be upset or mad herself she found herself apologizing for the misunderstanding. She desperately wanted Edward to be not upset with her.

"Please don't be mad. Edward, I needed to explain to Jasper first. I needed to ask him if he was alright with Alice being Tansy's guardian should anything happen to me. I swear that's all it was. Alice is already her guardian, but I wasn't sure if Jasper would be willing to, step up and take Tansy too. I wouldn't want to put Alice in a position where she might have to choose between Tansy and Jasper. That wouldn't be fair to her. I had to ask Jasper if, in the future, if he might be able to maybe take Tansy in as his own with Alice."

Bella put her elbows on her knees buring her face in her hands before continuing on. "I'm sorry I'm rambling. But I needed to make sure he was really alright with it if things should turn serious between them. That's all it was Edward. If he wouldn't want her then I have to find someone else, I couldn't do that to Alice."

Shaking his head Edward drew Bella against him. "Bella." Her name was an exasperated sigh that came out of his lips. "Why would you even ask? You know any of us would love Tansy as our own. I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions." Edward Leaned in and sweetly kissed the top of her head, causing her to snuggle further against him. "Am I forgiven for being a jealous, overreacting, asshole?"

"Oh Edward, this is all still so new. I've known Alice for forever. I know I could probably ask any of you, but it has to be Alice. She's her godmother, did you know?" Bella looked wistfully up at Edward before snuggling back against his chest.

"No, I didn't. I guess it makes sense given how close you both are. I just never really thought of either of you as seriously religious." Edward's words were softer now as he held her tightly.

"We aren't. Tansy was only a few weeks old and was being admitted for heart failure. Her medications were still being adjusted so trips to the ER were pretty frequent back then. That night there happened to be a chaplain on call, they asked him to talk to me about signing a no-code order. Alice was with me that night, Jacob was already very distant so he wasn't there. After talking to the chaplain, I felt, that if I was to sign, and something should happen, where would that little girl's soul end up? Even if I didn't believe as I should, I needed to know that she would be going to the right place. I asked Alice then and there and we had her baptized in the hospital with just Alice, myself and the chaplain. Of course, Jacob was furious about it later. I told him that he shouldn't have left if he wanted to have a say in it. Anyway, when all was said and done, I still never signed that order – I just couldn't Edward."

Bella leaned further into Edward's chest and put her arms around him, giving him a quick kiss on his chest before snuggling back against him. They stayed like that for until Edward broke the silence.

"Bella, thank you for trusting me enough to share that with me." Edward reached over and kissed the top of her head as she nodded. After a few more minutes of quiet, Bella stood to go. Looking back down at Edward, she crouched down in front of him.

"You know Edward, next to Alice, you are my best friend. I don't know what I'd do without you." Bella kissed him casually before standing again to stretch, only to be brought down again by Edward's hands as he pulled her into his lap.

"You know Bella, I don't want you as a friend. I don't know what I'd do without you either. To be honest, it scares the hell out of me." Edward's voice mimicked Bella's, then turned softer as he drew her fully into his lap where he began kissing her fully.

The unexpected feel of Edward's soft tongue against her lips caused Bella to moan out loud and move her tongue against his. Losing all sense of herself, she moved her arms around his neck drawing him closer as her mouth seemed to move on its own. Moaning softly she repositioned her body, causing Edward to give a small yelp as her knee moved closer to his and they broke apart smiling.

"Was that intentional?" Edward kept his forehead right against Bella's as he said the words. Three little words and he couldn't even say them without becoming winded. His mouth turned into a smile as he placed his against hers and waited for her to respond.

Bella broke away before answering Edward, her own words coming out raspy and breathless. "A knee to the groin? I'm afraid my aim isn't that good." She moved back against his lips returning to their kiss, making sure to keep her tongue in her own mouth and her lips closed. After a few seconds of feathery light kisses she broke away again leaving her forehead touching his. "I am sorry though. I am sorry for almost doing that to you. I am sorry for dragging you into the clusterfuck that is my life right now. I am sorry I can't promise you much more than this right now. But the one thing I am not sorry for is kissing you and being here in your arms right now."

"Bella!" Edward moved in to kiss her again shifting her body to make himself more comfortable as they talked, peppering the entire talk with occasional kisses. "Right now, I am not asking for more than this. And by this, I mean you in my arms, and the kissing. In the future I will ask for more, but for right now I can deal."

As if to prove his point, Edward again shifted Bella's body so that she wasn't coming into as much contact with his now obvious hard-on. Smiling at her, they both turned their grins into laughter.

"Edward? Did I tell you that Seth and the guys at the bar are having a fundraiser for Tansy?" Bella scooted to sit next to Edward and fixed her clothing, taking a clue from Edward's appearance as he adjusted himself inside his pants.

"No, how did you manage that?" Edward put his arm back around her drawingher back into his side.

"I didn't manage anything. I am not really happy about it. All those people, strangers even, coming to stare and gawk at my daughter? Nope, not my thing. But I can use the money." As Edward opened his mouth to speak Bella elbowed him in his ribs. "Pretend, for once, that you aren't as rich as Croesus and just talk to me."

"Okay. At least he is trying to help Bella. I imagine, being in Seth's place, that it would be terribly difficult to know it is your own family member that is doing that to someone you love." Edward's words both surprised Bella and upset her.

"What do you mean love? Seth is a friend, that's all. I am not even sure exactly how he is related to Jake. He cares about me and Tansy as friends and right about now, I can use those." Bella smiled up at Edward, letting him know that she included him in that group.

"But I am not only your friend Bella., not anymore. I won't ask you for anything more than you can give, but I will ask that you acknowledge me as something more in your life than just a friend." Catching Bella's puzzled look made Edward continue. "You say that Seth is a friend, and I am a friend. So where's the difference between Seth and I? There isn't one. Although I truly think he would like there to be, I think it is just his loyalty to his family that keeps him from pursuing you. I don't want to be lumped into the same category as him Bella."

"What are you saying Edward? Exactly what are you looking for now that you've twisted this whole conversation around on me?" Bella sat up straighter and stared at Edward briefly before the shock showed on her face. "Oh my word! You and Esme both! That's where you get it from!"

"Get what from?" Edward faked innocence as he put his arms out against the back of the swing and casually moved the swing back and forth. "I don't know what you are talking about."

"Yes you do! The slick underhanded meanings and setting traps. She did it to me this morning when we were talking about Mother's Day and now you are doing it to me with Seth. You're two peas in a pod! You're getting me to talk about Seth and making an acknowledgement of him purposely makes me acknowledge you too." Bella's expression made Edward laugh.

"Now you're just letting your imagination run away with you Bella. All I was asking was that you give me a little more consideration than just a friend, that's all." Edward's face still held a look of innocence.

Bella pretended to look thoughtful. "More than a friend? Like what?" Her words now sounded impatient as she began rambling, their swinging becoming as fast as their words. "You obviously can't be my husband, I already have one of those."

Edward's snort of sarcasm let Bella know just what he thought of her 'husband'. "I understand that much Bella, I'm not an imbecile. I was thinking more along the lines of you being my girlfriend, with no strings attached."

"Girlfriend? You seriously want to be my boyfriend? Even though I have a husband already and a daughter?" Bella turned her head and caught Edward's stare.

"Absolutely." Edward said and flashed Bella a closed lip smile that reminded her of more of a smirk.

"Girlfriend." Bella said the word again to test it out. "Even though I can't give you anything more right now you still want me as your girlfriend?"

"Absolutely." Edward repeated the word and stopped the swing as he pulled her into his arms again, carefully moving her legs so there were no accidents this time.

"Edward, no offense, and I don't mean to insult your taste in women, but you can do so much better than me. You're successful, handsome, only drink socially and polite. You bathe regularly and are kind to children and I'm guessing small animals. You love your family, you're smart and funny. You can have any woman you want just by snapping your fingers." Bella looked doubtfully over at Edward, definitely questioning his current taste.

"And I've never had any woman tell me that I was half those things Bella. The women that you refer to obviously are also the ones that don't look past themselves to see all my finer qualities as you just listed them." Edward managed to look embarrassed.

"Well that answers my question of why you don't date." Bella leaned in and kissed flush away from Edward's cheeks.

"I've dated. It's just that I haven't dated anyone that has made me think I want to pursue anything more than a relationship with someone. There's never been anything there to push me any further into a relationship." Smiling at her now Edward leaned into her ear to whisper his next words softly, as if he was sharing a secret. "Be my girlfriend, please Bella."

Bella's body convulsed involuntarily as she shivered in his arms. His warm breath against her sensitive ear and neck made her eyes close as she gasped for her next breath. "Yes?"

In spite of the seriousness of the moment Edward laughed pulling away only slightly to look at her. "Are you asking me or telling me?"

"Telling you. Telling you yes, actually. I can't believe I am saying it, but yes. As long as you can accept the title without the benefits that come along with it." Bella's words put an immediate stop to Edward's advances as he pretended to think about a serious relationship with no sex from Bella.

"Done. I won't ask for anything more than what you can give me right now. So, girlfriend?" Edward tested the word out. "What are your plans for dinner tonight, girlfriend?" He still held Bella tightly in his arms.

"I've got to go home. Just so you know; I am going to be your houseguest this weekend for Mother's Day. I'm sure you've already heard." Nudging Edward, Bella crawled off his lap as he slowed the swing eventually stopping it.

"I knew she would try something like that but I didn't realize exactly what. How did she do it?" Edward was curious about his mother's slick ways of having the world cater to her whims. There was no reason to explain to each other just how devious Esme Cullen was.

"She saw the papers I left in Tansy's diaper bag. She totally blackmailed me and I fell for it." Bella stood before Edward and held out her hand to pull him off the swing.

"She's better than I give her credit for. That was fast, but I'm glad she did. You shouldn't be alone on Mother's Day Bella." Edward's steps slowed, causing Bella to nearly pull him along.

"I would have spent it with Alice and Tansy. I probably would have caved and called Renee, I still might." Bella's expression became thoughtful and then vacant as Edward watched her rethink her plan. "On second thought, a peaceful day with just Tansy and Alice would be just the thing."

"Well, not if my family has anything to say about it. So you won't stay tonight for dinner because you will be here this weekend?" Edward's voice clearly let Bella think she was making a wrong choice.

"Well, I do have a home. This is my job and I really don't want your family to get sick of me. I don't want to wear out my welcome and besides, I don't want my boyfriend to think I just sleep around." Bella smirked tugging harder on Edward's arm as she pulled him towards the door.

"Fine. Just don't make plans for Friday night. You can stay over Friday and leave Monday after work; that's fair." Edward tried to negotiate his way into spending more time with her.

"Edward that's four days. You'll be so tired of us by then! I'll come over on Saturday morning and stay until Monday evening. That will give you a full twenty four hours on Sunday to get tired of me and probably break up with me." Bella was only half joking, clearly she was still expecting something to go wrong. "Besides, Seth wants to meet me at the bar on Friday night to go over some things for the fund raiser."

"That's right, I forgot about that. Finish telling me about it." Edward put his arm around Bella's waist as they walked the rest of the way to the front door, letting go of her only to hold the door open for her.

Bella smiled as she stepped past him to enter the house. She walked toward the stairs in the front hall, pausing only briefly so that Edward could take her hand and pull her toward the kitchen instead. As usual, there was a crowd gathered and Esme Cullen stood in the kitchen handing out various bowls and plates of food for lunch. As Edward pulled out a chair for Bella she smiled, making faces at her daughter across the table.

"So Bella, did you tell them the good news yet?" Alice just glowed as she smiled over at Bella expectantly.

Bella's face turned thoughtful. She wasn't sure how Alice could have known that Edward had asked her to be his girlfriend so she looked over at him for an explanation. He shook his head and shrugged, letting it show that he was just as confused as she was. Sighing, Bella caved. She had long ago given up trying to figure out how Alice just 'knew' some things.

"Well, I know this might be awkward in front of everyone but I can see Alice is practically going to tip Tansy off her lap if I don't say something so it is only with her best interest that I disclose this. Edward and I are kind of dating now." Bella could feel her scalp prickle as she admitted the words out loud in front of others and watched their jaws drop as Edward leaned over to give her a kiss on her cheek.

"Come again?" Alice found her words almost before Bella finished.

"Dating. As in, what you and Jasper are doing." Looking over at Alice, Bella continued with her puzzled expression. "Isn't that what you meant by good news?"

"Umm, No. I was talking about the fundraiser Seth was doing." Alice grinned expectantly, clearly waiting for Bella to say more. It was Edward that jumped in and saved her.

"What Bella means is that we are going to go very slow because everything is still so unsettled. Eventually we will go further but until Bella decides the time, we would appreciate everyone just giving us our space as we figure this out." Edward looking purposefully over at his mother and sister-in-law while Bella focused on Alice. "You all can pester me all you like, but where Bella is concerned, the only one that should bother her for our gory details is Alice. I trust you to know when to stop needling her about details right?" His last words were clearly directed at Alice now as he tossed a look her way.

"Sure, sure. She knows she can trust me." Alice said the words to Edward but her eyes never left Bella's face and the smile never left her lips. "But we'll talk about that later; let's talk about this fundraiser thing."

Bella mouthed a silent 'thank you' to Alice before continuing to talk about the fundraiser. She went into all the details down to where they were posting the fliers and asked if everyone there would want to come. After everyone agreed that they would go, even including the babies so Tansy could 'hang out' with them. Bella informed them that as long as the babies and any children that might attend stay clear of the bar area, they would be fine. There apparently needed to be special permission granted by the village for minors to be hanging out where alcohol was served and as long as they were in the seated area where the food would be served it was not going to be an issue.

Before Bella knew it, evening had come and she realized that she hadn't ever gone back to work in the room. She excused herself, leaving Esme holding Tansy as she and Edward went to gather up the car seat and their belongings from the room.

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There's only 26 letters in the English alphabet and there is no combination of those letters that can adequately describe exactly how grateful and thankful I am for you taking the time to read and review for me.


	8. Chapter 8 Edward Cullen, Baby Whisperer

Stephenie Meyer owns these characters, I am just playing with them.

The title for this chapter is from HockeyChick, who unknowingly left it in a review for chapter 5. At the time chapter 5 was posted, I was knee-deep into chapter 8 and it fit perfectly. You'll see why when you read this chapter. I am sure Lola appreciates the title even more, given that I frequently hand chapters off to her with the title 'insert title here Lo'.

I know there are legal issues surrounding what Jacob is doing. Please bear with me, these will be explained in upcoming chapters.

And again, thanks so much to everyone who takes the time to read and review for me. As anyone who posts stories on these sites will tell you, there's no bigger high than seeing an email alert pop up saying that you have a new review. So many new people have put this story on there alert list, and a few have even put me on their favorite list! ME? A FAVORITE? (Here's my Bella moment of saying 'I'm not worthy', but believe me, it is truly my pleasure. Thanks so much for the support.

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On the drive over that following Friday, Bella cursed herself more than once for not living in the city but strictly for the convenience of living near the Cullen home. She didn't think she could take city living on a daily basis since she could barely manage the amount of people sharing the roads around her as she navigated the expressways amid Chicago's morning rush-hour traffic.

"Tansy, baby, please just hold on." Bella tried to go around other traffic, but the expressway was jammed. "This so sucks! What the hell was your momma thinking Tansy?" Bella's head pounded as she listened to her poor daughter crying from the backseat. She couldn't turn off anywhere and traffic was just crawling along. She turned the radio on for a bit, but when it had no effect on Tansy she just turned it back off, needing to get rid of the excess noise. At wits end for the level of racket in such a closed in space, she grabbed at her cellular phone as it chimed out.

"Hello?" Bella was sure her voice sounded much rougher than she had intended.

"Whoa, Bells, you sound like shit. Were you drinking last night or something?" Emmett's laughter, even subdued over the phone lines, caused Bella's head to pound even harder.

"Emmett, I am trying to get to work okay? I am stuck in traffic, I can't unroll the windows because of the expressway noise, I have Tansy screaming bloody murder in the backseat, my head is pounding, and yeah, you know what? I feel like I could use a drink right now." Bella yelled into the phone as she turned her signal on to switch lanes.

"Wow, emo much Bella?" Rosalie's laughter irritated Bella every bit as much as Emmett's, but where Emmett's was a hammer pounding Rosalie's was like nails on a chalkboard. "I can't believe he asked you that even. There's really no excuse for him either; I blame it on his college years. Anyway, he's going to be working with Jasper now, so he should be gone by the time you get here. I am just making sure you're alright because you should have been here an hour ago."

"Yeah, I know, I'm on the expressway now. There has got to be an easier way to do this. I'm still about twenty minutes away so if you could let Esme know I would appreciate it Rose." Bella knew Rose was getting antsy and eager for her company. Staying home to raise kids but not knowing anyone in a strange city had Rose being slightly needy towards Bella and Alice. "Hasn't Alice showed up with Jasper yet? She left the house over an hour ago."

"They're not here yet. No big deal, just get here safe. Wow, Tansy sure doesn't like the drive into the city does she?" Rose laughed again while Bella clenched her teeth together, realizing that it wasn't Rose's fault she was in such a foul mood.

"No, it's like she gets onto the expressway and just knows we are going to sit in traffic; must be her sixth sense." Bella laughed as she thought of Alice's comment on being a psychic, with an emphasis on the _chic_.

"Well, I'll let Esme know, see you in a bit." Rose hung up and Bella took a deep breath and blew it out, trying to calm her nerves. She tried thinking happy thoughts, immediately her mind centered on one, Edward. She thought of his eyes, his smile, and especially his liking her despite her flaws. As her daughter screamed in the backseat, Bella couldn't help but smile. She was sure if anyone in the cars surrounding her could hear Tansy scream while her sadistic mother smiled, they would call the Department of Child and Family Services on her.

Bella briefly looked in the mirror at Tansy. She had never seen her daughter so taken with a man before. She was just okay with calm Jasper, she howled near giant Emmett, and she spit up on doctor Carlisle. Only Edward seemed to know just what to say when Tansy was upset. She dialed the familiar number now.

"Bella?" Edward's voice oozed sleepy perfection.

"Hi Edward." Bella felt defeated and knew it came through in her voice.

"Bella? Wow, I can barely hear you. Are you strangling a cat or something?" Edward yelled into the phone, effectively making Bella's headache worse.

"No, but if I see one, I just might out of anger. I have a huge case of road rage, Tansy hates the expressway, Chicago's road construction season is well under way, and my head is splitting so hard I think it's become detached but I can still feel the pain so I know it hasn't. I hate to bother you but I am about ready to lose it." She sighed deeply. "Thanks for letting me vent."

"It's alright Bella, relax. Take a few deep breaths and put me on speaker phone." Edward cleared his throat and Bella laughed as she put him on speaker holding up the phone toward the backseat.

"Tansy baby. Listen sweetheart." Bella pleaded with her daughter as she increased the volume on the little phone. She could now clearly make out Edward's deep voice.

"Tansy? Hey beautiful." Edward started to hum and sing into the telephone then only after a couple of minutes the screams turned into sobs. A few more minutes went by and Edward began talking again, telling Tansy all the wonderful things she was going to be able to do once she got better.

It didn't matter that he was talking in words the baby couldn't understand, it was the sound of his voice that was causing the sobs to turn into whimpers. As he rambled on, telling Tansy how special her mom was, the whimpers turned into softer sighs and eventually the baby was quiet. Bella swallowed against the lump in her throat as Edward kept talking to her daughter, lovingly telling her how special she was and how much she had his family wrapped around her fingers.

Edward had to be aware that Tansy was now asleep but it didn't matter, he kept up the talking for the rest of the drive. What was meant to be only another twenty five minutes turned into forty as Bella navigated the Edens expressway.

As she turned into the now familiar drive she began to laugh. There on the front porch sat Edward with his phone to his ear. As she pulled the car to a stop, he came down to greet her. Bella could see that he had a glass of orange juice in his other hand. Getting out of her car to greet him she finally hung up her phone, disconnecting his call as his words came through the phone and in person, laughing with him as he did the same. Bella jammed her phone into her pocket then carefully wrapped her arms around him.

Edward held her carefully, not wanting to spill any juice. Stepping back from her he held out the juice as he pocketed his phone. Bella gratefully took the glass, noticing that he held two tiny pills in his hand also.

"I'll trade you, two pain relievers and some juice for a willing audience during my next performance of humming 101." Edward laughed as Bella collapsed against her car eagerly stuffing the pills into her mouth and following them with half the glass of juice.

"You laugh, but I swear, I'm about ready to move into the basement here just to avoid that commute, it's a killer." Bella sipped the other half the glass in a few easy gulps.

"Geez Bella, we have more juice in the house. Slow down." Edward laughed at her as he opened the back door to get the car seat out. He easily pulled the diaper bag out slinging it over his shoulder before reaching back in to unbuckle the carrier. "I'm not going to take her out of the carrier just now, she seems comfortable." Edward shrugged as he said the words and held the carrier easily. He nudged the back door closed with his foot before stepping to Bella was still leaning against the driver door with a smile on her face.

"You're a natural you know that?" Smiling as she said the words and then wincing as she remembered the headache.

"Nope, not a natural, she's just easily entertained. Plus, she couldn't leave the room, she was stuck being my audience. You both were." Smiling, Edward kissed Bella softly, his tongue tracing her lips and enjoying the taste. "God I love orange juice." His last words were spoken with such reverence Bella laughed more before responding.

"Edward Cullen, the baby whisperer." She teased him and even with his arms full managed to get her own around him as she snuggled into his chest for a hug.

"Come on, let's get you inside. Jasper and Alice finally showed up too, with no words of why they were so late." Edward wiggled his eyebrows at her and she pretended to grimace at the thought of Jasper and Alice being intimate.

"Let me just grab my portfolio." Bella sighed as she opened the door and reached into the passenger side for the huge bag. "I can't wait for Esme to see the drawings I brought with me; I hope she likes them.

"Bella relax, Esme will love anything you do. If you don't mind, I'd like to stick around and see them for myself. I don't have to go to work today, well at least not until later this afternoon, my foreman Ben is on the site this morning. Just calm down." As they started walking, Edward slung the diaper bag higher on his shoulder and reached out to Bella with his free hand.

"Right as usual Edward. I'm just frazzled. You guys have no idea what I am going to do to that room though. I hope Esme is okay with the design; that's got me a bit nervous too." Bella led the way to the front door.

As they approached, the door opened and Carlisle rushed out. He embraced Bella in a quick hug and kiss on the cheek as she greeted him.

"Hi Carlisle, Bye Carlisle. Good thing I stepped out of the way for you." Bella enjoyed the easygoing nature of her relationship with Carlisle. He truly had become Bella's go-to man for all things medical.

"Sorry kids, I forgot a folder I was working on yesterday. I'll be back this afternoon. He stepped toward his car giving them a quick wave.

"What a liar that man is! Working on a folder my foot!" Bella laughed.

"What do you mean?" Edward looked genuinely confused which made Bella laugh even more.

"Edward, you aren't that dense, you should be able to figure this out – did you see a folder in his hands? No. Did you see his crooked and very loose tie? Plus, one of his shoes was untied. You should see your face!" Bella bent over in laughter as Edward's face turned into one of surprise.

"Okay, A, Carlisle is very busy at work and couldn't afford to rush home for a midmorning quickie. B, he and Esme know there are a house full of children and wouldn't do that. And C, and most importantly, eeewww. Bella, that's truly sick. How can you even think that way about my parents?" Edward looked truly shocked as they entered the house, talking softly so no one else would hear their conversation.

"Okay Edward, number one, your father is one handsome man and your parents are still so much in love, he would _make_ the time for a midmorning quickie. Number two, the 'children' in this house are all experienced grownups and unknowing infants. And number three, here she comes now." Bella turned to greet a disheveled Esme.

"This is wrong on too many levels." She heard Edward mumble behind her as she greeted Esme in a warm hug.

"Edward, take Tansy upstairs by Alice, she's already started. We really need to finish this room so we have a place for all the kids to go when they are here." Esme nodded at Bella.

Bella felt a pang of regret. She wondered what would happen when she was finished with the room. Would Edward still want her around? She wondered if Esme would still call her once in a while or if Rose might still want to get together for play-dates as the babies got older. She left her thoughts unspoken as she followed behind Edward and Esme.

Edward put the diaper bag down in a corner before gently placing the carrier next to it. Alice stopped what she was doing long enough to greet Bella and Tansy. Setting her portfolio down on the drafting table in the middle of the room Bella sighed, ready to get to work and let the pain reliever kick in.

"Who put this table in here?" Bella asked as she looked over at Esme who was holding her empty juice glass and Tansy's formula that she had found in the diaper bag.

"It's from Jasper's bedroom. He wasn't using it and Alice said you could use something in here to work on. It just makes sense." Esme shrugged as she left for the kitchen.

"Esme and Carlisle, sitting in a tree…" Alice's words were soft enough that only Edward and Bella could hear. Edward again feigned shock as Bella laughed at him.

"Stop. STOP!" I don't want to know." Covering his ears, Edward stepped away from Alice while she sang.

"Your brothers said the same thing before they left. You guys are so cute pretending to be so ignorant of the fact that your parents still have sex." Alice smirked as she walked past Edward and pinched his cheek playfully before making an excuse to leave the room.

"When is her next appointment?" Edward asked Bella the question, desperate to change the subject as Alice left the room.

Bella set a pile of large drawings on the edge of the table as she removed the portfolio bag to zip it closed. She turned to Edward as he spoke and caught the edge of the stack with the corner of the bag. Sighing, she watched the heavy drawing papers fall to the ground.

"I'll get it Bella, just finish putting that away." Edward felt bad for questioning Bella, knowing she must still have a headache and that concentrating while in pain was difficult. He was tempted to take her down the hall and have her lay down in a quiet bedroom for a short nap but then his eyes fell across one of the drawings.

Edward could just see a corner of it, but he could tell it wasn't like the others and didn't belong in the stack. He pulled it out and gasped when he saw what it was.

"Bella, when did you draw this?" Edward stood and tried to hide his confusion and shock.

Without looking, Bella figured that if it was in her portfolio that she did it within the last week and that it was a drawing of the room. She answered him without looking. "Probably during the week one day. Why?" Bella now turned her eyes toward the poster board size drawing that Edward held and gasped as she saw what it was.

"Oh wow, I didn't realize that one was in there. It must have gotten scooped up with the drawings I did and left on my desk at home." Bella walked toward Edward slowly and reached for it so to hide it, not answering his question.

"Bella? When did you draw this?" Edward asked again. The tone of his voice was sterner but it the volume was louder. It unnerved him that Bella wouldn't meet his gaze.

"A while ago; what does it matter?" Shrugging, Bella started to feel defiant as she reached to take it from him again. She crossed her arms in front of her defensively as he moved it away from her grasp.

"It matters because this is a damn accurate drawing and I want to know when it was drawn and what exactly you were looking at when you drew it." Edward raised his voice before realizing that Tansy was still in the room.

"It shouldn't matter now when I drew it. It obviously wasn't meant to be in my bag with these drawings. And it was obviously not meant to be seen by anyone else." Bella reached for it again and again Edward pulled it away from her hands.

"For the love of fuck Bella Black. When did you draw this and what could have had you feeling so horrible that you wanted to jump off a building?" Edward ground out the last of his words as he continued to hold the drawing out of Bella's reach.

"Do you really have to ask Edward? For your information, I drew it about a month after Tansy was born. It's a perspective from where I was standing at the top of a building. Did I seriously consider it, consider killing myself? Yes. Why? Jesus, do you even have to ask? Everything I was dealing with came crashing down to reality and I literally had no one to depend on except Alice." Bella sucked in a breath as she revealed one of her darker moments to Edward.

"My husband was leaving me and my daughter was dying in a hospital. I wasn't sure if I could handle it all on my own. Did you really want to know all that Edward? This drawing represents a horrible, dark time in my life. Do I still feel like jumping off a building or killing myself? Of course not, but it was drawn at a time when I felt like I had absolutely nowhere to turn. Then I realized I couldn't do that to Tansy."

"What do you mean 'do that to Tansy' Bella?" Handing the drawing back to Bella, Edward made his way to a wall and leaned against it, needing the support.

"Think of it from my perspective Edward. Just before she was born, I had the kind of life most people can only dream of. Secure job doing what I really wanted. I had what appeared to be a loving husband and we were about to add to our family. At that point in my life, I felt like I had it all. Then after she was born it all started crumbling piece by piece. I was thinking that she would be better off without me because I was such a mess and I felt she deserved so much more." Bella stared at the drawing in her hands.

"I knew Alice would step up but then that wasn't really fair to Alice either. Then after a while, I started to feel like my heart was broken emotionally just as much as hers was physically and it just seemed to click that we matched. She's my daughter and therefore my responsibility."

"She is your responsibility, but who is to say you have to shoulder that responsibility on your own Bella? Jacob should have been there right alongside you the entire time. Your mother should have been more supportive. And what about Jake's family?" Edward's voice sounded desperate as he started grabbing at straws trying to alleviate some of the stress Bella was surely under at that time in her life.

"What about them, hmm? Any of them? Don't you see? No one else wanted her. I was literally all she had-I was it. And even as fucked up as I was at the moment I stood there on that ledge, I knew she deserved more. Ever since then I've tried to make it up to her. I may not be much, but I am all she has." Bella held up the picture as Edward began to interrupt her. "Okay, okay, I am not all she has anymore. But from a blood family standpoint, I am it. It's just not fair to her that I should chicken out and quit the game just as she joined it."

Edward smiled softly at Bella's analogy and crossed the room to join her. He took the drawing from her hands, held it under his armpit as he unzipped Bella's portfolio and placed it in there. He made a show of zipping it back up after he put the offending drawing in it, then crossed to the closet and stored it in there. Closing the door, he sighed as he leaned back against it. Bella's now empty hands fidgeted and she crossed her arms again as they stared each other down.

"I know this changes things Edward. I haven't felt that way in a long time now, months even. I know now that I should have gotten help at the time but I still have a hard time asking for it. No one else knows of that drawing's existence and I'd like to keep it that way. Alice never saw it when I was drawing it and I never told her exactly what happened in that span of time." Bella defended herself as best she could. "Drawing it sort of reminded me that I need to be grateful for the time I have with her instead of spending the time I have with her worrying about the time I might not have with her in the future."

Edward closed the distance between them and unfolded Bella's arms from her body as he pulled her into a tight embrace. "Such a remarkable woman." With his chin resting on her head he spoke, hoping to convey everything he felt after she trusted him with her spooky little secret.

"This changes nothing Bella. You are so strong, everything you have gone through and are going through and you've never given up. Come close to it, but never did quit. Knowing all this, how stubborn you are and how you never give up and how loyal you are to your daughter and Alice. Knowing all this simply makes me want you more. This changes nothing." Edward's emotions had him repeating the words for emphasis.

Bella got three more solid hours of drawing time in after Edward left for work so she could concentrate. She attacked the room with a renewed sense of the direction and was surprised when her phone chirped an alarm and she realized how late it had become. She made her way silently to the kitchen; grabbing everything she needed before heading back upstairs to continue her work. She had decided to just give her a tube feeding before she got too hungry and worked herself up into a fit. Bella hated to do it, knowing Tansy needed to use her mouth and stomach muscles more but the physical pain it brought on when she got sick took a lot out of her. One feeding at a time Bella, she reminded herself.

As she got Tansy set up, she moved her carrier closer to the wall and handed her a toy. She prepared everything efficiently and quickly, sending up a small thank you that no one had interrupted her on the way to the kitchen and back. As she mixed everything together she poured it into the syringe she connected to Tansy's ng tube. She reached for a roll of tape and carefully taped the syringe to an empty wall. It was Emmett who had finally realized that Tansy could be put on 'autopilot' as he called it. He was so proud of himself that Bella frequently thanked him for the suggestion and she had to admit it to herself, it was almost a relief that she was free from being tied down to a tube feed. As long as Tansy's hands were kept busy with a toy, she could easily be fed this way.

Bella went back to work, with frequent glances in Tansy's direction to make sure she was alright. After another hour of work, Bella stood up and stretched. She looked over at Tansy and decided to free her from the tube feeding giving her a bit of a stretch as well.

She was surprised that there were no constant interruptions and figured that everyone must be going on about their day. As she checked her phone she saw a missed text from Alice saying that she and Esme were going to a fabric warehouse to look at material Esme wanted to use. They have apparently poked their heads in at some point and decided not to interrupt because Bella had been deep in concentration.

Glancing over at her daughter, Bella could see her trying to stretch her small body out in the cramped carrier. She sighed as she quickly finished the picture she was transferring onto the wall and put her pencils away. Making her way to her daughter she smiled over at her as her head wobbled to one side as she caught sight of her mother. She started babbling which made Bella's heart melt.

"Come here Miss Tan. You've been cooped up in that seat long enough today." Bella freed her from the connected tube and capped off the ng tube taped to her cheek. As she danced around the room, she pointed out various pictures on the walls. Feeling like on some level her daughter knew exactly what was going on, she explained things to Tansy as if she could understand her.

She went through the motions of telling her about the different buildings she was painting in the background of the park on one wall before she went over to the opposite wall and began pointing out the various animals that were in the zoo she was drawing. After she ran out of animals she began just conversing with her daughter as she walked with her around the room.

"And pretty soon, Aunt Alice will be back here to visit you. Esme is going to bring her here and so she can see what we've finished. So, let's get this wall drawn up so that we can start having fun with the paints!" Bella held Tansy in one arm as she picked up a pencil with the opposite hand and began drawing again.

She knew the design would be a hit. Esme's beloved city was all around the room in the background, hidden behind the zoo and the park. Of course, Bella had to make a few compromises, she knew that the zoo she was drawing was neither Lincoln Park Zoo nor Brookfield Zoo, but she hoped that Esme would recognize it more for its symbol than the real deal.

While they lived in the city where Lincoln Park Zoo was, Bella lived in the suburbs not far from Brookfield Zoo was and where they had all visited together. She combined element of both into the room, keeping it whimsical and childlike but not too babyish so that the children could grow to appreciate Chicago's skyline that she was including into the background.

When she heard pounding on the stairs outside the room, Bella stopped her drawing. As Esme poked her head in, she sucked in a breath, staring around her at all the details that Bella had managed to complete. The two women talked a bit about how the room was coming along and where the design was headed. Bella, on her guard now that she knew first-hand how devious Esme Cullen was, kept the conversation focused on the room.

Esme, being Esme, ended the conversation by trying to strong arm Bella into staying the night. The two women talked a bit and while Bella acknowledged that Tansy would be a great deal happier with no car trip, Bella was needed at home to go over details of the fundraiser with Seth. It was only after hearing this did Esme Cullen acquiesce to let Bella return home for the night with a promise of arriving back bright and early Saturday morning.

Bella sent silent thanks to Heaven later when on her drive home Tansy managed to sleep the entire trip. Her thanks was short lived when she realized about a mile from her hone that smoke was starting to blow out from under the hood of her car. Deciding it was best to just get home, she drove it the rest of the way. Shaking her head as she climber out of the vehicle, Bella couldn't help but think that if it wasn't one thing going wrong, it would be another. Sure, Tansy slept, but now she would be stuck with a huge car repair bill that she really couldn't afford. She would have rather traded and had the screaming infant for the car trip home. No one knew better than Bella that the twisted hand of fate knocked at the worst possible time.

Still, Bella couldn't help but laugh at the sight that greeted her. Jasper came running down the driveway with Alice clinging frantically to his back. They were laughing and playing and Bella envied their care-free attitude. She sighed through the smoke and called a quick hello as they approached her.

"What's up doc?" Alice did a Bugs Bunny impersonation as Jasper squatted to let her climb down easier.

"Oh you know, same old same old. Guess I need to find a mechanic to fix this." Waving toward the car with one hand, Bella jammed her other into her jeans pocket.

"Why not ask Rose to take a look at it? She's a master mechanic, didn't you know?" Looking at Bella with her head cocked, Alice said the words like she didn't believe Bella missed out on that information when it was shared.

"I don't think I knew that. She never told me." Bella was sure that if the information was given out, she would have remembered.

"Well, maybe you were daydreaming when she said it. Ask her this weekend if she can take a look at it." Alice shook her head, still not believing that Bella didn't know. "I'm going to get the mail; what time is supposed Seth coming over?"

"Any time now, he's the only reason I didn't just stay over tonight. Now that I have no car, I wish I would have left it there for Rose to look over. Are you going back tonight?" Grabbing at straws as she lifted her daughter's seat out, she wondered if she could bum a ride back tomorrow with Jasper and Alice.

"Alice was coming back with me tonight. We can come back tomorrow morning for you if you want, although you know, Edward would give his left nut to come back and pick you up." Jasper said the words and Bella almost dropped the car seat in shock. Alice appeared undisturbed as she replied.

"His right one too probably, just call him and ask him to." Alice's words faded as she moved across the driveway to get the mail from the box. While Jasper helped Bella with the seat, Alice pulled the mail from the box, including an official looking envelope that was folded and crammed in with the usual bills and junk mail. As she read the return address, Alice's face frowned. She knew what was in that envelope and suddenly wished she was anywhere but there.

Crossing back over the driveway and joining up with Jasper and Bella, Alice reached for Jasper's freehand. She gripped it tightly, alerting him to look down at her. He did so briefly before she nodded at the mail in her hand. Bella, still carrying her daughter to the house and up the steps, paid no attention.

As they entered the house, Bella set her daughter on the floor in the living room so she could take the bag from Jasper. Instead, she was surprised to find Alice thrusting the mail at her.

"Here's your mail Bella." Alice handed her a few pieces in a pile, all resting on top of the larger envelope, she quickly looked away as she and Jasper unloaded Tansy and her bag and got them settled into her room.

"I wonder what this is?" Bella said, turning the large envelope over in her hands and opening it as she tossed the other mail on a nearby table.

Alice immediately went into Jasper's arms, bracing herself for the upcoming bad news. Jasper, not knowing what was about to happen, held her tightly, as they focused their attention on Bella, her daughter's needs all but forgotten.

"Oh! No, he can't do this!" Bella's hands shook as they gripped the paper. Tears were already starting to fall down her cheeks as she sank to the floor and wailed.

Bella's sobs appeared to have an effect on Alice and with each sob, she cringed in Jasper's arms. He held her gently, placing kisses every so often on the top of her head and murmuring that he will help in whatever way he can.

At last Bella seemed to have cried herself out and she crinkled the papers together in her little fists.

"Bella, what's wrong?" Jasper now became concerned as Bella began mutilating the papers. He sat Alice on the couch and reached for the papers, prying them from Bella's grip.

"Jacob. It's Jacob, oh how can he do this? I know how he did this to me, but to her too? How can he do this to her?" Bella's words weren't making sense and Jasper still crouching next to her on the floor, put one comforting arm around her as he held the papers with the other and tried to comprehend the information.

"Son of a bitch." Were Jasper's only words. Alice looked up at him, spooked by the sound of his voice. They were only four words, but spoken with such a quiet venomous quality, Alice was scared and didn't mind that Jasper stayed by Bella to comfort her.

After a few minutes, when Bella was finally cried out she looked over at Alice. Her face was blotchy and wet, Alice couldn't tell if it was from tears, snot, or spit as Bella's mouth hung open in shock, or a combination of the three.

"Jacob wants a divorce. From me and Tansy both. He is terminating all his parental rights to her Alice." Covering up her face with her hands Bella sobbed a few more times as the realization hit home again. "He's completely giving up on her!"

Jasper was torn once again as the tears started to fall down Alice's face too. He motioned to her with his hand like a child would and, still holding onto Bella with one arm, dropped the paper as Alice flung herself into his other.

He fell back from the force and moved his legs to sit cross legged as he held the two women as they cried. He may have appeared calm and collected on the outside, but inside Jasper was fuming and resolved that Jacob Black would regret the day he decided to leave his wife and child.

Finally collecting herself, Bella clumsily stood halfway before tripping and steadying herself on Jasper's arms. She tried again and as she stood she made her way over to her daughter who was still asleep, not being affected by the noise of hers and Alice's cries at all. Fresh tears began to fall as she stared down on _her_ daughter. Sleeping or not, her arms ached to hold the baby, to feel her, to know she was real.

Picking her up gently, she clung to the warm bundle tightly as she fell onto the soft carpet. She rocked her gently, side to side and back and forth. Over and over again in her head Bella made promises to her daughter. Promises she intended to keep come hell or high water. She was the only family that Tansy had left and she was not going to give up on her. For as helpless as the little baby was, Bella came to the realization that she was just as helpless and she could not decide if she needed her daughter more than her daughter needed her.

A short time later, this is how Jasper and Alice found her. Having collected themselves in the other room before approaching her Alice kneeled down and hugged her tightly.

"Why don't you join us tonight Bella? Jasper can drive us all in his car and we can spend the weekend putting this into perspective and deciding on a plan." Alice tried to make her words seem fun, as if the whole problem was a game to be played and not another mountain for Bella to have to climb while carrying her daughter.

"I'm really not hungry right now, but please, you two go ahead. Tomorrow I'll call Edward; Seth should be coming anyway." Bella stayed planted on the floor not daring to take her eyes away from her daughter.

"Seth has been here and has already gone Bella. We let him in and he saw how upset we were so we explained to him know what went on and he took off. He poked his head in and tried to talk to you but you were so deep in thought you didn't hear him." Alice rubbed her back in gently, slow circles. "He said he will let you know the details, and you just need to show up. He's going to take care of everything."

"Oh good. That's good news right?" Bella's vice took on a dreamy tone as she gazed the her daughter's mouth, sucking firmly on the thumb planted between the lips, the sucking and breathing motion letting Bella know she was alive. She concentrated harder on Tansy's chest, watching it rise and fall, studying the rhythm and committing it to her memory. Running her fingers through the baby's soft hair, Bella hummed a simple lullaby.

"Bella we are going to their house, are you coming with us or not." Alice stood, fully prepared to either have Bella move to pack and leave, or make eye contact and say she was staying put. Either way, Alice resolved that she was going to make Bella wake up out of her stupor and acknowledge her.

Finally looking up at Jasper and Alice, Bella answered. "You guys go on ahead. I'll call Edward in the morning and let him know when to pick us up. I'm just going to spend the night here tonight." Bella answered, but still didn't move from her space on the floor. Even as they said their goodbyes, she stayed on the floor, rocking her daughter.

As soon as Bella heard Jasper's car leave, she stood and placed Tansy back in her crib. She went to the basement studio and came back with a small jar of paint, perfectly labeled as were all of the colors she blended herself. She made a habit of keeping a small amount of each color in case she needed it for touch ups. The jar was labeled 'Tansy's room – banner'. Taking a brush from a small cup and a rag from a pile on the bench, she turned to go back upstairs. As an afterthought, she grabbed one of her old button down maternity shirts that she now used as an art smocks. With a new determination, she made her way back up to her daughter's room.

She placed the items on the floor and crossed over to the crib. Picking up her daughter she moved silently into her own bedroom. She lay the sleeping baby down in the middle of her bed and moved pillows to surround her. Even though Tansy wasn't yet rolling over (although by now she certainly should be), she always erred on the side of caution so she couldn't get hurt. Once back in her daughter's room, she opened the window, mindful of leaving the screen up to keep bugs and critters outside. She wasn't painting a big area, but knew the fumes would linger and this close to surgery, she was taking no chances of Tansy getting sick.

She opened the paint and carefully dipped the brush in the pan and dabbed off the excess. Talking out loud to herself, she concentrated on the task in front of her. "Okay Jacob, you win." Bella's words were barely a whisper. "I'll let you win this time because you aren't worth it, and you, don't, deserve, her!" Bella felt as if each word cleansed her soul as she painted over the one, single word that was her last connection to Jacob – Black.

With a determined sigh, and feeling better than she had in a long time, Bella cleaned up the paint brush in the kitchen sink and then went back to survey the results. Once dry, she would paint a new word there – Swan.

Growing up, she never really cared for her own last name, and she was so proud of Jacob that she readily agreed to change to his. Now, she turned the name over in her mind. She would go back to her own name, to being Bella Swan.

She vaguely remembered who Bella Swan was before she met Jacob. Standing in the room watching the paint dry, she wondered if she would feel differently. She knew it would take time to get used to it but she smiled a bit remembering parts of her childhood. Her daughter was another story. She had never been anything besides Tansy Black.

"Tansy Elizabeth _Swan_." She rolled it over and over in her mind before saying it out loud. Turning out the light, she nodded to herself as she shut the door to leave the fumes escape through the open window without chilling the whole house. "It's just perfect." She made her way back to her own room to her daughter. Tonight it would be just the two of them.

Back at the Cullen's, Esme looked around her table and frowned. "I really wish Bella would have stayed tonight. She was so insistent on talking to Seth about this fundraiser." Esme made eye contact with Alice, opening up the conversation and hoping that more details would be divulged.

"Well, Seth stopped by but Bella wasn't in a mood to talk. She had a rough ride home, what with her car ride and all." Alice looked guiltily over at Esme before concentrating her look on Jasper.

"Was Tansy giving her trouble? She should have called me." Edward looked at Alice confused as to why Bella wouldn't call.

"Well, her car barely made it home and I don't think she wanted to be that much of a bother. This is Bella we're talking about you know." Alice said the words dismissively to Edward but was so unnerved by his stare that she quickly turned to Rose and changed the subject. "Rose, I did mention that you could maybe take a look at the car the next time you come out by us. I don't think it will be moving any time soon." Edward wasn't fooled and watched Alice like a hawk.

As Rose grilled Alice and Jasper about Bella's car trouble, Alice began fidgeting under Edward's intense stare. As food began being passed, she almost caved and spilled the whole story as she knew it to the Cullen family. Just as she started to speak, the phone rang. 'Saved by the bell.' Alice thought as she breathed a sigh of relief. Her relief was short lived as she listened to the half of the phone conversation she could hear and knew who it was on the other line. It was Esme Cullen who stood from the table to answer the phone.

"Cullen residence." She said with perfect manners. "Of course. Right. I don't remember but I'll ask and if you are sure this is what you want to do. Of course, you know we are here to help you in any way we can. I wish you would have stayed for dinner. Yes, but she didn't mention it to us." Esme gave Alice a quick look. "I see. Well, you give Tansy a giant hug from Carlisle and I. I'll give you the information tomorrow; you are still planning on joining us tomorrow right? Take care Bella. Good night."

The group around the table suddenly stopped eating, except Emmett who seemed oblivious. Everyone pushed food around their plates.

"Carlisle, that was Bella." Esme said the words, keeping her voice calm. "When you get a moment, she wants the name of the lawyer you mentioned to her last time she was over." Esme took a sip of her water glass. "Apparently Bella has a legal problem that she needs help with." Again Esme stared over at Alice who shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

"Of course, I'll give it to her tomorrow morning." Carlisle looked over at his wife. "Is everything alright then?"

"Well, it appears that Bella has heard from her estranged husband and she needs legal counsel in order to take him to court." Esme's eyes implored Carlisle to continue asking questions.

"Well, since he hasn't been heard from, he really shouldn't have a say in anything." Carlisle responded, picking up his water glass and swallowing down a gulp. "Was there any particular issue that she needed help with?" Carlisle directed the question at Alice, who was still fidgeting nervously.

"Well, it's really not my place to say but I am going to anyway. Jasper and I were at the house this afternoon when a letter came. Bella never mentioned wanting to go back to Jacob, and I know that she had no intention of it but just can't afford a divorce lawyer right now. She just wanted him to make some kind of acknowledgement toward Tansy. As it turns out, he made an un-acknowledgement so to say, of her." Alice made a face like she had just tasted poison.

"What do you mean 'un-acknowledgement' Alice? Is that even a word?" Rose looked utterly confused as she tried to figure out what the hidden meaning behind Alice's words was.

"Bella's first attorney didn't work out too well." Jasper looked at Rose. "Bella and Alice told me the story. She was insisting that Bella should ask Jacob for more money, as if she would. This has _never_ been about money for Bella." Jasper looked in Edward's direction.

"So, what is the story then?" Rose asked.

Esme continued for Alice who was obviously struggling to keep it together. "Dear, the papers Bella received a petition for a divorce, but not only a divorce." Esme could barely continue herself.

"What else is there?" Carlisle asked as he set his napkin down and went to crouch down by his wife's chair to comfort her. "Esme, honey what's wrong?"

"Jacob's papers are also requesting that Bella change her and Tansy's name from Black to her maiden name Swan." Alice could barely continue. "He's…he is voluntarily terminating all his parental rights to Tansy." Alice started to sniffle as Jasper leaned over to her. After only a moment of hesitation, Rose reached over to Emmett and openly started to cry as Esme held desperately to Carlisle's torso.

"What? He's doing what?" Edward sat staring at his family, too stunned to say any more.

"It means he's giving up on Tansy, and he wants nothing further to do with her or Bella. They have no one now." Jasper kissed Alice head softly as he stared at Edward.

"Whoa, that is seriously fucked up. How does someone do that shit?" Emmett looked up from his chair as he awkwardly tried to hold his son in one arm while holding Rose as she held their daughter in hers.

Alice used her napkin to wipe her eyes and leaned away from Jasper to take a sip of water. "Well, most people wouldn't do that. But Jacob is, and always has been pretty obsessed with the perfect life. When he found Bella, she was, well perfect – except she doesn't see herself that way."

"No, she doesn't." Edward said agreeing as he made eye contact with Alice.

"When they were married they had the perfect wedding. They had the house that her father left her and they were going to fix it up until it was perfect. When she found out she was pregnant, it was perfect." Alice shrugged as she continued.

"Bella had no morning sickness, no swollen ankles, _barely_ any weight gain. She was plainly beautiful before, and being pregnant made her just stunning. I was there when Tansy was born. I won't say it wasn't difficult because you know I'd be lying, but it was pretty much textbook. Only after they let Jacob back in the room to cut the cord did anyone realize that something was wrong."

"He wasn't in the room with Bella during the birth? Shit, Rose would have had my head on a platter if I ditched her then." Emmett said the words with a smile as he kissed his wife lovingly. They all knew there was no place else Emmett Cullen would have rather been.

"When the diagnosis came, you should have seen Jacob snap. At one point he told Bella she was a genetic defect." Alice gritted her teeth as she continued to seethe out the words. "His request now is not only to divorce Bella, but to have her name and Tansy's name changed from Black to Swan. That's what the letter was. That's why Bella needs a lawyer. She had every intention of divorce and changing their names anyway, Jacob pulling this stunt just makes it more urgent – as if she doesn't have enough on her mind right now."

"Alice, didn't you…_see_ any of this?" Rose wasn't sure how to put the words without offending Alice.

"Oddly enough, I did. I saw Bella reacting very badly to a letter from a lawyer. I hate to say it, especially on Mother's Day weekend, but at first I actually hoped it was something saying Renee was killed in an accident. I really hoped it had nothing to do with Jake." Alice finished with a determined tone in her voice as Jasper gently rubbed her back and nodded his approval at her.

Edward stood from the table and placed his napkin on his recently vacated chair. "I'll see everyone in the morning." He left the room with everyone staring after him.


	9. Chapter 9 Grounded

Thank you all so much for the great reviews!

I have to admit that I own nothing except the story line and he character of Tansy. Everything else belongs to Stephenie.

These next few chapters are going to move the story along a little more slowly. After all, Bella is spending an entire weekend with the Cullen family. There is simply no way I could cram that much fun, serious conversation and drama into one chapter. Thank you again for sticking with me and for all the support. Y'all ROCK!

Chapter 09 Grounded

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"Esme, please do not put yourself through any trouble. We'll be there in about an hour. Sure, I plan on asking Edward to stop so I can pick up a few things I'll need for the weekend. Sure. Okay; thanks again for sending Edward last night. It was nice to have someone else in the house even with how crummy I was feeling." Bella held her phone to her ear and Edward could tell that she was glaring at him; her eyes seemed to pierce right through his skin. "Hmm, he said you and Alice sent him over. Alright Esme, I'll let him know."

Edward's glance at Bella sent shivers through his spine. Even with her sunglasses on, he clearly caught her glare. He tried to make his voice sound casual. "What's up?"

"Some-body's in trouble." Bella's voice sang through Edward's car and she lightly punched his upper arm, making him wince. "Why didn't you just tell me it was you that wanted to stay over? Why the unnecessary lie?"

"Bella, really. If I would have said it was me wanting to stay over of my own accord you never would have let me. It had to come from a much higher being. I didn't think you would believe me if I said 'God sent me'. My mom was the natural choice."

"I suppose you're right. You're getting away with it this time Cullen but only because tomorrow is Mother's Day." Bella smiled and lifted her sunglasses on to her head to hold back her hair. As they drove east into the rising sun, squinting her eyes, Bella gently moved her hand onto the back of Edward's neck. "Seriously Edward, no more lying to me. Alright?"

"Deal." Edward glanced over giving her a smile as she pulled her sunglasses back down to avoid the sunlight reflecting off the windshield. "So, Tansy seems to like my driving." Edward was thankful that the little girl was actually quiet, and wondered if it was because she heard both their voices. He was still in awe of the baby girl but was set on learning more about her…and her mom.

Looking over at Edward, Bella smiled as she leaned her head back against the seat and relaxed. "Maybe it's just my car she doesn't like. Usually she's screaming by this point."

"Well, my car does give a bit of a smoother ride than yours. I usually drive my work truck so anytime you want to use the car just say so. There's an extra set of keys at the house. So, what did my Mother say to you anyway?" Edward asked.

"Could we pick up some corn on the cob and watermelon? I was going to ask you to stop at the store anyway." Bella smiled as she took in Edward's profile while he drove.

"Sure." Edward smoothly maneuvered the car through traffic and changed lanes as they entered the expressway.

"Did I tell you that Seth heard from Jake's father in Washington? Jake was there a few weeks ago because Billy was sick. Apparently he isn't doing too well and asked Seth to send him a few pictures of his granddaughter. Seth's already started making up fliers and putting ads in the paper for the fundraiser. He said all I need to do is show up with Tansy. He seems to be stepping up where her father's side dropped off." Bella looked over at Edward as he drove.

"I like Seth, he isn't afraid to step up and admit when he's wrong." Edward was remembering his first meeting with the man. "By the way, when you get the fliers, I'd like to put up a few at work. Usually when people ask for support like that there's a good turnout. Would that be too awkward for you or would it be helpful to you to have my workers be there?" Edward asked first to make sure. He wasn't going to take any chances now in overstepping his bounds.

"No, I think that'd be fine. Will the ones who helped you with the nursery window be there? I'd like to thank them." Bella asked sincerely.

"I thought we already established that you were asking my family to go." Edward looked at her briefly before he gave a little laugh.

"What do you mean your family? Do you mean Jasper and Emmett helped you with that window?" Bella looked awed and sat up straighter in her passenger seat.

"Well, Carlisle helped a little too. Besides, Jasper and Emmett have both worked with me on various projects. And Carlisle is a demon at double checking measurements and being precise. I think he had fun cutting into something that wasn't human." Edward and Bella both laughed together.

"Well, now that room will mean that much more. It should be finished in a couple of weeks. Um, Edward, do you think you could maybe babysit a little this weekend if I spend some time in the room working?" Bella hedged a bit as she asked.

"Bella. As proud as I am for asking me to help, I am afraid that the answer is no. I have no intention of letting you work this weekend while we are all having fun. I will be happy to babysit for you on Monday if you want and then I'll drive you home on Monday night. Does that work for you?" Edward looked at her apologetically then seriously, over at Bella but relaxed as he saw her smile.

"Thank you Edward. I'd like that a lot. Are you sure it won't mess you up with work?" Bella was worried about him taking so much time off to be with her.

"Silly girl. I own the company, and I trust my foreman. I make my own hours, and if I want to take Monday off, I will. I wouldn't have offered otherwise." Edward reached over for her hand and kissed it softly.

Bella leaned her head back in the seat and just watched as the outside world passed her by. She snapped out of her daydream as she saw a small group of similar looking canopies set up in the parking lot of a strip mall.

"Oh Edward, a Farmer's Market! Please can we stop here?" Bella was already unbuckling her belt.

"Bella, put that belt back on. I missed the turn, I'll have to go back around. Do you have the stroller for Tansy?" Edward glanced in his rear view mirror and signaled a turn.

"No, but I have the sling in the diaper bag. Have you ever been to a Farmer's Market before?" Looking over at Edward, Bella tried to rein in her happiness at having found one so close to the city.

"No, usually Esme does the shopping. We all just write stuff down on Post-It notes and stick them in the kitchen." Edward turned back around signaling for the parking lot.

"Well, you are in for a treat. These things are fun. Alice and I go when we are both off work and have nothing planned. Sometimes you can get the owners to drop off your groceries for you. I love going to these things. It's so much more fun than going into a big store where no one even makes eye contact." Bella started bouncing around in her seat.

"I'll take your word for it." Edward expertly pulled into a spot and shut off the car. "Let's go do this."

As Bella reached in the back seat for the diaper bag she had a thought. She grabbed the cloth sling out of the bag and carried it over to the other side of the car. She tapped Edward on the shoulder as he started to reach into the car for Tansy. When he straightened up to ask her what she wanted, she threw the sling over his body, causing him to fall back against the car.

"If you really wanted to tie me up, all you had to do was say so." Edward said as he regained his footing. Bella was suddenly nervous.

"Well, I just thought that you'd like to play mama kangaroo. It's either carry Tansy or the groceries. I'm trying to make it easier on you. Which would you prefer?" Bella could barely get the words out.

"This is fine. But you better fix it and make sure it's secure. I don't know anything about this stuff – don't forget I'm still learning." Edward put his hands on his hips and stood in front of Bella.

"That makes two of us. Come here big guy." She reached over adjusting the straps securely against his chest. "Pull these snug so that she will be lying right against here." Bella put her hand across Edward's chest and felt his hard chest muscles clench, even underneath the fabric of the sling and his t-shirt. Losing herself in the moment, she quickly pulled away.

As Bella reached into the car for Tansy she gathered her thoughts. She couldn't believe how perfect Edward was. Bad thoughts crept into her head. No, she corrected herself, not bad, _naughty_.

She had been furious when she opened the door last night and found him there. She had just wanted to be alone with her daughter and instead ended up playing host even though Edward told her he was just there to keep her company as per Esme's instructions. Somehow, hearing from Esme this morning that he had come to her of his own accord made Bella love him all the more. Love?

Still reaching into the car to retrieve her daughter, Bella quickly straightened up as she realized she used the word love. She hadn't spoken it out loud, but it was definitely in her thoughts. Straightening up too quickly she smashed her head against the car door frame. Grateful that she didn't have her daughter in her arms at the time she once again attempted to straightened up and rub her head; she allowed herself to be comforted by Edward as he pulled her into his arms.

She loved Edward. Standing here in his arms now, the thought fully hit her as much as her head hit the car. Yes, she was in love with Edward Cullen. And after spending almost the entire night talking to him about absolutely nothing in particular, she realized it even more.

Reaching her arms around his waist she leaned right up against his chest as he gently touched the spot where her head had hit. She didn't even flinch. To her, it just felt right that she should stay there. Still holding him around his waist, she felt his lips gently touch the spot. She glanced up, still wearing her sunglasses against the early morning sunlight.

"Thank you." Bella said as she turned her head upright, making sure to stay locked in their embrace.

"You are welcome. When we get to the house, we'll put ice on it to keep the swelling down." Edward rubbed Bella's back gently as she nuzzled into his chest against the empty sling.

"I don't just mean my head Edward. I mean for staying with me last night. For just calming me down. For just being there." Bella tried to infuse her words with as much sincerity and love as she could without giving herself away.

"I sent Jasper and Alice away thinking I wanted to be alone, but it felt really good to talk things out with you. A sort of unbiased third party.

Alice and I find it difficult to remain neutral and just start raging against Jacob and how unfair the world is. You gave me a new perspective and helped me look at things more clearly. I just want to say thank you."

"And again, I say 'you are welcome. This is what boyfriends are for; among other things." Edward dipped his head low to Bella's kissing her tenderly. "I'm not going anywhere Bella. Except to this little market thing. Let's get this done so we can go join the others at home."

Bella reluctantly pulled away from Edward and reached into the car again, being mindful of both their heads when pulling her daughter out. She sighed, placing her carefully into the sling strapped to Edward. Lucky little baby got to spend the morning all curled up against Edward's chest. As Bella made final adjustments, Tansy let out a small squeal and flayed her arms about. Clearly she was excited about the prospect of being carried by him. Bella gave Edward instructions on how to best support her inside the sling.

"You weren't kidding about the kangaroo part were you?" Edward took a few tentative steps to adjust to the new weight, as little as it was, it was still an awkward bundle. Reaching over for Bella's hand, he nodded his okay. "Come on Love; let's go get the shopping done." He said it as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

Bella stopped at nearly every stall, eventually losing Edward in the crowd. She looked across the aisle to saw him talking to a man who was pushing a stroller and laughed as they exchanged business cards.

The gesture should have been odd given the family setting and yet Edward managed to appear confident and manly even with an infant strapped to his chest. She moved down to the next stall, knowing her daughter was in good hands. Hearing her name a few minutes later, she turned and quickly crossed the space to Edward.

"Bella, come and taste this!" Edward was biting into a peach, catching the dripping juice into his opposite hand and carefully leaning over to avoid it dribbling onto her daughter. Bella laughed at how concerned he was.

She took the peach from his hands and bit into it before sucking the juice from it. She moaned at the sweetness. And a thought occurred to her. Reaching for one of the paper towels the vendor held out to them, she wiped one hand and held her daughter upright slightly. She rested the peach against her lips and they laughed as her little tongue flicked against the sweet fruit.

"Greedy little girl. You have to learn to share." Bella laughingly held up the fruit, offering it back to Edward. He looked at it uncertainly. Not wanting to offend Bella, but clearly not sure if it was okay. "She doesn't have anything you can catch Edward; it's safe." Shrugging, Bella bit back into the peach herself. She had dealt with people's ignorance of disabilities long enough and Edward by far had barely shown any at all. She was more than willing to let this little hiccup slide.

Laughing again when she saw her daughter's tongue flick out Bella held the peach at her lips again. "She'll be sticky, but nothing a good bath won't cure." Bella finished off the peach wiping her hands on another towel before reaching for a paper bag near the stand. She reached to put several into it while Edward looked over the stand, being extremely selective before picking a few.

"So, this weekend is going to be like an actual family backyard barbecue thing isn't it?" At Edward's nod, Bella continued, trying to ease up the awkwardness that remained. "It's exciting. This will be our first. Of course, we have to borrow someone else's family to do it, but it'll be fun."

Bella paid the vendor and thanked the man again before turning to Edward and Tansy. Edward was just staring at the small creature nestled in front of him.

"Thanks for carrying her around Edward, and for including us." Bella reached up kissing his peach flavored lips, careful of the lump laying between them. She brushed her hand over Tansy's head and laughed softly.

"What's so funny?" Edward asked, licking his own lips as his brow continued to crease in thought.

"I was just talking about your family, and here I am with mine. It's just that most people would be asking if you think our families will get along, will they like each other? I already know the answer to that question by the way. But you are literally carrying my whole family on your person. It just struck me as funny and more than a little pathetic that my whole family fits easily into your pouch." Bella laughed as Edward made a grab for her.

"Bella, someday, when all this is done, you and Tansy will be my family in every sense of the word." Edward leaned in and kissed her again.

"We'll see Edward; let's just enjoy this weekend okay?" Bella pulled his hand along to the next vendor, tired of thinking ahead to such an uncertain future. Her mind raced as she tried to push images aside in her mind, would her daughter even _have_ a future?

Soon, Bella and Edward were both loaded down with fresh fruits and vegetables, along with all natural peanut butter and some very fresh honey.

"I really need to start remembering the stroller. It would come in handy right now." Bella stretched her tired arm muscles as they made their way back to Edward's car. She heard Edward agree with a laugh.

"This was interesting. I've never been to one before." Edward agreed with her. "I didn't think you would buy so much."

"Ed, hey Edward." A voice called to them from nowhere, causing them to stop.

Bella turned her head to see a man and a woman with a little boy sitting on top of the man's shoulders.

"Hi Ben, Angela. How are you?" Edward shook hands with Ben before leaning down to greet the woman with a friendly kiss on her cheek.

Bella's jealousy was calmed only by the fact that the woman was obviously with the man, and she was very obviously pregnant. Bella looked up at Edward expecting him to introduce her.

"Hi, I'm Angela." Angela stuck her hand out to Bella, obviously Edward hadn't figured out yet that Bella didn't know them.

"I'm sorry, I forgot. Angela and Ben, this is my girlfriend Bella, and her daughter Tansy. Bella, these are the Weber's, Ben and Angela. Ben and I work together." Edward reached up to shake the little boy's hand. "And this is Matthew, who will be working with us before we know it."

"I thought that was you, but I've never run into you here before. What brings you out this way?" Ben asked as he tried to distract his stare from Tansy.

"Bella wanted to stop and do a little shopping for Esme." Edward replied, dismissing himself from the conversation. He decided instead to focus on Ben's wife. "So, you look good Angela, how do you feel?"

"Grateful. I'm just happy to be out of the house. My bed rest restriction was removed as long as I don't do any lifting. I can waddle just fine though." Angela began to laugh as their son joined in.

"Mama waddles like a duck, but doesn't quack like a duck." Matthew replied while the adults all laughed.

"That's right kiddo, and if it doesn't look like a duck or talk like a duck it isn't a duck." Ben jumped slightly, causing his son to laugh atop his shoulders.

"Angela has been on bed rest for, what three weeks?" Edward looked over at Ben as he tried to explain their situation to Bella.

"Geez, she can probably tell you, I gave up trying to keep track – they all blur together. I really appreciate you giving me the time off to be with her though man. That was really decent of you. And all the stuff your mom sent over really helped." Ben looked at Angela who nodded appreciatively.

"It's been twenty four days of continuous bed rest, thank you very much. But Ben is right Edward. I really appreciate you letting him have the time off to be there for us. Not to mention all the meals Esme had delivered to the house and all the clothes! Did she tell you it's a girl?" Angela's face showed nothing but pure contentment.

"How lovely." Bella couldn't help but join in on the conversation. "Have you given any thoughts to names?" Bella asked politely.

"We're leaning toward Molly." Angela now addressed Bella. "Edward's been so decent giving Ben all this extra time off. And Esme's been helping me too. I've been having a harder time getting through this pregnancy for some reason. It's taken more out of me than when I had Matthew. I have a weak cervix, so basically, I'm useless until the baby is born. Hey, your daughter looks just like you." Angela reached over to stroke Tansy's soft cheek as he head peeked out from the pouch.

"Thank you, I hear that a lot actually. It's true though, she does look just like me. She hardly resembles her father at all." Bella leaned into Edward's shoulder for support as he hugged her back, clearly understanding her double meaning.

"We should get going before Emmett starts eating Esme's furniture. It was great to see you Angela. And don't worry, the pregnancy completely agrees with you." Edward reached into his back pocket to pull out his wallet. He handed Angela his business card. "In case Ben hesitates to ask. If you need anything, please call me at either of those numbers. Ben, I'll see you on Tuesday. If you need more time, by all means take it and just let me know. You know we've got you covered. Alright?" Edward kissed Angela's cheek gently then shook hands with Ben and Matthew.

"It was nice to meet you Angela." Bella shook hands with the little family. Again, she was struck by how normal everything seemed when she was with Edward. Bella took the keys from Edward and opened the trunk to put the groceries into the small net so they wouldn't roll everywhere. She walked around so that she could help Edward but he had already taken Tansy out and was busy strapping her in.

"That was very nice of you, to give Ben time off like that." Bella said seriously with just a hint of jealousy. She had been fired when she had taken off too much time to be with her daughter. "Not too many people would do that." The topic hit a nerve with Bella that she couldn't ignore.

"I'm not most people. Didn't you get time off when you had Tansy?" Edward asked as they both got into the car and buckled their belts.

"Yeah, but afterward, when I needed the time off to stay with her because she was sick, I was fired. Basically I had to let them fire me so that I could keep my insurance. Although the rates for it are huge, I really can't be without it at this time. That's part of the reason why Seth offered to have a fundraiser too, to help with all the bills. I think he knows Jacob isn't sending me anything." Bella reached over again for Edwards hand and intertwined their fingers before letting them rest in the middle.

They drove in complete silence for a while and Bella was stunned when out of the blue Edward started talking. It wasn't that he started talking, it was more his choice of words.

"I apologize Bella." The words were quietly spoken and sincerely said with just a trace of sadness.

"For what?" Bella searched her mind for something that Edward had done that he would feel a need to apologize for. She came on it after only a moment's hesitation. "The peach."

"I can't believe I did that. After everything I've said about how it doesn't matter to me." Edward shook his head and Bella wished he wasn't wearing his sunglasses so she could see his eyes as she looked over at him.

"Edward. Listen to me. I thought nothing of that. Your reaction didn't bother me in the least." Bella shook his hand, trying to shake him out of his sudden melancholy.

"It doesn't bother you? It sure as hell bothers me." The words came out with a growl and Bella almost laughed.

"Remember, I've been her mom longer than you've been around her. I'm used to people treating her differently." Bella let go of his hand and put hers instead on the back of his neck. "Hey, I guarantee the more time you spend with her, the more you are going to see people's reactions and the more you will hate it."

"You're so calm about it. Doesn't anything bother you?" Edward glanced over at her quickly before returning his eyes to the road.

"Of course it bothers me Edward. But if she has taught me nothing else, she taught me to develop a thicker skin." Bella softened her words and kept touching him, trying to ease his awkwardness. "Hey, don't let it ruin this weekend Edward, please?"

At the desperate sound of Bella's words, Edward sighed. Knowing how much she was looking forward to spending the weekend with him, or rather, his family, he resolved that she had been through enough the last few days. He let the matter go as they pulled into the driveway.

"I'll just need to make it up to her some kind of way." Edward said with a smile as he smoothly parked his car behind someone else's in the driveway.

"I am sure Tansy didn't notice a thing, Edward. Relax." Bella smiled and leaned over to kiss him before getting out of the car.

"If you want to take Tansy in, I'll carry the groceries to the kitchen." Edward said as he unbuckled his seatbelt and got out.

"Sure, I think I'm going to just bring the whole carrier in anyway; at least she'll have a place to stay in. We've never slept anywhere except home and the hospital before, so I wasn't sure what to bring. I guess I should have cleared up the sleeping arrangements beforehand." Bella looked extremely embarrassed.

"You will sleep in my room with Tansy of course silly. If it makes you uncomfortable, I'll sleep on the chair and you two can share the bed. Please don't overthink this Bella. We are going to have a good time this weekend." Edward leaned over kissing her ever so softly, that it left her wanting more.

She was stopped from deepening the kiss as they heard the front door open. Suddenly Alice came jumping down the steps with Jasper close behind wearing nothing but a pair of pajama bottoms and slippers that had seen better days. Bella's jaw dropped and formed into a laugh when she noticed that Alice was wearing sweatpants that were way too big on her and the pajama top that matched Jasper's bottoms. Edward caught her look and laughed with her as he began collecting the bags from the trunk.

"You're staying the weekend! This will be so much fun Bella." Alice ran up to her as she released Edward. She pulled Alice into a hug.

"Since when do you wear cotton pajamas and sweatpants?" Bella whispered into her friend's ear.

Alice just laughed as she hiked the pants up higher. As she reached into the car to take Tansy, Bella was wrapped into yet another hug, this time Jasper's arms came around her.

"How're you doing Bella? Alice is glad you're finally here – we all are actually, but her in particular. She was worried about you last night." Jasper left one arm around Bella's shoulder as they began to walk toward the house, distracting her from carrying anything.

Bella stopped and ducked out of Jasper's arm as she walked quickly to the trunk and Edward. Noticing that he had already loaded himself down with the groceries, she began collecting their overnight bags.

"Each day, one at a time Jasper; this morning's been really good. I have to admit though; there were so many bad ones before. It seems like since I've met Esme, and all of you, we have had more good days than bad. You all better be careful, I could get use to this treatment." The lightness in Bella's words caused Edward to smile as he leaned down to kiss her quickly before disappearing into the house.

"That's the plan girlfriend." Alice danced around Jasper and Bella with Tansy in her arms. Making small talk in the driveway, they stopped once Edward banged the front door again, his somber look killing the happy vibes instantly.

"Well, I hope this doesn't kill off the good vibes out here, but Esme wants to see Bella in the kitchen – now." Edward looked guilty as he followed his mother's orders.

"Edward, you look like you just got grounded." Bella tried to laugh but looked at Edward seriously.

"Don't laugh - I think I may have just gotten us both grounded Bella. When Esme Cullen talks, the Cullen men listen." Edward looked over at her apologetically.

"Better you and Bella than Alice and I." Jasper smirked. "I'll just take these bags to your room, alright Edward?" Jasper reached taking the bags from Bella's hands. "Good luck you two. Let me know how it turns out for you."

The couples separated in the main foyer with Jasper and Alice taking Tansy then disappearing up the stairs. Edward and Bella walked slowly into the kitchen.

Esme was seated at the island on a barstool. She had all of the items Bella had purchased laid out on the island in front of her. Edward was right, she did not look happy.

"Isabella, can you explain all this?" Esme was definitely cross.

"Well, um, I was hungry? I was just going to pick up the corn and watermelon but we drove by a farmer's market and I guess I got carried away." Bella was beet red and not use to being under a microscope by a parent. Charlie was never one for arguing even when he was around, and more often than not, Bella found herself acting like a parent to Renee.

"Okay, but how did it get here? I gave you specific instructions. There were only two things. I hope you at least let Edward pay for them?" Esme looked at Bella, clearly waiting for an answer.

"Uh, he was holding Tansy and it was just easier for me to pay, I swear otherwise I would have totally let him pay." Bella began grabbing at straws trying to ease Esme's anger.

"Isabella! I will say this once, and only once because you don't know any better. While you are a guest in my home, you will not, and I mean ever, purchase anything without my instruction. If there is something special you want, you write it on a sticky-note and paste it somewhere in the kitchen where I can see it." Esme opened a drawer and showed Bella where the sticky notes and writing utensils were kept to drive her point home. "Do I make myself clear sweetheart?" Esme came over to give her a hug, but Bella still felt like she needed to explain and began talking as Esme turned to put the groceries away.

"Oh, Edward told me about the sticky-note thing, but I was just so excited about the Farmer's Market that I didn't think it was a big deal." Bella felt Edward jab her lightly in the ribs.

"Does the phrase 'quit while you're ahead' mean _anything_ to you at all?" Edward whispered as he bumped Bella's hip with his own.

"I heard that Edward." Esme looked cross again as she stared at them. "Just for that, you two are going to help me with dinner tonight. I expect to see you two back here at 4 pm to help. That's all." Esme turned and began putting away the groceries Bella had purchased.

Edward led Bella out of the room. As they pushed open the door, they heard a thump followed by a series of shouts and even bigger thuds. Once the door was completely open, they saw Emmett rubbing his head and Jasper, Alice, and Rose piled in a heap.

"Way to take out the whole team there Edward." Emmett rubbed his head.

"What on Earth were you all doing?" Bella could not believe that they were eavesdropping on her as if they were kids.

"I was just listening to make sure I wasn't going to get in trouble. I don't know what they were doing." Emmett thumbed his finger towards Rose, Jasper, and Alice.

"Emmett, when you see someone crouched down with their ear against a door, you know full well that everyone needs to know what is going on." Jasper slowly pulled Alice to her feet as he checked her for bruises.

"What are you guys, eight years old?" Bella sighed and walked around the pile of people.

"Edward and Bella, if you have nothing better to do, I can always find something for you to do now." At the sound of Esme's voice, Edward grabbed Bella's hand and led her out of the hallway as everyone else took off running. The whole group reconvened again on the second floor hallway.

"Where are all the babies anyway?" Bella asked as she stared at all the doors.

"In my room, sister-girl, you have got to finish that nursery soon. This whole rooming-in thing with the kids is just killing my sex life." Emmett looked over at Rose appreciatively.

"I'll try to get right on that Emmett. But I have instructions not to work on it this weekend at all. I do want to go take a look and see it now that everything so far has dried. Alice mentioned that a few furniture pieces arrived." Bella looked over at Rose and Alice excitedly as they inched their way toward the door of the nursery.

"Bella, you promised. No working." Edward stepped in front of her as she started to walk toward the girls.

"I just want a look Edward, besides, if Rose is willing to help…" Bella looked hopefully up at Edward as her words trailed off.

"No. No working this weekend. You promised me. Besides, thanks to you, we have to help cook dinner tonight." Edward tried his best to look mad.

"I'll just take a little peek then. I need to catch up with my girls." Bella whined and pointed back at Rose and Alice while Edward immediately gave in, allowing her a little free time.

Once inside the nursery, Alice quickly shut the door. "Okay, Bella, what was up with you and Edward? You must have done something wrong, I've never seen Esme so upset." Alice pulled her friend down onto the floor where Rose was already sitting.

"We stopped at a Farmer's Market. I bought some stuff for this weekend and she grounded me for it. Can she do that? I don't think I've ever been grounded before in my life." Bella looked over at Rose.

"Esme raised three boys Bella... if she grounds you, you better believe it. So, what do you have to do?" Rose asked the question sympathetically but there was a smile on her face.

"I guess I have to help make dinner. Geez, I've worked with her in the past, and I knew she was headstrong. But I've never been grounded before in my life! I'm not a child for crying out loud, I've never had to follow any rules." Bella looked upset.

"Oh Bella, you have to realize, that Esme consider us all hers. I know you and Edward haven't known each other very long. But consider it from her point of view. She's never seen him this happy; or enjoying life this much. With Edward it was always work, home, rinse and repeat. He has been so much more fun and easier to be around since he met you. He use to shy away from the twins big time and he still isn't as close to them as he is to Tansy but he's making progress toward being more comfortable around them."

As Bella began to argue against Rose's statement, Rose cut her off.

"It's true. I know how much that hurts Emmett, a lot more than he lets on. But lately it seems like Edward is at least happier around them. It's like he doesn't mind them as much since he met you and Tansy. He's just more accepting and happier. Just like you, Esme only has Edward's happiness in mind. And now because you are with him, she has yours too. Get it? You make Edward happy, so she wants to make you happy." Rose leaned over to rest her head on Bella's thigh.

"Well, we are all grownups here. I guess I should have paid more attention to what Edward was saying. I just hate being a sponge. I've never liked that feeling and this was my only way of contributing." Bella stretched out her legs to lay back on her elbows as she made herself take a good long look at the ceiling.

"Now you can contribute to dinner." Alice laughed lightly, poking fun of the fact that Bella was being punished by Esme. "Maybe this was just Esme's way of asking you, or telling you, to spend some time with her. You know, get to know her better outside of a work relationship. I know you've known of her for a long time now, and have worked with her in the past. But with you and Edward getting closer, let's just say that she knows you are a good co-worker, but she needs to make sure that you are a good enough person for her son. Does that make sense?" She stretched out and breathed deeply as she too, took in the ceiling that showed a bright blue sky with fat puffy clouds.

All three women now lay intertwined on the floor as they stared up at the ceiling Bella had painted.

"If only Chicago skies could always look this dreamy." Rose said as she shifted to one side, still using Bella's soft thigh as a pillow. "I just want to tell you both that although sometimes I act like a bitch, but it really is not who I am. It's just the way I grew up. Working in a male-dominated field, I have to take a lot of shit for being female. I never really had any girlfriends. You two are the best. This weekend is going to be a blast – like a sleepover huh?" Rose looked at Alice as she asked her question.

"I'm the wrong one to ask. I may be a girlie-girl, but Bella was really the first girlfriend I had. No one else ever wanted to be friends with someone on the piddlin' side of puny. It didn't matter how nice I was to people, I was always the little loner freak." Alice sighed, reaching over for Bella's hand.

"Well, I'm with you two on this one. Alice was my first real friend, and she didn't come along until college. We never really had any big, wild parties. It was always just us, making our own fun." Bella shifted over Rose to give Alice a hug. "So, now that there are three of us, we get to have even more fun! Rose is right; we should work on having fun this weekend. But first, I have to do some damage control. I guess I have some apologizing to do to Esme." Bella grabbed Alice and Rose close to her in a hug.

Bella caught up with Esme in the kitchen as she busily prepared a brunch. She noticed that many of the ingredients were from the fresh produce that she had purchased and she smiled. Stepping over to the coffeepot to pour herself a cup, Bella casually began what she hoped Esme accepted as an explanation.

"Esme, can I talk to you before Edward comes down? He's upstairs with Tansy." Bella was almost afraid to break the silence.

"Of course Bella. Was there something you needed?" As Esme continued to move around her kitchen gracefully, Bella noticed for the first time what the older woman was wearing.

An apron? Bella laughed to herself as she thought that no one uses aprons nowadays. Then retracted that thought as she took in Esme's pretty silk pajamas and realized that she would use an apron too, if not change out of them altogether.

"No, I don't need anything. I just want to apologize. I really didn't mean to buy this much and Edward could have paid but he was carrying Tansy. I also wanted to contribute something this weekend. I've always been self-sufficient, and I'm just not use to people giving to me. I have trouble enough asking for help when it's necessary and I am sorry if I offended you. Like with Alice and Edward helping with Tansy so much. Like with the neighbors and the guys at the bar holding a fundraiser for us. It just bothers me that I need to be dependent on other people."

"Bella, it's okay. I was only offended that you would think you need to contribute in some way to my household. I see exactly where you are coming from now when you say you don't like asking for help. Who does? No one likes being helpless, it makes us feel vulnerable." Esme could tell that her words had Bella thinking.

"It sucks doesn't it? To be me right now? Sucks." Smiling, Bella hoped Edward's mother picked up on her sarcasm and self-deprecating humor. "I'll try to get better at the accepting stuff though."

"Well let me make it easier on you. From here on out, if I invite you somewhere, _any_where, I never expect you to pay – do I make myself clear? Bella, my family is growing on you – we all enjoy your company. I love your design ideas; Rose loves your company, and Edward? Well, Edward just loves you period. Jasper and Emmett think of you as the little sister that I never gave them." Esme smiled as Bella squirmed under the microscope. "We just want to help you. But I refuse to have you take on any responsibility for my household and my family. You have enough on your plate"

"I'll work on accepting help more often. But you need to understand where I am coming from too. My parents divorced when I was little. As I grew up, I took care of my mother more and more. Renee was just so scatterbrained, and some of her ideas on life were pretty far out there. My dad did what he could, but I didn't see him regularly. He was not comfortable with people, especially after Renee picked up and left him. It just became too uncomfortable for me to spend time with him. We were strangers being forced to live together two months out of the year. It wasn't fair to either of us. I really believe he never got over my mother." Bella sighed as she let go of Esme's hands and went to sit on one of the stools at the counter.

"Bella, what was your relationship with your mother like?" Esme asked as she slid Bella's coffee cup toward her.

"I'm not so sure she _was_ the mother. I started taking care of her at a very young age. We'd go to the store, and she'd be buying books or magazines and forget that we needed food. As I got older and started talking to her in a more parental way, she started to step up. I guess no one likes to be talked to like they are the village idiot. By the time I was in high school Renee had finally started to take an interest in my life. Once I left for college and she had to fend for herself she hooked up with my stepfather. He didn't stick around long though. I guess he didn't realize when they got married that he would have to be the parent to his wife. I was already gone by then." Bella stood up to refill her coffee cup, continuing with the story as Esme asked questions.

"What about after you met your husband?" Esme pressed for details but still let Bella know by her tone that she could always stop.

"Renee and Jacob got along well. They weren't each other's favorites, but they were at least civil toward each other, especially when I was around. From my phone calls with Renee, Jacob was able to piece together that my relationship with her wasn't that easy. Please understand Esme, my parents were very young when they had me." Bella felt a need to defend her parent's actions. "I loved them both dearly, but they had no idea how to keep a relationship strong. When Charlie wanted to grab an oar and paddle, Renee wanted to jump ship. My father loved her enough that he gave her that. All he wanted was her to be happy, even if it meant that they were no longer together."

"Something like, if you love something set it free and if it comes back to you it's yours theory?" Esme questioned Bella gently, wanting her to continue.

"I understand why they did it, but I can't say that I agree with it. I grew up not having a father thanks to Renee and she knows it. Now, Tansy will have to grow up without a father because of me. My daughter will grow up not knowing what it is like to have a father's love. I never in a million years thought that Jacob would be the kind of man to leave. Even after Tansy's diagnosis came, I thought that we'd figure this out together. That may have been idealistic of me, but Jake knew about my childhood. He knew I would never want that kind of life for my own child. And yet, here she is, in the same boat as me as far as growing up with one parent." Bella sighed and looked up from her second cup of coffee.

"When was the last time you spoke with your mother Bella?" Esme voice asked gently.

"Months ago now, she came to visit once. I ended up having to rush Tansy to the ER and she suggested that it would be better if I just let her die. That was the last time I saw her. I asked her not to contact me again.

Truly, if she could just give up on Charlie, then on Phil, and then on Tansy as well? There are times I just get so mad Esme, I want to take an oar and _jam_ it down her stupid throat and _make_ her paddle, make her step up and account for herself!" Bella hadn't realized just how mad she got at Renee's stupidity. With Esme rubbing soft circles on her back, she was able to hold her emotions in check as she continued. "That was always her answer for everything. If life becomes too complicated, just walk away. But I couldn't…I can't."

"Well, you may not think you need any of us Bella, but we sure need you. I can't tell you how many times I called Edward to come home for an event and he was always staying at someone's house, or living in a sleeping bag in one of his rehabs. Emmett was so hurt when the twins were born and Edward didn't stay at the hospital. Carlisle and I pretty much forced him to come, and he left soon after he got there. Having you in his life has made all the difference. He's such the better person for it. Please, if you truly mean what you say about grabbing an oar, consider it too when you think of your and Edward's relationship. My son loves you Bella."

"Oh my." Bella said as she looked over at Esme. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to just unload all that on you. But I do feel better, thank you for listening. Can I ask you a question Esme?" Bella's eyes twinkled as she sought to lighten the moment.

"Sure dear." Esme stood and began to finish up making brunch.

"How long am I grounded for?" Tears of laughter now fell down Bella's face as Esme crushed her into a hug.

"Bella, I just wanted you and Edward to come talk to me that's all. You really don't have to help with dinner. But he does." Esme let go of Bella and turned her so she could see Edward coming through the doorway followed by Alice, Jasper and Emmett's whole family as they entered the kitchen in a single file line. The only one missing was Carlisle.

"It's time for her medicine. I'll give it to her if you want." Edward walked over to Bella to let Tansy see her mama.

"Oh no, you don't. I haven't seen her since we got here. Plus, I didn't carry her around all morning. Give her here Edward." Bella reached for her daughter as everyone began chipping in to help Esme with brunch.


	10. Chapter 10 No Such Thing As A Black Swan

Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer

The great beta switch of 2011…I have to apologize to everyone who is following my stories. After 40+ chapters of writing, I found myself having to make corrections. I have to admit, I was waiting for it. It was bound to happen sooner or later. Thankfully it wasn't the writing part that needed tweaking, it was the punctuation. You see, it all started with what I affectionately call 'the great beta switch of 2011'. Not only did I catch Lola in the midst of her packing for Honduras…Oh, yes, right on the heels of her California trip is her Honduras trip, so I am sure she had other things on her mind and I go and dump chapter 10 in her computer. So, where Lola and I missed it, my new Validation Beta (yes, I also got a new Validation beta at Twilighted), Strider caught it. Needless to say, Lo has NO computer access in Honduras (where she is part of a great group installing a water well for a community), so I tweeted, begged, and pleaded for a new beta and was pointed to the wonderful staff at Sparkly Red Pen. So, this chapter is dedicated to the following betas, all of whom have had a hand in its posting (finally)…casket4mytears, strider, latinalola, and J and D at Sparkly Pen. With 5 betas on the case, I hope it lives up to everyone's expectations. Thank you very much for sticking with me.

Mick

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Chapter 10 - No Such Thing As A Black Swan

As soon as brunch was over,Bella attempted to clean her messy daughter by the kitchen sink. Tansy appeared clean but one sniff told Bella otherwise and she couldn't help but wrinkle up her nose.

"Ugh, she still stinks like peach juice and sour milk. I think I need to give her a real bath." Bella said the words to the only ones left in the kitchen, Edward and Esme and now Carlisle as he joined them after his morning rounds at the hospital.

"That's fine, Bella, why don't you use the bathroom upstairs? Edward and Carlisle can help me clean up down here." Esme shooed Bella out of the kitchen letting her know that there was no room for discussion. "Ask Rose if you need to borrow anything."

As she reached the top of the stairs, Bella hesitated. Holding Tansy, she stopped in front of Edward's bedroom door before actually entering it. She walked by it many times, but this was the first time that she'd be in it for any length of time. As the logistics started to hit her, she realized that she should have brought more of Tansy's stuff with her. According to Edward, they would have Tansy in the bed between them. She supposed she could ask Rose for a playpen or something but the way Edward left her feeling these days, it was better for both of them if her daughter safely lay between them.

She walked toward the small pile of bags on the chair and picked up the one that held Tansy's clothes. Balancing her daughter carefully, she pulled out a towel to wrap her in. After undressing her smelly child, she swaddled her in the towel before walking over toward the bathroom door. She knocked softly and was rewarded with a soft 'come in' from the closed door.

"Oh, Rose, I'm sorry." Bella was unsure if she should leave the bathroom or not. Rose sat on the closed toilet seat holding Emily to her exposed breast while Ethan happily splashed in a bath tub seat placed inside the bigger tub.

"No, it's perfectly fine, Bella, please come in and join us. I thought I'd be able to clean them before their feeding. Turns out, my timing is a bit skewed. After awhile, it just starts to hurt if I don't get to one of them quick enough." Rose gently smoothed down Emily's hair as she fed her. "Plus, I'm tired of ruining all of my good shirts!" Rose moved her other arm gently to not disturb the baby; Bella noticed there was two big wet stains on the front of her blouse. She couldn't help but laugh a little with Rose.

"I never thought of it that way. I admit I was jealous when I first saw you feeding them. I tried with Tansy. She latched on beautifully but once we figured out she had reflux, it is just easier to feed her through a tube. And especially with the medications she is on." Bella switched Tansy into her other arm, accepting Rose's offer to sit down on the edge of the tub and keep her company.

"Rose, when was the last time you took the twins to the doctor?" Bella looked over at chunky Ethan, just hanging out in the bathtub.

"On Wednesday, for their three month checkup. It really should have been sooner. I waited because they both had little colds and wouldn't be able to get their shots. Why?" Rose looked at Bella and followed her gaze to Ethan.

"How much do they weigh, any idea?" Bella couldn't keep the sadness from creeping into her voice.

"Oh, no you don't, Bella Swan. You are not getting sucked up into that. I'll tell you this much, because it's obvious. They are both bigger than Tansy. No more questions. Why don't you just put Tansy into Emily's bathtub ring next to Ethan? That way you won't have to wait until my princess here is done eating and finished with her bath." Rose was trying to be helpful.

Bella nodded and smiled as Ethan looked up at her and laughed. As she took the towel off and lowered Tansy into the tub seat, Ethan stopped splashing and lay back in his little seat. Usually an enthusiastic bath-taker, his calmness concerned Rose. She peeked around Bella at Ethan.

"Huh, usually he splashes like crazy, even when Emily is in there. It's nice that he doesn't splash her. I worried about that after I told you to put her in. It's like putting an angelfish in with a shark." Rose and Bella laughed as Tansy tried to turn away from Ethan.

"That's right,Tansy, you good girl. She's trying to be all modest in front of him." Bella could barely keep a grip on the slippery girl. "This is unusual for her,too. Usually she's very calm in the water and she's never this squirmy. C'mon,Tans, you're going to tire yourself out."

Bella pleaded with her daughter, then gave up and finally just turned the seat around so it was facing opposite of Ethan. "Sorry, big guy, but a girl's gotta have her privacy. You're never too young to learn that, right Rose?"

Rose and Bella were crying from laughing so hard. Ethan's face looked so sad; a mirror image of Emmett's when he was scolded. The baby looked so rejected. Flopping forward slightly, he hunched over in his seat as if to say 'what did I do', a perfect Emmett image.

"What is so funny in here?" Alice and Jasper walked in seeing Ethan in the tub with Bella holding Tansy in there.

"Oh my God, you shrunk Emmett!" Jasper laughed as he pulled out his phone to take a picture.

"I've seen that look before, too. Geez, it's like bad childhood memories all over again. Don't worry,Tansy, I never liked taking a bath with Emmett when I was little either." Edward laughed as he joined the small group gathering in the bathroom.

"Oh my, I'm gonna have to pee! I haven't laughed this hard in so long." Rose said, wiping her tears with one arm as Esme and Carlisle came running into the now crowded bathroom.

"Is everything alright in here?" A worried Esme looked over at Rose for reassurance as Carlisle started laughing while looking at the tub.

"They're fine Esme; I believe Ethan has just had his first rejection." Carlisle put his hand up to his face to stop his laughter as everyone in the now crowded bathroom erupted into fits again.

Esme began joining in as she looked past everyone and saw Tansy, calm now that she had her back turned to Ethan, playing happily in the water by herself with a grumpy looking Ethan right behind her. Just then, the last family membernot includedwalked into the bathroom to see what was going on.

"What's going on?" Emmett took one look into the tub and swore loudly, earning a glare from Esme. "I've been cloned!"

Bella rocked back on her heels as she collapsed on the bathroom floor, grateful for the plush rug in front of the tub. It seemed to her that all the excitement in the bathroom may have made Tansy get pretty excited and she began breathing more heavy than Bella would have liked. Not wanting to be the buzz kill, she quickly washed and rinsed her daughter, grateful that Emily was done nursing and Rose now needed to finish up her bath.

As the excitement settled down, Bella became overprotective of Tansy. She held her daughter close while stepping into Edward's bedroom, leaving the crowd in the bathroom. She knew she should have kept her calmer, but she loved the normalcy of being wrapped up in Edward's family and just being normal. Edward came up behind her as she set Tansy on the bed. He held a diaper out to her then left the room. Bella wasn't sure if he was being observant or if he just didn't want Tansy to wet his bed. In any case, she took it gratefully as she asked Edward to get his father.

Carlisle entered the room glancing at Bella and her daughter.

"Carlisle, do you have your stethoscope handy? Would you mind terribly if I asked you to listen to her lungs to make sure they are clear? I don't want to worry everyone but I think she may have overdone it in the tub. I just want to make sure she's not getting sick." Bella put on a dry diaper and wrapped Tansy in the towel as she picked her up.

"Well, I am no expert, oh wait, yes I am." Carlisle laughed easily at his own joke, trying to put Bella at ease.

"I'll get my bag and come back up in a few minutes; less alarm to everyone if no one else sees." As Carlisle left the room,Bella put her head down to try to listen to Tansy's chest. She was greeted by Tansy's fists flailing into her hair and pulling at it wildly.

"Oh my word, you sure are getting strong. That actually hurts you little monster! I'll show you to pull mommy's hair." Bella blew raspberries onto Tansy's chest and once she started laughing, the baby let go of her hair as she giggled, and wheezed, showing Bella that she was slightly out of breath.

As Bella smoothed her hair away from her face and straightened up, she noticed that Tansy was arching her back and kicking her legs frantically. She scooped her up immediately, not wanting her to continue to exert herself so much. She placed the baby on her shoulder and was calmly walking her around Edward's bedroom, which is how Edward found them when he walked in five minutes later.

"Is everything alright?" He crossed immediately to Bella placing his hand on her back in a small, comforting gesture.

Bella nodded to let Edward know that everything was alright as Tansy turned her head to the sound of his voice. With her daughter tucked almost directly under her chin, Bella didn't see the exchange between the two of them. Tansy smiled at Edward as she jammed her thumb into her mouth. Edward placed his other hand on Tansy's back and marveled as the baby's pretty brown eyes fluttered closed.

"She's so beautiful,Bella." Edward couldn't help but grin and touch Tansy's freshly washed wispy waves. If it was possible, her baby fine hair felt even softer to him than before. Edward shook his head and laughed lightly as it hit him.

"What is it?" Bella asked softly as she drew back from him slightly, careful not to leave his touch completely.

"I'm in love again." Edward said simply as he stared at her daughter in deep concentration.

"Why do I get the feeling that you aren't talking about me?" Bella laughed lightly and batted her eyelashes before smiling and kissing him. Picking up on his words immediately, words she knew he meant with her and again with her daughter. "Edward, I've fallen in love again, too." Bella whispered, not wanting to break the strange spell that came over the trio.

She knew that Edward understood her unspoken explanation as well as she did his. Her first time was with Jacob; her second time was with him. Just as he was about to lean over to kiss her back, Carlisle walked in.

"I'm sorry Bella, Esme asked me to get something…" Carlisle stopped when he looked over at the couple cradling Bella's daughter between them.

"Good timing,Dad." Edward smiled at Bella, their faces only a few inches apart, their eyes not breaking contact.

Bella broke the connection first. "I asked Carlisle to check Tansy. I don't want to risk her getting sick when we are so close to fixing her."

Bella moved to place her daughter on the bed before kneeling at the side so to keep her hand oh the squirming infant. Edward moved to the farther side of Bella, just wanting to stay close and not get in the way. Carlisle had his stethoscope in hand as he approached the bed and Bella noticed that he was rubbing the metal end between his palms in an effort to warm it up. She was touched by his concern and smiled at him as she wished that his specialty was pediatric cardiology. As he put the earpieces up to his ears, he held the opposite end out to Bella.

"Breathe on it…for luck." Bella did as she was told and once satisfied it was warm enough, Carlisle put the earpieces into his ears and leaned over to listen. He moved the bell end around her upper chest then flipped her over onto her tummy so he could repeat the movements on her back. He took his earpieces out after briefly checking both sides. "Bella, have you ever been taught what chest sounds to check for?" Carlisle looked over at her.

"No, I usually take the expert's word for it." Bella got a smile in return for her inside joke with Carlisle. Taking an alcohol swab from his bag, Carlisle wiped down the earpieces. He offered them to Bella who managed to give him a panicked look.

"You're not going to hurt her." Carlisle encouraged as she took them and slowly held them up to her ears. She followed Carlisle's example by offering the opposite end to Edward.

"For luck?" She asked, handing it out to him. She blinked away her tears as Edward kissed the metal circle.

"For love." He whispered softly, knowing that Bella would hear it echo into the earpieces.

Carlisle, satisfied that Bella had them in her ears properly, held his hand over hers as she moved it from place to place on her daughter's chest and back. Carlisle took one earpiece out of her ear to talk to her.

"This is what a normal chest sounds like Bella. There's no congestion in her lungs; just a clear heartbeat, although slower than a normal pediatric heartbeat. Memorize her sounds Bella, this is the easiest way to tell if something is wrong.

If her chest is this clear, she's fine. You should hear nothing except a clear beat. Anything otherwise and you should be concerned." Carlisle took back the stethoscope from Bella and cleaned it thoroughly with a few more alcohol wipes. "If at any time this weekend you want to use my bag, or want me or Edward even, to check for you, my bag is always in the hallway. Just grab it and if you think you want me to check, have someone come find me. But first,grab the bag and check yourself. Do not waste time trying to find an expert, okay?" Carlisle hugged Bella as she thanked him. "I'll see you two, or rather, the three of you, later."

The three of them glanced down at Tansy who had now closed her eyes and was obviously fighting a losing battle with Mr. Sandman as she lay on Edward's bed. Once Carlisle left the room, Bella launched herself into Edward's arms.

"Edward, that was the sweetest thing I have ever seen." Bella's eyes filled with unshed tears as she remembered Edward kissing the stethoscope in an effort to warm it up.

"Bella, please do not cry right now, I am emotionally unstable. I told you I need to make up the peach incident to her somehow." Smiling, Edward looked straight into her eyes. "I'm so in love with you, it's driving me crazy that you are going to be here tonight and I can't even touch you because I don't want to hurt you.

I know you loved Jacob and that you would still be trying to make things between the two of you work out if he didn't leave. But know this Bella, he is gone. Once you are finished healing and once Tansy is finished healing, I am going to be there for you, for both of you, forever. For now, I am just going to have to deal." Edward leaned over to give her a kiss and instead growled as Alice's laugh came from the doorway. Edward and Bella looked over at Alice and Jasper standing in the doorway.

"You two do realize that you have an audience,right? And before you get mad at me, look over at your bed,Edward." Alice leaned into Jasper as they laughed softly together.

Bella and Edward looked over at his bed. There on her back, waiting patiently for her turn, Bella's daughter lay with her cheek pressed up against the soft comforter. She had her thumb jammed into her mouth, and they could just make out a smile behind her hand as she stared at them with her beautiful brown eyes.

"What a little spy! She had her eyes closed not five seconds ago! I had Carlisle checking her." Bella said as an explanation. "She's taking after your sneaky ways Alice."

Turning, Bella scooped up Tansy and moved to sit on the chair in the corner of the room. She reached down to the diaper bag at her feet and pulled out a small outfit to put on her.

"How does naptime sound?" Bella tried to make it sound more exciting than it was, but she knew that with the bath and all the excitement it would probably be a good thing for Tansy to rest.

Edward leaned casually over the bed and started arranging the pillows in the middle. He formed a large square before looking over at Bella.

"Do you think she'll roll much?" He asked her seriously.

"Are you sure your parents won't mind us sleeping in your bedroom with you?" Bella asked uncertainly earning a snicker from Jasper and Alice.

"Bella, if they would have minded, do you think Alice would be hanging out in my pajama top? Please. As long as everything is consensual they aren't going to mind." Jasper reached over and made a grab for Alice before she could get to the chair where Bella sat.

"I just don't want to give anyone the wrong impression about us. I know your mother would love it, but I don't want anyone to get their hopes up that we may be leading toward something else right now." Standing with her daughter she walked to the bed before gently placing her down, already half asleep.

"I think my whole family would love it,honestly. It would give them something to hope for." Edward came up behind Bella and put his arms around her waist as he rested his chin on her shoulder.

Noticing that they were now alone in the room, Jasper and Alice having left without a word, Edward leaned closer to Bella's neck and kissed her softly before pulling her backward out of the room. Only Bella's tug made him stop and he watched with a smiled as she dug around in the diaper bag to pull out the baby monitor to set it up while they were downstairs helping Esme with dinner.

The rest of Saturday passed in a blur. Before Bella knew it, she was facing a family game night with Edward's family. She hated the fact that their weekend was slipping away so quicklyand she found it hard to concentrate on playing. She didn't want the weekend to end.

She looked over to where Jasper was holding Tansy on his lap. The way he was trying to keep her in a sitting position while supporting her wobbly head and arms made Bella smile. Every so often he would run a hand through her baby soft curls to draw them away from where they flopped onto her forehead. Bella smiled again at her next thought.

Jasper would make such a good daddy, so attentive. Straightening up, she glanced over to Alice who was staring at him adoringly. She had obviously caught the gesture as well. Bella couldn't be happier for her friend, Alice deserved some happiness and by all accounts, Jasper now made that his mission in life.

Breaking her gaze away from Alice, Bella's next gaze was at Edward. He was sitting next to her looking slightly uncomfortable as he held a very active Ethan on his lap. Bella smiled to herself, not wanting to break the spell and really not paying attention to the card game in front of them anyway. She threw a few cards into a pile and figured she must have done something right because Emmett was now taking a turn.

"Switch!" Rose called out and everyone passed the baby they were holding to the person next to them. Edward quickly handed Ethan over to Bella.

"Whoa, this is different. I hardly ever get to hold Ethan." Bella laughed as he launched himself up and down on her lap, trying out his chubby legs.

"It's different than holding Tansy or even Emily,isn't it? He's a squirmy one and just won't sit still. He's a whole lotta baby!" Rose laughed as she watched Bella try to keep a rein in on Ethan.

Bella lifted him up by his armpits allowing him to try to stand in her lap. This seemed to do the trick as he stopped squirming and let his chubby legs support him a bit before they collapsed. He went from one foot to the other and then tried to use Bella as a springboard for jumping. Once he settled in, he just stood in front of her, perfectly content to just try out his legs.

"Okay, I guess I'm out the next hand. You guys play around me, not that I was paying attention to the game anyway. He just wants to be in the middle of everything. He's so nosy." Bella laughed at Tansy's expression when she looked over at her holding Ethan on her lap.

"I wish I could read babies minds to know what they are thinking. Right now, Tansy doesn't look happy that I'm holding you,Ethan." With perfect timing that would have put even Emmett to shame, Ethan blew raspberries across the table. Bella looked over to the quieter side of the table where Carlisle was holding Emily. She watched as Emily grabbed for the cards that Carlisle was holding out in front of her.

"No, no sweetheart, we keep those, here, let's get rid of this and which one do you think we should keep?" Carlisle was seriously letting his granddaughter play his hand. Rose laughed as Carlisle took Emily's opinion and ditched the card she grabbed for. "The little lady says get rid of it, we get rid of it. Give us two cards Emmett." Carlisle reached for the cards from Emmett, adding them to the ones in his hand.

The hand went around and Carlisle kept consulting Emily's advice on the cards all while talking to her softly through the different hands. When everyone showed their hands, Carlisle laid his down in front of Emily "See Emily, this is the straight flush I was telling you about; all five cards have to be in order and they all have to be in the same suit. Nine-ten-jack-queen-and king." Emily looked smug and Carlisle reached over for a sip of his beer as he noticed everyone around him staring with their jaws dropped open. "What? We won?" He set his beer down and high-fived his baby granddaughter.

"Definite baby switch!" Called a losing Emmett as he tossed the rest of the deck he held onto the table. Everyone laughed but no one made an effort to switch babies. The next hand was never dealt either as everyone just sat around the table talking.

Bella couldn't remember feeling so relaxed or involved in a group. Everyone was just having fun hanging out. Drinking a little just enough to relax, but not to become belligerent, like some of the regulars at the bar. Talking just enough to joke, but not so much to make fun of each other, at least not seriously.

"So, what are our plans for tomorrow? I hope the weather clears up, but we should have a backup plan in case we get stuck indoors." Alice was making faces at Tansy across the table as she spoke.

"I say cookout,no matter what. Carlisle doesn't mind grilling with an umbrella,do you dear?" Esme looked over at him lovingly.

"Been there, done that." Carlisle said,nodding his agreement.

"What do we cook for said cookout? How about _not_ burgers and dogs – we are going to start turning into them, it seems like we have them so often." Rose complained.

"What about shish-kebabs? We have plenty of vegetables leftover from um, dinner." Bella almost said farmer market before she caught Edward's glare that clearly said 'don't go there', knowing it might set off Esme again.

"Sign me up for more spaghetti squash,Bells. Are you sure that was healthy? I could eat that shit every single day." Emmett nodded approvingly at Bella as he said it.

"It was just a squash microwaved and after you scoop out the insides you add salsa on top. You could use ketchup or spaghetti sauce, but salsa is better for you and adds fewer calories." Bella playfully patted her barely rounded belly.

"How did you get so interested in cooking,Bella? The only things I can cook are opened using a can opener." Rosalie laughed.

"Well, growing up, if I didn't cook, I didn't eat. Believe me there was a lot of trial and error. I spent almost an entire year with Renee eating nothing more than beans on toast. It was just a job that became a hobby. I enjoy it now, but as a kid, I hated having the responsibility dumped on me.

Okay, I agree with Emmett now, definite baby switch – Ethan knows how to wear a person out!" Bella handed Ethan off to his daddy and put her arms in front of her.

Strangely enough, in the moment of silence that followed her statement, Bella glanced around seeing that no one needed to just fill the room with mindless chatter. Everyone was sitting quietly and just enjoying each other's company. Of course it didn't last long once Edward cleared his throat.

"By the way,everyone, the fundraiser at the bar is May 30th." Edward announced, glancing around the table to make sure everyone heard him.

"Oh yeah, Seth has everything ready to go except the fliers. Not that we really need them, it's mostly word of mouth but he still wants to put some up. But believe me please when I say you do not have to go.

"Rose, I know the babies can't be in the bar section, but if you want to bring them with, I will be keeping Tansy in the attached restaurant section – kids are allowed there. It's going to be $25 a person to eat and drink. Seth is setting up some sort of raffle. But he's not really telling me a lot of the specifics. I don't think he really wants me involved." Bella looked guilty.

"Why wouldn't he?" Jasper asked as he looked at Alice just in case Bella decided to go her normal route and either sugar coat something or else ignore it completely.

"Well, you know he's a distant cousin of Jacob's. I think maybe he, and maybe even some of his family members, feel guilty about Jacob not wanting to be involved in Tansy's life. But being honest, none of them,

save for Seth himself, have really done anything about it either. They've never contacted me to see how she is and I don't even know if they speak to him. As far as I know, Seth is feeding his relatives information, not Jacob." Bella finished lamely. "I wonder if any of them will show up at the bar?" Edward noticed that she looked worried.

"Who cares? We'll be there for her,Bella. And for you too if you need us. That's my future daughter-in-…OW, Rosie, stop hitting me upside the head!" Emmett managed to look hurt.

"Em, remember the little talk we had about your internal filter? Think it,

but don't say it, okay? You're putting a big responsibility on their shoulders. Just let it happen naturally Hon, they're still babies." Rose leaned over and kissed her husband.

Clearing his throat to cover up Emmett's faux pas, Carlisle addressed Bella.

"Bella, I don't have to work the rest of this weekend, but as soon as you get the fliers from Seth, I'll put up a few at the hospital if that's alright with you?" Carlisle looked over at Bella.

"Thanks Carlisle, that'd be great. Esme, as much as I'd love to give you a few, I'm afraid that having some of the people I use to work with would be awkward for me. I wouldn't mind you mentioning it to a few people, but I'd hate for anyone to think I was asking for their help, which is exactly what I am doing, but do you understand why I would rather you not take any to work?" Bella looked anxiously at Esme, not wanting to upset her, but hoping she realized that although neither woman worked directly for Victoria, they did share the same professional circle.

"Of course I understand,Bella. I'll mention it naturally, but I agree with you. I'll write down the information as soon as you give it to Carlisle and I'll mention it to those I see fit. Thank you for talking to me about it,dear." Esme looked deep in thought.

"On another thought, Edward agreed to babysit Tansy on Tuesday so I could finish the room. I'll be in there all day, but I don't want any interruptions. I'll need to really work hard at it to finish, but I am determined to get it done. I apologize for it being dragged out this long but I have had a few distractions." Bella looked meaningfully around the table at everyone.

"Actually, I thought it went pretty quickly. I haven't seen it recently, but I'm told only great things about it. I've seen Esme work on projects for months on end." Carlisle smiled at his wife.

"By the way**,** Carlisle, thanks for giving me Jenks number. I hope to be free of all the legal issues before the fundraiser. He seemed to think it wouldn't be a problem. I don't know how to repay you for that, but I'll think of something." Bella looked over at Carlisle gratefully.

"That's where you're wrong Bella. You're welcome, and we will leave it at that. There is no need for you to repay anything. In fact, after your phone call last night, I took the liberty of contacting him. I hope you don't feel like I am intruding on your case but we both agreed that if he can't get it through the system fast enough that we would talk to a judge we both know and push it through. The sooner Jacob Black is gone from your life**, **the better." Carlisle nonchalantly looked over at Bella to take in her surprise.

"Carlisle! You've done enough for me already! I feel so guilty accepting help like this." Bella begin to turn red and suddenly her mind became a jumble of emotions.

"That's nonsense. I had one issue that I feel strongly about and I took the liberty to correct it as I see fit. With Tansy's surgery coming up so fast it would be best if Jacob had no say whatsoever in her medical care. Think about it Bella, please. I have seen too many of these issues to just sit by and let one happen so close to my own home. I have seen parents that are in love and still together fighting over their children's care. The last thing anyone needs right now is someone who isn't involved in your daughter's life making decisions for her. I acted on it strictly from a medical standpoint and Mr. Jenks agreed with me." Carlisle hid his face behind his beer.

Bella stopped her rant before she even started. Carlisle was right, of course. She never thought for a moment about anyone else having a right to her daughter's care. The thought of Jacob now showing up and demanding that she stop her daughter's care frightened her and she was once again grateful for the Cullen family's involvement. She looked at Alice as she held Tansy and couldn't help but smile in relief as she realized that her daughter was safe.

"I never gave that a thought. Carlisle! Thank you so much!" Bella knocked over her chair as she scooted around the table to launch herself at Carlisle. She drew him into a big hug before she walked over to Alice and reached for Tansy.

As she walked carefully over to her seat, Edward reached out to grab her. He drew them both onto his lap as he kissed her gently on her cheek in front of everyone.

"Tansy Elizabeth _Swan_." Bella almost whispered the name, the realization that she would be changing her name hitting her full force as she remembered Carlisle's warning. "You are Tansy Elizabeth _Swan_." Bella smiled at her daughter as she nestled herself back against Edward's chest. "You know, it fits her better. This is Tansy Elizabeth _Swan_!" She said again, getting everyone's attention and saying the name, as if introducing her to them for the first time.

Edward leaned into Bella's neck and kissed her softly. "When this is all over for you sweetheart, you will both be Cullens." He said quietly for only her to hear.

Bella shivered and allowed herself a moment of daydream as she thought to the future. Would she be changing her daughter's name to Cullen one day? She felt so flustered by the thought that she broke away from Edward's embrace, afraid he might somehow hear her little fantasy. She settled back on her own chair and leaned over to give Edward a reassuring kiss.

"Getting back to the fundraiser," Alice clearly wanted to break up the knot of tension that had filled the room, "did you return Seth's call yet?"

"Not yet. I guess I should since the date is right around the corner." Bella made a show of checking her pockets for her phone before coming up empty. Alice slid her own phone to her across the table. "Use my phone,

Bella." Bella picked up the phone and scrolled through the contacts until she found Seth's number, knowing it would be stored there.

"Yo, Al. Everything alright?" Seth asked as he answered the phone.

"Hi Seth, its actually me, Bella, not Alice. I am just using her phone. I was just wondering if you made out the fliers yet?" Smiling, Bella put the phone on speaker and placed it on the table after she saw everyone gesture encouragingly around the table.

"Uh, hang on a sec." There was a moment of silence before muffled voices came through the phone. Everyone looked around as they wondered what was going on that Seth couldn't talk. "Sorry about that. As a matter of fact, no. I have them made up but not printed yet. I'm going to the 24 hour printing place on my way home tonight. Unless I can con one of the deadbeats here to do it."

Knowing a few of the regulars at the bar had Bella and Alice snickering at the thought.

"Well, I'm glad you didn't print them off yet. Um, here's the thing. By the time this takes place, Tansy's name will be legally changed to Swan, so I was just thinking that to avoid confus…" Bella didn't finish as she heard someone yell in the background.

"What the fuck, Isabella, take me off the goddamn speaker phone now!" A gruff voice snarled into the phone.

Bella fell back into her chair as she clutched her daughter tightly. She felt as if she had been physically slapped. She hadn't heard Jacob's voice in so long, she felt physically sick. She looked down at her daughter, to see if there was any acknowledgement in her eyes that her daddy was on the phone, but there was none. Bella glanced around Edward's family, embarrassed for herself as she took in their expressions. Edward looked as if he might eat the phone itself. Bella picked it up as if it were a snake.

"Hello Jacob." She said his name quietly, her tears fell and she couldn't stop them as he continued yelling at her on the phone. She fell back into the helpless mess she was when he first left her in the hospital. She had taken everything he had dished out to her since then. He was always the one calling the shots and seemed to always have the ball in his court as he did so.

Bella lifted Tansy with one arm and gestured toward Alice, indicating that she should take her. Once she had her other hand free, Bella placed it over her mouth, hoping her soon to be ex husband wouldn't hear her cry into the phone. Bella thought she would collapse when she felt Edward's arms come around her. As she started to sit up straighter, she found her inner strength and cut him off. Her sadness gradually gave way to her anger as she cut Jake off.

"You listen to me, Jacob Black. This whole mess with her name and life is your idea. No, it wasn't anyone's business at the bar, but Seth is trying to help me and Tansy. So what? I honestly don't care how you feel; your first time back in town and you visit a bar, rather than to see your own daughter? It's the truth. I just received those papers yesterday; you need to talk to your lawyer,Jacob. It's not their business and I am sorry if that's how you feel, but like it or not, I still live in this town and they want to help, so I am going to let them. Just remember that this whole mess stems from your decisions. I'm hanging up now, Jacob." Bella closed the phone and put her head down on the tabletop, relishing in cool comfort against her cheek. She closed her eyes, begging the tears to stop before she felt even more foolish in front of Edward's family.

"We're here for you, Bella." Edward rubbed Bella's back soothingly.

Bella just nodded, her cheek stuck to the tabletop by the wetness of her tears. She wouldn't have thought it of Jacob in a million years, but it seemed as though Carlisle verbalizing the words may have made Bella's worst fear come true. Jacob, as her daughter's legal parent, did have a say in Tansy's medical care. She shuddered at the thought of Jacob pulling the strings in her life, making her and Tansy both dance to his tune. Then Carlisle's voice returned in her head. Making her realize what she needed to do.

Picking up her head, Bella's first glance was in Carlisle's direction. "Thank you Carlisle, for thinking of me. I think if it's no trouble, I'll be speaking to Jenks this week and seeing what can be done as soon as possible." At Carlisle's nod of acknowledgement, Bella turned to face Edward. "And thank you for not saying 'it's going to be okay, Bella'. I know it will be in the future, but right now this just sucks. It helps to know that I have people on my side."

As Bella's glance went around the table, she caught everyone nodding in agreement and where her eyes held sadness, their eyes all reflected a fight. Emmett himself looked like he wanted to just pound on something.

"After that call, I feel like going to a certain bar and taking care of some business." Emmett's fury showed through his features, flaring nostrils and wild eyes. Bella smiled sadly at the big bear of a man, wanting so desperately to help a child that was not even his own flesh and blood.

"Emmett, we have to do this Bella's way. Carlisle is right. The first person we all need to think of is Tansy and her medical care." Edward smiled weakly at his brother. "We do this Bella's way."

Edward scooted his chair back and turned it slightly sideways before pulling Bella onto his lap.

"Thanks, Emmett. Believe me, there are times when I wish I could get to Jacob in a dark alley. It wouldn't solve any of Tansy's problems, but it sure would help me feel better." Bella reached for the tissue box Esme was sliding her across the table before she settled against Edward's chest. "I know you all only heard half of the conversation, but the other half was basically Jacob yelling at me for involving the guys from the bar. I didn't know he'd be there. Why would Seth give him the phone?"

"More likely that Seth had you on speaker also and he probably took it from him. Bella**,** are you alright?" Alice looked very concerned as she handed Tansy over to Jasper and came to Bella's side, kneeling as she pet her head like she was comforting a dog.

"I'm fine, Al. Remind me to never use speaker phone again though. It just hurts. I don't care for myself, but not once, not even one time did he acknowledge her or ask how she is doing. Not once. He yelled about the fundraiser, about Seth and the other guys wanting to help. It just hurts! This is a child we created together. How could he turn something so beautiful into something so ugly?" Bella cried harder as she leaned into Alice's arms and Edward tightened his grip around her waist, not wanting to let her go just yet. When Alice's phone vibrated on the table it was Edward that reached for it first, everyone let him.

"Hello?" Edward's voice sounded harsh. "Hello Seth, this is Edward Cullen. Bella and Alice came over for dinner with my family. Hold on I'll ask her if she feels like talking right now, she's pretty upset." Edward held out the phone to Bella, holding down the mute button. "I didn't want to give him any more ammunition that Jacob might pick up on. I just told him dinner. There's no reason for them to know that you're staying over, but I think you can trust Seth."

Nodding, Bella sloppily wiped her eyes with her hands and straightened up from her slump into Alice's small body. "Hello,Seth. I'll talk as long as he is gone. I didn't realize that Jacob didn't tell anyone else what his intentions were. I received word of it from a lawyer just yesterday. I thought for sure he would mention it to someone there. I didn't realize that he stopped talking to everyone. Listen Seth, I had no intention of changing her name but it was part of the paperwork I received in the mail." Bella's voice caught in her throat. "Yeah, maybe that's better. Her first name's not common enough to be confusing to anyone that matters. No, don't do that, it sounds silly. Come on Seth, Black-Swan? It sounds grotesque and people will think we're trying to rip off the Natalie Portman movie. Just use her first name, that's fine. Thanks Seth, I appreciate everything you've done this far, you've been a great friend. Good night." Bella clicked the phone shut before looking at everyone.

"What was it, Bella?" Alice took Bella's empty seat next to her.

"He called from the office in back – Jacob's not allowed back there so I don't think he overheard anything more. Jake apparently made them all think it was all my doing, changing her name to Swan and wanting the divorce. Ridiculous because I just found out about it myself. He is barely talking to anyone there and keeps avoiding everyone. C'est la vie." Bella shrugged as if she didn't care and took a cleansing breath. "I told Seth to just use the name Tansy on the flier though, no last name."

"Good thinking Bella. It'll just confuse her. She'll be a Swan. A beautiful, graceful one. None of this Black or Black-Swan stuff." Alice made a face like she had swallowed a lemon, causing a slight murmur of laughter around the table.

"There's no such thing, you know." Edward drew Bella back against his chest and waited for someone to take his bait, and ask the next question. Esme unknowingly walked right into it.

"No such thing as what, dear?" Esme asked as she stood and began clearing the table of cards.

Edward shifted Bella on his lap to face him before he said it, wanting the impact of his words to fully hit her. "There's no such thing as a black swan." He said meaningfully as he gazed into Bella's eyes.

Bella's body reacted immediately as her brain comprehended Edward's words. Viciously she attacked his lips, not caring who was in the room with them. She felt an overwhelming need to belong to someone and if Edward was willing to claim her then she was going to be his. She was no longer a Swan, hadn't been since she married Jake. But now she no longer considered herself a Black either. Technically, she knew she was still a Black, but that was just semantics. With no real identity, she felt completely lost and began losing herself in Edward's kiss as it claimed her, grounded her, _owned_ her.

She gasped for air before continuing the kiss again. She felt Edward's hands tangle in her hair as their mouths danced around each other, never feeling completely satisfied. She placed her arms around his shoulders and drew him in as close as possible without suffocating him and Edward knew the minute their lips connected that she was his. She stood and pulled him up to stand with her before saying good night to everyone. She briefly hugged and kissed Alice before collecting her daughter from Jasper and leading the way to Edward's bedroom.

As Bella sat in the armchair in Edward's room, she held her daughter tightly while talking. After their display of affection in the dining room, the group had broken up and decided it was time for everyone to go to bed. Bella blushed at the thought of what everyone else might be doing in their rooms. Chances were more than likely that she and Edward would be the only ones abstaining from sex that night.

Edward moved from where he sat on the bed and climbed behind Bella onto the back of the armchair. He tucked his legs down at her sides as his hands found her shoulders and he began easing the tension. She winced before moaning appreciatively at his touch.

"The thing is, I can barely even think straight these days. Just when I start thinking about myself and realizing that I deserve so much more, I hear Tansy cry, or my alarm goes off to remind me to medicate her, or I get an alert that she has a doctor appointment coming up. Then I feel so horrible because I realize that this is what I wanted. I've got her, but the doubt always seems to creep back in – did I make the right decision? Am I being selfish?" Bella leaned backward into Edward's embrace. He caught her easily, knowing that she wasn't looking for confirmation; she just needed to say things out loud.

"Lean on me whenever you need, Bella. I will be there to catch you. Only time will let you realize that." Edward leaned down and kissed the top of Bella's head.

Bella's body betrayed her as she leaned back into the chair and between Edward's legs. She was aware of the back of her head connecting with something that was definitely not part of the soft cushioned chair and bit both her lips to stop from laughing as Edward gave a small yelp. She stared straight ahead, afraid to move or make a sound. She was even more afraid to know exactly what part of Edward Cullen's anatomy the back of her head hit. She whispered an embarrassed 'I'm sorry' before scooting herself forward and off the chair altogether.

Clearing his throat, Edward followed Bella off the chair and stood with her in the center of his bedroom. "Maybe we should put her to bed?" Edward whispered softly as he embraced both of them together.

"Yeah." Bella responded breathlessly. She knew that nothing could happen between them tonight but it didn't stop her brain from sending her body conflicting signals. It was too soon, but he was so thoughtful. They had no protection, but he was so handsome. She had to think of Tansy first and foremost, but Edward was always there to help take care of her daughter too. She gave her fuzzy head a shake and decided to just get on with it. Then clarified the even fuzzier meaning with an added 'to sleep Bella, just get to sleep'.

"So, do you think she'll have enough room to roll around?" Edward asked as he led them toward his bed.

"She doesn't move around too much so she should be fine." Bella realized that she had a bigger problem to worry about than her daughter. "So, uh, you'll be sleeping in here with us?"

"Is that alright?" Edward asked her with his eyes darkening. He'd just assumed they would be in the same room. "I could sleep in the guest bedroom, I suppose. I'm sure Alice isn't using it."

"No." Bella was quick to veto that idea. She wanted him right here with her. "I just think I should warn you that I'm a pretty light sleeper as far as Tansy is concerned. I mean, we didn't sleep much last night at my place since we stayed up most of the night talking. But usually I hear a small noise and I am awake. See, I…um, have a tendency to, kind of talk. In my sleep. A lot." Bella turned from pale to deep crimson in a matter of seconds as she finished her explanation.

"I'm usually a deep sleeper. I am so tired from work I just sleep through everything. It shouldn't be a problem. For me**,** anyway. Unless you're worried about something else?" Edward looked amused.

"Well, if you should, _hear_ something that might not sound right, could you please ignore it? I don't really have any control over what I may talk about while I am sleeping. Alice thinks it's funny, she even spent almost an entire night recording me. I made out a complete to do list and had a session with a client about not using too much chintz in a room. I also had a phone conversation with Renee and with my old boss. Just in case you hear something that doesn't sound right? I'm apologizing in advance." Bella lay Tansy down in the middle of the pillows before reaching for her own overnight bag.

"All is forgiven ahead of time. Are you sure this is going to be okay?" Edward, ever the gentleman, gave her another opportunity to back out but was grateful when she agreed it was fine. Edward reached into his dresser and pulled out a pair of pajama bottoms and a t-shirt. "If you want to change in here, I'll go change in the bathroom."

"Okay, I'll stay here and use the bathroom after you." Bella nodded her head in approval.

"I'll lock the door on the other side then. If Emmett knows his side is locked he won't just barge in on you – one of the many problems of sharing a bathroom." Edward laughed as he locked the door.

After Bella changed into her pajama bottoms and tank top, she turned the lamp on in the corner near the armchair and killed the bright overhead light. Her daughter only slightly fidgeted in the bed and she thought maybe if the overhead light wasn't so harsh that it might help her sleep.

Once Edward came back into the room, she went to brush her teeth. She could hear Tansy start to whine and all too soon it became an all out cry. Bella finished scrubbing her teeth quickly and joined Edward back in his bedroom. She found Edward sitting on the bed, moving his hand in slow circles on Tansy's back while softly humming to her.

"Nothing is familiar, I'm afraid. She's never slept anywhere other than her crib at home or a hospital bed – and usually when she's there she's drugged so she doesn't know the difference. I'm sorry, Edward; I'll go sit with her in the other room so you can get some sleep. I don't want her to keep you awake or disturb your whole family." Bella scooped up her daughter and went to reach for the baby blanket that she had draped over the foot board of the bed.

"Bella, tomorrow is Sunday, it's Mother's Day. No one is working this weekend. Just sit with her here and maybe she'll settle in." Edward came over and took both of them into his arms. "Bella, you know why I fell for you?"

Bella stared dumbfounded into Edward's eyes. She reprocessed his words, giving her mind time to catch up and afraid that she misunderstood him among her daughter's noise.

"You always put everyone before yourself. With you, what I see is what I get. You have no false pretenses, no games. You don't realize it, but from a man's perspective, that's very sexy. To know that you're not hiding behind anything or making yourself into something you're really not. You're completely comfortable in your own skin and you make no excuses for it." Edward placed one arm under Bella's, helping support her daughter as he reached the other around her. The three of them rocked slowly for a few minutes until they were sure that Tansy was asleep.

"Maybe we should try laying her in the bed again?" Bella whispered.

"On the count of three, follow my lead, okay?" Edward nodded his head toward the bed.

Silently mouthing the words, he counted to three and they moved as one, placing Tansy directly in the middle. The baby promptly jammed her thumb into her mouth and began to slowly suck.

"If she's sucking her thumb, she should be good for the night." Bella laughed lightly and turned to Edward as she tried to smother her yawn. "Want to finish this dance?"

"I'd love to." Edward took her into his arms and they pressed together close. After moving together for a few minutes, Edward led her over to the chair, not wanting to disturb the baby. He pulled her down into his lap and rubbed her back gently as he pulled her close for a kiss.

Bella kissed Edward back eagerly. She couldn't deny how attracted to him she was. It was just the feeling of being loved, of being needed for something. Sure, Tansy needed her, but it was for basic needs and survival. Edward didn't really need her at all. But he wanted her. He wanted her enough that it didn't matter to him that she was technically still married, or that her daughter with another man was asleep across the room. Bella pushed all these thoughts out of her mind as she and Edward continued kissing and exploring one another's body.

"Bella, are you sure about this?" Edward whispered the words as he reluctantly pulled away. "I'll tell you right now that I will not sleep with you tonight, but I can control myself enough to know that right now, I just want to be close to you. Are you comfortable with this, for now?" He asked her, almost pleading with her to let him continue kissing.

Bella searched into his eyes for something she thought she saw flicker in there. Yup, there is was again – desire. He wanted her; bad enough that he was willing to wait for her. She let all thoughts of reason go and threw out all her doubts and caution away as she leaned into him and whispered to him.

"Shut up and kiss me goodnight, Edward." As he tightened his grip around her he pulled her into his lap and turned her so that she was lying across him with her legs dangling over the arm of the chair. This is how Alice and Jasper found them the next morning.

"Wow, Jasper. I may be bigger than Tansy, but at least I don't take up the whole bed!" Alice's too cheerful voice had Bella squeezing her eyes closed in a useless attempt to make her go away.

"Go away, Alice. Come back in the morning." Yawning, Bella turned her head back into Edward's shoulder as he gripped her tighter on his lap.

Jasper's laugh caused both Edward and Bella to groan as he obviously went to pick up Tansy.

"Come here, munchkin. Wow, you kicked both adults out of the bed with you last night. I'm impressed, little one." Jasper reached over and handed Tansy to Alice who had already picked out her outfit for the day. He walked over to where Bella and Edward still slept curled up in the armchair. "Wake up, you two. We are stealing Tansy for a while so if you want to stretch out on the bed for a bit, feel free. Who would have thought that a tiny little baby would kick two grown adults out of a queen size bed?"

"Come on Jazz, let's leave the lovebirds in peace. You two can join us whenever you're ready. Bella, I'm taking the diaper bag so I can give her the meds. Oh hell, you two aren't even listening to us." Alice pouted as she and Jasper left with Tansy curled up on her shoulder.

"Are they gone yet?" Edward asked, shifting Bella more comfortably on his lap.

Bella opened one eye before responding. "Yeah, but that was so wrong. I should have woken up. I feel horrible. I just knew it was Alice, and I know when I am at home if Alice gets her in the morning it's okay. I don't usually sleep this sound but we barely slept on Friday and yesterday seems like it flew by." Bella slowly stood up stretching as she looked longingly at the barely touched bed..

Edward put his hands out in front of himself and then rested them on his knees as he stayed sitting in the chair. "I don't know about you, but I can't remember the last time I slept that soundly. Speaking of sounds**,** though, you do make a great conversationalist when you are asleep. I was only awake for a little bit after you fell asleep but it was long enough to understand what you were talking about." Edward appeared amused.

"Oh no, what did I say?" Bella asked, flopping down on the bed as she covered her face with her hands.

"I'm not sure, but I think you were talking to Alice. I know you mentioned my name a time or two. Maybe a list of some sort – that part was mumbled." Edward stood and walked over to the bed then crawled in beside her. He scooted her over slightly and drew her against him, seeking the warmth from her body.

"It figures. I don't know how I get any actual sleep. I seem to get more work done when I'm asleep than when I'm awake." Bella unconsciously shifted her weight.

"Bella, please. I have self-control but it will only take me so far and when you move that way against me, well, I should say the more you move against me, the less self-control I'm willing to use." Edward leaned forward kissing her neck gently as he brushed her hair away.

"It's funny you should mention control, because lately I've been feeling very _out_ of control." Bella sighed as she took in a deep breath. Sitting up suddenly as realization hit her. "I better get up and downstairs before Alice and Jasper tell everyone that they caught…" Bella didn't have a chance to finish before Edward interrupted her.

"Caught us what? Kissing? Sleeping in a chair? Come on Bella, we were fully clothed and there would be nothing wrong with it even if it were Carlisle and Esme that walked in. There was nothing wrong with what happened last night." Edward reached over and touched her arm gently.

"No, there wasn't and I'm not going to feel guilty about it. But I can guarantee that Alice will see nothing wrong with embellishing it a little either. By the time we get dressed and downstairs she will have us laying around smoking an after sex cigarette." Bella finished her rant then crawled over Edward to get out of the bed.

As she picked her clothes out from her overnight bag, Bella thought back to the night before and how much Jacob had rattled her cage. If her daughter's illness had taught her anything, it was to live each day as it came and not hold on to things that didn't matter. Jacob not wanting them, while it did hurt, really didn't matter anymore. Not when she had an entire family willing to step in and accept her just as she was.

Glancing back at the bed, Bella noticed that Edward never left. He lay on his side watching her, his head propped up on his arm. Seeing him smile at her for no reason at all gave her hope that the day was going to be better than the night before and she couldn't help but smile in return.


	11. Chapter 11

Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. That being said, on with chapter 11.

* * *

"Good morning. Did everyone sleep well?" Carlisle posed the question to the group, all seated and standing before leaning in to whisper a soft 'happy mother's day, darling' to his wife as he kissed her. Standing upright again, he began looking around the dining room at everyone still in their pajamas. He moved behind his wife and began massaging her shoulders as he took in the large group. He started nodding his head as he began counting the number of people. "Where are Rose and Emily?"

"Feeding upstairs. My man over there goes in and gets the job done." He motioned over to Ethan, sitting on his Uncle Jasper's lap. "Miss Emily likes to take her sweet time and spend forever on the nip. Can't say I blame her though, because…"

"Emmett! It's too early to talk like that, o.k.?" Standing, Jasper handed Emmett his son before walking to the coffeepot to pour another cup of coffee. "Edward and Bella are still asleep upstairs."

"Well, since most of us are here, would anyone mind if we just went to the club for the day? It's Mother's Day, so it will be a little crowded, but relaxing by a pool sounds like Heaven right now and I am all for a day of doing as little as possible." Esme gratefully took the cup of coffee that Jasper handed her.

"I'm all for a nice long swim. What do you say, brother?" Emmett asked, clapping Jasper on his back.

"I say, Alice and Bella probably don't have suits and I am not sure that Tansy can even go in the water." Jasper looked over to his father for input before settling his gaze on Alice and Tansy.

"The tube should not be a problem. If she is able to bathe with it, she can swim with it. I doubt Bella will be putting her under water, anyway. Alice, do you see any other reason?" Carlisle looked over at Alice who beamed at the fact that she was being asked her opinion.

"None I can think of, except her mama. Bella probably won't put her in anyway at the off chance that she may vomit. That would cause a problem for everyone. She's pretty sensitive about that. She'd probably like to bring Tansy, but the public reaction to children with disabilities is pretty pathetic. I suggest that we go and find the most unobtrusive corner in the place and hope for the best. Let's try it." Alice's eyes lit up.

"We'll wait until they wake up and then bring up the subject. If we just say that's what we're doing they won't have much of a choice, will they? Rose may have an extra suit or two to borrow. And if she doesn't, they do have a small boutique for swimwear and pool toys and such. I'm sure you and Bella will find things you need there but I forbid you to pay for it, just tell them to put it on our membership." Esme made plans for the day as she addressed each member of her family, much like a queen giving orders to her royal court.

"Alice, why don't you take some coffee up to Edward and Bella? They might get offended if any of us go in there. Bella has known you so much longer that she probably wouldn't mind you interrupting." Carlisle reached for another 2 cups from the cabinet and handed them to Jasper as he stood waiting with the coffeepot in hand.

"We've already been in there this morning to rescue Tansy. You should have seen Edward and Bella curled up in the armchair together. It was so cute, but I have no idea how they were able to sleep at all. They must have been really tired from the stress of Friday night and Jake's call." Hopping off the barstool, Alice began to help Jasper make the coffee.

"I hope Bella's not disrupting Tansy's sleeping schedule by bringing her over these last few nights. As selfish as I sound, I have to say I am enjoying it. I've never seen Edward so happy and he dotes on that baby something fierce. He's going to make a great father someday." Esme looked thoughtful as she took the cup of coffee her husband made for her.

"Tansy seems pretty taken with him, too. I was talking to Bella yesterday and she said something about Edward being Tansy's hero. Nighttime crying jags aside, she's right, that girl quiets right down when he's near. It's like he's a drug to her." Rose laughed as she entered the dining room and Emily leaned over to Carlisle and Esme. She handed her daughter over to Grandpa Carlisle with a laugh.

"I'll bring this up and tell them to get ready. Edward was at least coherent when we went in there." Just as Alice turned from the kitchen, a sleepy Edward and Bella appeared in the doorway, an expression of guilt apparent on both their faces.

Edward reached for a cup of coffee from Alice and dropped onto one of the empty stools and patting the one next to him for Bella who was searching out her daughter as Alice placed the second cup next to Edward.

"Well, Bella, in honor of yours and Rose's first official Mother's Day, we are going to celebrate. How does brunch at the club and a relaxing lounge around the pool sound? We figured we'd hang out there for a little while and then come back here to party this evening." Alice looked over at Bella, daring her friend to say no.

Bella glanced up from her daughter and looked surprised at Alice's words. She knew better than to suggest that they go out anywhere. Outside of her comfort zone areas, there were very few places where Bella risked taking her daughter and a snooty country club didn't even make the top 100.

"Alice, I don't know, I'm pretty tired." Bella made her way, daughter securely in her arms, to take a seat next to Edward. She knew she was grasping at straws but the thought of people gawking at her daughter while turning their snotty noses down at her as she was practically naked held nothing for her.

"Bella, we would like for the three of you to join us today." The tone of Carlisle's voice left very little room for discussion.

Bella looked around the room and saw that the day's plans lay completely on her shoulders. If she said no, she would most likely be subjecting the group to follow her plans for the day, which she knew would be far less exciting. How many times could you just hang out at a house and watch a movie, after all?

"Fine, we'll go. Just don't expect much." Bella laughed tiredly as she handed Tansy over to Edward while she reached for her coffee.

"Excellent! Well, I know it's still pretty early, but I suggest a nice, relaxing day today. So, we'll meet back down here in one hour, o.k.?" Carlisle reached over and placed his arm around Esme's waist as he pulled her toward the back set of stairs that led up to the bedrooms. She smiled at him warmly before adding, "make that two hours."

Bella jabbed at Edward as she nodded at his parents retreating backs. The two of them laughed. Jasper and Alice joined in as they obviously figured out what Edward and Bella were snickering about.

Shrugging, Rose seemed unconcerned. "I think it's cute that they still dig each other at their age."

Emmett was still oblivious as he looked over at her. "Huh, whadda ya mean they dig each other? You mean my mother and father? Ewww, that's sick, Rose."

"Em? Baby? Are you telling me that when we get older we aren't going to have sex anymore?" Rose practically purred as she moved over to stand against Emmett, causing him to rethink his earlier words.

"Aw, hell. They really aren't that old, are they? I mean if they can still do things at their age then who am I to say they can't. Still, that's just icky." Emmett shook his head as he leaned into Rose and kissed her while the rest of the group disappeared.

"Whose stupid idea was this, anyway?" Bella practically seethed the words at Edward as they walked into his r6oom to get things ready to go.

"I don't know who actually thought of it. Probably Esme, maybe Carlisle. Does it matter?" Edward reached into his closet and pulled out a gym bag. Placing it on the bed, he disappeared again into the walk in closet, leaving Bella to feel slightly braver as she voiced her words through the wall separating them.

"I think I feel sick. I really don't want to go. Why don't you just drop me off at home this morning? Or else, I could just stay here and catch up on sleep and see you all when you come back." Bella was back to grasping at straws.

Edward took a moment to calm himself before coming out of the closet with two towels. He knew what Bella was up to and he refused to let her cave in and hide her and her daughter away. He placed the towels into the bag on the bed and then closed the gap between himself and Bella.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were trying to get out of going out with my family." Edward looked her straight in the eyes as he reached out for Tansy. "I'll hold her while you pack up what she needs for the day. I have a towel for you in my bag – all we'll need to get are suits for you and Tansy." Edward placed the baby against his shoulder and smiled as the little girl settled in and nuzzled his shoulder. The look of joy on Edward's face as he held her daughter brought Bella near to tears.

"I'll just stay in my shorts and a tank top. I'm probably not going to swim anyway. I'll just hold her at the edge so she can at least splash around a little. As long as I keep Ethan away from her, she should be fine." Bella sighed as she caved in, knowing that she would have the protection of the Cullen family around her eased some of her fears.

"Seriously, Bella? You will go in the water if I have to throw you in there. Why on Earth are you suddenly so against having a good time?" Edward bounced Tansy a little as they watched Bella fly around the room throwing things into a bag.

"Good time for who, Edward? Maybe for you guys, and for Alice. But I can guarantee that Rose and I will probably not be having fun. It's embarrassing. I lost some of my weight from Tansy, but still, it's all settled on my stomach." Bella briefly looked down and snorted, suddenly self-conscious.

"Bella, you're being absurd! I can practically see your hip bones. I didn't see you before you had her, of course, but I am guessing that you were probably just as skinny as you are now. Honestly, I wouldn't be able to tell you had a child or not." Edward was looking at Bella now with a frown on his face. "You can't honestly believe that you are overweight? What's this really about, Bella?"

Bella sighed as she dropped down onto the bed and looked up at Edward. She knew she was defeated, her last line of reasoning for not joining in was now being stripped away.

"Would you believe insecurity? I have issues with my body Edward. It's not really about weight, I am not obese and I know that. When I wear jeans and a t-shirt, I'm fine, even a tank top. But something like a swim suit? Yuck. I've just never been comfortable showing off my body for anyone. I just hate feeling so exposed!" Bella crossed her arms over herself to hide and accentuate her point.

"Listen to me, Bella. Number 1, you had a child, a baby. She's right here and she's not even a year old. Two, if I just met you and you told me you had a child, I would call you a liar. Bella, be reasonable. At least come with, and see if Alice and Rose can help you feel more comfortable. For the most part it is going to be just me and my family. No one really mingles at the pool." Edward knew he won once he mentioned her girlfriends.

"I'll go, but only because I'm being forced. I'm going to talk to Rosalie for a minute. Can you deal?" Bella was already at the connecting bathroom door as Edward waved for her to go.

She knocked gently on the door so not to disturb anyone who may be taking a quick nap but jumped as Emmett flung the door open. From the sound of his voice, Bella could tell no one was napping.

"Heya, Bells! Listen, we've all got Tansy's back on this, so don't you worry your pretty little head, alright?" Emmett drew her into a hug as he pulled her into the cramped bedroom before he left through the bathroom, presumably to talk to his brother.

"Geez, I never really looked in here before, but if I knew things were this bad, I would have pushed harder to finish the room." Bella started to pick things up as she made a beeline for Rose.

"It's not so bad, Bella." Rose laughed as she began explaining. "It makes it easier to get to them when they cry during the night. What's up?" Rose barely looked up from where she was carefully placing things in a bag.

Piling the clothes she picked up from the floor onto a corner of the bed, Bella looked over at Rose, shyly. "I was just wondering if you maybe had an extra swim suit that I could borrow, just for today? Edward is insisting on torturing me." Bella walked over to the two cribs where the babies were laying contentedly.

"I'd hardly call spending the day lounging at the pool torture, Bella. Is there something you want to tell me?" Rose stopped packing momentarily before scooting off the bed and closing the bathroom door.

"It's just that, I know I am in pretty decent shape, but I'm just not comfortable yet with hanging out in a swim suit. Are you?" Bella looked uncomfortably at Rose before she let out an exaggerated sigh. She almost forgot who she was addressing.

Rosalie was beautiful. Probably had never been anything but beautiful. Even with her body being out of whack from motherhood and her hair weaved into a no-nonsense french braid, she was glowing.

"Well, bikini days are bye-bye, that's for sure. But I think, no, I _know_ that Emmett prefers me this way. I'm not fat, but I had twins for crying out loud, I'm allowed to have curves." Laughing, she continued. "At least my curves landed in the right places. Bella, trust me, you do not have to worry about embarrassing yourself in a swim suit. The club has a little boutique in it where you can get one. I have one, but I'll need it. Besides, you'll need one for Tansy, anyway. You have nothing to worry about, sister. Alice and I will be there with you." Rose ended her speech by giving Bella a hug.

"Thanks, Rose. I guess I better get this over with." Bella sighed as she went back to Edward's bedroom, passing a smiling Emmett in the bathroom as he went to rejoin his wife.

"So, did she convince you?" Edward said the words as he gave Bella a one armed hug.

"Yeah, she convinced me that this is a horrible idea and that I should just go and let everyone torture me." Bella sighed as she reached over to Tansy and smoothed her hair down. "I don't know if it's such a good idea to leave her with you Edward, she's trying to copy your hairstyle now."

Bella and Edward both laughed as Tansy let out a happy gurgle from between them.

"I was going to ask Alice to have her hair cut. I can't believe how much it's grown. I love the curly, but it does need to be trimmed so it's out of her face." Bella sighed as she put a floppy, blue hat on Tansy's head and tucked her hair under it. "Let's get this over with."

As they walked into the hallway, Jasper and Alice were walking out of his bedroom. "Oh, Edward, is it alright if we ride with you three?" Alice practically pounced on Tansy when she saw that she was wearing the hat.

"Sure, no problem if you don't mind riding in the back next to her car seat." Edward looked at Jasper for confirmation, knowing that Alice would have no trouble in the backseat but Jasper's much taller frame would be contorted into a pretzel.

"No problem. I think Alice needs her 'Tansy-time' for the day." Jasper laughed as he used Bella and Alice's word for special time with Tansy.

After another dramatic sigh from Bella, Edward decided to rush things along.

"Why don't we leave now since Alice and Bella will need to shop before the others get there. I'll get her medication from the fridge and let the others know to meet us there." Taking the diaper bag from Bella, he slung it onto his shoulder with his gym bag before stealing a quick kiss from Bella. "I'll meet you at the Volvo." He said, tossing the keys to Jasper as he made his way down the hall.

Edward stopped short as he entered the kitchen. He laughed as he saw Carlisle setting up an extra large coffeepot in the space where the old 12-cup pot used to be. As a finishing touch, Carlisle slapped a large purple bow onto the machine.

"No more waiting for coffee, especially if you all are going to be bringing your girlfriends around." Carlisle smiled at his son before reaching into the sink to wash the used coffee cups.

"She's going to love it. Hey Dad, could we just meet you at the club? Bella and Alice need swim suits anyway, so they're going to have to look around for a little bit." Edward reached into the refrigerator for the things they would need for Tansy as Carlisle rinsed another cup.

"No problem, I'll let the others know. Your mother just decided to take a quick shower." Carlisle shook the water off the cup before placing it into the drying rack. As Edward looked over at him he could have sworn he saw Carlisle smiling.

"Right. Well, we will see you there." Edward added a cold pack from the freezer to the pouch in the diaper bag and hurried out the door to join the others.

The ride to the club was quick. For once in her life, Bella wished that the L trains ran at street level instead of overhead. She also felt it necessary to point out more than a few intersections that, in her mind, needed a traffic signal. When she started complaining about how few people used public transportation and how there should be more buses on the street, Alice decided she had enough.

"When you are done picking apart the flaws in the transportation system, maybe you could move on toward world peace, Bella." Alice remarked, ignoring the glare Edward gave her in the mirror. "We are going to enjoy the day whether it takes us 5 minutes to get there or 50. Just deal with it."

Bella huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. She threw one look at Alice and realized that her friend was right. Short of a traffic accident, which Bella didn't wish on anyone, no amount of traffic delays were going to stop them from getting to the place where everyone, except Bella, wanted to be.

"I hope they have coffee ready. I feel like I hardly got any sleep at all." Bella voiced to no one in particular. She shifted halfway in the passenger seat to address the whole car. "I apologize, guys. It's just that these things bring out the worst in me. Someone always makes some stupid comment and I get all defensive. Or Tansy will get sick and I'll get upset and we'll have to leave. I just don't normally put myself into these situations on purpose, so that's the reason."

Alice's hand came around and patted her shoulder as Edward reached to take Bella's hand. The rest of the trip was made in silence as Edward, Jasper, and Alice took turns calming Bella down. As they turned into the parking lot of the club and Edward stopped by the valet entrance he turned to her.

"I'll make you a deal. Anyone says anything to you or makes any kind of stupid comment then I'll pay for the swimming suits for you three. If no one says anything, then you pay for your own. Deal?" Edward held out his hand as the attendant opened his door.

"Fine, Edward." Laughing at his goofy expression, Bella shook his hand to seal the deal before she turned to Alice. "Make sure you look for the most expensive suit there is Alice."

Laughing, Alice began gathering up Tansy and her toys from the backseat. "Bella,I am at a country club. In a car being parked by a valet attendant. I am going to spend the day lounging around by a pool and having other people wait on me hand and foot. Houston, that won't be a problem!" Alice finished as Jasper and Bella joined her laughter and Edward just looked worried.

"Bro, I think you've just been had." Jasper reached over and clapped his brother on the back.

As they made their way into the building, Jasper shook his head as if he were trying to figure something out. "Wow. How many people do we need a table for now?" Jasper tried to quickly calculate their number in his head.

"Eleven. 8 adults and 3 babies. Do they have baby seats here?" Edward asked Jasper who still stood with his mouth open that Edward figured out their number that quickly.

"Now how would _I_ know that?" Jasper looked at Edward as if he had grown an extra head.

"Well, go find out then." Edward made a gesture to move Jasper ahead of him. "We brought her car seat in just in case but it would be nice if you could call Emmett and Rose to let them know. At least if we bring in the car seats then no one has to hold the babies the entire time."

"No Edward. I'll just use her sling. I'd rather not sit her by herself." Bella looked scared as Edward took in the expression on her face. Gone was the playful scowl that she had on when he made his silly bet and in its place Edward could see that Bella was afraid.

"Let's just play it by ear, Bella." Edward reached for her hand as they started walking again.

The five of them walked into the club as Edward and Jasper immediately turned toward the restaurant.

"Eleven, please. And could 3 of those have high chairs? Also, if it's not a problem, one long table instead of a round one?" Edward smoothly talked to the woman even though she was completely flustered by his good looks.

Bella couldn't help but admire how comfortable Edward was in this element. To her, it only served to deepened the feeling that this world, his world, a world of country clubs and attendants, would never be one she would feel comfortable in.

"Of course, sir. It'll be a few minutes for them to set up. Name?" The woman looked at Edward personally, rather than address the group.

"Cullen." Edward said confidently, ignoring the woman as he set his eyes on Bella and wrapped his arm around her waist to draw her closer. "We'll be in the boutique until it's ready."

It was only after Edward drew Bella and Tansy closer to him that the woman appeared to notice them. Bella watched the woman's face crumple into a frown. She had seen it so many times before it was almost comical to her now. Almost. The play of human emotions that showed on people's faces when they saw her daughter was like a series of photos being flipped very fast, as if to imitate movement. It usually started with shock. Bella watched in horrible fascination as this woman's emotions began and she wasn't disappointed.

First was obviously the shock, although this time Bella couldn't tell if it was because of her daughter, or because the other woman couldn't believe that someone like Edward would actually show an interest in someone like her. Bella decided on the latter before she watched the woman's eyes turn quickly and take in the three of them, she was obviously trying to decide if they were really together. Bella bristled as she took in these new emotions and wondered briefly if people realized that they did this or if the woman was just snotty enough that she was doing it on purpose. Having had enough of the woman's unspoken criticisms, she did the only thing she could think of.

She handed Tansy over to Edward. As she settled her daughter into his arms, she looked up briefly and winked at him, causing him to falter over her sudden sense of confidence.

"Honey, I think Alice and I are going to try on a few dresses as well as bathing suits." Bella made her voice as sweet as possible. "You and Jasper will be okay with Tansy, right?"

Edward caught on to Bella's game and played along, even going as far as to lean down and give Bella a kiss before replying.

"Of course. You two go enjoy yourselves." Winking back at Bella, Edward shifted Tansy up to his shoulder. "We'll be along soon."

Edward and Jasper watched as Bella and Alice linked arms and crossed the lobby. Realizing that they stared at their ladies retreating backsides for longer than was considered appropriate, Jasper nudged his brother gently.

"Let me help you, brother." Jasper reached over and took the diaper bag from Edward before he crammed it into the empty carrier that Alice had saddled him with before she took Bella's arm. Edward and Jasper followed behind them at a slower pace, mindful that the girls needed time to shop and that someone had to keep an eye on the main entrance to wait for the others who still had yet to arrive.

Bella latched even tighter onto Alice's arm inside the store.

"What did I do back there, Al?" Bella began breathing fast, as the realization hit her.

"You did nothing wrong, that's for sure. That girl was practically stripping Edward with her eyes. I say you rocked, sister! Who the hell did she think she was? And by the way, that little show of confidence you did at the end with handing Tansy over to him, Bravo!" Alice hugged her friend tightly. "You need to realize that he is there for you Bella. Let go a little each time and trust that he will be there for you."

Bella calmed as Alice hugged her. "He didn't even flinch, did he? He caught right on and played along." Her face broke into a genuinely happy smile as she realized that Edward gave her exactly the boost she needed.

Alice held Bella at arm's length and stared directly up into her eyes.

"Bella, what do you mean playing? That was no play. That was real. Edward is real. He is there for you and he always will be as long as you keep letting him in here." Alice punctuated her words by placing her hand on Bella's heart. Nodding her head as Bella gaped at her she moved to change the subject before Bella could argue with her. "Come on, let's go shopping."

Before Bella could come completely to her senses, Alice had her arms full of suits to try on. Holding them up, Bella immediately rejected some, handing them back with a shake of her head.

"Um, Alice, NO. I'll try anything on as long as its one piece and isn't high cut in the leg or low cut in the chest. Don't they have a simple tank suit?" Handing the rest back to Alice dismissively she turned to sift through a rack of one piece suits that looked like they were meant for competitive swimming.

Bella paused in her search to notice that Edward and Jasper now joined them inside the shop. She scowled at him as he smiled at her dilemma.

"Edward, why don't you and Jasper make yourselves useful and look at the baby section to find a suit for Tansy. Probably a 3-month size will do. Oh, and you better see if they have swim diapers. I don't know if Rose will have any." Resuming her search, it was all Bella could do to not grab her daughter and head for the hills. Knowing that if she didn't find a suit, and soon, she would be forced into something that someone else picks out for her.

"Oh my God, this one is mine." Alice said, holding up a black one piece accentuated with gold lame on the sides. "Oooh, the gold will make me look longer." Alice fingered the material almost reverently.

Bella had to agree that the suit would look good with Alice's pale skin and inky black hair. "Aren't you even going to try it on?" Bella asked, crossly.

"No need. I'm going to put it at the register until after we eat." Alice practically waltzed up to the register, mimicking a woman walking in front of her trying to make herself seem more important than she really was. She stopped just before the woman turned around.

"Name?" The cashier, taking in Alice's little performance, smiled at her as she glanced back at the woman who now waltzed out of the store.

"You can put it under the name Cullen." Alice looked over at Jasper and smiled as she flirted with her eyes.

Jasper stood against the entrance to the store, Tansy's carrier and bag forgotten at his feet. He was leaning against the wall and staring at her with his arms crossed in front of him. He had a smug look on his face as he smirked at her and nodded slightly. He had obviously caught her performance, too and barely moved his eyes as the snobby woman Alice mimicked was leaving.

"I'm sorry. You have to have a membership to come in here. Are you a family member?" The girl looked at Alice apologetically. No doubt wanting her to be able to stay but torn between wanting to keep her job.

Alice looked over at Jasper again and took in his slight head tilt. He wasn't going to help her at all, knowing well enough that Alice could handle herself. Alice threw him a glare, letting him know that he should pay attention and see just what she could do.

Leaning over the glass counter as much as possible, Alice stared into the girls eyes. "I'm not a Cullen, yet, but I will be one day. Believe me when I say I have a good, long memory and you do not want me to remember you for this."

The cashier smiled at Alice, clearly happy that she would be able to help her and not have to kick her out. "Yes, of course. Cullen, right?" The girl made a show of typing things into the computer but made eye contact with Alice as she spoke softly. "Thanks for the entertainment, by the way. I get so tired of the snobs that waltz in here every day like they own this place." She took the suit from Alice and removed the hanger before folding it and placing it to the side behind the counter.

Alice winked at the girl before turning to make her way to Jasper. She all but fell into his arms and was rewarded with Jasper embracing her as he leaned over and whispered, "that's my girl."

She turned from his embrace and leaned against his body as they waited for Edward and Bella to finish.

"I'm just going to go with this green one." Bella said as she walked past Edward.

"Do you want to try it on?" Edward asked her suggestively. "I could help you." He whispered the second sentence in her ear slowly. Edward's suggestion stopped Bella in her tracks.

"You've helped me enough today already. I just have to get through this." Bella looked so out of her element that Edward almost regretted bringing her here. He wondered if she used up all her confidence with the show at the restaurant and decided to move her along before she lost her cool completely.

"Let's go, Bella. We're here to have fun today." Edward said, tossing a light green bundle at her. Bella caught just the edge of it and clutched the cloth to her chest as she threw Edward a questioning look. "That's for Tansy. I have an extra towel in my bag that you can use, but she really likes ducks." Edward smiled as he placed his free arm around Bella's shoulder and moved her toward the front of the shop.

"She likes ducks? She told you she likes ducks?" Bella could keep the laughter out of her voice as she walked with Edward and Tansy.

"Yes. She told me she likes ducks. She actually pointed and gurgled to get her point across but I speak her language and she clearly said she likes the duckies." Edward managed to keep a straight face as he led his women to the counter and gave his name as the woman stowed the purchase next to Alice's.

Bella laughed at the nonsense Edward was spouting but could find no fault in his wanting to be playful and lighthearted. She loved this side of him, the happy-go-lucky side. She wrapped her free arm around his waist as she fell into step next to him.

As the foursome made their way back to the restaurant, they noticed that Carlisle and Esme were already seated with coffee cups and food in front of them and a twin in the other. Figuring that Bella would want to sit away from the center of the room, Edward led her to the side that was closest to the wall.

"Let's try again for the 'good morning'. Emmett and Rosalie are already up at the buffet if you would like to join them? Edward, I can hold Tansy if you want. Ethan can sit in the chair by himself for a little bit." Carlisle placed Ethan in the high chair next to him and held out his other arm for Edward to give him Tansy.

"Oh, uh, thanks, Carlisle. Are you sure you can handle these two together? They don't exactly mix well. Kind of like oil and water." Bella looked embarrassed as Edward handed her daughter over.

"Oil and water, my foot – it's more like ammonia and bleach! Don't lie to him Bella!" Emmett came back to the table with his plate piled high with food. He sat down in the chair on the other side of his Ethan's highchair. "I got him, Dad. Thanks."

"Acutally, I think I'll feed Tansy first and then go up. You guys go on ahead." Bella reached for the diaper bag from Jasper and placed it on a chair before she started to dig through it. As she expertly readied her daughter's breakfast she said to herself the same words she had said so many times before. "It may not be breast milk, Tansy, but it's the best I can do for you." With those simple little words, Bella had managed to absolve herself each time of the twinge of guilt. It didn't matter that she wasn't a perfect mother, what mattered, what she had to convince herself of each day, was simply that she was doing what was best for her daughter.

Once she had everything settled, she reached to take Tansy back from Carlisle before settling her into the crook of her arm as she sat down in the corner. She was grateful that those left at the table with her, Emmett, Rose, Carlisle, Esme, and the twins, ignored her as if what she was doing was the most natural thing in the world.

Bella uncapped the NG tube that was constantly taped to Tansy's cheek and was connecting the syringe to give her the mixture. She pressed the plunger a little bit to make sure Tansy was accepting it o.k. Little by little, she pressed it down, slowly giving her daughter the small amounts of nutrition that would help to keep her healthy and hopefully help her get stronger. She was almost halfway through when a waitress came by and seeing what she was doing asked her ignorantly if she wanted to go into the bathroom to finish feeding Tansy.

"Uh, Miss, do you mind taking that into the bathroom?" The waitress asked.

Bella looked up at the woman and paled more than her normal complexion before her cheeks turned pink. She looked at the people around her before decided that she had enough and decided to stand up for herself before anyone else jumped in to fight her battle for her.

"No, I would not like to take _this_ and feed my daughter in a bathroom. Would you eat in a bathroom?" Bella's hurt feelings were pushed to the side as strong Bella came forward to defend her daughter.

"Uh, no miss, I wouldn't but of course, I don't eat like that and uh, it might be better if…" she stammered.

"Better for whom? Certainly not better for my daughter and I." By now everyone that was left at their table was staring at her, their looks somewhere between shock and surprise. "We are not bothering anyone or making any noise at all. So if you don't mind leaving me to finish up here, I would appreciate it." Bella looked down at Tansy so no one could read her face.

"I understand, miss. I just thought you'd be more comfortable in the bathroom, but…" Again Bella cut her off.

"Let me get this straight. You think I would be 'more comfortable' sitting in a bathroom stall, feeding her breakfast rather than sitting at an actual table?" Bella laughed and shook her head as she again looked down at Tansy, signaling to the waitress that the discussion was over.

"Excuse me, is there a problem here, miss?" Carlisle now stood next to Bella with one hand on her shoulder and the other on his hip.

As the waitress started to explain herself again, Alice, Jasper, and Edward came back to their table. Edward never bothered sitting down. He immediately joined Carlisle next to Bella and Tansy.

"I was just trying to explain that we normally encourage breastfeeding and feeding babies in a more inconspicuous area of the restaurant. That's all." The waitress looked embarrassed now as she watched Edward gently brush Tansy's hair with his hand.

"No, that's not all. My daughter was sitting here minding her own business and no one at all was paying attention to her. What you've done is clearly attract attention to her and my granddaughter and I would appreciate it if you would leave my family alone. Now!" Carlisle moved his head to the side indicating that the waitress should leave.

By now Bella's tears were silently dripping down on her daughter's outfit. There always seemed to be someone who said something stupid to her. She wasn't causing any trouble or making a scene. More than the hurtful words spoken by the ignorant girl, Carlisle's words cut into Bella's heart. She hadn't considered herself anyone's family in so long. It felt so nice and comfortable to hear Carlisle speak it with such warmth. His words cradled Bella's heart warmly while also roughly slicing it open.

After the waitress left, Bella looked up at everyone with her eyes full of the tears that didn't yet fall. "I'm so sorry everyone. I swear we were being quiet, she wasn't even crying. I didn't think anyone would care. Thank you Carlisle, that meant a lot to me." Bella leaned over and placed her head briefly on Carlisle's hand that was still resting on her shoulder.

Carlisle crouched down to see Bella's eyes. "Bella, I meant it. I already consider both you and Alice as my daughter. I would expect nothing less than someone in my family to defend another family member. That's what we do. Relax now – we're here to take care of you and Tansy." He leaned over and kissed her cheek before going to sit back down with Esme.

As Edward sat down by Bella's side, his arm never left from around her shoulder. He pulled her chair so it was right up against his and he alternated feeding her as they shared the food from his plate. Bella leaned her head on his shoulder to show her thanks as she continued feeding Tansy.

"You know, Rosie," Emmett said between mouthfuls of food, "Ethan looks kinda hungry, you didn't feed him very long this morning."

Rose looked over at her husband and saw the evil look in his eye. "You're absolutely right, Em, I did shortchange him this morning. I don't know how I could have been so careless. Would you mind handing me that blanket babe?" Rose reached over the table to take their son from Emmett and carefully settled him to nurse as she draped a blanket over her chest, Rose continued eating. The whole table had the same reaction. They were _daring_ another person to come by and make a remark about feeding babies in public.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I should have waited for you. I apologize for leaving you alone like that." Edward leaned over and kissed Bella.

"It's alright, Edward, I sent you to get the food, after all. Like I said before, there's always someone who will make a stupid remark or comment. It's just a fact of life. Before Carlisle came over, she actually suggested I should take Tansy into the bathroom to eat because I would be more comfortable there. I asked her if she frequently took her own meals into the bathroom to eat." The whole table shook with laughter as Emmett said "Must be some special kind of bathroom."

Just as the group was finishing up their brunch, Alice made her way behind Edward and began massaging his shoulders playfully as she reminded him that they were owed new suits and they needed to be picked up at the shop. Edward excused himself as their group stood and began heading toward the door.

Edward met up with them again in the large hallway outside the locker rooms. He handed a large bag to Alice.

"I got a couple of extra towels and a few small toys for the kids." Edward sat down on a bench next to Bella and gave her a kiss.

"That's sweet Edward, thank you." Bella handed him Tansy as she and Alice sorted through the bag. "I can't believe I am really going to do this." Bella sighed as Edward leaned in to her.

"Believe it baby; I can't wait to see you in that suit." Edward whispered the words into Bella's ear so softly she was glad she was sitting down, it would have definitely would have made her weak in the knees. "Do you want to change first or shall I?"

"Go ahead. I can wait. I'll change Tansy and bring her into you before I go change." Bella was turning pink right before Edward's eyes.

"Ladies and gentlemen, might I suggest we take this conversation into the locker room?" Carlisle looked over his group and gestured over to the doors.

"Let's get this over with." She stood and took Tansy from Edward as he grabbed for the diaper bag.

They split up at the doors to the dressing rooms. Rose was carrying Ethan and Emmett was carrying Emily. They gave each other a laugh at their predicament and then reached over to swap the babies. The whole group laughed as Emmett tried to dig a swim diaper and Ethan's suit from the bag that was hanging on Rose's arm.

Bella and Rose waited to change until Esme and Alice were done and then handed the babies off to them as they changed. Bella felt more at ease when she was fully clothed. She wasn't sure how to react to seeing Edward's family so, well, naked. She shouldn't have worried though, Esme made her feel so comfortable. As they got Emily and Tansy ready for the water, she held up her daughter in the little yellow suit.

"Edward has good taste. That suit is perfect on her." Alice came up behind Bella to give her a hug.

"Edward picked out Tansy's suit?" Esme looked surprised.

"Well, he lost the bet, again, so he had to buy our suits. I told him to pick one out for her. He was really cute about the whole thing. He said Tansy told him she loves duckies." Bella looked uncomfortably at Esme to explain that Edward lost the bet.

"Oh, I didn't realize. I was just surprised that you had him pick something out for her." Esme adjusted her robe and slipped on her sandals.

"We made another bet, too. In the car I bet him that someone would say something stupid and sure enough. But if that confrontation is the worst thing I hear today, I'm okay with that. I'll still sleep tonight knowing I did the right thing." Bella handed Tansy to Alice and pulled the green one piece suit out of the bag. She quickly changed, not wanting to be embarrassed in front of Rosalie, who was so comfortable in her own skin. She had none of the insecurities that Bella did even though they had both given birth recently.

"Bella, you worried for nothing, that suit looks amazing on you." Alice handed Tansy back to her as they locked their belongings in a locker.

"Thanks Alice. But it still doesn't mean that I am going to enjoy this." Bella held Tansy directly in front of her as they made their way to the pool area.

"Wow, where do we sit?" Bella looked overwhelmed as she took in the children's play area that was attached to the Olympic size swimming pool complete with diving boards.

"Silly Bella, with the boys of course." Alice immediately went over to Jasper who was eyeing her appreciatively.

She was so busy taking in her surroundings that she didn't realize that the boys were already sitting between where the 2 pools came together.

As she looked over at Edward, she suddenly wished that she was wearing a t-shirt to cover up. He was looking at her, making eye contact, but there was something in his eyes that told Bella he had already looked at her body. She could feel her face turning red as she walked up to him with Tansy covering her in front.

"Thanks for the suits, Edward. They're very nice." Bella held up Tansy for Edward to see her suit, hoping to take the focus away from her own suit.

"I have to agree with you, they are very nice." Edward reached for Tansy to pull her away from Bella's body.

Before she would give her over to him, she looked around quickly. She went and sat at the edge of the pool and dangled her feet into the water. At least this way, no one would see her body. As she sat Tansy down on her lap, Edward came over and sat next to her. He was holding an inflatable baby float for Tansy. As he blew it up, Bella looked over every so often. How could anyone look so good just blowing into an inner tube?

Once he was done, he placed it next to her on the deck of the pool. He jumped into the water and quickly came up next to where she sat.

He reached up and brought the ring into the water. Pushing it up to Bella's legs he motioned for her to put Tansy into the float.

"How deep is the water here Edward? Maybe we should go where it's more shallow?" Bella asked.

"She'll be fine here, Bella. The water is perfect and if we keep her away from Ethan she'll have a lot of fun splashing around with us. It will be like one huge bath to her." Edward again pushed the ring closer to Bella.

She placed Tansy into the ring carefully. Suddenly, she became fearful. She never had Tansy in such a public place and this pool was huge!

"Please hold on to her Edward, just until I get in the water." Bella looked panicked.

"Relax, Bella, I've got her. She's fine. See, she likes it in here." Edward motioned for Bella to come and join them in the pool.

Bella slid down into the pool, going under and quickly coming back up beside Tansy. Her brown hair was matted to her head but she didn't care. The free feeling of being weightless, of having no responsibility on her shoulders felt so good. She couldn't remember when she last felt like this.

As she bobbed next to Tansy, her daughter let out a squeal. She really was enjoying herself. Bella smiled over at Edward, her body issues completely forgotten as she wrapped herself in the moment between her daughter and the man they both loved. Her only worry now was if they could get through this day without another rude comment.


	12. Chapter 12 Everybody Into The Pool

Thank you everyone for your patience.

Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight Saga.

Chapter 12 – Everybody Into The Pool

* * *

As Edward swam around with Tansy in the float, Bella had to admire how good of a swimmer he was, and how good he looked in a pair of swim trunks. As he turned away from her, she noticed a tattoo on his shoulder blade that she didn't see before. Bella knew that both of his brother's had them and in fact, Emmett had more than one and Alice went on about Jasper's forever one night when she first found out about it. It never occurred to Bella that Edward might have one too. In the water, and because he was moving so much she couldn't make out what it was, except it was yummy against his unblemished skin.

On the other hand, as she watched him move effortlessly in the water, she also had to admit that swimming was definitely not her thing. She was sure she wouldn't drown, and was reasonably sure that she could save someone if their lives depended on it. But she also knew she wouldn't be winning any medals. Treading water and doggy paddling were the extent of her water abilities, but at least it gave her time to look around at the others.

Carlisle and Esme were almost asleep on their lounge chairs, their hands joined together over the sides; identical smiles on their faces. Alice and Jasper were at the far end by the diving boards trying to best each other with fancy moves that Bella had no idea how Alice even knew. Looking around her in the water, Bella saw Emmett and Rose pushing the twins closer to Edward and Tansy. Treading water nearby, she watched the interaction. It didn't last long before Tansy saw Ethan and let out a yelp.

Bella watched as Tansy threw herself forward and then back in her little float, causing the water to splash around her. To Bella, it couldn't be any clearer. As long as her daughter didn't actually _see_ Ethan she was ok. He could be next to her or right behind her and she would be okay as long as she didn't see him. If she saw him she just plain cried. _Out of sight, out of mind_, Bella thought as she laughed at the scene a few yards away. Emmett swam toward her, expertly pushing Ethan in front of him in his own little float. As they neared her, Bella felt her smile widen.

"I don't know Bells, Tansy has it out for my man E here. She can't stand being by him." Emmett looked put out and Bella realized that he was probably taking the rejection harder than Ethan.

"Oh, he can be _near_ her, just don't let her _see_ him. The trouble is, Ethan _wants_ to see her. Big surprise that your man E there is so up front with everything and not content to just let things be. You've got a little instigator on your hands Emmett Cullen." Bella punctuated her words by sending a little splash toward Emmett's face.

The seven of them splashed around as a group until Bella noticed that Tansy's head started to bob up and down tiredly. Just as she was figuring out how to get herself out of the pool _with_ her daughter _without_ looking awkward, she noticed Alice standing at the pool edge holding a tray full of icy looking drinks.

She motioned to Edward with her head before she made her way to where Alice was standing. Alice handed the tray to Jasper before reaching over to grab a towel from a chair near where Carlisle and Esme sat with their eyes still closed.

"Bella, here, I have a towel for Tansy. Why don't you let me take her for a bit and you can swim with Edward? She looks like she's getting tired." Alice knelt down and reached for Tansy with the towel.

"I've got a better idea Alice. Why don't you and Jasper come in the pool and I'll watch Tansy? Just take her for me until I get out." Bella began her awkward climb out of the pool. Hoisting herself up on the edge, Bella almost crashed her face into the concrete when she heard a wolf whistle from the direction of the water.

Turning fast, she looked to where Edward and Emmett tread water, both their jaws dropped. They had identical stunned looks on their faces except Emmett held his sons float with one hand and pointed to Edward with the other, indicating falsely where the whistle came from.

Bella scowled at both men as Edward began splashing his brother, clearly upset that Emmett had whistled at her. As she straightened up to take Tansy from Alice, she felt rather than saw what had caused the men to stare. Groaning, she turned around quickly and fixed her suit, digging the fabric out from between her cheeks. Looking purposefully at Edward she tried her best to glare at him but could do nothing but return his smile. She even managed a small laugh at Emmett, who was now being chastised by Rose for giving Bella a wolf whistle and blaming Edward.

"Go ahead Alice, have fun with everyone else. Hey, I didn't know you knew how to dive. Where did you learn all those moves?" Bella grabbed the towel Jasper was handing her and wrapped herself in it as she moved to take Tansy from Alice's arms.

"I don't know I had those moves Bella. Then I just followed Jasper's lead." Shrugging, Alice handed Tansy over to Bella before reaching to take Jasper's hand.

"Go have fun Alice." Bella said, smiling and shaking her head at her best friend. "I'm just going to stretch out here and relax."

Bella laughed as Alice pulled the much bigger Jasper toward the water and made a show of shoving him in before latching onto his body at the last second and going in with him.

Walking the few steps to where Carlisle and Esme were still relaxing, Bella selected a lounge chair a few spaces down so she wouldn't disturb them. She gently sat on the edge, and carefully scooted herself back, still cradling her daughter against her chest. As she leaned against the back she looked down to notice that her daughter was already half asleep.

Glancing in the water, she noticed the 5 adults treading water in a circle and just pushing the baby floats between them as they talked among themselves. Whatever the topic was, it was serious judging by the looks on their faces and Bella was grateful that she got out when she did. Whatever it was, she wanted no part of it, she had enough seriousness to last her a good long time.

Bella smiled as she made eye contact with Edward. She knew without looking at his hand gestures that Edward wanted her back in the water, but there was no way she was going to release her daughter to anyone and she wasn't about to wake up Carlisle or Esme. Besides, she enjoyed moments like this way too much.

Making a gesture with her hand to indicate the sleeping baby, she waited for Edward to acknowledge her. He responded with a thumb up and a nod before he turned his attention back to the group in the water.

Bella shifted her daughter to her shoulder to get more comfortable. She knew Tansy was done for the afternoon and was glad the little girl was about to drift off. She wished she could nap too but as usual her mind raced ahead of her. Hoping that her daughter's motions would calm her, Bella began moving her hand in slow circles around Tansy's back and rocked her gently from side to side. Minutes later, Bella was surprised to find herself zoning out. As she stifled her third yawn, she had just decided to close her eyes when she heard the squishing sound of flip flops coming closer. She quickly opened one eye as she heard the steps stop right next to her. As the nasally, squeaky voice started talking, Bella cringed. It was like nails on a chalkboard and she just knew that Tansy would wake up from it. She quickly pulled her daughter down from her shoulder and protectively held her against her chest, partially covering her with the towel.

"Oh, she's beautiful, how old is she, 4 months?" The blonde girl was loud and talked way to fast and before Bella knew what was happening, the girl had her hand reached out and was chucking Tansy under her chin, effectively waking her up. The baby fussed a bit before becoming fully awake.

"No!" Bella barked out as she smacked the girl's hand away from her daughter. "She's 7 months."

Bella was immediately annoyed with herself that she bothered to respond and moved Tansy into a more protective position against her chest. Unfortunately this also gave the ignorant girl a good look at her too. Bella could tell by the way her daughter's body stiffened against her that Tansy's was getting geared up for a full blown fit over being woken up. Bella scooted to the edge of the chair and stood to rock her gently. As the girls arms moved toward her, Bella turned her body to face the pool, and away from the girl.

Trying to muster up a bit of the confidence she had shown earlier, Bella barked at the girl while still trying to keep her voice low enough to not attract more attention.

"Please leave." Bella gently bounced her daughter, hoping to distract her and knowing it was no use. Between the girls obnoxious voice and actions, she knew her daughter was fully awake, and that more naptime would not be coming any time soon. Happy Mother's Day to me, Bella thought sarcastically.

"Oh, she's so small! I didn't see that she was sick. I'm sorry. I'm Jessica by the way. I just started here last week. You know, you're lucky. My sister has been trying to have kids for like, forever, and she can't have them." The girl babbled on and on, never once noticing how aggravated Bella was. "You know, with her being sick and all, you will have a baby forever with her. She'll probably never really even grow up."

Still rambling on, Jessica began moving from side to side, trying to peek at Tansy as Bella played keep away with her daughter. Finally Bella had enough. She whipped around, not caring that the girl was so close she had to practically jump back to avoid being hit.

"Exactly what do you mean by that _Jessica_?" Bella was seething, but to her it was obvious that the girl took no notice. She was just that dumb. Bella moved her daughter away from the girls reach once again.

"Oh, you know. She's sick right? I mean, she has that thing taped to her cheek. She'll probably always be little and not grow up." The girl looked at Bella and cocked her head to one side, as if Bella herself might have been slow and not understood her. "I mean, she's probably just going to end up being mentally retarded. She'll always be dependent on you. You'll always have a baby." Jessica slowed her last few sentences down to make sure that Bella could keep up.

Bella could not believe the words out of the girl's mouth. She pressed the rewind button in her mind and replayed the episode quickly. Had the girl actually called her daughter retarded? It was just the push Bella needed for her confidence to read its self-assured head. Bella herself now spoke slowly and clearly, letting Jessica know that she had enough.

"What do you think gives you the right to say that to me? Who the fuck do you think you are waking her up and jabbing your fingers in her face?" Bella hoisted her tiny bundle up slightly higher. Seeing just how upset her daughter was, she began to rock back and forth and pat her lightly on her back.

Bella stepped away quickly, realizing that her daughter's well-being was top priority. She knew she could wait another day to berate some idiot person for sticking their nose where it didn't belong. Her daughter's needs, however, could not wait.

With one full blown wail, Tansy had cleared the pool of the Cullen family. Carlisle and Esme were immediately on their feet and surrounding her as the others crossed over to see what was going on and make sure everything was okay. In spite of the people surrounding her and Tansy's crying, Bella was surprised that Jessica's voice was still carrying through to her. Looking around as she comforted her daughter, Bella could see that Esme had turned to engage the staff member.

"Oh, I didn't mean anything by it. Just that with someone retarded like her, well, she'll never grow up completely and she'll always have a baby to take care of. Some people would kill for that. I know my sister would. She's been trying to have…" Jessica stopped as she saw Bella's face break through the sea of family members and turn red with anger.

Quietly Bella handed Tansy off to Alice who took her easily, as if she was expecting it. While Auntie Alice tried to sooth the infant, Bella stepped forward to join Esme.

"Go ahead and call my daughter 'retarded' one more time. I _dare_ you to do it." Bella's voice came out soft as a whisper and the girl immediately backed down as Esme took another turn.

"You ignorant girl. Who do you think you are? What gives you the right to upset my family? Let me tell you something _Jessica_. When my granddaughter becomes a woman, it will give me great pleasure to know that she will belong to this club. It will also give me great pleasure to know that you will probably still be here, playing lifeguard and achieving nothing with your insignificant life because of your narrow mindedness. At least she has people surrounding her to teach her right from wrong, which is something you have clearly not had in your own upbringing. I suggest you remove yourself from this side of the pool for the rest of our stay here." Esme turned and enveloped Bella in a hug as the women turned their backs on the girl who now looked like she might cry.

Bella's face crumbled after Jessica left and she immediately left Esme's embrace for Edward's arms. She rushed forward and fell against his chest. Feeling his arms around her, Bella's slight cries became greater sobs as she gave over to her emotions and let them run amok.

As her crying subsided, Bella turned her head to lean it against Edward's chest. She caught sight of Alice crooning softly to Tansy as the little girl cried just as hard as Bella herself had. Bella felt torn between running to comfort her daughter and staying in Edward's arms after realizing that she herself needed comforting. She stayed in Edward arms a few more moments before slowly releasing him to join Alice and now Carlisle who was giving her daughter a once over as Alice held her.

Bella held her arms out as Alice placed her daughter in them. Immediately her 'mom' mode kicked in, realizing that Tansy was gasping and wouldn't settle down.

"Little girl, if you keep this up you are going to earn yourself a trip to the emergency room. Come on baby." Bella kept up a steady babble of nonsense to her daughter as she walked in the small area that Edward's family occupied. After the last two encounters, she didn't want to run into any more staff members. She also didn't want to burst Esme's bubble by telling her that there was not a snowball's chance in hell that she or her daughter would ever belong to the snooty, ignorant club.

Crossing over to the lounge chairs, Bella sat on the edge and placed Tansy on her lap. She unfolded the blanket and took a moment to rewrap her securely while she kept talking calmly, letting her daughter hear her voice.

"Bella, do you want to try putting her back in the water to distract her? She was having fun in there for a while." Alice stepped forward out of Jasper's arms as she made the suggestion.

"No, Alice. I have her. I just need to get myself together." Bella smiled up at the Cullen's as they encircled her. "Her heart rate is off the charts though. I think maybe I should call it a day you guys. I can take a cab back home though. I don't want to stop everyone's fun."

"Oh please, like we'd have any fun without you here. Besides, it's Mother's Day." Emmett ruffled Bella's hair, earning him a scowl from Edward and a small laugh from Bella herself.

Squatting down next to the chair, Edward lay a hand on top of Tansy's head and the other on Bella's knee. As he talked to Bella, she noticed that he was moving his hand across her daughter's head, smoothing her wavy hair and helping her to calm down.

"Seriously Bella, I want to spend the day with you. I don't care where it is. Maybe once we get her home you can carry her around in her sling and it will help." Edward kissed her cheek softly before glancing around. "Let's get out of here."

Everyone scrambled to gather their belongings, leaving Bella to do nothing but carry her daughter to the locker room. She quietly placed the carrier on the floor before changing into her regular clothes, keeping an eye on her daughter the entire time and forgetting about her modesty.

"Geez Bella, she's not going to disappear on you." Alice, standing in her bra and blue jeans leaned over and tugged on Bella's shirt to pull it back over her head before turning it right side out. "Try wearing it this way." Alice helped her tug it back over her head.

"What would I do without you Alice? I can't even dress myself these days." Bella shook her head pathetically. "I'm a mess."

"Aww, Honey, no you're not. We'll get this all straightened out. I promise sister." Alice eye glittered with tears as she straddled the bench Bella was sitting on and wrapped her arms around Bella.

"Al, what if that bitch was right?" Bella's words were whispered as if someone might overhear her. "What if something is wrong with her? Mentally?"

"Does it matter? I mean sure it will take some more adjustments. But in the big picture does it really matter to you? Would you ever wish her not here?" Alice shook Bella slightly, demanding an answer.

"Of course not! I just don't know that I will be able to give her everything she needs." Bella shook her head to try to clear it and took a deep breath in, holding it for a few seconds before blowing it out.

"Feel better now?" Esme sat on the other side of Bella and wrapped an arm around her. "You've given her everything she needs up to this point. And you've managed it beautifully with precious little help from anyone except Alice. Start letting others help when they offer Bella. No one knows what Tansy needs better than you. So when people offer to help with yard work or housekeeping or whatever the need may be. Let them in to help okay? I don't just mean the men from the bar either, but that's certainly a start."

"Yeah Bella. We all want to help, in whatever way we can. Just let us in." Rosalie stood rocking her daughter who was once again nursing from Rose's open bra. Bella couldn't help but laugh at how casual Rose seemed standing in a women's locker room with her bra half open and a child hanging off it. Smiling up at Rose Bella nodded.

"Thanks you guys. I know I can do this. I know I have to do this, but sometimes that little smidge of doubt creeps in and makes me wonder if I can really do it. These last six months I've been so fixed on her physical problems that I never gave a thought to the mental problems she might face. And you know what? Alice is right. In the big picture of things, it doesn't really matter as long as I have her."

The women finished getting dressed, helping Rose into her clothes and working around her still attached daughter before slamming their lockers loudly and making their way into the hall to join the rest of their family. Bella immediately snuggled up to Edward, handing him the diaper bag instead of the carrier he was reaching for.

"Not a chance Edward. It's my first Mother's Day and I am going to spend the rest of the day with my daughter!" Smiling up at him Edward leaned down and kissed her before wrapping his arm around her shoulder and leading her toward the door with the rest of his family.

Once they were back at the Cullen's house, Bella took Edward's suggestion and began carrying a much calmer Tansy around in her sling. As she snuggled into the plush couch in the family room, she stretched out her legs and yawned before she moved her legs out against the couch and stretched, enjoying the quiet and the coziness of the room. She was grateful that the others were dispersed throughout the house.

"Not exactly how you planned on spending Mother's Day huh?" Bella was rocking Tansy gently now and smiled up at Edward as he handed her a drink and shifted her legs before sitting down and drawing them into his lap. He began rubbing her feet which earned him an audible groan from Bella as she sipped at her drink.

"Are you kidding? I have my daughter curled up next to me, a fruity drink in one hand and a gorgeous man giving my feet a massage. This is better than I thought it would be Edward. Thanks for all your help today by the way."

"I'm sorry about that Bella. I never thought there would be a problem with taking her there." Edward looked genuinely upset over Tansy's treatment.

"Yeah, you'll get used to it. You need a thicker skin that's all. I do have a question that I meant to ask you earlier." Bella was unsure how to bring up the subject.

Pausing his massage, Edward prompted Bella by waving his hand. "And the question is? This is going to be good. You are already turning pink." He smiled at her.

"Um, I noticed you have a… tattoo on your shoulder blade?" Bella stopped at Edward's shocked expression.

"I do?" Edward's head quickly turned to look over at his shoulder and made a show of lifting his collar, trying to get a peek. "When did that get there?"

Playing along, Bella laughed. "Very funny. I was just wondering what that is? I saw the others have one too. Not that I was looking." Bella added quickly, seeing Edward's smirk.

Laughing loudly at first and then covering his mouth with his hand to muffle the sounds and not wake the baby, Edward answered her.

"You're too funny Bella. It's a family crest. It's from the Cullen side. We all have it. I imagine one day Emmett will have Ethan get one also."

"Rose might not let him." Bella warned him smugly.

"Bella? Have you seen Rose's wrist? Ask her what time it is next time you see her and take a good look at her watch. Then, someday, you should ask Esme what she thinks of tattoos. _She_ might surprise you." Edward looked like he just won a contest.

"Are you kidding me?" Bella looked shocked at the idea that Esme Cullen had a tattoo.

"No. Carlisle's father took him to get it done years before he was even married. Carlisle took all of us the minute we turned 18. He didn't force it on us mind you. It was all our own decisions. Edward moved forward and removed his shirt before leaning over give Bella a better look.

"It's nice. Surely Rose and Esme don't have a big tiger inked on their bodies? I would have seen it in the locker room today." Bella looked incredulous as she tried to calm her racing heart from the sight of Edward shirtless.

"Of course they don't have a _lion_ tattooed on them." He replied as he slid his t-shirt back on his body. "Esme has our last name 'Cullen' in a very elegant old script on her hip bone. And, if you believe their story, one of the first things Emmett and Rose did on their honeymoon was go to a tattoo parlor and she had hers done on her wrist. The same script as Esme's. We're a pretty close family in case you didn't catch on to that before." Edward laughed lightly as if to say 'duh'.

"Really? I hadn't noticed." Bella answered him so seriously that they both ended up laughing.

"Bella, I really am very sorry about what happened today. I seriously didn't believe that people were like that." Edward looked ashamed.

"I can't believe you actually bet against me." Bella tried to keep up the joking banter with Edward.

"Does that happen a lot though? People just seemed to throw their advice at you. What gives them the right to do that?" Edward was almost growling.

"I'm use to it. You'd probably be surprised at the ignorance I've encountered. Some people were just not raised to believe that they should hold their tongue. It's almost as if they feel it's their right to tell me how I should raise her. Believe it or not, today when you heard that stupid girl say Tansy will be retarded, that's not the worst thing I've heard about her." Bella's eyes started to glisten.

"It's not?" Edward felt like he was punched in the gut. He was pushing the envelope and he knew it. Did he really want to hear this?

"No. At the mommy and me group I used to go to, a few of the mothers thought that I should go with a different group because of how special Tansy is. Like they know. They didn't realize that she isn't retarded. Just because she's small and sick, and you can tell by looking at her that she is. The director called me one day and asked me not to come back because we upset the other mom's. And Edward?" Bella looked over at him. "_That's_ not the worst I've heard either." Bella now had a small, sad smile on her face.

"Ok." Edward made a show of bracing himself as he turned sideways on the couch and lifted Bella's legs at the knee. He reached over and took her drink from her before placing it on the table in front of them. "Ok. Give it to me."

"I've had people come right up to me and tell me that I should just let her die. 'It would be for the best you know'? I've had more than one person tell me that. In the hospital, once when she was in the ICU I had to stand in the waiting room. This woman, came up to me and said _it_ would be better if I just let _it_ go." Bella sighed, shifting Tansy onto her other shoulder as the baby babbled during her sleep. "She really is my daughter isn't she? Talking in her sleep like that?"

"In more ways than one. You've got my whole family, wrapped around, no, entertwined around your fingers. So does she. You both talk while your asleep. You are both fighters, she against her health problems and you against the stupid people of the world. You're both incredibly beautiful, and you have both stolen my heart." Edward looked up at Bella to make sure she was taking him seriously.

"You saying such nice things Edward. I hope that one day I can accept more than just friendship from you but right now, I really can't and that makes me sorrier than you'll know. You are so good looking, you could have any _Jessica_ you want. You don't see how women just drop around you? The hostess at the club, the cashier, even Ben's wife, Angela. If she didn't have Ben, she would be all over you. But you don't see them, you see us. I seriously can't date, I'm still married. My husband, her father, took off on us. So, my current train of thought is more along the lines of, if the one person that she shares a genetic link with didn't want her, how can anyone else? I am all she has left. And then you come along and act as if it is the most natural thing in the world. You make me feel like there maybe something waiting for me after all this is done. After we fix her up right, you make me feel like I may actually have something to hope for." Bella leaned her head against Tansy's as she continued to rock her and make sure she kept eye contact with Edward. "It's as if your family doesn't care how broken we are, they still see something that might be able to be fixed, in both Tansy and I."

"There is something there Bella. You just don't see it yet – but one day you will. I'll make sure of that." Edward turned his head toward the doorway which was empty. "You can stop eavesdropping now Jasper."

"Yeah, I forgot you can read minds. Hey you two, Mom sent me up here to get you for dinner. Alice mixed Tansy's cocktail for dinner so she's got it all set up for you. She wanted you to be able to actually eat with us." Jasper poked his head in and quickly said the words before leaving.

Bella scooted upward carefully and swung her legs off Edward's lap and onto the floor. "Thanks for bringing me back here Edward. It's nice to have someone else to share the burden." Bella laughed as she stood up to go down to dinner and paused as she stood up. "Edward, I know it can't mean a whole lot right now, but I appreciate your standing by me through this." Bella leaned in to give the now standing Edward a hug, mindful that her daughter lay between them.

"I'll be here as much as you want me to be. No promises, but as much as I can be. Do you really think you are going to be able to finish that room tomorrow?" Edward wrapped his arm around Bella's shoulder as they walked to the kitchen.

"Yep. It's mostly just details that shouldn't take long. Although I have another idea that came to me a short time ago but I want to run past Carlisle before I do anything. Let's go, I feel like I haven't eaten at all today." Bella laughed as her stomach growled loudly and she picked up her pace.

After dinner Bella leaned back and rested her arm around the back of Edward's chair. She smiled at him as he held her daughter so she could finish up her dinner.

"Wow, this was good. I seriously have to thank you all for sticking by us today. It went way above and beyond." Bella picked up her coffee cup with her free hand and held it up for Esme to refill from her new pot. Bella smiled at Esme as she began showing off her Mother's Day present.

"Bella, do people seriously make those stupid remarks to you all the time?" Rose still looked upset and her eyes were filled with uncried tears as she hugged her own daughter close to her.

"Every day and twice on Sundays." Bella said with a smirk remembering how many times it had happened this day. "Yeah, pretty much. Well, any time I've taken her out in public. Usually she's hidden in the sling. But when she's out, at the hospital or doctor's office, yeah pretty much. You get use to it. Alice had defended us on more than one occasion too, she's fierce!"

Bella's remark about Alice earned her another round of laughter as Alice sat happily in Jasper's lap, looking anything but fierce.

As Carlisle stood and began clearing the table for Esme, Bella looked up and him and smiled as he took away her plate.

"Thank you Carlisle. I would like to speak to you for a moment later if you don't mind?" Bella looked over to make sure it was ok.

"Before bed then, we'll talk. Right now, I have to do the dishes for my beautiful wife." With Carlisle's words reminding everyone that it was Mother's Day, everyone began standing and clearing the dining room table.

In no time at all Carlisle was leading Bella to his study so they could talk. "Now, what's on your mind Bella?"

"First of all, I wanted to say thank you for defending me today. It meant a lot to me. My own father passed away years ago and I never really got to know him well. I appreciate that you were there to step in when I needed the help. I don't think that woman would have backed off if it was just me. Second, I was wondering if you could fill me in on your family's crest symbol? I noticed Edward's today and that you all have them." Bella realized after she said it that she made it sound like she was checking them all out but the pool. Her cheeks blazed red as she stared at Carlisle.

"Ah, it's kind of hard to not notice it. It is the Cullen Family crest. It comes from Europe. My grandfather and father both had one. There are subtle differences to each of them. My father never had his colored in. Mine and Jasper's might look brighter because our skin is more pale than Edward or Emmett's. Is there a reason you are asking about it?" Carlisle tried to set her mind at ease.

"Well, if it's ok. I would like to paint it in the room upstairs. I am already using Edward's phoenix logo. I'd like to paint this in there as well." Bella looked over at the framed crest that Carlisle had taken off the wall to show her.

"I wish I would have thought of that. It's a great idea Bella. Are you going to tell anyone or just let them see if they can figure it out on their own?" Carlisle was smiling now as he encouraged Bella.

"What do you think?" Bella nibbled a thumb nail as she tried to memorize the picture.

"I think you should just paint it. See if anyone can tell. I'll look for it because I'll know, but make it a kind of hidden picture. Do you want to use that crest to copy it?" Carlisle asked motioning to the one in her hand.

"Could I? I won't take it out of the house. It looks very old." Bella studied the crest carefully.

"That one use to hang in my grandfather's law practice. I had to have it reframed because it was falling apart, but it's been around for a long time. Did Edward tell you about the Esme and Rose's tattoo then?" Carlisle's eyes were shining with happiness.

"It's true then? I never pictured either of them for being into that." Bella's felt her cheeks couldn't burn any hotter.

"They aren't really. But this is something that connects us. Another link. More than just DNA, or marriage. It makes us feel connected to one another. My own father explained it to me this way. Even after we die, the physical chain will be broken. But the physical body will always have this connection to us that are living. My ancestors all had this same crest inked somewhere on their body, even though they are long since passed on, we are connected. My father had his on his upper arm – I choose my shoulder because at work I like to remain professional. Everyone chooses for themselves. I never forced my boys to get one, though I was dam proud that they did. And Esme I guess just didn't want to be left out. She felt it wasn't fair to her. Rose just followed suit." Carlisle looked very proud of his family.

"Thank you Carlisle, for everything." Bella stood and gave him a hug as she got ready to leave. "I'll replace this tomorrow night if that's ok?"

"Very ok." Carlise replied with a nod. "And Bella, thank _you_. You've done so much more for this family than just paint a room. One day you will see that."

In the hallway, Carlisle briefly gave Bella a hug before going to join his family. Bella took a moment to dah upstairs and put the picture in the room where she knew it would be safe.

While she was up there she looked around. She gathered up all of her drawings and pictures and stuffed them into her portfolio. Right now the place looked chaotic. She had her paints piled in a corner on a dropcloth. There was one corner that was free of clutter. It held the rocker and a small rug. As she looked around, she had to fight the urge to start painting and clearing the room. As it was, she knew she'd be up at daybreak to get started. She would have to talk to Alice and have her bring the actual furnishings that she had made to the house tomorrow. She still wasn't sure if Alice was staying for one last night or if she was going to have Jasper drive her home tonight. She quickly put the crest in a safe spot and went to join the others in the living room.

She stopped in the archway of the living room and her heart melted. She saw Edward sitting crossed leg on the floor. In front of him he held Tansy in a sitting position on a blanket. There were various baby toys scattered around the blanket. To one side, Emily was laying down on her stomach trying to grab for something, and farther away from Tansy sat Ethan, being minimally supported by Emmett. Bella quickly took her phone from her pocket and snapped a picture.

Crossing over the room, Bella went and sat on an empty edge of the blanket. She held out a random toy for Emily to try to grab. Looking around the room again, she noticed that the only ones not in attendance were Alice and Jasper. She shuddered when she thought of where they might be, and what they might be doing there. Rose was kneeling behind Emmett, rubbing his shoulders and neck lovingly as he played with the kids on the blanket. With Carlisle and Esme cuddling on the loveseat the whole scene reminded Bella of tv show.

"Esme, I plan on finishing the room tomorrow. I'm going to have Alice bring everything from the house. Did you want me to clear it out so you can see it empty, or do you want me to set it all up completely and then you can see it? I just have a couple of more things to paint and set up." Bella teased Emily with a teddy bear and earning a giggle from the baby she laughed back. "Emily, you are just too stinking cute to not pick up."

Bella picked up the little girl and sat her across from where Tansy was sitting well supported by Edward. She was grateful that at least two of the babies got along well, or as well as babies could.

"Bella, are you sure that you're going to finish tomorrow? The room is kind of a wreck. I really would like to see it empty first and then we can add the pieces to make sure everything goes well together. I don't want to clutter it right away and realize afterward that something is out of place. It's always easier to add than to take away." Esme reached for her coffee cup on the little table.

"After Alice brings her stuff in tomorrow, I'm going to start packing things up to take home. I'll probably need to make two trips to get everything home. Unless you know someone who has a truck?" Bella laughed.

"I can take my truck from work Bella. If your car isn't running right, why don't we take both my car and truck and load the stuff up? That way you at least have a car to use until Rose can get over to your place and fix yours." Edward made the offer and nodded at Rose for approval.

"That's right, I almost forgot about that Bella. When do you want me over to look at it?" Rose stopped rubbing Emmett's shoulders momentarily as she looked over at Bella. She had such an excitement in her eyes that Bella didn't dare refuse.

"Whenever you get a chance is fine Rose." Bella said with a laugh as she put Emily back on the blanket. "If Edward doesn't need his car, then I guess there's no urgency. Thank you both."

Edward nodded his approval and Bella thought she saw him glance at Rose to give her an extra nod but she didn't want to make accusations without being 100 percent certain.

"I'll go in the morning early to switch them and have one of the guys drive me back over. I should really check in on a few sites too. Will you stick around and I'll help you tomorrow evening?" Edward held Bella's stare over the kids.

"I have an idea. Bella, I'll watch Tansy tomorrow morning while you and Edward go get the truck and then you can follow him back here and work on the room. I think you'd be interested to see exactly what his company does." Esme sipped delicately at her coffee as Carlisle rubbed her shoulders gently.

"I should have asked that before. I've been so caught up in my own world I never thought. I know it's something to do with construction." Bella stretched over to take Tansy from Edward after taking in his nod.

"Yeah, historical rehabs mostly. Hey now, I was doing fine with her. Go get your own baby to play with. There are two others to choose from on this blanket you know." Edward managed to look put out that Bella took Tansy, as if they were the kids and she was stealing his toy. Everyone in the room managed to start laughing before Bella could answer.

"I know, but Emily kills me with those pretty blue eyes, and I'm afraid Ethan will just kick my butt. I don't dare tear him away from his daddy." Laughing, Bella nodded to where Emmett way on the floor, roughhousing with his son.

"Alright fine. Come here niece. We'll have you sitting up in no time." Edward immediately placed Emily in a sitting position in front of him and across from Bella and Tansy. He never noticed the surprised looks the rest of his family exchanged around him.

Playtime went on for only a short while after that before the babies started getting fussy and the adults decide it was time for them to sleep. After the toys were put away and everyone moved on to their own rooms, Esme cornered her husband in their bedroom, practically jumping on him in her excitement.

"Carlisle, did you see the way he picked up Emily?" Esme was beaming with happiness as they got ready for bed.

"I saw that. Bella doesn't even know what she's done to him. I doubt we will ever fully make her see that either." Carlisle slipped his arms around his wife, drawing her into his embrace.

"I've never seen him reach for either twin, ever, even when they were born. Usually we will just hand one over to him and he'll hold them. That's the first time he has ever initiated it and I know Emmett and Rose picked up on that too." Esme slipped out of her husband's embrace long enough so that she could change into something more comfortable.

"But how do we make Bella see that she is the one causing all these positive changes in Edward's attitude?" Carlisle sat down on the bed and leaned back on his elbows, wearing only his boxers as he watched his wife move about the room and undress.

"I don't know. It's just so nice to have the old Edward back again. I love having my whole family together and everyone happy. Even Jasper has someone now. All my boys works so hard for kids their age. They all want to be successful but I just want them to be happy. I am so proud of everything they've accomplished. I just wish Edward and Jasper would relax a little more. These girls are exactly what this family needs." Esme casually tossed her hairbrush on the dresser before reaching for her robe and tying it snugly across her waist.

She had only taken a few steps toward the bed when she noticed the smile on her husband's lips. As she drew closer, he reached out and grabbed the tie she had just fastened, using it as a leash to pull her closer and untying it as he opened it to reveal her short nightgown. He slid the fabric upward, softly moving his hands across her skin, knowing what he would find and exactly where it was hidden.

"Did Bella ask you about your tattoo? She saw all of ours this afternoon and specifically asked Edward about them. I'm guessing she didn't notice yours in the locker room today because she was quite surprised to learn that you had one. Apparently Esme, you are not the type to go around marking up your beautiful body." Nuzzling the soft skin of his wife's body, Carlisle sighed and looked up at his wife, who was still standing before him.

Taking two steps back from her husband, Esme let her robe fall to the ground before crossing her hands in front of her and pulling up on her nightgown, putting on a little show for her husband. Now standing in front of him wearing only her panties and tattoo, she moved to lay next to him.

"Maybe she didn't want to ask about it." Esme said breathlessly as her husband trailed kisses down her body until he found his mark.

Carlisle's breathing became panting as he kneeled on the bed before his wife and moved her panties down her legs. Keeping his gaze on the woman in front of him, he slid out of his own boxers before moving to lay next to her instead of on top. Knowing his wife for so many years, he was always in tune to her needs and knew her body well. He began moving his hands over her, knowing exactly how she would respond with each touch.

As he traced the elegant script with his tongue…Cullen, his wife shuddered beside him and he knew, Esme was his for eternity.


	13. Chapter 13 Not So Rude Awakening

Mick's note - this chapter is being posted with my most sincere apology. I have to admit that I thought of giving up on this story...Those of you that keep in touch with me via email know that the precious child that inspired this story has passed away. For all the words I have typed, there just didn't seem to be anymore that I could add that would make this tragic situation any better. How unfair and unjust is it that I can write an ending, happy or sad, for my character, and yet I could do nothing more than offer a few lame little words of encouragement to my friends. We are coming up on the 1 year mark of precious little Evelyn's death and it hit me that, although she lost her courageous battle, my character of Tansy could not...would not. With that thought in my head, I am set on finishing this story, if for no other reason than to ease my own sadness for there truly is nothing I can say to take away the sting of losing a child. It is a feeling that way too many of us are familiar with. Thank you all so very much for all the words you sent me, they truly helped me when I could find none of my own...I may not have been able to save Evelyn's life, but I am going to save Tansy's. :)

and before I forget, Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight Saga.

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Chapter 13 Not So Rude Awakenings

"I'm actually looking forward to tomorrow Bella. I'd like to show you what I do for a living." Turning as he spoke, Edward finished tying the drawstring of his pajama bottoms. He frowned when he saw Bella looking down at her daughter in the middle of the bed. "What's wrong?"

Crossing the short distance between them, Edward wrapped his arms around Bella and waited for her reply.

"Yeah, that'll be nice. I'd like to see where you work." The words fell from Bella's lips, like an automated response to his question.

"But that's not what's bothering you. What is it Bella?" Edward turned Bella's body to face him and noticed that while her body turned, her face remained focused on the baby on his bed.

"She went to sleep too easily tonight." Bella's forehead was creased in a frown. "I forgot to pack her thermometer. I hope she's okay."

Edward wrapped his arms completely around her, noting how perfectly she fit into his embrace. Realizing that these health issues were the center of Bella's life right now, Edward decided to take a back seat. He stepped away and moved closer to Tansy, observing her silently.

"Does she have a fever or something then?" Edward leaned across his bed brushing Tansy's hair gently from her forehead before resting his palm against her skin. "She doesn't feel warm."

"No, maybe she just tired herself out from today. I am just being a worrywart. I can't believe I forgot that damn thermometer. I never forget that thing, I'm such an idiot!" Bella berated herself as she took in Edward's fatherly concern. She gave a two second thought to Jacob and wondered if he was enjoying himself wherever he was while she and Edward worried over little Tansy.

"Listen, if you're that worried, I happen to know there's a damn good doctor in the house. There also happens to be a set of twins rooming with their parents next door and I bet they would have one. Want me to ask?" Edward was already straightening up and making his way toward the door before he heard Bella call to him.

"Maybe ask Rose instead of Carlisle. It's probably nothing and I've already bothered him enough today." Bella moved to sit down on the edge of the bed and Edward caught a glimpse of her smoothing her daughter's hair back before he ducked into the hallway.

Knocking softly on his brother's bedroom door, Edward wasn't surprised to hear his twin mumble the same curse word he did, which was exactly what he was interrupting judging from the sounds on the other side of the door. Emmett might be pissed at him briefly for cockblocking him, but also knew that if the situation was reversed, his brother would have no qualms about interrupting Edward during sex if it was in regards to the well-being of his twins.

After hearing a series of soft thuds and muted footfalls, the door managed to swing open and Edward was met with Emmett's glare as he adjusted himself in his obviously too snug boxers.

"Is the house on fire?" Emmett made a show of looking past Edward and down the hall.

He stepped aside just enough that Edward caught a glimpse, actually more than a glimpse of Rose laying only partially covered in the middle of the bed. Edward busied himself with looking at the ceiling when he realized that Rose's breasts were out and there was no child attached.

"Of course not. Listen, I'm sorry to interrupt, but Bella is worried about Tansy and I was wondering if you have a thermometer we could borrow." Edward kept his gaze upward as he caught Rose's movements out of the corner of his eye.

"Hang on a second Ed." Hearing Rose's voice as it moved in the room, Edward momentarily forgot and looked at her across the room. He instantly regretted it as he saw her reach for her robe and put it on, unintentionally giving him a view of her entire naked self. Rosalie Cullen was definitely not ashamed of her naked body.

With a noise that Edward couldn't quite place, Emmett grabbed the thermometer that Rose now held and all but flung it at his brother before shutting the door on him. Edward heard Emmett's voice but not Rose's reply as the bed creaked and he heard a thud as it obviously hit a wall. He briefly felt sorry for his niece and nephew and wondered just how they could sleep in the same room.

Walking back to his own bedroom and the little family that waited there for him, Edward gave more thought to his own predicament. Going and fetching a thermometer hardly seemed like help, but he knew that Bella appreciated it and he had an insatiable desire to help her. No not, help her, to take care of her….and her daughter. He had to help them both. His girls needed his help. _His girls_? Edward's steps faltered briefly and he leaned back against the wall in the hallway. When did he start thinking of them as his girls? Smiling at the thought of calling them his, he continued on to his own bedroom and handed Bella the thermometer, not explaining what his grin was for.

After she had declared that her daughter was fine, she slumped down on the floor next to Edward's bed and rested her head against the back of it before letting out a deep sigh.

"What's that for?" Edward smiled as he looked down at a disheveled Bella before joining her on the floor.

"I can't believe this weekend is over, I had a really good time. I really enjoy your family Edward. This is what it should all be about, making time for each other and being in each other's lives. I never had that. Tansy will never have that." Bella's voice trailed off as she turned her head upward and squinted at the harsh overhead light.

Edward immediately jumped up and turned on the lamp in the corner before shutting off the offending light and watched as Bella's face softened.

"Better?" He asked her before sitting down to join her again on the floor.

"From the light? Yes. From the thought? No. I just can't believe what a fool I was with Jake. I just feel like a fool for panicking about her falling asleep and then even more of a fool because the reason I have her at all is I was foolish enough to believe that he really cared for me. Sorry, I am going off in a million different directions. Just one thing makes me think of another, then another, then another. Before I know it, my mind starts racing and it's really difficult to pull myself back from it sometimes, to focus on a single thought again." Bella explained herself away as Edward reached over and put his arm around her, realizing that she just needed a little support.

Knowing that he needed to take her mind off her current thoughts, Edward decided to try getting Bella to focus on him rather than Jake's abhorrent treatment of her.

"Bella, did I ever tell you what I remember most about meeting you last year at that party?" Edward played with the edge of Bella's hair, hoping that between his arm around her shoulder and the relaxing feel of him moving his hand through her hair she would concentrate on something other than herself and her current situation.

"No. I barely remember that party really. I was in my own little rose-colored world back then." Smiling as she turned her head at Edward, and wanting him to realize that she herself recognizing what he was doing and she was fully on board with changing the subject and trying to take her mind off the current thoughts.

"Well, I had broken up with my girlfriend, which made everyone in my family happy except me. When you mention that this is what family should be about – spending time together like this, you're absolutely right. Tanya didn't see it that way though and took every opportunity to drive a wedge between me and my family. I didn't see what she was doing. I thought she was the greatest thing since sliced bread." Edward shook his head as Bella looked at him, disbelieving that he could have fallen for someone like that.

"Rose colored glasses?" Bella smiled at Edward as she leaned against him harder, nudging him with her shoulder.

"Yeah." Edward agreed with Bella and nudged her back. "Anyway, whenever someone would try to tell me I would laugh it off. And apparently everyone saw it but me. My brothers, my parents, my co-workers. Everyone. It even got so bad as Ben's wife Angela? She refused to go out with us as a couple because of what a 'snotty bitch' Tanya was." Edward mimicked a voice that Bella assumed was supposed to be Ben's wife, Angela. "I wish I would have paid more attention back then to what everyone around me was saying. No one could tell me anything though because I had myself convinced that we were in love with each other."

"So, you didn't love her?" Bella's question snapped Edward out of his memories.

"I thought I did, but the more I began telling her what I wanted out of our relationship and out of life, the more she began pulling away from me. Or rather she began pulling me away from my family. It worked and I let her do that for quite some time. By the time I recognized it for what it was, I was already in over my head." Edward shook his head at his stupidity.

"Like me with Jake. I think a part of me always knew he wasn't right but he _seemed_ so perfect in the beginning. You know what's messed up Edward? All the times Alice tried to tell me that Jake wasn't right for me and I never listened. When I told her I was getting married, she stopped telling me things about him and just stood by me and supported me. Through the wedding, which she planned entirely, through my pregnancy and through Tansy's health scares. She has always been there for me and Tansy. And she never once, not once, threw it in my face the old 'I told you so'." Bella's face became almost reverent as she talked about her dear friend, tears pooling in her eyes but not being given the chance to fall as Edward began speaking.

"See? I find that fascinating." Edward said, turning his body to face Bella. He gave a quick look up on his bed to check Bella's daughter before facing Bella again. "I've talked about this with my mom and dad you know. When I told them how I felt about you. I really didn't need to ask, they're both crazy about you by the way. But I did tell them my intentions to make sure they were aware that someday I would be bringing my ready-made family to join my real family."

Edward stared as Bella's mouth turned into a small smile in complete contrast to the huge blush covering her face neck.

"Esme in particular was grateful. She knew you and Alice were close to each other through work and she kept saying how grateful she was that you had her in your life to step up when your husband failed you. He _did_ fail you Bella." Edward waited for Bella's reaction, not sure if he crossed the line.

"Ya think?" Bella said sarcastically, following it with a most unladylike snort. Giving a quick look to the bed to make sure she didn't wake her daughter, Bella smiled as she tried to lighten the conversation. "What did your dad say about me?"

"He remembers meeting you at the party. He also remembers pulling me off to the side and mentioning that I seemed preoccupied by you. Back then he couldn't tell if it was you specifically or if it was because you had a husband and a child on the way. You see, Emmett and Rose were in the same space as you, with the spouse and the whole family on the way thing. I admit I was a teeny bit jealous of my brother back then so my dad couldn't figure if it was you or the idea of a wife and family that I was hung up on. Remember I was just coming off my relationship with Tanya and maybe it was more than a teeny bit of jealousy." Edward himself was blushing now as he spoke of his feelings toward Bella and his own brother.

"But what did Carlisle say about me? Does he like me?" Bella's voice sounded almost childlike and Edward couldn't help but smile.

"What are we? 12? Does she like me? Does he want to talk to me?" Edward poked fun at teenage angst and pre-pubescent ideals, knowing Bella would pick up on it. "Don't worry, he adores you. What he found most fascinating about your situation though, and maybe it's because he's so close to us all, is that a man could just leave his wife and child. The thought is just so inconceivable to him. I feel like I should warn you though, both my parents have talked to Alice about you. They are both extremely grateful to her, for what she's done for Jasper as well as her being there to support you when you had no one else."

"Well, after Tansy was born I couldn't handle all the restrictions Victoria set in place at work. Alice was the one who helped me see that freelancing my work might be an answer. It's been a little tough, but having Alice as my wingwoman really helps, especially when she moved in with me. She takes care of half of the bills and helps with the house as well as Tansy. Her patience with Tansy is unbelievable. I think she has a soft spot for her because she's on the piddlin' side of puny as Alice would say." Bella sighed and made a move to get up off the floor, stretching as she did.

She raised her hands above her head, pulling her shirt up and briefly exposing her bare stomach to Edward. Still on the floor and in mid-stretch, it wasn't until she heard a soft gasp from him that she looked down and tugged on her shirt.

"Ok, I know it looks gruesome, but it's not polite to stare." Bella tried to joke about her figure as Edward pulled her closer to where he sat.

"That's not it. Not that at all." Edward pulled her to him so that she was cradled in his lap on the floor.

"Well, I know it's not perfect yet, but I'm getting there. I mean, it's taking forever to lose it all, but I have a lot going on! Some days I am lucky I remember to eat at all and some days I only what I can grab as a quick bite of something fast food. I try to watch what I eat." Bella defended herself as she wiggled in his lap slightly, trying to get more comfortable and not wanting to move from his arms.

"Bella, stop rambling. I only caught a small glimpse, but I _want_ to see more." Edward shifted Bella in his lap so she was cradled sideways like an infant. As she shook her head 'no' with a smug little smile on her lips he bent closer to her ear. "Why not Bella? Please? I promise not to make you uncomfortable."

The words were whispered softly and directly in her ear. Edward's soft breath, coupled with the soft feel of his tongue tracing her ear every so often had Bella shivering in spite of her negative answer. Craving more than just a quick look at her exposed flesh, he talked soothingly to her, caressing her as he spoke.

"Edward, why would you want to see my belly? It's never going to be perfect. All the creams and lotions in the world won't help hide those marks." Bella looked over Edward's shoulder at the bed. "They were worth it though."

"Yes they are." Edward agreed as the hand that wasn't supporting Bella's back traveled up her bent legs to her knees. As it continued its journey to her thigh, he could feel her shiver even more as the soft flannel caressed her under his hand.

Rather than go for the obvious kill that he was sure the now quivering Bella was now expecting, Edward moved his hand to run up the side of her hip instead of directly up to her flannel covered sex. As her head fell back, he knew it was the right choice and he could feel her body start to loosen under his hands. He slowly moved his head toward her ear and traced the outside curve with his tongue, causing Bella to sigh and mumble incoherently.

"Bel- la." Edward's voice sang her name softly, whining into her ear just before the tip of his tongue made contact with the sensitive flesh of her neck.

Bella's body giggled and shook as Edward's words and actions teased her and Edward's own body played off hers, thrilling in the fact that he could make her lose control like this. So out of control over her own emotions, Bella's mouth could no longer form the words her mind was trying to get it to speak.

"Edward, I've not been...Oh God! Do that again." Her hands moved as if on their own, pulling her hair to one side and out of the way. Even as she was making it easier for him, another part of her, a much smaller part she acknowledged, tried to get the words out. "I'm not. I don't think I can."

Bella couldn't form a coherent thought as Edward continued, a man on a mission.

Softly touching her and caressing her body, he reached for the bottom of her shirt and lifted it gently. Bella stiffened briefly and moved her hands to tug it right back down before he could see anything. Moving his hands from her waist, Edward cupped her face gently and turned it toward him. The position was awkward as he still cradled her body in his lap, but he knew he would be making them both much more comfortable soon.

As his hands now left her face, Bella tried to tear her eyes away from his. She shifted her head a millimeter, only to have him shift his and catch her eyes with his stare. Looking away and breaking contact was definitely not going to happen from her end. She could do nothing but stare into his eyes, taking in each fleck of color and every ring. She noticed that from the reflection of the lamp, his right eye appeared to shine just a little more, like maybe it had more specks of color to it?

She became so lost in his gaze that she never felt his arm snake around her back again as they reached for the edge of her shirt. Their eyes continued to lock on each other, even as she felt the fabric ride up against her skin. He broke their gaze briefly, needing to blink. As he did, he glanced down before bringing his eyes back to hers again, the question in them obvious as she nodded and stretched her arms above her to help him remove the top of her pajama. Still holding her gaze now, Edward moved his hands sightlessly around Bella's exposed skin. He took the opportunity to 'see' her body as a blind man would, using only his hands and sense of touch. He knew the spot where her daughter once was held as her skin became softer and only slightly loose. He thought briefly of Bella carrying his child there, nestled away safely inside as it grew.

A thought hit him swiftly. Would she even want more children, given all Tansy's cardiac problems? Edward filed away that thought for another time as he pulled back from her briefly to remove his own shirt. Tonight's goal was to help Bella feel more comfortable with him, not to scare her off with talk of their future. Tossing his shirt on top of her own, he reached his arms back around her and drew her exposed flesh against his own warm skin.

As Bella nestled her cheek against his chest, she lazily noticed his left nipple had a mole on it. In fact, she noticed several moles. Moving her eyes downward, she studied him in a way she wasn't able to at the pool. She was surprised to see that although he was certainly fit, he didn't have sculpted six pack abs. The thought of Edward Cullen not being perfect made her laugh slightly as she wondered why she was so afraid of him seeing her. He had no trouble showing off his not so perfect body and he seemed accepting of hers as he drew her closer to him, seeking the warmth their naked skin contact provided. Bella gave herself a shake as her thoughts hit her. After all, when you find someone you truly love, you learn to look past their flaws, just as Edward did.

Edward didn't try to go any farther with Bella tonight. There would be plenty of time to get to know her intimately in the future. Instead, he reached his hand up and grabbed a blanket from the edge of the bed, mindful that it wasn't the one Tansy lay on. He drew the blanket around them both, cradling a nearly limp Bella in his arms.

"We should get some sleep while she's letting us." Edward spoke the words to Bella as he tipped her head up to meet his. He placed a soft kiss on her lips before cradling her even closer against his body. "Sweet dreams Bella."

Her only response to him was a soft moan.

As fast as sleep claimed Bella, wrapped in Edward's warm embrace, was as fast as her daughter's cries woke her a mere few hours later.

Shrugging out of his warmth and instantly regretting it as her nipples let her know she was naked, she reached for her shirt, grateful for the soft lamplight that they had left on. She shrugged into the first shirt she grabbed, barely noticing that it was Edward's and not her own. As she moved toward the bed, she kicked her shirt under it, not caring in the moment. She tugged the sleeves up as she bent over to pick up her daughter, anxious to stop her crying before she woke the entire house.

After a few minutes, and realizing that the pacing the floor wasn't working, Bella made quick work of changing Tansy. She noticed that Edward was now fully awake, and very disheveled looking with the blanket still wrapped around his shoulders on the floor. She threw him a quick apology as she crossed to the bathroom to throw the diaper out, leaving her daughter on the bed for him to watch as she washed her hands. She thanked her lucky stars that Edward caught on and he turned immediately to kneel beside the bed and watch the crying infant, making sure she didn't roll off the bed.

He tried softly talking to her, nonsense about absolutely nothing, knowing it was more the tone of a person's voice that a baby would respond to. It seemed to do the trick for a few seconds before the cries became even louder and he was forced to pick her up. He stood up awkwardly, cradling Tansy against him. As Bella came out of the bathroom drying her hands on a towel, she noticed with a small bit of jealousy that her daughter was the one now lucky enough to be held against Edward's bare skin. In Bella's mind, her daughter had no idea of just how lucky she was in that position as she kept crying. As she watched Edward take a turn pacing the floor, Bella wondered if it was the disruption to her daughter's schedule that upset her.

Together they tried singing, and slow dancing. They swung her around, cradled her close, loosened her pajamas and swaddled her tightly. Still the crying refused to break. Eventually they gave up and decided to try and let her cry herself to sleep. Edward lay her down in the middle of the bed again as he crawled in next to her and lay on his side. He placed a hand gently on Tansy's back and rubbed softly, using a slow circular motion he had seen his mother and Rose use with the twins. He looked so tired that Bella briefly thought of taking Tansy into the other room.

"I'm just going to splash water on my face and brush my teeth. I swear I'll be right back and then I'll take her." Bella's nerves were already frazzled and her frenzied movements caused Edward to chuckle at her as he told her to take her time and that they weren't going anywhere.

"You laugh now Cullen, but sleep deprivation is not pretty, especially bright and early in the morning, don't forget you have to go in to work. I am already at work." With her daughter's screams still echoing in Bella's ears, she quickly made her way to the shared bathroom and closed the door to muffle the screams, hoping that they wouldn't be interrupting Emmett's family.

"Bella? Can I come in?" Rose's voice was soft on the other side of the door as she knocked.

"Hi Rose, sorry if her screaming is keeping you guys awake." Bella was embarrassed, after all, Rose was Emmett's wife, she herself was just a houseguest.

"No Bella, she's fine. I was going to ask if you wanted to bring her in here and try laying her in one of the cribs?" Rose looked upset about something but Bella couldn't tell what was wrong.

"No, I don't want to chance her waking up Ethan and Emily. Or Emmett. I'm so sorry Rose, we'll try to keep her quiet." Bella felt her cheeks turning pink.

"Oh please Bella. It's not like mine have never kept anyone awake. I'm just trying to help. We all are." Rose reached out and gave her a quick hug.

"I know Rose, and I appreciate it. She's with her hero right now. I swear, it doesn't matter what age, that man knows exactly what buttons to push, well, except for tonight obviously." Bella laughed lightly with Rose.

"I know right? You should see him with the elderly neighbor next door. She knows exactly who to call whenever something needs to be fixed. I think he just sends someone from his company there now, because the old woman's flirting has gotten so bad." Rose reached over to take Bella's hand. "He really loves you though. It's nice to see the old Edward again."

Giving her new friend a hug, Rose disappeared through the same door she came through and closed it softly, indicating to Bella that her family was definitely already asleep. Squaring her shoulders, Bella opened the door that led back to Edward's bedroom.

"Geez, Edward, are you pinching her or what?" Bella laughed lightly as she closed the bathroom door behind her.

"I don't know Bella, I hope she's ok." Edward looked concerned.

Climbing onto the bed, Bella crawled toward Edward's side. She shifted Tansy's makeshift bed in the middle and sat next to Edward to put her hand on her daughter's back.

"You know, even with crying jags like this, I still wouldn't trade her for anything. I would still never wish her away or think that I should not have had her. She's everything to me Edward." Bella put one arm around Edward and hugged him close.

"Of course she is." He kissed the top of Bella's head and then the top of Tansy's. "Just as you are now everything to me Bella."

Looking into his bright green eyes, Bella could see that they held nothing but desire. She noticed that Edward's breath hitched slightly, almost as if afraid to say something.

"What was it like? I mean, when you were pregnant with her? What was it like? If you don't mind me asking?" Edward seemed embarrassed as the words tumbled from his mouth in a rush and he had to clarify.

"I don't mind you asking at all. I know a lot of women complain. I can only speak for myself when I say I felt great. I had no morning sickness and my ankles only got swollen toward the very end. I only felt uncomfortable when I realized that she dropped down so far that I could no longer close my legs. As far as the birth goes, I talked it over with both My OB doctor and Jacob. I really wanted a natural birth. I don't have a very high tolerance for pain, but honestly, the pain I did have was worth it." Bella looked over at Edward as she realized that his breathing had gotten quieter when she mentioned Jacob's name.

"You had her naturally then? Nothing at all for the pain?" Edward looked suitably impressed.

"It's called natural childbirth. I did have a midwife there though. Don't put me on a pedestal Edward. I'm not into masochism. It hurt. A lot. All I am saying was it was worth the pain. I just had to keep thinking to myself that there was a goal and with each contraction I was closer. It was funny, looking back at it now; Alice was the only one that stayed with me through the whole birth. I didn't want anyone else in the room. Jacob and the midwife both were annoying so I had to keep asking them to leave. Jake did come in at the very end to cut the cord." Now it was Bella's turn to be embarrassed as she remembered that very important detail and how she remembered it as a mere afterthought.

"Why on Earth wouldn't he want to be there for her entire birth?" Edward sat up and reached for Tansy, snuggling her against his shoulder as she cried. The thought that someone out there wouldn't want to be there to welcome her into the world sickened him.

"To be fair, it was me. I didn't want him in the room. I knew he was there and at the time that was enough. I just found his presence annoying during the actual birth. It was like he thought he knew what was best for me. I was sweating and he was turning up the heat in the room. I was pushing and he was offering me ice chips. Little things like that. I was being stupid really. It's just that every so often, he would come in and ask if I had her yet, clearly if he would have been paying attention he would have seen that I didn't. At one point he asked the midwife if I was done yet! He just kept asking truly insensitive questions at all the wrong times. I asked the midwife to stay out of the room as well. She only came in to check me every so often. Alice stayed through it all though." Bella laughed lightly at her memory.

"Natural childbirth hint #1, if you are going to go through labor, have someone there who can make you laugh. It's strange that I use to think how was I going to get through it, because I really had no clue. My body seemed to know exactly what to do, so I just went with what it was saying. Does that make sense to you?" Bella looked at him and smiled as she held her arms out for her daughter.

"Yeah, Carlisle mentions stuff like that all the time. Like with faith healing and just willing something to be better." Edward paused as he shifted and leaned against the headboard, handing Tansy over to Bella's outstretched arms. "Are you scared for her Bella?"

Edward whispered his question as if he were afraid to actually say it out loud. Instantly regretting the empty feeling in his arms, he reached out and drew both mother and daughter close to his chest.

"I'm scared to death Edward." Bella's whispered words shook with emotion. "If I lose her, I don't know how I would find the strength to go on. Knowing that she should be there with me but she's not. Natural, painful childbirth I can handle, living without her? Uh uh, I couldn't handle that at all. I'm just not that strong." Bella's heart broke just thinking about it and she was grateful for the strength of Edward's arms around them as she shuddered with the sadness of her thoughts.

"Well, it doesn't matter because she's going to do fine. We are all going to help her through this. She's got my whole family wrapped around those tiny fingers. Not to mention she has quite a set of lungs!" Edward removed his arm from Bella and stroked Tansy's small clenched fist as she grabbed a tiny fistful of Bella's shirt.

At some time during the seriousness of their talk, Tansy's cries became interspersed with gulps of air as she finally began to settle down and quiet.

"Do you want to try laying her down?" Edward whispered.

"Sure, scootch over." Bella gently moved Tansy to the middle of the bed and placed the pillows around her again. She looked over at the clock and groaned when she saw that it was now well past 1am. Time seemed to be chasing them all weekend and she realized that their time together was winding down. One more day and then it was back to the grind.

With Tansy secure in the middle of the bed, Edward stretched out on the side opposite Bella, so that the baby lay between them. Propping their heads up on bent arms, they both reached out the other arm to each lay a hand on the now sleeping infant. Edward couldn't resist touching her soft curls as Bella rubbed her back slowly. Every so often Tansy would let out a drawn out "mmmmm" which made Edward laugh and tell Bella that she was definitely her daughter.

"Well, if talking in her sleep is the worst thing, then I'm ok with that." Bella laughed gently.

"Bella, when is her next doctor appointment?" Edward asked.

"Next week. I hope she's ok then. She should be. I know both Emily and Ethan outweigh her now. I asked Rose about it the other night and she got upset at me. That Ethan man, I swear Rose must be taking steroids! He's a little bruiser. It's no wonder Tansy gets nervous around him. I really want to finish the room tomorrow so that I'll have the time to chill for a bit before I start on another project. Plus, I still don't know exactly when she'll be cleared for surgery and I'll need that time off as well." Bella sighed deeply as the overwhelming feeling threatened to take over. Edward recognized her distress immediately.

"Bella, relax. Right now, all you have to worry about is getting some sleep, okay? You're safe here, you both are." Edward motioned with his eyes to the small bundle between them.

Smiling, Bella leaned across her daughter to give Edward a kiss. With a quick glance toward her daughter to make sure she was covered, Bella tucked one arm back under her head and placed the other on top of where Edward's now lay, gently on Tansy's back.

A mere few hours later, Edward groaned as he heard the light tapping on the door. He dared to open one eye to see if either Bella or the baby were awake next to him. From what he could see, neither one was. He heard a mumble from Bella and a returning quieter mumble from Tansy and realized that they were talking to each other in their sleep. Smiling through his sleepiness, he got up and answered the door, facing a way too chipper Alice.

"Good morning Alice." He said sleepily as he tried unsuccessfully to hide a yawn.

"Geez, why are you all still asleep?" Whispered Alice, stepping over to the bed as Jasper came into the room.

"Alice, we just went to sleep a few hours ago. She was a bear to put down last night. I should say this morning." Edward stumbled back to the bed and lay back down, too tired to even argue with her.

"Yeah, we heard her carrying on. Dad even left early for work, saying something about sleeping in one of the on call rooms. He'll be back later but he had a full schedule today so he needed to sleep." Jasper smiled as Edward looked horrified at the thought that his father might be upset enough to leave his own house.

"Was he mad?" Edward asked, glancing to see if Bella had heard Jasper's remarks.

"Of course not! He was actually laughing about it. I wouldn't have even known if he didn't need me to move my car so he could get his out of the driveway. We were almost asleep when he woke us up to get my keys." Jasper smiled at his younger brother. "Don't worry little brother, her crying didn't anyone a bit. Besides, it's not like the twins haven't chased him out on occasion when he's had a full schedule."

"All the same, let's not mention to Bella about Dad leaving early. I don't want her upset thinking that Tansy isn't welcome here." Edward rubbed his face, trying to wake himself up.

The three awake adults nodded in silent agreement as Edward yawned, prompting Jasper to nudge Alice.

"Oh, why are we here?" Alice snapped her fingers as she felt Jasper nudge her to finish their little visit so Edward could get back to sleep. "I'm sorry to bother you Edward, I just wanted to give Bella this new outfit for Tansy. I'll leave it on the chair and let you get back to sleep."

Alice carefully arranged the little outfit on the exact chair Edward and Bella had slept in the previous night. Sighing, Jasper reached out for her.

"Come on Alice, let's let them get some sleep. Although how he sleeps with Tansy and her momma talking like that I'll never know." Jasper pulled Alice into the hallway and shut the door quietly.

Laughing, Edward crawled back into bed to finish his sleep. He couldn't decide which was more amusing to him, the nonsensical conversation being carried on right in front of him or the fact that he could still hear Alice's way to chipper voice as it faded away down the hall.

"I keep forgetting that you guys aren't use to it." Alice smiled up at Jasper as he closed Edward's bedroom door behind them. She paused her chatter briefly enough to stand on tiptoe for a quick kiss. As she let Jasper lead her downstairs to the kitchen, she kept up a steady stream of chatter, pausing only long enough to hear Jasper's responses.

As they sat at the kitchen counter waiting for the coffee to perk, Alice started asking Jasper questions about his childhood. Feeling a little lost, she specifically zeroed in on what it was like to have 2 younger siblings. Jasper laughed before answering.

"Honestly? I remember it was hectic. I was only 2 years old when they were born, so I don't ever remember being an only child. I do remember that we always seemed to be kept busy. All my childhood memories are tangled up in the web of the fact that there were 3 of us. It was never Jasper and his younger brothers, it was always the Cullen boys. We were so close it was almost like being triplets, we may as well have been. I didn't mind it though, they've always been there for me when the chips were down. I mean, they're decent guys. Sure we give each other grief over the little stuff, but anytime I have ever needed them, they were there for me." Jasper shrugged as he made his way to the pot and began pouring the coffee. Handing a cup to Alice, he raised an eyebrow, knowing she would catch on to his unspoken question. She did, and began answering it after only a moment's hesitation.

"I never had any siblings. Bella has been my only family for a long time now. We've spent holidays together and everything." Alice played it off as if it didn't bother her, changing the subject with her next question. "So, what do you make of Bella and Edward?" Alice tried to be nonchalant as she drank her coffee.

"I think they're good for each other. Edward has trust issues. I am amazed that he warmed up to Bella as fast as he did. Usually it takes him much longer to feel comfortable with someone. His last girlfriend never wanted anything to do with us as a family. She made that clear to us too. It drove our parents crazy, she was all sweet and sugary when we were all together but then behind our backs she would tell Edward that Emmett's presence made her uncomfortable or that my parents looked down on her and were snobs. Crazy crap like that. She used Edward for his money and what she could get out of him. Even after they broke up, he stayed distant from us all for awhile. It's nice to have him back, even with the less than ideal circumstance." Jasper shook his head.

"You mean Tansy?" Alice's radar went up instantly and she cocked her head to one side, preparing for a battle. Exactly what was Jasper implying?

"I mean, given Bella's _situation_ with Tansy. It's less than ideal to start a relationship under that stressful of a situation. I mean, are they attracted to each other for real or for the safety of the other person? Don't get me wrong Alice. I love Bella like a sister already and Tansy just as much as Emily and Ethan. I'd like to personally believe that they are together because they truly fell in love and not because Bella needs a crutch and Edward has a strange need to look after someone."

Alice nodded as she realized what he was saying was true. Noticing the now empty coffee cup she held, she put it down in front of her and shook her head when Jasper asked if she wanted another cup.

"I'd better not, I'm jittery enough as it is." Alice replied, swinging her legs back and forth as she swung on the kitchen stool.

"Sweetheart? You're jittery whether you've had coffee or not." Jasper walked over to Alice and stopped her legs from swinging as he easily picked her up and placed her on the counter, effectively bring her sitting level up to his height, although he still had to bend down slightly. Moving the stool aside, he planted himself firmly between Alice's legs. "I promise you this Alice, I will be there to help the three of them with this and please believe me when I say that I am hoping this will work out right for all of them."

Seeing the truth in his eyes more than his words, Alice placed her forehead against Jasper's chest and shook her head sadly from side to side.

"I love you Jasper." Alice said, and let her shoulder's slump down as she fell limp against his chest.

"Why do I get the feeling that isn't a good thing from where you stand, or sit?" Jasper moved his hand to tilt up her chin, seeing the hurt in her eyes. "What's wrong baby?"

"It's just that I have no reference for love like you do. I mean, look at your parents. Total devotion. My parents? I have no idea. Did they even love each other? I see Emmett and Rose, and ask myself why Jake couldn't be more like that for Bella. Let's face it, from my point of view the only relationships that truly work out are the ones found in the romance book that Bella tries to pretend she doesn't read." Alice kept her gaze locked on Jasper's eyes. "I just never thought I would feel like this. I mean, is this how I am supposed to feel?"

"How is that Alice?" Jasper's eyes never faltered, his gaze every bit as intense as Alice's.

"Consumed." Alice answered easily, and then continued when she realized that she could. "Overwhelmed." She held up her hand to softly touch Jasper's cheek.

"I love you too Alice." Jasper smiled as he turned his head and kissed her palm, giving it a playful little lick as their bubble was intruded on.

"Ugh, why don't you two go back to bed and do that?" Emmett arrived in the kitchen carrying Ethan and went right for the coffeepot. "Did anyone else not sleep last night? Man, that chick's got a set of lungs on her! You better get used to it son, because it doesn't get any easier." Emmett said as he easily brought Ethan up higher into his arm.

"Who do you mean by chick? Rose, Emily, or Tansy? I know you don't mean Bella because she doesn't talk unless she's asleep. That was too funny, the two of them were on the bed and I swear Tansy and Bella were talking to each other in their sleep." Jasper reached out to take Ethan so Emmett could make a cup of coffee.

"Thanks bro. Yeah, it was definitely Tansy. Rose went in and offered to help, but she kept on and on. No wonder they're still asleep." Emmett yawned as Esme came into the kitchen and went right for the coffeepot, still in her pajamas.

"Thank you to whoever made the coffee." Esme quickly reached out for the cup Emmett handed her.

"No problem Esme. Jasper and I are apparently the early risers of the group." Alice smiled as she and Jasper continued to play with his nephew.

"Hmmm." Esme said no more words as she sat easily at the counter next to them. "You know Alice, I hope Bella realizes that the room doesn't need to be finished today. We aren't chasing her away. I speak for everyone in my family when I say that you three are more than welcome to stay longer if necessary." Esme reached over to pat Alice's knee affectionately and Alice simply beamed.

"Thanks so much Esme! I know Bella is anxious to finish, but only because she wants to see it done and not because she wants to leave or anything like that. Seriously, this weekend has been like a vacation for us and you have no idea how much everyone's help has been appreciated." Alice scooted herself off the counter to give Esme a quick hug before settling back on the stool next to her.

"Are all Edward's bedroom occupants still asleep?" Esme asked as she righted herself from Alice's embrace.

"Yeah. Edward was crawling back into the bed as we shut the door so I don't think we will hear from them anytime soon." Alice swung her head as she heard a soft whimper through the doorway.

"Guess again Alice." Edward sleepily strolled through the door carrying Tansy in one arm and the outfit and a diaper in another.


	14. Chapter 14 What A Weekend

Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight.

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Chapter 14 What A Weekend

"She started to fuss and Bella was sound asleep. I figured I would let her sleep in a bit longer." Edward walked fully into the kitchen and handed the baby and clothes over to Alice who was waiting with outstretched arms.

"Give her here Edward. I'm surprised Bella is still asleep. She's usually a very light sleeper. I wonder why she's so tired this morning?" Alice asked innocently but threw a glance at Edward that let everyone know her thoughts were not as innocent.

"Easy there, Killer. With a baby in between us on the bed, there was no way of anything even remotely sexual going on." Edward said, reaching for the coffee Emmett handed him.

"Bro, we need to talk. Baby in bed or not, there's tons you can do when they're still small and don't know what is going on…" Emmett's words stopped as he saw his own mother's glare and he just smiled as he mouth 'we'll talk later' to his twin.

"Thanks Em, but if it's all the same to you, Bella and I will navigate this relationship all on our own. Besides, the last thing she needs to worry about is some dickhead of a boyfriend putting himself above the needs of her daughter. When Bella is ready I trust that she will open herself up to me more. Until then, we have all we can deal with right there." Edward nodded in Tansy's direction.

"I love the way you just said that 'we' word Edward. Bella needs to know that she isn't alone. She sometimes forgets that others are willing to help. She gets so hung up on the fact that Tansy's daddy isn't around and that her stupid grandmother didn't want her…" Alice stopped patting Tansy's back and clamped her mouth shut, realizing that she was saying too much and wondering if she had offended Esme.

"It's alright Alice." Esme comforted her as Alice's eyes filled with tears and dripped onto Tansy's head. "Bella told me about that incident with her mother. I'd really like to meet that woman."

"In a darkened alley with a baseball bat!" Rose's harsh words, coming on the heels of Esme's shocked them all into turning toward the doorway. Emmett moved to greet his wife and daughter.

"It's okay Rosie." Emmett reached for his daughter and enveloped them both into his huge arms.

"No, it's not Emmett. It's one thing to come off as apathetic and then forget people exist. To be as uncaring as that? Telling someone they're not wanted? Who does that?" Rose's gaze flicked from person to person, clearly expecting an answer.

Alice's whisper broke the silence as everyone's eyes fell on her to explain.

"Bella's mom Renee. She told Bella that it would be better if instead of coding her and saving her life that she should just let her go." Alice's voice fell to a whisper, as if the baby in her arms might sense she was talking about her.

"That's sick. Did no one clue her in to the fact that this is her granddaughter? Her flesh and blood?" Rose left Emmett's embrace and crossed to Alice to touch Tansy's soft curls.

"Oh, you don't know Renee. She is as self-centered as they come. Bella pretty much raised herself once Renee took her away from her father. She didn't think much of becoming a grandparent. Sadly, I don't think it would make a difference if Tansy was healthy either." Alice explained, smiling at Rose as she played with the happy baby on her lap. "She has no use for Bella, especially because Bella no longer puts her first. It's strange that a grown woman, and a grandmother at that, can be jealous of this little love-bug. Times like this make me almost grateful that I don't have to deal with family drama. No family, no drama. It's as simple as that."

"While we are almost all here, can anyone give me a ride this morning? I know Bella wanted to see where I work this morning, but I would rather show her another day and not when I have to drag her around dangerous equipment like nail guns and electric saws. I'd like to let her sleep as long as possible. Any takers for driving me to pick up my work truck and drive the car back for Bella to use?" Edward looked between his two brothers.

"Is that necessary Ed? I mean, there's precious little that Rose can't fix on a car. She should have Bella's in shape by tomorrow." Jasper looked at his sister-in-law with pride.

Smirking, Rose looked over at Edward as she answered. "Oh no Jasper, I think Bella's old car is going to need a lot of work. I mean, it could be any number of things. I am going to need a few days to fix it at least. And what with the commuting between houses and needing to get parts and Bella needing reliable and _safe_ transportation to drive Tansy to her appointments? No, I think Edward's right. She should use his car if it's available." Rose looked over the room to make sure everyone understood what was going on.

They did. Alice tinkled with laughter, the vibrations from her body causing Tansy to gurgle with happiness as well.

"Take note of this little one. These Cullen's are a sneaky bunch. And they are just what your mama needs to show her she is not alone any more sweetheart." Alice handed the baby over to Rose before she made her way over to Jasper, tears shining unfallen in her eyes.

Talk went on for a bit longer before everyone decided what their plan of action was. Shortly after the group broke up, Jasper left with Edward and Alice made her way up the stairs with Tansy in her arms. Knowing that Edward was no longer in his bedroom, Alice walked right in and took note of the sleepy Bella, still wrapped safe and warm in a cocoon of blankets. The mumbles emanating from underneath causing Alice to pull Tansy even closer against her chest.

"That's where you get it from little girl. You are your mama's girl through and through." She placed a kiss on the baby's forehead before laying her gently next to Bella.

"Bella are you awake yet?" Alice shook her friend gently, knowing that would be all it took.

"Alice? Where's Tansy?" Bella bolted upright suddenly.

"She's right here. She's already been downstairs with me and everyone else. We all wanted to let you sleep in a little longer." Alice crawled onto the bed, not wanting to disturb either mother or baby.

"Where's Edward? Why did you guys let me sleep so late?" Bella's words were laced with a raspy morning voice and topped punctuated with an ending yawn as she rubbed sleepiness out of her eyes.

"Most likely he is on his way to pick up his truck from work and check in on a few sites. He said they had an errand to run before coming back. You were sleeping so soundly that he didn't want to wake you up so he brought Tan downstairs and let you sleep in a little longer." Alice folded her legs as she watched her friend rub the sleep from her eyes and yawn.

"Well, do you happen to know if he gave her any of her medications yet this morning?" Bella reached for her daughter and snuggled her against her chest.

"No, he just sat her in a chair with a waffle and told her to have a go at it. Of course he made sure Bella. We all did. We even managed to dress her for you too." Alice made the last words sound like she was overly proud of her achievement.

"Alright. Alright. I worry. So sue me." Bella stretched out her legs and placed her daughter across her lap. "I'm just going to get a cup of coffee and then I'll join you in the room, okay?" Bella's face cleared with a smile.

"No, _**I**_ worry. _**You**_ obsess. Listen, Rose and Emmett went to take a quick look at your car so Esme is watching all the kids downstairs. She said to bring Tansy down when you are ready to start working on the room again. They won't be gone long, they just wanted a quick look to see if it was an easy fix or not so they should be back by lunch time." Alice stood and began making the side of the bed that Bella didn't occupy.

"She's going to have her hands full. Maybe we should wait until they get back." Bella watched as Alice worked, amused that she just could not sit still, even if it meant cleaning something.

"Nope. Esme's strict orders. She said she wants practice for when she is 'surrounded by all her grandchildren' in the future. You are to bring this little one down there and then start on the room with me. Speaking of which, I am now headed there myself. I'll meet you there when you are ready, okay?" Alice smoothed the sheets and blankets on the one side of the bed and stood back to survey her work critically, waiting.

"Oh alright already. You win. Here." Bella huffed as she stood with her daughter. "Happy now? Go ahead and make the whole bed." Bella smiled as she took in Alice, making the rest of the bed happily. "Don't think I didn't know that was your plan to get me out of bed all along."

"I know. I have a lot of energy. The funny thing is, Jasper said those same words to me this morning right before I…" Alice stopped speaking and looked up from making the bed as she noticed that Bella, obviously not wanting to hear the details of what she and Jasper did in his room, left the room and closed the door behind her. "…made his bed." Alice finished with a shrug before turning off the light and leaving the room.

Later that day, Bella was sitting cross legged on the floor in front of a section of wall where she had painted a zoo. She had Carlisle's picture propped up against a can of paint and she was delicately copying the family crest freehand before she painted it permanently on the wall. She had placed the family crest lion in a grotto across the path from the phoenix of Edward's company logo. Bella smiled as she thought of the zoo animals she included. Only in a child's world would you find fairytale unicorns mixed in with horses, dragons sharing space with penguins, and yes, a phoenix in a tree across from a lion.

These minute details aside, it looked like any picture from a book you might see. Most adults would probably stare for a moment and then look away, not entirely seeing the small details such as animals. They would consider it a zoo, and move along. Only a child's sharp eye would catch sight of such flights of fancy and begin to dream of the world where such creatures co-exist.

It was in these details that Bella's work differed from so many other artists. As she leaned back and stretched out her muscles, she glanced at her cellular phone to see that it was just past lunchtime. Shaking her head, she chastised herself for once again becoming so lost in her work that she skipped lunchtime and worse, missed checking up on Tansy. Taking off her smock, she placed it on the doorknob on her way out of the room.

She walked through the living room on her way to the kitchen, wondering where everyone was until she heard voices out on the patio. She walked through and saw everyone with the exception of Carlisle just hanging out. She briefly felt guilty before she realized that she was upstairs working to finish the room.

In a way, she was reluctant to finish it, knowing that it meant the end of her commitment. Regardless, she knew she would be leaving the Cullen's tonight. It was a bittersweet moment for her as she realized just how much fun she had this weekend. She poked her head out and asked if anyone else was hungry, not noticing that Alice and Jasper quickly moved wrapping paper and a box behind their backs.

"I was just wondering if anyone else was hungry? I could make some lunch?" Bella reached for Tansy who was sticking her arms out to her.

"I'm sorry Bella, we just ordered sandwiches. There's a roasted vegetable sandwich in the fridge for you. We didn't want to bother you because you were concentrating so hard. Bella, if you need more time with the room, it doesn't have to be finished today does it?" Esme looked over her grandson's head at Bella as she waited for an answer.

Thinking briefly of her bank account balance, Bella nodded regrettably.

"No Esme, but it does need to be finished. I've had a great time this weekend, but I do need to remember why I am here. I am nearly done. I actually was done until I thought of another picture I wanted to add recently. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised." Bella handed Tansy back to Edward, who was reaching out his arms to take her. She went into his arms willingly as he stood, giving Bella a quick kiss.

"Come on, we'll keep you company during lunch." Edward led the way back through the door to the kitchen.

Bella followed inside and took her sandwich from the fridge. She put it on a plate that Edward was handing her and requested a simple glass of ice water when Edward asked her what she would like to drink. Joining her at the table, Edward sat the baby up on the table, holding her firmly so she wouldn't topple over.

"I think of everything I am going to miss it's going to be these simple little meals and sharing time with you during them. It really doesn't have to be a fancy dinner to be considered a date does it?" Edward smiled at Bella as she chewed.

"It really doesn't. I don't know what kind of relationship you had with Tanya, but some of the best dates of my life involved nothing more than a picnic basket and a blanket. I know what you mean though. I'm going to miss you too." Bella swallowed, the bite of sandwich lodging like a rock in her throat.

"Are you sure you need to finish it today?" Edward said, never breaking eye contact with Bella's mouth as it took a bite and chewed.

Smiling, Bella felt herself warm before she replied. "I really do. Not just so I can look for the next job, but also, I need the money Edward. I still have responsibilities and they won't go away themselves. And don't you even think about telling me that you can loan me the money."

"Well, can I just give it to you instead?" Edward said, knowing the answer already but trying to lighten the moment as the ache in his chest grew.

"Nice try. I know it sucks, but it's not like I'm moving out of state or anything. I'll still be around." This time, Bella smiled as she tried to quell the sadness that was forming inside her. "We still have tonight, and tomorrow it's back to the grind. Besides, you could probably use a good night's sleep."

Bella reached over and touched the space under Edward's eyes where a slight shadow marred his handsome face. Edward, feeling playful took the moment to jerk his head upward and stick out his tongue, licking her unsuspecting palm.

"Niiice. What are we? Five?" Bella feigned irritation as she wiped her hand off against her jeans and they laughed together. "Sorry I couldn't go with you this morning. I still would like to see your work someday. I'm going to hold you to that promise."

"Absolutely. We just didn't want to wake you this morning. Plus, Jasper and I had a pit stop of sorts to make. You'll see what I mean later this evening." Edward smiled suspiciously, making Bella narrow her eyes in his direction.

"I should get back to work. The sooner I finish, the sooner I can enjoy the rest of the day with everyone else." Bella stood, placing her plate and glass in the sink before moving to stand behind Edward's chair. "Are you sure you have her? You don't have to watch her you know, if you have to work or something you can leave her with Alice."

Edward's head fell forward as Bella's hands made contact with his shoulders. He didn't even try to hold back his groan as he felt his muscles go slack. He quickly tightened his hold on the baby in front of him as he let Bella work the muscles he didn't even know were sore.

"No, Ben is taking care of everything at the one problem site I have. The other 2 sites pretty much run themselves. There's just one group that keeps trying to push the envelope." Edward winced as Bella dug in to work a particularly hard patch of muscle. "God Bella, where did you learn to do this?"

Laughing, Bella leaned down and kissed the top of Edward's head before she answered him. "Who knew that infant massage techniques work on big babies too?"

"Niiice. Now who's acting like they're five?" Edward moved Tansy into one arm and turned to reach for Bella, drawing her down onto his opposite leg.

Leaning in, Bella enjoyed the quiet moment as she rested her head against Edward's chest and moved to take her daughter from his arm. She snuggled Tansy against her as she felt Edward's arms embrace her fully.

"Hey, did Emmett and Rose figure out what is wrong with my car this morning? I can't believe I forgot to ask them." Bella shifted only slightly.

"If they know, they didn't tell me. You can ask them later baby. Let's just let it go for now. You can use my car as long as you need." Edward squeezed tighter, not wanting to let her go yet for fear that she would leave and go out back to talk to Emmett and Rose. He wasn't ready to share her attention yet, knowing that there was a limited window of opportunity available.

"Well, I guess it's not a big deal yet as long as you don't mind me using your car. I should really get back to work though. Are you sure you can manage her?" Bella laughed as she handed Tansy back to Edward.

The little girl smiled and gurgled, having grown accustomed to the two adults handing her back and forth so easily.

"I think we will manage on our own for a while. Go finish up. I'll ask Emmett and Rose about your car. Just come to the back patio when you're done." Edward smiled as he stood up, holding the baby out for Bella to give her a kiss before she headed back upstairs.

Once out on the patio, Edward looked over to his older brother and Alice.

"Did you think she noticed?" Edward sat back in the chair he vacated before Bella came out and crossed one leg over the other.

"Are you kidding? She came out and made a beeline for you and Tansy. I doubt she even noticed any of the rest of us out here at all Edward." Alice snipped the scissors in his direction when he smirked back at her playfully.

"Well thanks for wrapping it. If it were up to me, it would be presented to her in the bag from the store." Edward looked over at the professional wrapping job on the box in front of Alice.

"Relax, I am a professional." Alice laughed, nudging the box with her foot gently. "Seriously, this was a great idea. I know she talked about getting one awhile back but she never did once she found out how expensive video cameras were. She usually does small clips on her phone and downloads them into her computer. This way she can take all the footage she wants."

"Thanks Alice, but I have an ulterior motive too. I intend to use that camera too. Bella should have lots of videos of her and Tansy together. Which means that she won't be behind the camera, she will be in front while I record it for her. That goes for all of you too. It's easy to use so if you are with her, make sure she puts it to good use."

"It's a great Mother's Day present Edward. You are a genius for thinking of it." Esme smiled with pride at her middle child while Jasper and Emmett snickered and snorted while good naturedly calling Edward names like 'momma's boy' and 'suck up'.

Meanwhile, Bella returned to her work. Walking over to Alice's little radio, she turned it on and tuned it to a random station, wanting it more for background noise than for actual music. She took her brush and a small container of paint and scrutinized the wall, almost dancing while she painted.

'This shouldn't be work.' Bella thought with a smile.

The rush she was getting from being almost finished was palpable to her in the room. She turned around and realized that she was done when she got the feeling that she was a little kind in a fantasy world. The room swam around her, much the same way Tansy's room at home did. It was all tricks of the eye and paint, but it was easy enough to fool anyone who entered.

Bella stopped suddenly when she came across an empty looking tree in the park scene. Stepping back and cocking her head, she scrutinized it before reaching stepping closer and smiling. Crossing the room to her paints, she changed out the brush and grabbed a bright red paint before settling in front of the tree.

The finishing touch. Bella smiled as she painted dozens of shiny red apples in the once empty tree. She moved back to her paints to grab several greens and the black and began to carefully add leaves and outline the apples, making them look more real. With a final step, she took her white paint and dabbed a swipe on each apple, making each one appear to shine on the tree.

Moving one last time to her paints, she put everything away except a fine bristle brush and some brown paint. Smiling, she crossed over to the tree and carefully printed the names in the apples, giving everyone their own, but keeping the couples next to each other.

Carlisle and Esme. Jasper. Edward. Emmett and Rosalie. In two more apples near Emmett and Rose's, she printed the names Ethan and Emily. She made sure to leave plenty of room on Jasper and Edward's apples for their future spouses, not wanting to think if things worked out for them all or not. That was it. She was done now.

As she started to hum under her breath, she packed away the last of her paints and supplies. She began gathering up everything and clearing the paints to a box outside in the hall to carry later. She took all her used brushes in hand with some paint thinner and made her way downstairs.

Bella placed the brushes in an unused side of the kitchen sink and added warm, soapy water. She decided to just rinse them out her and wash them with the smelly paint thinner at her home later on. No point in stinking up a client's house with chemicals, even if said client was her boyfriend's parent. Smiling at the thought, Bella didn't hear Esme enter the kitchen and cross over to her until she felt the motherly embrace around her shoulders which caused her to lean her head back.

"What was that for Esme?" Bella laughed lightly, not feeling uncomfortable in the least.

"I just want to say thank you, for more than just painting that room Bella. There's just no way I could have predicted for things to turn out as neatly as they have." Esme smiled warmly. "I may be getting ahead of myself, but I just don't think words are enough to say thank you."

"Well, your welcome." Bella's mouth turned up into a huge smile at the sincerity of Esme's words. "I think that will do it though Esme. I really can't think of anything else I'd want to add. But if you do, you have to tell me. I shouldn't have stayed so long this weekend, but I really needed to finish this up. Money aside, I would have wanted it done much sooner. You've just got such a great family that I couldn't help adding more and more to it and drawing it out longer." Bella stopped herself as soon as she saw Esme's face fall.

"Oh Bella! I am so sorry! I should have thought of the money. Why on Earth didn't you say anything to me? I would have paid you in installments or up front. I trust you." Esme's cheeks turned redder than Bella's.

"Oh honestly Esme, I feel bad taking any money from you at all. You were a great co-worker who turned into an even better friend. You were there for me when everything went south. You just have to know that if not for Tansy's situation, I wouldn't take anything at all. I can't wait for you to see it." Bella reached into the sink and made a show of changing the topic.

"Bella, I am going to get you a check right now, and then we are going to look at my grandchildren's room! Would you mind getting the others from the patio? I'll meet you all up there in 10 minutes." Esme hurried out of the room.

Removing her smock, Bella wrapped the wet brushes in it and placed them on the counter before she walked out to the patio and sat down heavily next to Edward. She scooped up Tansy from his arms where he held her and Emily both.

"Edward, you are going to spoil this girl. All you do is hold her." Bella admonished him playfully as she smiled at her daughter.

"I don't mind, she seems content when she's held. It's relaxing to me too." Edward sighed and reached his free arm around Bella's shoulder. "Do you have much more to paint?"

"Actually I'm finished. I was sent out here to get all of you. I wish Carlisle was here, but you guys can give him a tour of the room this evening." Bella tried to keep her voice even, knowing that she wouldn't be there later that evening to see Carlisle's reaction.

"Great, let's go. I've been dying to see it!" Rose was already on her feet and reaching for Emily to take her from Edward's hands.

"I'll carry her Rose." Edward's declaration shocked everyone as he stood and stepped toward the door, his words causing Rose to stop in her tracks.

"Thank you Edward." Rose even managed a genuine smile as she took in Edward's willingness to help her out. This was her husband's twin after all and even though he was less than helpful when the twins were first born, it meant a lot to her and Emmett both that he was there for them now.

They all walked up to the room together in a single file line. Bella got there first with Tansy in her arms. She quickly shut the door and waited for Esme to join them.

"Not until your mother comes." Bella waited for the groans and complaining to stop. "After all, this is her house."

Bella put Tansy up on her shoulder and bounced softly with her as they waited.

"Ok, Bella, I'm ready." Esme came around the corner carrying an envelope and closing her cellular phone as she met up with the group. "The good news is Carlisle is on his way home as we speak. He should be here shortly."

Bella nodded and prayed that Carlisle would make it there before she left for home. Reaching for the knob, she turned it and let everyone in. The overhead fan was blowing softly and the smells of new paint and turpentine still permeated the air even with the window open but it wasn't strong enough to make them want to leave and not see the room.

"Wow. Oh wow! Bella this is too much!" Esme's eyes were filled with tears and all it took was one look at the family tree for them to spill over.

"Bella, this is fantastic. Those apples look so real I swear I could pick one to eat it." Rose laughed as she took in the rest of the room.

"Well, the painting end is done. The rest will be all Alice. She's going to handle the furniture and fabrics. My work here is done." Bella's own eyes filled with tears as she realized that she wasn't sure if she would ever see the room finished entirely. She was leaving tonight with Tansy and all her supplies. Bella walked over to Esme and asked her if it was ok and was there anything that needed changing?

"Not a thing Bella, everything's perfect." She reached over and took Tansy from Bella's arms.

Edward handed Emily than over to Jasper before he drew Bella into his arms.

"I love it baby. My phoenix came out perfect. I love the crest too – was that what you were talking to Carlisle about?" Edward kissed her softly on her lips as she nodded. Smiling, he drew her toward the wall that had the zoo animals painted on it. They crouched down together and looked it over. They were so lost in their own conversation that Bella missed Carlisle entering the room.

"Wow! Bella, you really outdid yourself with this." Carlisle's voice echoed slightly as he stepped into the unfurnished room.

Bella immediately straightened up and blushed as everyone was complementing her work. Clearly this home meant a lot to Esme's family and Bella felt honored that she was allowed to work on it.

"I'm glad everyone likes it so much. It was so much fun to work on it and I appreciate all your help with the baby too." Bella made eye contact with Carlisle and then looked quickly toward the wall with the crest. Carlisle nodded at her and then casually made his way to the zoo wall.

Carlisle walked over to the zoo and carefully looked down at the few animals in cages. He then noticed that some of the animals were painted more in a grotto than behind bars. Edward's phoenix sat perched proudly in a tree that was planted in a grotto that held a few lions. 4 lions to be exact, and one of them was obviously the king. This lion had the exact pawing stance that the crest had. The other 3 lions all around him. The King of the Jungle. There were also 2 smaller cubs and 2 female lionesses. Carlisle's family. He recognized it immediately and made 3 quick steps over to Bella, knowing that his son wouldn't relinquish her for very long.

"It's perfect Bella." Carlisle's words were spoken only a second before she felt his fatherly kiss land on the top of her head and his arms wrap around her.

Bella had no words as she returned Carlisle's embrace. She kissed his cheek and said softly, "I'm happy you all like it so much. Now we are even for you giving me Mr. Jenks number." Her unshed tears told Carlisle that she was being sincere.

"Speaking of the devil, expect a call from him some time tomorrow. He called me today to let me know he got the ball rolling." Carlisle smiled down at Bella as she gazed at him in wonder.

"Carlisle, no! You've all done so much for me already." The rest of Bella's statement remained stuck in her throat as she felt him squeeze her tighter.

"It's no less than I would have done for anyone in my family. We take care of each other and I would expect you to do no less if the situation were reversed and we were the ones needing help. Besides, you've given us more than you realize dear girl." Carlisle nodded toward Esme who was holding Tansy against her shoulder while Edward played peek-a-boo with her behind Esme's back.


	15. Chapter 15 Back To The Grind

Thank you for your patience everyone.

All mistakes in this chapter are mine.

Thanks so much for the reviews and emails - they really do keep me going.

Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight.

* * *

Chapter 15 Back To The Grind

Bella closed the screen door softly behind her as she stepped out onto her little porch. She turned, only to be greeted by Edward's face, smiling at her as he patted the space next to him on the swing. She walked the short length of the porch before placing the baby monitor on the small table next to the swing.

"Well, that's everything then. Thanks for helping me carry it all in Edward. And for sticking by me this past weekend. I don't think I would have gotten through it without your family there." Bella paused, waiting for Edward to stop swinging before she sat next to him.

"Well, don't forget, without my family, you wouldn't have been put in those situations in the first place. I'm so sorry Bella." Edward easily drew her body against his shoulder as continued to swing them. "She didn't put up a fuss going to sleep huh? She must really know her own surroundings."

"Don't change the subject. Listen, your family made a huge difference. You especially. You helped tremendously with her! Seriously." Bella nudged him as she heard his snort of sarcasm. "I felt so much more relaxed, although it probably didn't show much. It was nice to just have that other person there, for backup. I know I have Alice, but I always double check with her, just to be sure that she's ok with it. I never take her for granted because if she weren't there I probably would have broken down a long time ago. This is not for the faint-hearted. But this past weekend, I felt like if Alice wasn't there, then you were, or Esme, or Carlisle. Heck, even your brothers and Rose. I felt like any one of you would have stepped right in to help, and did. I haven't had that kind of support in, well, in forever Edward."

"Do you want it forever?" Edward's voice hitched as he calmed his own heartbeat. Here was his opportunity. "Listen Bella, hear me out. I know there are all sorts of reasons why you would say no right now. But say, five years from now, even one year from now. Do you think you want to be in my family's life, more specifically in my life…forever?"

Tears fell from Bella's face. She glanced out at the night, wondering why she couldn't concentrate. Edward had only ever touched on the subject of sticking around and being there for her and Tansy. But forever? It wasn't a word Bella could even comprehend.

"I'm scared Edward." Bella whispered her biggest fear, her body feeling so cold, she thought she was dropped in an ice cold pool in the middle of a Chicago winter.

"Aw honey. Of what?" Edward pulled her closer, protecting her from the shiver that crept through her body and not entirely sure if it was the cool night air that prompted that shiver. "Talk to me Bella."

"You love Tansy?" Bella's question was said as more of a statement and she felt, rather than heard Edward's affirmative response. "Five years from now, even one year from now. What if it's just me, and I am coming to you…alone?"

The words being said, without ever having a voice to say them, ripped a hole in Edward's own heart as he thought of the little girl mumbling through the baby monitor. With a quick turn of his body, he drew Bella into his lap and held her like a child as she softly cried.

"Bella, alone or not…I'll open my arms for you. Listen to me. You are my life now. I want _you_ in my life, first and forever." Swaying back and forth slowly, Edward pulled Bella's face to meet his gaze, his heart aching at the trails of tears falling down her face. He smiled as he indicated the monitor, red light flashing in the dark and a soft mumbling coming through the speaker. "Now, if you come to me…with a little bit of baggage, you know what I would do then?"

Bella hiccupped and drew her sleeve across her face in an innocently childlike gesture before she answered with a nonverbal shrug.

"I'd open my arms even wider." Edward pulled Bella closer and she moved to straddle his lap, her own denim covered legs on either side of his as they embraced.

Edward held Bella as he felt her arms slip around him. He knew in his own heart that what he was saying was honest and true. Whether or not Tansy was with her in a year, he wanted Bella. Badly. He wanted to hold her and wrap her in a cocoon and never let anything bad near her ever again.

Instead, he settled for wrapping her in his arms as he felt her body go slack against his chest. He registered Bella's soft breaths against his neck and struggled to maintain control over his body. Now was definitely not the time for anything to come between them but he became all too aware of how close Bella sat on his lap…and how tightly she held him even as her body went limp…and how warm her breath was against his neck…how tight his jeans were becoming…

Edward's mind froze as he realized that the warm breath stopped. He could tell by the way Bella's body was pressed against him that she was holding a breath in her, and by how hard her chest was pressed against his, he could tell it was a deep breath. He relaxed when he felt her finally begin to exhale and then tensed when he heard the words he had wanted to hear for weeks.

"I love you Edward." Bella's head fell limply against Edward's shoulder as she felt the last of her cries leave her tired body. Nope, she thought to herself, definitely not for the faint of heart, she thought wryly as she continued to let him just hold her and swing.

"Did you say something?" Edward paused the swing with his long legs and pulled slightly away from Bella as he looked at her questioningly.

"Did I?" Bella answered Edward's question with a question as she scrunched up her face in concentration. Did she say the words out loud? Surprise registered on her face as Edward rushed to explain.

"You said you love me Bella. I heard you. It was whispered, but I know what I heard." Smiling, Edward leaned in and kissed her lips.

Realizing that she must have indeed said them out loud, Bella's brain sent a message to her heart and she realized a moment later that she had said them and even more importantly, she meant them. All three syllables. She smiled against Edward's kiss and moved closer to him as he held her tightly.

The gentle sway of the swing caused each of them to push forward against the other. What started out as an innocent way of holding each other tightly, quickly escalated into a tight embrace with each of them crushing against each other. Keeping up with the motion, the gentle sway was replaced with quick, jerking movements as the wooden swing began to creak with their every move.

"Edward, I'm not sure I can do this." Bella could feel herself getting more aroused with every swing as she kissed Edward deeply.

"Please, just relax and enjoy this moment. I won't ask for anything more from you but you're so beautiful Bella. You don't have to do anything, just simply swing with me." Edward panted the words against Bella's lips and neck. She groaned with pleasure. It had been so long that she knew if she let it continue it would be nothing more than a quickie done in the heat of the moment. Definitely not what she felt their love deserved.

"Edward, please, we have to stop. I can't. Not yet." Bella hated saying the words as she spoke them. Damning Jacob for eternity, she moved to leave Edward's lap, groaning as she did. "I'm not ready for this yet Edward, I'm sorry." Bella moved to the far side of the swing.

"Yet? That implies that you might be one day. You know, I really feel like I could kill Jacob Black for putting you through this." Edward shifted, obviously trying to make himself more comfortable with his current state of arousal.

"There are other reasons too Edward. They may not be what either one of us wants to hear, but they are reasons and they are valid." Bella could feel her cheeks turning pinker, as if it were possible.

Edward turned his gaze forward and look out into the dark night. "Please, tell me what they are then so that I know." He said wrapping his arm around her shoulder and drawing her close to his side.

"I feel all kinds of stupid right now Edward. You are so incredibly sexy and I wish to hell I had no conscience. But, right now, the only thing I can possibly offer you is a lot of emotional baggage. I can't sleep with you, until I am legally divorced from Jacob. Not that I can't because of him, but it's not fair to you and me. We shouldn't have to 'settle' for our relationship. I won't have you be the 'other man' and me become the one who cheated. I know it's only on paper now, but the titles are still there. I think more of you and our relationship than for it to become labeled as an affair." Bella waited for his response.

"Ok, that's a valid reason. I'd argue the point that he has already left and that he probably hasn't been faithful to you these past few months, but I really don't know him. Anyway, that should be coming up soon now that you know Mr. Jenks will be calling you. And I can wait. But you said there were reason_**s**_. Which implies more than one." Edward prompted her by giving her a squeeze.

"Ok, now I feel stupid _and_ embarrassed. I'm not exactly safe right now Edward. You know I'm not a virgin." Bella was met with Edward's look of 'duh, obviously' as he glanced toward the monitor. "How do I say this? I mean, I've had my checkup after Tansy was born and I'm ok, but it's just that, I knew by then that Jacob was gone already. And the furthest thing from my mind was ever being intimate with another man. Then I go ahead and meet you. I just never had my prescription filled and..." Edward cut Bella's rant off.

"Bella? Are you trying to tell me that you aren't on any birth control?" Edward asked outright and blatant, causing Bella to rush her answer in defense.

"Well, there just didn't seem to be a need. It's not covered by my insurance and with Jacob gone, I never thought about it. Besides, it just seemed like an added expense where the money would be better used elsewhere. I just never thought about meeting anyone else at that time." Bella turned to face Edward and felt her cheeks flame red. "I'm sorry, I know you have to be disappointed in me."

"That just makes sense Bella. But you should know, this whole time I've known you, you have never disappointed me. If anything, you've just proved to me that you are worth waiting for. When you are free of all this, Bella, I'll be there. You are going to be an amazing woman when you don't have anyone else pulling your strings to make you dance." Edward kissed the top of her head. "Until then, I can wait."

Bella nodded her understanding and lay her head against his shoulder as she took his hand in hers and interlocked their fingers. Edward used his legs to slow the swing back to its calm, gentle sway.

"So, I guess it's back to the grind for you tomorrow then huh?" After enduring the silence for all of ten minutes, Bella tried to change the subject. She had enough of just the man's touch. She needed to hear his voice.

"Yeah. When I checked in with Ben after dinner, he joked about me ever going back or if you had kidnapped me." Edward's hand ran in gentle circles around Bella's back.

"Mmm, if you keep rubbing my back like that, I _will_ kidnap you. How's Angela doing?" Bella moaned softly as she relaxed and felt the tension drain away while Edward continued rubbing.

"She's fine. Ben said she's doing really good except for being tired from keeping up with Benji while trying to relax. I'll let him know you asked about her." Edward whispered his answer as he lightly kissed the top of Bella's head.

They swung for a little longer before Edward stretched and stood to leave. "I hate to say it, but I've got a lot to do at work tomorrow and then I have a meeting at the union hall in the evening. Do you have those fliers from Seth?"

"Oh, yeah, he left them on the dining room table while we were gone this past weekend. I'll go get them. Would you mind taking a few to Esme and Carlisle? It would save me a trip to the city." Bella opened the door to go inside and get the fliers. "How many do you think you'll need?" Bella asked as they went into the dining room.

"Well, how many do _you_ need?" Edward asked her as he looked over it. "Hey, I never noticed that he has a whole night planned for entertainment and all. He seems to have thought of everything."

"Yeah, he's coming through in spades. I'm not sure where I'm even going to put them up. I am currently unemployed and aside from doctor appointments, I really don't go anywhere. I guess I'll just hang them on light poles. Where else am I going to go?" Bella shrugged her shoulders. "I wonder if anyone realizes how incredibly embarrassing this is for me."

"I have an idea, you take one." Edward held the stack out to Bella. She took one. "I'll take care of these." He placed the stack under his arm and took Bella in the other.

"Edward, I can't let you do all the work. Give me more of those back. I hate that everyone else feels like they have to take care of me." Bella sighed and reached out for the flyers.

Edward set them back on the table. "Bella, we don't _have_ to. We _want_ to. Now, I'm going to say goodnight to Tansy and then I'll be back out. Those fliers better still be there on that table when I get back Isabella. Do _not_ make me count them!" Edward's smirk betrayed his serious tone, causing Bella to laugh.

"If you wake her up, you aren't going anywhere except to the rocking chair to get her back to sleep!" Bella gave Edward a shove toward Tansy's bedroom door as she picked up the stack he set down. "I'm counting out some for your parents, that's all."

"What are your plans for tomorrow?" Edward asked, coming back into the room. He looked deep in thought and the strength in his arms as he crossed them in front of him did not escape Bella's notice.

"Emmett and Rose are coming over to try to fix my car. They said they still aren't sure what's wrong with it so they are coming over while Esme watches the twins. Your dad said that Mr. Jenks will be calling me too so I guess I'll just hang out here. Are you sure you want to take all of these Edward?" Bella waved the stack of papers out to Edward. "There's still quite a stack."

Edward took the stack of papers from Bella and lightly tossed them back onto the table causing them to scatter slightly. "I'm taking them. Period." He then reached his arms around Bella, causing her to fall into his embrace and rest her forehead against his chest as he kissed the top of her head. "Bella, will you promise me that you'll call me if you need anything this week? Even if it's just a hand to hold or an ear to talk to. Promise me you will remember that there are people there that care about you and don't forget about them."

"I could never forget them and you." Bella held Edward close and just looked up at his face, her chin now resting against his chest. The tightness of his arms around her let her know that he didn't want to leave any more than she wanted him to. "I know I am sometimes hard to deal with, but for what it's worth Edward, I feel truly lucky to have you in my life right now. Everything just seems to be headed farther and farther South. And there you are to hold me up. It just means more to me than you'll know. I'm going to miss you this week."

"I'm going to miss both of you this week. You'll call me tomorrow right? Even if it's just to say hello? Let me know how things are going?" Edward asked.

"I promise. Oh, and thank you for my Mother's Day present. I really love it. It's so easy to use." Bella nodded at the table where the video camera sat already charged and just waiting for her to use.

"You're welcome. Sorry it wasn't anything romantic but…" Edward's words were cut off by Bella's kiss.

"It's perfect for Mother's Day. It's my very first Mother's Day and my very first present and I intend to use it a lot. The fact that it came from you and your family and Alice just makes it mean that much more." Bella pointed her head up, knowing that if she didn't say good bye now, it was only going to get harder to watch him leave. "Good night Edward."

"Yeah, if I don't leave now, I'm probably not going to." Edward bent his head and kissed her one more time. "Take care of my baby ok?"

In a flash their eyes connected, catching the meaning of his words.

"What?" Bella questioned, her voice faltering.

"My baby. My car Bella. Geez, that sounded awful. I didn't mean it that way. I always call my car 'my baby'. I kinda forgot." Edward shook his head at the way the words between them became mixed up.

"It's okay Edward. I know you didn't mean anything by it." Bella looked away, hoping her voice sounded more casual than she felt. Edward caught on quickly and drew her closer into his arms.

"I have to be honest with you, with us both." Edward pulled Bella's chin up so she had no choice but to lose herself in his gaze. "There has been a few times when I have wished she was my baby, Bella."

"Really?" Bella's eyes searched Edward's looking for a hint of betrayal and found nothing but sincerity.

"More than a few times if I am being brutally honest." Edward punctuated his words with a gentle kiss on her lips.

"You have no idea how many times I've wished that. You're so good with her and every time you hold her I just look at the two of you and call myself seven different kinds of stupid for falling for Jake and his lies. I wish she was yours too Edward." Bella finished her speech with a whisper against Edward's lips.

"Someday Bella." Edward gave her one promise, one last kiss before he picked up the fliers from the table and headed for the door.

The following morning, Bella kept glancing out the window while holding her phone in her hand. She knew it was unfair to unload on Edward, but she was itching to call someone. Alice had left earlier to finish assembling the room and promised she would be back in the afternoon. She debated calling Esme but decided against it after realizing that she would be busy watching the twins while Emmett and Rose…Bella squinted trying to see what Emmett and Rose were doing under the hood of her car.

What were they doing? It certainly didn't look like they were working on her car. To Bella it looked like they were working on adding to their family. She watched through the lacy curtain as Rose bent over to look under the hood of her car, again. Emmett quickly got behind her as they 'looked' at the engine. Bella blushed before closing the curtain and sent up a quick prayer that none of her neighbors were home and watching the mid-day scene.

Sighing, she decided to take advantage of Tansy's nap and just call Mr. Jenks herself rather than wait for him to call her. Anything was better than watching the homemade porno unfold on her front lawn.

"Hi. Umm, this is Isabella Swa..I mean. Shit. No, not that my last name is Shit, I mean it's Black, no not _that_ is black, my name is Black. I mean that's my correct last name, Black." Bella smacked her forehead with her free hand before giving up and adding with a sigh, "I'm trying to reach a Mr. Jenks."

"Isabella. I was going to call you this evening after I heard back from your husband's attorney but now is as good a time as any. Carlisle filled me in on the details and faxed me some documents that you had at his house. I hope you don't mind our intruding, but we have seen this scenario too many times before. Between Carlisle's work at the hospital and my own as an attorney, we thought it best to act quickly. I hope you don't mind?" Mr. Jenks waited patiently for Bella to answer.

"No, no, I don't mind. I mean, I guess it's a good thing to get the ball rolling and I really don't have any idea how to proceed. I mean, I did look at the paperwork and everything but I really didn't understand a lot of it beyond him not wanting anything to do with us anymore." Bella's heart felt heavy in her chest and she made her way to a chair to sit down.

"Well, that's the gist of it. I can guarantee you that we will fight to get compensation of some sort for your daughter…Tansy is it?" Bella waited for the shifting of papers to stop before she answered Mr. Jenks.

"That's right. Tansy. Mr. Jenks, I know everyone thinks I should ask Jacob for money or support of some kind, but I really don't want to. I mean, if he wants to for her sake, that's fine. But I want him to do it because he _wants_ to, not because there is a piece of paper on file in a basement somewhere saying that he _has_ to. Does that make sense?" Bella concentrated on the pile of laundry waiting to be folded on the dining room table and paused only briefly before adding, "Besides, I've managed this far on my own."

"Well, we will see what we can do. That will make things happen a lot easier and quicker. Without your wanting support from him and without his demanding any visitation, I could pull a few strings and get a hearing a lot sooner. It appears from what I've read and what you are telling me that neither of you are going to fight this. This should be quick and easy then. Carlisle almost had me worried there for a bit." Bella could hear the man's soft chuckle through the phone.

"Carlisle and his family have been really great. Everyone seems to be willing to help out." Bella was unsure what else to say. Everyone was making it seem so easy.

"Well, let me see what I can do to help. You'll be hearing back from me soon…" Before Mr. Jenks could finish his goodbye, Bella gasped.

There, peeking out from under a pile of Tansy's clothes on the dining room table was a flyer from Seth. Bella's mind raced. A fund raiser. Carlisle's words rang in her head about the fights that ensue over a child's well-being and at once she felt the wind being knocked out of her. Surely Jacob wouldn't do anything to stop Seth from having the fundraiser, but he did abandon his family. Bella pulled the flyer in front of her and scanned it quickly, ignoring the voice coming through the phone.

"Bella? Hello?" Mr. Jenks voice was becoming louder the more she ignored it.

"I'm sorry Mr. Jenks, I just remembered something that might be important. Or maybe it's not, but I am not sure." Bella's voice couldn't keep up with her mind's thought process and she knew she was stuttering.

"Calm down Bella. Take a few deep breaths. There's no hurry okay? We've got all the time in the world okay? Nice deep breaths." The fatherly concern coming through the phone made it easy for Bella to understand how the man was a friend of Carlisle's.

"Okay, a friend of mine, who is actually a distant cousin of Jacob's, is holding a fundraiser for Tansy. He wants to help with some of her medical costs. I am sure there is nothing to worry about, it's being held in 2 weeks, right before Memorial Day." Bella paused to breathe again. "Mr. Jenks, I know I said I don't want anything from Jacob, but this fundraiser…I could really use the money that is coming from that. Is there any chance that Jake could do something to it?"

"That does complicate things. Until everything is settled, he could try to gain access to it. I want you to listen very carefully to my instructions Bella. Call this friend of yours and make sure you let him know that the money is to go directly into an account for Tansy. You will have to go to the bank and set up a custodial account. Think of it as a savings account for her. Only one person can be named guardian of that account until she is of age. That way, Jake can't touch the money. If this cousin of his has any problem with you doing that, then I want you to cancel the fundraiser. I know you trust this man, but the word 'trust' has a mighty big flame to burn people with. I've seen it happen to one person too many."

"I'm sure Seth won't have a problem with it. He adores Tansy and he's helped me out so much already with small repairs to the house. I'll do what you said though. I just want to make sure that even though Jake won't contribute to her care, he won't be able to take money away that is earmarked for her care." Bella bit her lip as her anger rose inside.

"That's what I want to hear! Fighting words. I want to hear some fight in your voice. Alright, let me see what I can do. Oh, and when is this fundraiser and where is it?" Mr. Jenks last minute question had Bella curious. After all, she had never met the man before and he didn't know her and Tansy except through Carlisle.

"Oh, uh, Mr. Jenks, that's okay, you really don't have to…" Bella stopped as he interrupted her.

"Okay, I'll ask Carlisle. I'll talk to you soon Bella." With those final words laughing in her ears, Bella heard a dial tone and added her laughter to Mr. Jenks. She had no doubt left in her mind that she would be seeing Carlisle's friend at the fundraiser for her daughter.

A week later, Bella walked out of the house and into the fading sunshine, shaking her head. Staring at the two cars in her driveway, she knew she had no choice but to drive Edward's car to the courthouse the next day. She didn't want to, she really would have preferred her car, but it was still not running properly according to Emmett and Rose.

She never wanted to question them, but she seriously wondered if their mechanical skills were as impressive as everyone let her believe. It had been a few days since they had even come to look at it and the last time she had questioned them, they simply told her that they were waiting for parts to come in that they had ordered.

Balancing her tea cup in one hand and the baby monitor in the other, she tried to close the door as softly as possible so she didn't disturb her sleeping daughter. The trip to the doctor's office that morning had left Tansy feeling sore from the poking and prodding and Bella feeling raw and helpless since there was nothing she could do to prevent her daughter's pain.

Placing the monitor on the small table, Bella gently sat down on the swing and folded a leg under her before reaching to grab the thick blanket that was left out from the previous night.

It had only been at Edward and Jasper's insistence that they needed time with their girls that Bella and Alice caved and invited them over for a late night fire the previous night. Neither woman was willing to admit that as the time for Tansy's surgery drew near, they both began feeling anxious. Even though it was still a few weeks away, they had religiously taken to videoing her every day. Edward had even gone so far as to use his phone and set up a face time call between Bella's house and his parents, making sure to even get Emmett and Rose in on the picture. The uncertainty of each day made everyone well aware of what was at stake and Bella couldn't begrudge her new family their time with her daughter.

As she thought back to the previous night, the four adults goofing off around the fire, no responsibility in sight as Tansy was safely tucked in her crib. Bella's heart ached for Edward. Or Alice. Or Esme…

Shaking her head, Bella mentally slapped herself. She and Alice had gone it alone so many times now, she couldn't believe how dependent they had become on others. When did she get so needy? As she stared into her cup, she realized that she had always been that way, but it was only recently that anyone had cared enough to pay attention.

Bella shook her head when she thought back to her last call with Mr. Jenks the previous day. The kind lawyer let Bella know that he had been able to call in a few favors with a few colleagues. The thought that Bella could be a single woman in just a couple of days made her head spin. Barring anything unforeseen happening of course.

Those were the words that chilled Bella's own heart. She knew that Mr. Jenks meant well, and was just trying to be kind but she had asked him to explain what those 'unforeseen' things were. It turned out that Jacob did know about the fundraiser and was informed by his lawyer of the court date.

Even with Seth's assurances to Bella that the money was going into Tansy's newly created bank account, no one, not even his own lawyer, was able to predict what Jacob might do. All Bella knew was the sooner it was all over, the better. She was tired of her reality biting her in the ass. She was single, but married. She was a Swan, but she was a Black. She was a wife, but had no husband. The labels had made her head swim until Alice calmed her down by proclaiming confidently that _the dog_ would not show up in court. It was only to Jasper and Edward that Alice confided she thought Jacob was going to strike someplace else.

Trying her best to clear her head, Bella breathed in the cool evening air and brought herself out of her fog. She desperately needed a full night of sleep and was starting to feel like she was underwater, again. She inhaled the steam from her tea cup and breathed in the spearmint scent, hoping it would relax her.

Like the answer to her prayer, she saw Jasper's car turning into the drive. It had barely stopped before Alice jumped out and sprinted up the steps to her. Bella couldn't help but smile at her friend as she plopped down next to her.

"We brought sustenance. And liquid fortification." Alice gestured toward the car where Edward and Jasper were carrying a bag of food and a case of beer.

"Thanks Alice, but I don't think I could eat anything." Bella felt her stomach tighten just thinking of food. Alice nodded her head sympathetically.

"I know. That's why we stopped and I got you these." Alice reached into the pockets of her jacket and pulled out two small cans of a protein supplement. Bella laughed as Alice placed the cans on the small table. "It's not funny Bella. You are losing weight and now is not the time for you to stop taking care of yourself."

Reaching over, Alice gently brushed strands of Bella's limp hair from her face. She took the tea cup from her and placed it on the table.

"Yes Mother." Bella laughed as she watched Jasper and Edward set up shop on the side of the house near the firepit. Craning her head, she could see Jasper attempting to light a fire while Edward pulled the chairs closer. "I guess we should go down there huh?"

"You don't have to. You always have a choice Bella. Jasper and I are going to veg out down there but you Edward can do whatever you want." Alice stood and gave her friend a quick hug.

Picking up the monitor and leaving the cans and her tea cup behind, Bella reluctantly followed, knowing Edward was waiting for her to come to him. She knew that if she stayed put, he would eventually join her on the porch, but she had to admit to herself that company and conversation sounded better than the constant chatter of her restless mind alone.

Edward met her halfway and wrapped his arms around Bella warmly. Still sensing her shiver he pulled away and questioned her?

"Are you cold? You're shivering." He asked her with concern.

"I am shivering. But it's not from the cold." Bella looked down as she said the words, hiding her smile from his prying eyes.

"Silly girl. Come here." Edward's arms wrapped around her again and kept her there until he felt a warmth rush up his back. "Finally got that fire going Jasper?" He said without turning to even look at his brother.

"Not me. That was all Alice." Jasper's reply had the four of them laughing.

"With Alice and fire, bigger is always better." Bella stepped back from Edward's embrace and shifted to turn them both facing the fire, catching the glint in Alice's eyes as she played with the flames, poking at them with a long stick as Jasper stood protectively nearby.

To Edward, Bella whispered, "It's one of the reasons I have the firepit on this side of the house, conveniently located near the hose."

"I heard that Bella." Alice laughed as she put the stick down near the pit and sat in a chair. Jasper quickly took the seat closest to Alice's.

"Are you okay with us coming over again tonight?" Edward stayed put, his arm still around Bella as they stood nearby.

"I always am okay with you coming over. I have court in the morning, so I guess I should at least try to get some kind of sleep, but I am always happy to see you." Bella motioned towards the chairs and Edward took the cans and monitor from her hands.

After settling the items in plain view on a small table, Edward reached over and took a can from the cooler near Jasper's feet and then joined Bella, taking the last empty chair and dragging it right next to her before sitting down.

"You guys are both drinking? Who's driving?" Bella's concerned look flashed from Jasper to Edward and back again before catching a smug look on Alice's face.

"You didn't tell her?" The look of shock on Edward's face was comical as Alice continued to smirk over at Bella.

"Tell me…" Bella let the end of her sentence hang, waiting for someone to finish it for her.

"I guess I forgot to tell you that they were staying over to join us tomorrow in court. It was the obvious solution." Alice turned away from Bella to stare at Jasper as she felt his hand tighten around hers in support.

"You forgot? To tell me what? That they were staying over? Or that they were coming with to court? I can't believe this. Alice!" Bella had to raise her voice to draw Alice out of her Jasper-induced trance.

"What? It's no big deal. It's just a few drinks and then bedtime. Calm down Bella." Alice turned to face her slowly, her reluctance at leaving Jasper's face evident. "What is the problem?"

"Bella, if you want, we can go. I don't want to make you uncomfortable." Edward shook her arm gently, drawing her out of her fog.

Bella took a moment to process the change in plans, shaking her head before she answered.

"No, it's fine. I mean, I would have liked some kind of warning before it was sprung on me but what's done is done." At the look on Edward's face, Bella continued, "Honestly Edward, there's nothing wrong with it. Disruptions to my plans are never a good thing, but this is okay. It's a good kind of disruption." Bella finished with a smile, knowing that even though it was a change in plans, there was no real harm done and she needed to roll with it, needed to learn to roll with the changes instead of fighting against them.

"As long as you're sure." Edward leaned back, visibly relaxing as he stared at the fire. "Oh and Alice? You're fired. Can't even deliver a simple message." Edward shook his head and laughed with Bella as Alice gave him the finger while staring at Jasper.

"So, court tomorrow? Carlisle has some pretty amazing friends." Bella looked over at Edward.

"Yeah. He's a good man to know." Edward said vaguely.

"Who? Your dad or Mr. Jenks?" Bella wrinkled her brow in confusion.

"Either. Both. Take your pick. Trust me, I think everyone is surprised that he was able to pull this off as fast as he did." Edward smiled.

"I am still not sure what's to pull off. I don't know what to expect other than I am supposed to plan to spend a few hours there. I think they are giving me some leeway because of her medical condition, they know I can't possibly stay there the whole day and just wait for her father to show up." Bella's words were said very matter-of-fact and with no feeling at all.

"So, how did the doctor's visit go?" Jasper's voice came out of the blue, startling Bella.

"Oh, it was fine. That's always the typical response isn't it? Fine even though it's not fine. Just have to build up her strength a bit." Bella sighed deeply. "I just don't know anymore. He adjusted her meds again. It really is just a waiting game. Seems like we are playing a game anyway. She needs to be stronger for the surgery. Trouble is, how long will her heart last before it gives out completely? I mean, technically, if she isn't able to have the surgery right now, today, then what? If she gets sick and codes do we do an emergency surgery and hope for the best or what's the alternative?" Bella shuddered, knowing the alternative.

"What did the doctor _say_?" Edward asked, straightening up.

The silence surrounding the adults was broken only by the crackling of the fire. Bella inhaled deeply after Edward asked his question. She knew people were curious. In general terms, she never minded talking about it. She always left people hoping that she opened their eyes to the world's ignorance and maybe left them questioning themselves on what they could do to make the world a better place.

But talking to this group, the three people that probably knew her best even in the short amount of time they had known one another, was another matter entirely. She knew the short answers that were polite and well-meaning wouldn't work with this crowd. This crowd wanted answers straight from her heart, no matter that it might bleed a little while she talked.

"Well, obviously, if it gives out then they will try the surgery with how she is. I just need to keep her as healthy as possible until she grows strong enough to survive the surgery or sick enough that they will do the surgery and hope for the best. Trust me, the unknown is killing me." Bella tossed her head back and looked up at the darkened sky, hoping that no one would catch the tears filling her eyes. "It's always going to be something."

Bella looked around as Alice scooted her chair closer to her, with Jasper following suit. Edward reached over for one of her hands as Alice took the other and squeezed.

"Well, I can't pretend to know what you're going through, but you know we are all here for you Bella." Jasper, sitting on the opposite side of Alice, couldn't reach Bella. He leaned forward as he said his words and then leaned back in his chair before casting a wink at Alice.

As Bella took in Jasper's words, she felt both Edward and Alice squeeze her hands in support. Closing her eyes, she thought about how even with all her rotten luck, she still wouldn't trade anything for her daughter or her friends.

The next morning, Bella bolted upright in her bed after hearing the alarm start to chirp. As usual, her first glance was to the baby monitor and it's flashing red light. Brushing the tangled mass of hair from her face, she turned toward the other warm body lying in her bed. Edward didn't even stir. She let the machine chirp a few more times before smacking it with her hand. She rolled back over and propped her head up on her arm as she stared at his back.

The evergreen colored t-shirt was practically threadbare and bunched up around him in all the right places. During the night he had managed to turn onto his stomach and was currently hugging one of Bella's pillows underneath him. She smiled as she took in how peaceful he looked. Bella was torn between waking him up and indulging herself in a few more moments of admiration. She couldn't resist touching his back, slowly gliding her hand across the soft cotton of his shirt as she tried to smooth it out.

Bella smiled as she noticed that a corner of his lip twisted up the lower her hand moved. His eyes were hidden by a flop of hair laying across his forehead and Bella couldn't resist touching that next, admiring the soft curls that most men would either lop off or try to tame flat. She opened her fingers to let the softness slide between them and then quickly retracted them as she heard him mumble incoherently.

"Didn't catch that, what did you say?" Bella teased as she leaned in closer to his body.

Edward pushed himself up, nearly knocking her off the bed before wrapping her in his arms.

"I said, I am awake and if you keep doing that, we are not going to leave the bed." Edward drew Bella onto his lap, careful to keep enough distance between their bodies.

"Oh no, we are leaving this bed. I have a big day planned, followed by an even bigger night." Bella's eyes were playful as she brushed the hair off of Edward's face.

"You do? Anything I should know about?" Edward played along.

"Well, at some point today, I become a free woman. And at some point this evening, you are taking me out on a date." Bella said the words with confidence even though Edward recognized a bright pink stain coloring her cheeks. He knew how much it took her to say the words.

"A _date_ date? Edward asked with surprise in his voice, pretending to be shocked.

"A _real_ date. You are going to come and pick me up and bring me flowers and hold your car door open for me and buy me dinner. I expect an appetizer and dessert too, just so you know." Bella folded her arms across her chest, trying to show that she meant business. "Maybe even a drink or two."

"Sounds serious. Are we celebrating something?" Edward wrapped his arms around Bella's waist as much as he could with her arms folded.

"You bet we are. It is our first official date as boyfriend and girlfriend. Exclusively boyfriend and girlfriend. I am not sharing you with any other women." Bella kissed his lips, careful to keep her morning breath to herself.

"Likewise _Ms. Swan_." Edward emphasized her new name.

"Not yet I'm not, but I will be soon." Bella answered with a confident smile.


	16. Chapter 16 Court Is Now In Session

I apologize for the delay with this chapter, but I had a difficult time deciding where to end it.

Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight.

* * *

Jasper reached his right hand over the center console of his car without looking exactly where it was headed. He didn't have to. He knew it would be reached for automatically, just as it had the previous 3 times during the ride. If only he didn't have to keep letting go to shift gears. He gave a brief thought to his next car and made a mental note that it would have to have an automatic transmission above everything else. He just couldn't stand not touching his Alice. Not when she was in such close proximity anyway. Times away from her during the week were hard enough. He'd be damned if he wasn't going to make the most of his time with her, even if the trip they were headed on wasn't the ideal one he wanted.

No. If Jasper had his way, right now they would be headed to the airport and on a plane to Las Vegas. He would be counting down the hours until their plane landed and they would be settling in at the penthouse suite of the Venetian. Then, together, they would be counting down the minutes until they were standing in front of a minister pronouncing then husband and wife. The last minute details would all take care of themselves. He knew he was privileged, and rarely used his family's money this way, but when it came to Alice, no expense would be too great to make her happy.

Granted, the woman would be just as happy at a Holiday Inn as the Venetian, which was a good thing because if he didn't make reservations soon, they might actually be staying at one. But he wanted to show Alice the world. He wanted her to have every experience he had, every privilege, every little 'extra' that came with knowing someone had money. People tended to pay more attention to you when they knew you had money. He snorted slightly as he thought of the phrase they often used growing up. 'Money talks'. Indeed it does.

Even though Carlisle and Esme hated it when Jasper and his brother's said it, it certainly didn't stop them from knowing the phrase was true. Esme was on countless charitable boards, although since the arrival of Emmett and his family back in town, she had cut back considerably to become a full time grandma. Jasper knew, more than his brothers, that often his parent's names were changed to 'anonymous' on donor cards. Being the eldest, even by such a narrow margin, meant he was included in certain details the others were not. He knew Carlisle trusted his confidence, and he had never broken that trust, not even to his brothers, not even to his Alice.

Jasper hated keeping things from Alice. Hated that he couldn't just come right out and tell her that the amount of money that changed hands between Carlisle and Mr. Jenks was considerably more than he planned on spending on their wedding, including their $5,000 a night hotel room. He knew Bella would flip and not want any part of it. But Alice…it would be hard to gage her reaction. Bella would flat out refuse. But his Alice? She would want details and would carefully weigh out the pros and cons before deciding that it would be best for all involved if Bella and Tansy were no longer connected to Jacob. For all the flighty appearances she gave off, the woman really had a brilliant mind and could hold her own in conversations and back up her details with facts. This was also the reason Jasper didn't confide his knowledge of today's trip to Alice, it would be those details that might make her realize just how wealthy his family was. There was time enough for him to confide those details to her, but today wasn't that day. Today was simply a side trip they all dreaded but looked forward to at the same time. Today was a prime example of the phrase 'money talks'.

Alice grinned as she automatically entwined their fingers and placed the trio of hands in her lap. Marveling briefly at how beautiful Jasper's hands were, she knew she would never tire of staring at them. Jasper's slightly tan skin next to her much paler skin was a huge contrast in the way they fit together. It took both of her hands to encase Jasper's much larger hand, just as it took both of Jasper's much larger arms to wrap around her completely and make her feel safe and loved. Sighing with contentment, she reluctantly moved her gaze from their hands to glance in the side mirror of the car, needing to see if Edward and Bella were still following them. They were.

"They're going to kill us you know." Alice said, smiling the entire time.

"Then we die happy together when they find out or we die happier together when we are old and gray. Either way we win. Are you sure about this though Alice?" Jasper's smile straightened as he tried not to influence her decision. He needed her to be one hundred percent on board with his crazy idea.

"I never had a doubt in my mind Jasper. I feel bad that I haven't told Bella, but sometimes I think I am just another kid to her. Like she thinks she's my mother as well as Tansy's. Does that make sense to you?" Alice's perfectly plucked eyebrows came together as she furrowed her brow as Jasper briefly thought out his response.

"She does tend to mother you sometimes, I've noticed that. But I think it's because Bella gets so caught up in taking care of things that she doesn't realize that not everyone and everything needs to be taken care of as much as Tansy. She doesn't have to be in control of everything." Jasper sighed before continuing, "In her defense, I can't blame her though. I think if I were in her situation, with things being so out of my control, I would do exactly what she is doing and seek to control what I could even if it was overkill. I think it keeps her sane to know that there are things she is able to control, whether it's you or Edward, because things are so out of her control with Tansy."

Alice simply hummed her agreement as she nodded her head.

"Same question. Are you sure about this Jasper?" Alice stared out the window, already knowing the answer, but needing to hear it all the same.

"You know I am sweetheart. By the end of this summer, you will be Mrs. Jasper Cullen." The enormity of his own admission made Jasper smile and he lifted Alice's right hand and pulled her slightly over to his lips and kissed it, again, never taking his eyes off the road.

"And my history doesn't bother you? Or rather, my lack of history doesn't?" Alice sounded worried again. She knew it, but she couldn't help it. No men in her past had ever taken her seriously. Once they found out she had no past to really speak of, they usually backed off. The fear of the unknown and their own cowardice prevented them from ever getting to really know her.

"Alice, everything that has happened to you in your past, the known and even the unknown, made you the woman I fell in love with in the present. How could I possibly let that bother me?" Jasper said softly. The warmth of his words and the tone that he used let Alice know the sincerity of his words.

"I love you too Jasper." Alice said as she turned her head and gazed at him with a smile on her lips. "I just hope Bella still loves me after she learns the truth. I hope she forgives me."

"What's to forgive? Alice, we aren't getting married today. We are simply applying for and receiving a license. What's there to tell?" A grin made its way to Jasper's face.

"Oh please. You and I both know that the only reason we aren't getting married today is because legally we have to wait 24 hours for the license to be effective." Alice laughed.

"And after 24 hours, the license is valid for 60 days. Before the summer is over, you will have plenty to tell Bella, and anyone else you want. For now, it's just a license, and we happen to be applying for it today because we will happen to be at the courthouse which happens to be only one short hallway down from the County Clerk's office. It's just a matter of convenience." Jasper looked briefly at Alice. "Alice? When the actual wedding happens, are you sure you don't want a big wedding?"

"Absolutely. Other than the actual planning of a huge wedding, there's no part of one that I really want. I don't want to wear yards of fabric that will make me feel like I am a pillow. Anyway, all anyone will notice is a huge cloud drifting down a church aisle alone. White really isn't my color. It just makes me look more pale. I'd have to spend a fortune on a tanning salon to give me some color. Besides, we are babysitting tonight and what kind of wedding night would that be?" Alice replied with a certainty that made Jasper's smile reappear. "Smaller is better as far as I am concerned."

"I couldn't agree more baby. I couldn't agree more." Jasper said, pulling her hand to his lips for yet another kiss before released her hand to signal his lane change so Edward would follow.

"That makes five! Can't those two keep their hands off each other for a 20 minute drive even?" Edward snickered as he carefully watched the car in front of them.

"Oh, you're one to talk! If you weren't driving, and if this truck were automatic instead of manual shift, you would be all over my side of this seat." Bella laughed over at Edward as he pretended to pout. "Hey, you were the one that insisted we take the truck."

"It's a man thing. We have to prove our masculinity. Besides, we will be driving my car tonight on our date." Edward smiled, thinking of all the wonderful things he wanted to do to Bella's body once she was free of all the strings.

"Still not telling me where you're taking me?" Bella smiled as she glanced back at her still asleep daughter in the back seat of the huge truck. She caught the shake of Edward's head out of the corner of her eye. "Alright, have it your way then. I have bigger things to worry about."

"No. You have bigger things to _think_ about. The '_worrying_ about it' phase is done. You're in the home stretch." Edward meant to continue but couldn't get out anything other than his shout, "that makes six! Did you see that one? That was number six right there!"

All Bella could do was laugh with him over the antics in the car in front of them as they changed lanes behind Jasper and Alice.

"I feel sick." Bella shifted her daughter to one side of her shoulder and clenched at her stomach with her free hand.

"_Again_?" Edward reached for Tansy just in time as Bella thrust her daughter into his waiting arms before she took off to the bathroom…again.

"It's just nerves. She's just nervous." Edward leaned against the wall as he whispered to Tansy, trying to explain her mother's erratic behavior to the oblivious infant. He glanced down the hallway to witness his brother and Alice coming to join them. "Here comes Uncle Jasper and Aunt Alice, finally."

"Where's Bella?" Alice questioned as she reached for Tansy.

"Where were you guys? Bella's in the bathroom, again. She's really freaking out. What if he shows up Alice?" Edward reached for the diaper bag at his feet to pick it up along with Bella's purse which lay abandoned next to it.

"We went to get a drink of water down the hall." Alice replied dismissively. "Not you too! I keep telling you that he isn't going to show today. Legal stuff…he'll stay away. I've been telling you guys all morning but no one will listen. Maybe now you will." Alice bounced Tansy lightly as she rubbed the baby's back.

"How do you know this? I suppose your freaky intuition?" Edward crossed his legs in front of him as he leaned against the shiny, wood-paneled wall.

"It's not intuition. It's common sense. Listen. In court right now, Jake would have to listen to the judge and the lawyers, and if he got too riled up, the police. He is not going to show up here if he can't run the show. You don't know him like I do Edward." Alice huffed before continuing. "I doubt Bella realizes it either. She was always in LaLa Land when it came to him and then she was caught up in this little one so she never really paid attention." Alice hoisted Tansy up a little higher and kissed her head lightly before resting her cheek against her.

"So when do you think he is going to show?" Jasper leaned slightly as he placed a hand against the wall, his eyes intently watching Alice.

"Only when he can call the shots. Only when he can be in charge, and make a scene and get away with it. When Bella least expects it and when we are all off our guard having a good time." Alice gave each clue carefully, waiting to see which Cullen guessed it first.

"Tansy's Fundraiser." Edward answered, kicking off of the wall as Alice nodded her agreement. "Over my dead body."

"Now you see? That's why he didn't come here today. He wouldn't be able to control himself and his anger. There are too many rules and too many people in charge here. But there, it'll be Bella herself with Tansy." Alice took a few deep calming breaths before continuing. "He has always been self-serving. He is going to be there and he is going to play it up big time. Who's going to be there to tell him otherwise?"

"Me. He's not going to do this to my girls. I won't let him Alice." Edward reached an arm out to pat Tansy's back. He briefly considered taking her from Alice but decided that Bella might need him more when she came out of the bathroom.

"We'll all be there. He won't be able to do much. They did set up the account properly right?" Jasper rubbed Alice's back with one hand.

"Just Tansy and Bella, yes. I know Seth is on high alert too, but I'm still scared. You don't know how Jacob is." Alice looked spooked and held Tansy even tighter against her, as if holding her would create an invisible shield around them. It didn't escape Jasper's eagle eyes.

"What's going on? What aren't you telling us Alice?" Jasper pulled Alice toward one of the brown benches in the hallway and motioned for Edward to follow.

Once seated, Alice settled Tansy into her lap and hoped that her tears wouldn't fall.

"I don't want to do this here. Not right now." Alice looked down the hall, watching for Bella.

"Spill it Alice." Edward's harsh words earned him a glare from his brother that told him to immediately back off. "Please?"

"It's just that ever since I have known Jake, I know he's never been faithful to Bella. I mean, maybe he was. I only know of one definite but then there are several others that he almost…" Alice's words broke off as she choked back a small cry and leaned in towards Jasper.

"Alice, did he actually cheat on her?" Edward's words were so quiet they were barely heard except by the three of them. As she nodded against Jasper's chest, Edward continued. "How many times?"

The anger rolling off Edward was coming in waves as Alice clung closer to Tansy and held herself against Jasper's chest, only relaxing after he drew his arms tightly around them.

"There was a distant cousin of his that I know of for sure, I don't think Leah would lie. Then there was some flirting with our ex-boss, the midwife, and then me." Alice whispered the last words. Jasper drew Alice closer into his embrace as Edward seethed. Jasper pulled away only far enough to question Alice.

"Alice? Did he…" Jasper never got to finish his sentence.

"NO! I never let it get that far. I ran into him once without Bella and he kept…you know…touching me and hugging me. He forced a few kisses on me before I was able to get away. After a good knee to his nuts, I ran. Fast. I never allowed myself to be cornered by him after that either. The guy creeps me out." Alice shuddered and allowed herself to be comforted by Jasper.

"How do you know these things Alice?" Edward glanced down the hall, and realized with bizarre feelings that he hoped Bella would be sick a bit longer so they could finish interrogating Alice.

"Well, his cousin Leah came right out and told me. She really wanted Jake for herself but he apparently just used her for the sex. I actually felt bad for her, I really think she had some kind of fatal obsession going on with him. Our boss came right out and snidely threw that in my face when I resigned. The midwife I know about because I went to refill Bella's ice chip pitcher and caught the two of them making out in the alcove by the ice machine. Nothing like getting a little side action when the little missus is unavailable right?" Alice asked sarcastically.

"Wait, this dude cheated on his wife while she was in labor? Get the fuck out!" Jasper was nearly undone.

"Jasper! Language!" Alice reprimanded him as she held Tansy up higher, but her eyes almost danced with laughter. She could tell Edward and Jasper were barely holding it together too.

"What a douche." Jasper said as he leaned forward and bent closer to Tansy. "You're better off without that one as a role model little girl. Listen to wise Uncle Jasper."

This set Alice off in a fit of giggles as Edward stood. "I'll be right back."

"Edward, please. Let's keep this between us okay? Bella doesn't need anything else right now in the way of a negative distraction." Alice tugged on Edward's shirt sleeve, looking up at him with pleading eyes.

"I am not going to be the one to tell her any of this. I am not going to break that woman's heart." Edward patted Alice's shoulder. "I'm going to find Bella."

Leaving the courtroom and taking off down the hall, Edward was stopped in his tracks when he heard a voice he recognized. He turned to see his entire family, minus Jasper, headed toward him.

"Dude! They searched inside the diapers! Gross!" Emmett reached his brother first and hugged him as he slapped him on his back.

"What are you all doing here?" Edward greeted his family, his shocked eyes trying to take them all in.

"Silly, we're here for Bella. Where is she?" Esme asked the question while trying to look over Edward's shoulder, as if he was hiding her behind his back.

"Well, she's not hiding behind me! Stop it you guys. She's in the bathroom. She wasn't feeling good. Her stomach is acting up again. It's just nerves." Edward winced as Rose pushed the double stroller into his shin.

"Sorry about that Ed. This thing is so big I can't see the tip of it." Rose said.

"That's what she said." Emmett joked, earning him several disapproving glances from people nearby and groans from his family.

"Emmett? Do you remember what I said about using your indoor voice?" Esme talked to her son like he was five, making the big man turn red and visibly squirm. "We are in a federal building and there are rules, both the government's rules for their building and my rules for my family. Do you remember what we talked about this morning at breakfast?"

"Government buildings are searched and they don't allow cell phones in the court rooms." Emmett repeated the rule as if he was reading it from a cue card and smiled after he said it, obviously expecting praise of some sort.

"Good boy, and the other most important rule?" Esme patted her son's shoulder.

"Everyone should use their indoor voice except me. I need to whisper because my voice tends to carry over and above people." Emmett looked around and began whispering as if he suddenly remembered that he was indoors and needed to whisper. "Sorry Mom."

"It's okay Emmett. I know you can't help it." Esme hugged Emmett quickly before turning back to Edward. "Where is Bella? What bathroom?"

Edward motioned down the hall and Esme took off, searching her purse for something she obviously intended to give Bella. Edward turned back to his father.

"I can't say thanks enough for your help dad. I really appreciate you and Jenks helping Bella out like this." Edward shook his father's hand before Carlisle yanked him forward, giving him a quick hug instead.

"Nonsense. It's nothing I wouldn't do for any woman that I see at work that needs help. Speaking of Mr. Jenks, where is he? I need to thank him myself for taking care of this so quickly." Carlisle handed Emmett the diaper bag that was previously slung over his shoulder.

"Inside the courtroom." Edward motioned behind him. "He walked in with us and after we were settled out here, he said he had a few other cases to take care of first and we should sit tight for awhile and he would let us know when we needed to do anything."

Carlisle nodded to his family as he moved to the courtroom.

"I can't believe they searched the twins diapers. What the hell would I put in there?" Rose looked exasperated as she moved to quickly hug Edward. "You doing okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine, thanks Rose. I don't know why they would search the diapers. They pretty much avoided Tansy like she was contagious. Bella was allowed to keep her phone with her just in case but I think it had more to do with the fact that Jenks walked in with us and not so much in case of a medical emergency."

"I guess Bella was right about people and their ignorance. They ripped apart the stroller too. Apparently Rosie and I look like thugs that are out to do the local government system in." Emmett crossed his arms in front of him and tried to look smug.

"Well, since we are all here, I guess we should hurry up and go wait. There's no telling how long Jenks will want us to wait or if Jacob Black is even going to show." Edward looked grim.

"Chill bro. Keep your eyes on the prize. Tonight, the little lady is staying at the big house with all of us and you get the leading lady and the little house all to yourself." Emmett smirked knowingly at his brother.

"Yeah about that. Edward, I hate to say it, and I certainly don't mean to sound like a prude given this is yours and Bella's first official date. But promise me that you won't make things more complicated for her than they already are. I know we've only known her a short time, but she has become a good friend and I would hate to have to kill my husband's brother, especially his twin, just because you were being a douche." Rose patted Edward's back as she walked with him, letting Emmett steer the large double stroller. "I just want you to make sure you don't make demands on her or start issuing ultimatums on Bella."

Edward smirked over at his sister-in-law. "Rose, I give you my word that I am not going to hurt Bella in any way, shape, or form."

"Good, then we understand each other." Rose dug around in her purse and pulled out a small cloth bag. "These are a gift from Emmett and I."

Edward took the package and flipped it over before dropping his jaw at Rose and a smiling Emmett. Holding his palm up with the small package in it he just stared at them.

"Condoms? You bought me condoms?" At their identical nods he continued. "In a government building, in the middle of the day? You two are handing me a package of condoms?" Edward's voice accidentally rose in volume as the days events took an even more bizarre turn.

"You know it. Bella's not on the pill yet Edward." The serious tone of Rose's voice caused Edward to snap out of his disbelieving stupor.

"I know that. Don't you think I know that? Geez, you two are something else." Edward tossed the small pouch at his brother. "I can buy my own, and if you two excuse me, that part of the evening is all taken care of, I assure you."

Edward barely caught the little package as his brother tossed it bag at him as they made their way to join the others down the hall.

"You may as well keep these anyway Edward." Emmett smirked at him as he pushed the stroller past him. "Too small for me."

Edward jammed the condoms in his pocket and shook his head in disbelief as Emmett and Rose pawed at each other while walking down the hallway.

When they finally made it into the courtroom, Edward was surprised to see Bella standing up at a table with Jenks on one side and Carlisle on her other. Alice was sitting nearby holding Tansy as Esme and Jasper waved for them to sit with them in the back of the room.

"Your date might have to wait awhile Edward. I don't think I've ever seen Bella this shaken. I gave her some peppermints to suck on but she's really making herself sick over this whole thing." Esme looked on worriedly as Bella continued to grip the sides of the table.

Bella was merely nodding her head and stealing nervous glances at her daughter and Alice before turning her attention back to Carlisle and Jenks as they flipped through a pile of paperwork.

"God is this unfair." Edward's whisper could barely be heard and his brother's were barely able to stop him before he took off to be with Bella.

"We wait here Edward. Those were Jenks and dad's rules. We have to wait back here just in case he shows. Alice will watch out for her until this is over, then you can go be with her."

"What?" Edward could barely believe Jasper's words. "So I am supposed to just let her go through this alone? Are you kidding me?"

"I'm sorry Edward. I have order's from dad to take you outside if you can't handle watching Bella go through this. We can't interfere. Not in front of the judge. Jenks doesn't want to take a chance that Jacob might have someone here watching Bella and her actions." Jasper nodded to the other people in the courtroom. People that somehow Edward had missed in his quest to be with Bella.

"So unfair." Esme wrapped her arms around Edward and gave him a motherly hug. "Let's talk about tonight hmmm? Maybe take our minds off this?"

Edward hated to admit that Esme's plan had merit. He also needed for Jasper's tightened grip on his arm to letup. His briefly caught Bella's glance at him and mouthed the words 'love you' to her before she nodded and turned back to Carlisle.

"Are you sure you are okay babysitting?" Edward looked at no one except Bella even though his words were meant for his family.

"Dude, we're having a party, and you and Bella ain't invited." Emmett slapped Edward's back.

"Good. Bella will feel better with Alice there to help watch her. I doubt she would leave Tansy otherwise." Edward's eyes stayed focus on Bella, willing her to absorb some of his strength.

"Edward, you should see everything Jenks has lined up. He even went as far as to draw up the papers to legally change their names. Today. Isn't that great news? No more waiting." Esme tried to make her voice sound cheerful and not as worried as she felt.

"That's great mom, thanks." Edward said the words with no infliction in his voice, as if he was reading the words from a cue card. He only stared forward, wishing Bella would turn her head his way.

After each of their attempts at conversation fell flat, the family sat quietly in the back, watching Bella as she squirmed. Once during the ordeal, Tansy squealed loudly and Alice was given permission to remove her from the courtroom. As she made her way past the Cullen's, Alice dropped the diaper bag. It looked accidental, but Edward was sure it was on purpose. He mouthed a quick thank you to Alice as he picked it up for her and was able to touch Bella's daughter for comfort, gathering his own strength from the little girls presence, no matter how brief. He was rewarded with a sweet little gurgle from Tansy before Alice continued her walk into the hallway.

After that moment, things seemed to pick up pace. Bella began glancing to the back of the courtroom more frequently. At one point, once Alice reappeared with her daughter, she even managed a smile. She nodded ever so slightly in their direction before turning to walk to Alice. She reached for Tansy and held her tightly to her chest before rejoining Carlisle and his friend in front of the room.

As Jenks walked up to the judge alone, Edward saw Bella bend her head to kiss her daughter. He noticed that his father smiled and whispered something to Bella as he stroked Tansy's cheek. It was after he watched his father take out a handkerchief from his pocket and hand it to Bella that Edward saw Bella's shoulders shaking softly. He was so caught up in his trance and staring at Bella herself, he didn't notice Carlisle's brief nod to his wife before he reached for Tansy.

"It's over." Esme's voice was dripping with emotion as she put her arms around her son and Edward felt the crush of her hug.

It was just the thing Edward needed to shake him out of his trance. He looked around finally and caught sight of Jasper, wrapping a crying Alice in his arms. He saw Emmett reach for a sleeping Emily while Rose held a nursing Ethan closer to her breast. He looked briefly at his mother who was now wiping her eyes with a tissue before he again settled his eyes on Bella. She was hunched over a stack of papers, furiously scribbling her name while Carlisle held Tansy and Mr. Jenks simply moved the stack around and pointed where she needed to sign.

"It's what?" Edward was foggy, his eyes still glued to Bella's back, not fully understanding what was just said.

"It's over Edward. Bella's free. She's yours." Emmett patted his daughter on her back gently as he looked over at his wife and son.

All the months of waiting and the stress of the morning fell away as Edward stood and straightened. He glanced around and felt a rush of emotions fill him as he realized just how much his Bella had managed to capture not only his heart, but his whole family's. It was all he could do to wait for her to finish signing and not rush to her side.


End file.
